Frustrated with everything

Oh dear, I'm sorry your family is being so negative!

At your height I'd have thought 140 was pretty close to a healthy weight. You are absolutely right to focus on inches rather than the fairly meaningless number on the scale, and good on you for sticking with the 30DS (it does get easier, I promise!)

You'll just have to remind your family that you are a grown woman, making your own decisions - thank them for their advice, but you'll make your own mind up.

Thank you for reaching out. There is absolutely no way anyone can maintain 1000 calories/cay and never reward themselves with some treats in their life. I agree with you in that you should focus on inches, since you are most likely pretty close to your ideal weight. It sounds like you need more of a support structure. If you're interested, I help to run weight loss support groups through Facebook. They're full of people who are committed to changing their lives for better health and fitness and who want to help others do the same. It's sure a great resource to go to if you are struggling.

I'd be happy to chat with you about it and answer any questions you have.

Allan

My advice would be to politely ask everyone who brings up your weight to stop. "Mom, your criticism and advice is not helpful or motivating for me. In fact, it makes me feel bad and causes stress, which contributes to weight gain and poor health. I have my own plan and am doing the best I can. Please don't discuss diet and exercise with me any more."

Since we all have a mother, we know that she probably won't be deterred by a polite sensible request and will persist with the advice and criticism. I would then elevate my response to, "Mom, if you continue to criticize and pick at everything I eat, I will start doing the same to you. Would you like me to point out every fault in your body? Would you like me to comment on every bite you put in your mouth? Please stop."

At that point I would do my best to ignore, or I would respond to her criticisms with one of your own. When she tells you that you should lose 10 pounds, I would say, "Mom, have you looked in the mirror? You could definitely lose 20 pounds. That pasta you ate last night is terrible for you. You're increasing your risk of diabetes. Have you exercised today?"

Every time she criticized me, I would meet it with equal criticism. I would bet that it wouldn't take long for her to stop.

Really, it is your journey. No one else's. They can have opinions, but you shouldn't take them to heart. Do what makes you happy!

I am outspoken and would say something like " I am better about my diet goals when I don't hear comments from others" or "stressing me causes hormones to be released that made me gain weight, so please stop" say it every time ( not angry not in a mean way, just say it) when they realize that they can't hurt you with the comments they will stop

If you don't want negative behavior to repeat, stop rewarding it...I bet someone in your family likes to make you mad...when you get mad you reward them...stop rewarding them..

good luck and all this fuss about five pounds? I have about fifty to go...so I admire your dedication!

You are absolutely right to focus on inches rather than the fairly meaningless number on the scale...

You'll just have to remind your family that you are a grown woman, making your own decisions - thank them for their advice, but you'll make your own mind up.

This. Inches inches inches and how you feel. Even after nearly 100 lbs lost, I see the same person in the mirror. Without my pants falling off me, I'd swear I haven't lost an ounce. Perception is NOT reality....at least when it comes to weight/fat loss.

...and challenge your mom to do better.

I am sorry your family is not being supportive! I would tell them if you wanted their advise you would ask for. Sure you could be on a 1000 calorie a day diet and lose that 5 lbs, but that is not sustainable! You do what is right for you. We are meant to have treats or else we would fall of the wagon! If you want to tone up then focus on that.

It is your life and you are an adult. They can not live your life for you. So stick with what you want to do and forget about everyone else.

Unless they've walked a mile in your shoes, they don't have the ability to commentate. That's my opinion. If you are happy with how you are approaching living a healthy and fit life, then be happy and don't let others bring you down! Enjoy the fact that you OWN this. Let them know that this is your journey and you have confidence in your approach.

Kill two birds with one stone. Stick to 30DS, don't push yourself so hard at first. I got really sore the first couple of days I did it but repeating it actually helped with the soreness. I just didn't push myself as hard until my body got used to it. For example, I took 5 second rest breaks and water breaks the after the first day when I thought I couldn't walk.

Second if you lose the inches it will look like you lost over 5 lbs so you mother will get off your back about your weight.

As far as her criticizing every bite you take, if it looks like you lost weight maybe she will back off. Just tell her you have to feed your massive amounts of muscle you have built up.

I am so glad you brought up this topic because it happens too frequently - those around us may mean to be supportive (or not) and wind up saying and doing things that cause the frustration you are experiencing. You've gotten a lot of great advice in this posting thread, so I won't repeat those things, but rather offer two slightly different perspectives. The first is that on some level your family, and mother in particular, probably does have good intentions. After all, she raised you and you seem a splendid person, so that means she cares and is trying in her own way to connect with you. Sometimes, it is easier to obsess over what someone else is doing rather than focus on your own stuff, and maybe you are providing a topic that creates that distraction. Maybe not, I am just guessing. My general experience is that parents mean well, and at times pick a less than elegant or optimal way to be supportive. The second is the idea of treating yourself. I agree with the others - 1,000 calories a day is just unhealthy; too often those are the diets we fall off of because it's just not sustainable. Like the others, focusing on a healthy intake (maybe more like 1,400 - 1,600 calls/day), you will still make progress but feel better. I am not much on junk food - my indulgence is my glass of wine on the weekends. I struggled at first to accept/decline invitations to go for drinks after work or out to dinner on the weekend until I came up with a system that allows me some freedom and to keep things in control. One glass of sauvignon-blanc at 5 -6 ounces has on average 80 calories. I allow myself that on Fridays and Saturdays only and two glasses only. That way if I get invited to the company outing at happy hour, I know exactly what I am going to order, and how many calories it has, and I only go on weekend nights. By placing limits around my "indulgence", I am able to indulge in a way that does not undermine my health and weight loss. Since I do not eat desserts or conventional junk food, this system works for me with healthy protein, vegetable, fruit diets throughout the week and weekend, working out 4 -5 days a week, and the inches are coming off. We find own way to make sure we feel fulfilled and balanced on this path - and you too will find yours. Just keep at it, and do not get discouraged. What matters is how you feel. Congratulations on taking this step and reaching out - it takes bravery to do so!