That jerk friend.

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andreyadonna
andreyadonna Posts: 70
in Motivation and Support
So, I've been quietly changing my life. Not mentioning it to anyone, I totally quit drinking soda (when I started over a year ago I was drinking a 2 liter of Mt. Dew a day minimum). And in the last couple of weeks I've really buckled down for the dietary changes. I haven't been able to get to the gym yet regularly. I feel like I'm really meantally into this. I'm making every decision independently, every meal is it's own opportunity to succeed and that is working very well for me.
And then came that Jerk friend. Who will remain nameless, that friend who talks constantly about her dieting. Even though she is always on a fad diet and never really loses weight. But I'm supporting and not judging her, it's not my place to lecture about good and bad choices. We all went out to dinner last night. I got myself a plate, filled it with as close an approximation to one cup of chicken with broccoli and rice as I could. We're sitting there eating and she mentioned that she takes wednesdays as cheat days. Which is whatever, that's not news to us. I mention to her that I had made cupcakes with another friend and I still had some left over if she'd like one while we hang out after dinner. And she scoffs at me and says "You know what you are? You are one of those team fail people. If you're going to be fat you are going to take everyone else with you." Now, I've known her long enough to know she was at least half joking. But it was borne with a sense of righteous indignation. And then of course when we got to the house she ate the cupcake, I had offered her some of my pineapple whip (a super low calorie delicous frozen treat). She opted for the cupcake and then talked about how when I was ready to get serious about dieting I should let her know.
It bothers me so much that she's taking her success or failure out on me. When I've already started making changes on my own. To say that I'm fat and trying to take everyone with me, it irritates me endlessly. But it's how she is and all pointing it out would accomplish is starting a fight. Does everyone have that jerk friend? Or is it just me?
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Replies

  • jeccawest91
    jeccawest91 Posts: 94 Member
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    I get rid of Jerk friends like that because jerk and friend dont really go together. Maybe you need to rethink that friendship if that is how she talks to you.
  • runner359
    runner359 Posts: 90 Member
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    When you need motivation just remember her. That would motivate me. I'd so want to get fitter than her.
  • train_01
    train_01 Posts: 135 Member
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    She was probably hungry haha. Don't let those peeps get you down. BTW, can I get that pineapple whip recipe? Sounds yummy!
  • toiletski
    toiletski Posts: 126 Member
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    Laugh off her stupid comments and focus on your goals. What she says should be taken with a grain of salt anyway. When you're ready to get serious about losing weight let her know as she shoves a cupcake in her mouth? Pffffft!! Do your thing, girl. :flowerforyou:
  • suncluster
    suncluster Posts: 539 Member
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    Dump her. She's is toxic!

    You are worth more and deserve more than that.
    Just because you have known somebody for a long time does NOT mean they can treat you like that :noway:
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
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    I would have told her off and threw the cupcake in her face. How dare she come down on you for her failures. Be proud and tell her that you've been making better choices for yourself and it's paying off. Looks like you've lost some weight and doing a great job. A good friend would understand and support, not knock you down just to stack up her horse a bit more. Keep up the great work!!!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    Yeah, that would be the damn day I'd have a jerk friend. I admit that my MOH is a b!tch, but I don't hesitate to tell her, and she's a little classier then to tell me I'm fat. If I do have a friend that gets snide and comments on my attempts at weight loss (which I have yet to have) then you're damn rights I'd go up one side of her and down the other. It would be polite the first time, after that she can stuff that cupcake up her *kitten*.
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
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    She was probably hungry haha. Don't let those peeps get you down. BTW, can I get that pineapple whip recipe? Sounds yummy!

    ^^This..so this...even the part about the pineapple recipe!
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
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    I have a jerk aquaintance hahaha, She likes to point out the foods available in the lunch room that she knows I love and say ...you can have some just today ..lol but I don't ...now I noticed this week she is eating really healthy because when she first got here she was slimmer and I was huge and now we are pretty much the same size and um she's not liking it much . She has also stopped eating dessert every night .

    I'll be supportive for her because I can .
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    yep, that is NO friend.
    sadly a ***** slap was in order.
  • mereditheve
    mereditheve Posts: 142 Member
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    Sometimes kids say the darnedest things! Seriously, your friend is speaking out of ignorance, maybe she thinks she's helping, maybe she just blurts out whatever comes to mind, maybe she is trying to come up with an excuse for eating that cupcake...

    Sounds like she's your friend and there's no need to judge her motives for what she said, and she shouldn't judge your motives either. You control your attitude, emotions and actions -- not the people around you. Good for you for making changes quietly and carefully. Keep it up!
  • mamaspa4
    mamaspa4 Posts: 32
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    I have a friend like that also.....thinks its a joke bc I go to the gym and work out with a trainer and all. SHe thinks I will just fail like the last times and I pray that this is it for me . I am on the right track of finally losing and I am going to keep it off
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    If she called me part of Team Fail, I'd have said, "NO CUPCAKE FOR YOU!"
    soupnazi.jpg
  • Vincentsz
    Vincentsz Posts: 407 Member
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    That would just stiffen my resolve to smoke her *kitten*! I'd stuff it down till I got to the gym and burn that *kitten* up! And every time I sat to eat it would make every healthy thing I eat taste like Filet Mignon!

    Then when she see you next, she'll say WOW! What have you been doing? And you should say "stuffing cupcakes and Ice cream down your F@cking throat!" And Then laugh like you just kidding!

    And always try to remember, in every joke there is some truth! Maybe a little, maybe a lot! But always some truth!

    True friends don't do that! Find a different one!
  • Sunbrooke
    Sunbrooke Posts: 632 Member
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    I have no jerk friends... Partly why I don't have friends though.
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
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    wow she sounds..umm..awesome! ha!

    but in all seriousness it sounds like her own insecurities and weight and diet issues she's taking out on you. it doesnt make it ok, but just know this that her comments have more to do with herself than anything about you..

    u talk about quiet changes....quietly step back from this "friend" and as i tell my daughter "find a new friend to play with"

    good luck!
  • andreyadonna
    andreyadonna Posts: 70
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    The Pineapple whip is Delish! Here's what you need.

    1 whole pineapple (or equivalent of canned if you don't know how to chop one up)
    1 cup almond milk
    1 tablespoon honey

    So you chop you pineappel into chunks and stick them in the freezer. Once they are frozen you toss them, the almond milk, and the honey into a blender and pulse that sucker until it's smooth. It's To die for. It makes about 8 servings if you dole it out in 1/2 cups or cups depending on your pineapple.

    Thanks for the support! Sometimes I just can't make heads or tails of that woman.
  • JewelsinBigD
    JewelsinBigD Posts: 661 Member
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    I think she is a jerk, that said - its not nice to offer people who you know are dieting a cupcake. So while I don't agree with her - you could be seen as sabotaging her in her thread...
  • Greywalk
    Greywalk Posts: 193 Member
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    Friend: A person who I enjoy their company, is honest to me, supportive, and when saying something I need to hear does so out of respect for me and for themselves. This person normally knows I expect honesty and enjoys my quirky behavior in some areas, is willing to overlook faults in others but reminds me when I am out of bounds. I have accidentally hurt my friends, apologized when I discovered it. But sometimes I have intentional hurt my friends because I care. They, my friends, know I really care about them. For my friends my heart is on my sleeve and I will do what i can be supportive of them while overlooking their quirky areas. I am thankful for my friends. Measured by this...she does not appear to be a friend. She appears to be one of those toxic people we meet in life. I wish you the best in your journey toward a healthy lifestyle...if I might suggest? Thank her but forget her.
  • Pearsquared
    Pearsquared Posts: 1,656 Member
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    ......I want to know about this pineapple whip.

    That being said, the most awesome thing you can do is be successful for yourself. Her attention is only on herself, but she doesn't value that attention. You value yourself, and that's why you're making the right choices whether or not anyone knows about them.

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