Hit rock bottom, starting to feel at home there...

shadey152 · February 2014

So I am really struggling to get motivated to lose the weight again. I study nutrition and exercise constantly (have for years and then started more seriously as I instruct DT) so I know everything that I should do/ shouldn't do but no traditional routes are working this time....

So here is the long version of how I got back to where I am. I was always a fat guy. At only 5'10 I weighed 265 lb. with not an ounce of muscle; I was complete wasted potential. Finally I enrolled in a school for my chosen career and had to do a lot of sparring and defensive tactics training, which was very difficult in the shape I was in. I began dieting and exercising. More than that I read EVERYTHING about diet and fitness. I eventually lost down to my goal of 185 lb, while maintaining my lifting goals. ie. Benching and squatting 225, Dead lifting 305 ect. I maintained this fitness level for about a year and shy of the dreaded loose skin I felt fantastic. Then came the back slide of my own creation.

I decided that those mediocre lifts were no longer good enough and that if this loose skin wouldn't go away at a pace I wanted I would "fill it with muscle" as all of those "mesomorphs" at the gym will tell you to. So I began to supplement and lift, not bulk but take a bunch of vitamins to boost my T and lift HEAVY and FREQUENTLY. Now at first I shot up to 205 easy and you could tell from my build that it was all (almost all anyway) muscle. Then I began to lift less frequently as life began to get the best of me. And then even less frequently than that.... But my appetite stayed at a much higher rate than I was used to. In all honesty my lifts continued to go up and I was still noticing muscle growth, so I didn't "sweat" the increase in appetite. What was it the guy I train with said, "feed the beast" I think it was. Then the dreaded day came....

I started to notice that every week or so my clothes got more snug, first in the places you like to see snugness... then everywhere. I stepped on the scale and I weighed 225 again. I looked at myself in the mirror.... "You don't look any fatter" Is what I thought. I looked OK, but not as good as I did. I felt awful (and in all honesty still do). Now What!!!!

I put myself back on a strict diet and exercise regimen for somewhere around six months. I got down a little more than ten pounds in the first few weeks and then there it was a brand new plateau. I am stuck at 213, I am stuck wearing my (not to sound like a women) "fat jeans", I am stuck occasionally squeezing into clothes that both me and the buttons know I should not.... MY asthma (the asthma at 185 that all but forgot existed) is getting worse again. My runs are going down, I am losing spars that my mind says I should be winning. And worst of all I am losing MOTIVATION. I stopped dieting this week...

The brass tax is I am about a month away from "giving up". From "excepting it". From using the excuses people keep giving me permission to use ( you know the ones, "it's in you genes" "You have asthma" "it comes with age" "I think it is just in your head" "Who cares, just be happy). I NEED HELP. So here I am in a long winded, last stitch effort asking for any advice, hell even any motivation anyone has to offer. PLEASE.

editorgrrl · February 2014

You've been in good shape before, so you already know you can do this.

Read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

aluethi1 · February 2014

Don't be too strict with your diet. That is going to burn you out pretty fast. Eat everything you love, just in smaller portions.

RomaWT · February 2014

You have got this. You know how to get there, dont give up now. Keep at it, you will get there. The most important thing is, you have done this before and you have all the knowledge. If you are at a plateau, you will get over it, give it some time. BUT DONT GIVE UP.

beachlover317 · February 2014

The brass tax is I am about a month away from "giving up". From "excepting it". From using the excuses people keep giving me permission to use ( you know the ones, "it's in you genes" "You have asthma" "it comes with age" "I think it is just in your head" "Who cares, just be happy). I NEED HELP. So here I am in a long winded, last stitch effort asking for any advice, hell even any motivation anyone has to offer. PLEASE.

The unfortunate thing is that the motivation has to come from within. You can add friends, join groups, get religion - nothing is going to make you eat healthy and hit the gym - but you. If you're not motivated any of the excuses will do.

From your ticker - you only have about 33 pounds left to lose. You're almost halfway there. How bad do you want this? How hard are you willing to work? When you answer those 2 questions - you will know if you are just going to be comfortable at rock bottom or if you're ready to meet your goals. I wish you the best of luck. :flowerforyou:

retiree2006 · February 2014

You're a "youngster" so my advice is simple. I yoyo'd up and down for 40 years before I got smart enough to say I don't want to keep doing this. I want to get to a healthy weight and STAY there because I feel so much better and my medical issues have reduced. You have found that out already yourself. So respect yourself enough to tough it out and get on with a long life as a healthier you! It takes time and effort but it is so worth it...and we're all worth it. We just have to realize that and treat our bodies with respect and love. Good luck and hang in there.

Chickee8586 · February 2014

Do you remember?

Remember how it felt when you achieved your goal?

Remember how you felt when you sparred and, even if you didn't win every one, you gave it your all?

Remember how looking in a mirror didn't make you think...<sigh>.

Remember having the energy to do what you wanted or needed to do at any time?

Remember eating, sleeping and playing with more zeal than you could fit into a day?

Remember who you want to be?

I'm sure you do. Now, go get him again!

kawookie · February 2014

Is there an underlying cause for your lack of motivation? Have you been in a car accident, taken a bad fall, or had some other physical trauma? Have you had a routine physical?

I only ask these questions because I stopped exercising at one point because it just got too hard. I chalked up to being tired, being too busy, and/or getting older. The true issue is that I was in a car wreck but walked away from it physically okay (I thought). I found out later that it had given me whiplash which had then caused my whole body to be painful especially when trying to exercise.

I had another friend who had some health issues she was not aware of, and she also chalked up her lethargy to being lazy, tired, too busy, or just getting older. After getting regulated she started dropping the weight.

While it doesn't have to be this, eliminating a physical problem might be a good starting point. I hope you get things sorted out quickly.

sashanicole88 · February 2014

To be honest, I've been feeling the same way. I have lost 80 pounds and maintained it for over a year, but after getting married and adjusting to a new lifestyle, I have gained about ten pounds from my lowest weight; although I know that doesn't sound terrible, it's just frustrating and I feel stuck there. Perhaps what we both need to realize, or at least reaffirm, is that health and weight loss is just like life; it has ups and downs. Remember - we are trying to maintain something that will help us remain healthy for the rest of our lives. At the end of the day, our goal with this journey is to stay focused on making healthy decisions daily rather than beating ourselves up when we see a number a little higher than we'd like. If we see ourselves and our progress slipping, it is our responsibility to notice that and give credit to it, but at the same time remembering that in the course of the rest of our lives, we will have times that are more challenging, times that are more successful, and I suppose it's all in finding the balance. It's hard to see how far you've come to see that you aren't there at this moment, but that's not to say you won't get there in time.

WBB55 · February 2014

I share some things in common with you. I don't know your whole story, but looking at what you've written, here's my advice.

Just for the next couple months, keep up with the sparing and lifting and things. And focus on that. Focus on why those things are important to you and what they add to your quality of life. BUT at the same time, instead of trying to lose weight, count your calories and macros and stuff with the EXPRESS GOAL of maintaining weight.

It is SO MUCH EASIER to maintain than lose, sometimes. And finding that maintenance level is an accomplishment. You'll have a lot of data and such to use for the next time you try for a cut.

Sound do-able?

shadey152 · February 2014

Nothing quite like that, but if I were the type of person to cling to excuses my best one would be my asthma... I have very severe asthma and while the asthma itself does not slow me down it weakens my lungs. EVERY winter I get a cold (who doesn't) but within two days my cold turns to an Upper Respiratory Infection... Now if I do not catch that with in the first few days I ALWAYS end up with pneumonia. This winter being a particularly cold one, I have had three Upper Respiratory Infection so far this winter. Everyone of those I tried to exercise through but cardio made me feel like I was drowning and when I tried to lift I had to go half weight because I just seemed to have no strength... I am finishing off the third Infection as we speak.

^This was supposed to quote the person asking about accidents... I obviously do not know how to forum.

myurav · February 2014

Those were my feelings for this entire week - just not feeling as motivated, wondering why I was doing this, and all that fun stuff. And yes, I went over my cals and yes, it was not the best I've ever been at. But here's the thing - future you will be much happier with 'past you' if you stop yourself before you backslide entirely.

One of my inspirations are some of the stories I read on here where people have lost weight over looong periods of time, and have talked about periods of plateaus and losing motivation. The difference between them and the people who go back up is the ability to reign themselves in, realize that it's okay to slip up, and get back to their healthy routines.

So, make a decision to keep moving forward. You have all the information and you know how to implement it. One step at a time!

SezxyStef · February 2014

that's on you.

I am not one to say "you can do it", "remember how good it felt" blah blah blah...

If you want it you will go out and get it.

You are listening to all the excuses people are giving you because you want to...

You are 25 years old with a medical condition that you are very aware off and it goes away at 185 ah hello....

Look around you at all of us who are 40 and up...look at those who have had a bigger struggle than you...after you do that quit feeling sorry for yourself and do what you know you need to do.

end of discussion.

ETA: even the title of this thread shows your self defeatist attitude...and excuse me if I am being blunt and to the point but really???? Hit rock bottom and feeling at home there...you might as well just go back up to 260 if you really mean what you say in your title.

beachlover317 · February 2014

Nothing quite like that, but if I were the type of person to cling to excuses my best one would be my asthma... I have very severe asthma and while the asthma itself does not slow me down it weakens my lungs. EVERY winter I get a cold (who doesn't) but within two days my cold turns to an Upper Respiratory Infection... Now if I do not catch that with in the first few days I ALWAYS end up with pneumonia. This winter being a particularly cold one, I have had three Upper Respiratory Infection so far this winter. Everyone of those I tried to exercise through but cardio made me feel like I was drowning and when I tried to lift I had to go half weight because I just seemed to have no strength... I am finishing off the third Infection as we speak.

^This was supposed to quote the person asking about accidents... I obviously do not know how to forum.

Illnesses are difficult for sure. They affect my lifting and my running. But here's the thing. Weight loss is about being in a calorie deficit - regardless of what you do to exercise. So, get your diet in order. Exercise however works for you. Just keep doing it. If you only get in 1/2 a work out - it's better than sitting on the couch. But diet is foremost. Priorities.

shadey152 · February 2014

Nothing quite like that, but if I were the type of person to cling to excuses my best one would be my asthma... I have very severe asthma and while the asthma itself does not slow me down it weakens my lungs. EVERY winter I get a cold (who doesn't) but within two days my cold turns to an Upper Respiratory Infection... Now if I do not catch that with in the first few days I ALWAYS end up with pneumonia. This winter being a particularly cold one, I have had three Upper Respiratory Infection so far this winter. Everyone of those I tried to exercise through but cardio made me feel like I was drowning and when I tried to lift I had to go half weight because I just seemed to have no strength... I am finishing off the third Infection as we speak.

^This was supposed to quote the person asking about accidents... I obviously do not know how to forum.

Illnesses are difficult for sure. They affect my lifting and my running. But here's the thing. Weight loss is about being in a calorie deficit - regardless of what you do to exercise. So, get your diet in order. Exercise however works for you. Just keep doing it. If you only get in 1/2 a work out - it's better than sitting on the couch. But diet is foremost. Priorities.

I maintain my diet (Shy of this week that is). I only eat clean and I stay right at my suggested calorie deficit. If I do not diet I ALWAYS gain but diet with out exercise (though this sounds like BS) always plateaus me. I couldn't tell you why but whether at a responsible deficit or a HUGE deficit, my weight stays on phased. I will say this though, when I run the weight melts off me at an unusually high rate....

^ I should note I almost never use MFP for tracking my diet. I keep an actual paper journal with me... It stands as a constant reminder and actually looking food up and writing down all of my macros keeps me honest and stops me from making poor decisions sometimes.

neandermagnon · February 2014

Nothing quite like that, but if I were the type of person to cling to excuses my best one would be my asthma... I have very severe asthma and while the asthma itself does not slow me down it weakens my lungs. EVERY winter I get a cold (who doesn't) but within two days my cold turns to an Upper Respiratory Infection... Now if I do not catch that with in the first few days I ALWAYS end up with pneumonia. This winter being a particularly cold one, I have had three Upper Respiratory Infection so far this winter. Everyone of those I tried to exercise through but cardio made me feel like I was drowning and when I tried to lift I had to go half weight because I just seemed to have no strength... I am finishing off the third Infection as we speak.

^This was supposed to quote the person asking about accidents... I obviously do not know how to forum.

Don't exercise when you're sick below the neck (which includes fever, chest infection, vomiting, diarrhoea, any systemic infection). In your case I'd advise not exercising when you have a cold either (even though that doesn't count as sick below the neck). When you exercise, especially weights, some of your immune cells are kept busy clearing up the debris from damaged muscle cells, which is part of the process of muscle growth. If you have an infection as well, then your immune system is fighting on two fronts, i.e. split between the muscle clear-up for regrowth thing, and fighting whatever viruses and/or bacteria that's attacking you. It's really better to not train when you're sick. It's *NOT* "just making excuses" it's making a decision based on what's best for your health. Exercising when sick below the neck is not what's best for your health. And definitely not when you're sick with pneumonia!!!

I understand that it feels like you're failing to make progress towards your goals if you're taking breaks from training when sick, but rest is a vital part of training, especially for muscle building, and one thing that results from insufficient rest is increased susceptibility to infection. In the long term you'll make more progress if you rest when you're sick and allow your body to recover. You'll get over the infection more quickly and get back to training again. And on that, are you giving yourself enough time to rest generally? One reason for feeling burned out could be that you're not planning enough rest into your training schedule. Insufficient rest can lead to both burnout and more susceptibility to infection.

There are excuses, but then there's knowing when you have a genuine reason to rest.

ETA: also you seem to be swinging between extremes, i,.e. training when you have pneumonia on one extreme, and the other extreme feeling defeated and totally lacking motivation to do anything.............. look for the more moderate happy medium where you're getting enough rest to recover properly (both from training and from infections, if you're more susceptible to those then that's just life, you have to work around it in such a way as to benefit your health) but still making steady progress towards your goals

msf74 · February 2014

I share some things in common with you. I don't know your whole story, but looking at what you've written, here's my advice.

Just for the next couple months, keep up with the sparing and lifting and things. And focus on that. Focus on why those things are important to you and what they add to your quality of life. BUT at the same time, instead of trying to lose weight, count your calories and macros and stuff with the EXPRESS GOAL of maintaining weight.

It is SO MUCH EASIER to maintain than lose, sometimes. And finding that maintenance level is an accomplishment. You'll have a lot of data and such to use for the next time you try for a cut.

Sound do-able?

This is great advice.

You need to stop "dieting". It has messed with your mind and the feelings of hopelessness, despair and irritability are all quite natural and well documented side affects of prolonged and unnecessary restriction. The good news is that you are human though

Work on improving your relationship with food and over eating over the long term not the short term. Have a moderate calorie deficit if you must. Incorporate the foods you like in it. Decouple exercise from dieting and calorie burn and value it in itself and the way it makes you perform. It is one of your best friends in your life long journey for health and well being. Focus on being consistent and not perfect.

Then....

Then GO KICK SOME *kitten*.

laurie04427 · February 2014

Feeling like things are out of control is frustrating. I found once I found my calorie number to lose weight and the one that will keep me the same things felt a bit more in control. Staying within these numbers I've seen that the the scale doesn't go up so things don't feel like they are spiraling out of control anymore.

brenn24179 · February 2014

I just hate it when people say oh life is too short, be happy, go ahead eat or Go ahead eat , we always gain it back anyway. I don't need stuff like this. I know I will always have to watch my weight, cards dealt me since I was around 17 years old. Life is not fair. But we do have a lot of help now a days and you are a good looking guy. My son was a chubby child and he is 34 now and watches his weight and looks great and has kept it off since his teen days. I am sure it has served him well in life and his career and keeping up with his daughter! Who wants to be in those fat clothes, male or female?

WBB55 · February 2014

Staying within these numbers I've seen that the the scale doesn't go up so things don't feel like they are spiraling out of control anymore.

^^QFT^^

Yes this exactly. Knowing you're in control. Knowing the numbers that are the line between gaining, losing, and maintaining. There's so much power in it. I mean, it's a balancing act, it's true. It's not like it's a cake walk. But it's easier on the mind than being all stressed out.

1princesswarrior · February 2014

I sprained my ankle a couple of weeks ago and if anything it's motivating me more. I can't workout right now and it's driving me crazy because I can't eat as much. So I'm more motivated to rest so I can get back to lifting. You need to look at adversity as a way to motivate you, not let it get you down. I'm looking at another 6 weeks off because I work a manual labor job that I can't take time off so it will increase healing time. I'm still not letting that get me down or using it as an excuse to not eat right or at a deficit.

colibri23 · February 2014

To be honest, I've been feeling the same way. I have lost 80 pounds and maintained it for over a year, but after getting married and adjusting to a new lifestyle, I have gained about ten pounds from my lowest weight; although I know that doesn't sound terrible, it's just frustrating and I feel stuck there. Perhaps what we both need to realize, or at least reaffirm, is that health and weight loss is just like life; it has ups and downs. Remember - we are trying to maintain something that will help us remain healthy for the rest of our lives. At the end of the day, our goal with this journey is to stay focused on making healthy decisions daily rather than beating ourselves up when we see a number a little higher than we'd like. If we see ourselves and our progress slipping, it is our responsibility to notice that and give credit to it, but at the same time remembering that in the course of the rest of our lives, we will have times that are more challenging, times that are more successful, and I suppose it's all in finding the balance. It's hard to see how far you've come to see that you aren't there at this moment, but that's not to say you won't get there in time.

Very well said! The last 1/2 really resonated with me. I think it's this kind of mentality that helps just have a few "off" days from time to time rather than completely giving up.

shadey152 · February 2014

I appreciate all of the feedback! I am usually very good at motivating myself and diagnosing the problem in my fitness goals, I suppose I am so steadfast on not clinging to excuses that I didn't realize being so ill all winter may have SOME effect on the plateau that I hit (mind you that looking back I quit losing again when I got the first infection) I am in the last few days of this one (I think I have three antibiotics left) I will get back on the diet bandwagon today and hopefully I can start working out again next week! I just hope to get back down to 185 without losing any lean gains, that is my all time goal!

On an aside for people who love to exercise and want an extra boost, getting my lifts up and run times down was largely thanks to fitocracy... CHECK IT OUT!

Hit rock bottom, starting to feel at home there...

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