Seeing Yourself Through The Eyes Of An Honest Friend
Hanfordrose
Posts: 688 Member
Last Sunday, my hubbie took our camera with us to church. He wanted to get shots of folks in the church; but more importantly, he wanted a couple of shots of he and I together in our Sunday best. I would love to show you those photos, but I am having trouble with my Photobucket uploads at the moment.
I was wearing slacks (size 16)...looking a bit baggy. A knit top (size 1X) layered with a blouse that I have to admit looked mighty big in the photos. If you are one of my Facebook friends, then, you got to see those photos in my Monday photo post.
Getting back to the point of this post, everyone kept commenting how much weight I have lost. However, many of them wanted to know why I was wearing clothes that didn't fit me anymore. When I looked in the mirror that morning, I didn't think that my clothes looked 'baggy'; but in the photos, the truth was obvious.
Yesterday, one of my church sisters Sharon came over. She does housekeeping for me every week, and I asked her to skip the vacuuming to help me with 'something personal'...a reality check of my clothes. I love her, and I trust her opinion as an honest friend. We literally pulled out and bagged up half of my clothes in my closet, skipping the slacks, 'cause I don't want to replace all my size 16 pants right now. I have ordered 2 pair of size 14, but Sharon said that I am probably a size 12.
Oh my goodness! I can't remember the last time I was a size 12...maybe for short while in the Navy or in the 8th grade.
I didn't even need to try on many of those pieces of clothing, like the size 26/28 tank tops which I bought last spring and never wore, the old 4X tee shirts from our church in Nevada that I thought I couldn't give up for sentimental reasons, that last pair of size 32 pants and the 4X blouse that wore to that life changing surgeon's appointment in November 2012, when he told me that I had to lose 70 pounds to qualify for new knees.
What surprised me the most were the other oversized tops and blouses, because I just bought many of them in the last 4 months. I barely got to wear them, and Sharon kept saying, "That doesn't fit you. It is huge!" :noway:
At one point, I was between trying on tops, when Sharon really startled me. She told me that she couldn't help herself. She came over, grabbed my bra straps and pulled them straight up. "What size bra are you wearing? It's way too big and doesn't support you at all." I tried to explain that I just bought this bra a month ago..."and it is a 44C!" After lugging around 46DD's breasts for so many years, I'm not used to a bra that 'lifts me'. In the past, I considered myself lucky, if my old bras could hold my big boobs for a few hours without killing my permanently dented shoulders.
I DID notice that my new bra did seem a bit 'loose' in the cups. So, last week I ordered 2 more bras in size 42B. When I told Sharon about the new bras, she said, "They're probably too big. I don't think that you are a 42, and she grabbed the back of my bra to show me the obvious. I had plenty of room to tighten up some hooks in the back, and there were folds of loose fabric where I used to have rolls of fat under my arms pits. Instead of a spare tire and padding under my arms, I now have a rib cage. My goodness! happy
It is hard to look at clothes that I just bought and have to admit that though I love them, they don't fit me now...even after such a short time.
That's when Sharon brought me back to reality. "Why are you still wearing fat clothes? Why are you keeping all these clothes that don't fit you? Do you plan to wear them again?"
That was 'the whole point'. Was I holding on to them for security? NO! :noway:
I know...I really, truly know that I am NOT GOING BACK! I will never again be 280+ pounds. I know that as 'the truth'. I will not be eating my way back into those clothes. My problem is that I am still carrying around 'an old attitude', that clothes have to HIDE ME. I always wore clothes that were at least one size too big to HIDE THE FAT LADY inside them. Baggy clothes didn't show all the rolls of fat, the saddle bags, the Budda belly and fat arms. They helped give the illusion that my figure might not be so bad...or at least, that's what I thought.
Yesterday, I realized that I no longer need to wear clothes that are just one or 2 sizes bigger. I'm not hiding rolls of fat, saddlebags, Buddha belly or even the fat arms anymore. I have ribs, hip bones, a bony, little butt and a much smaller set of breasts that don't weigh down my shoulders. I can wear a bra that actually lifts my breasts, not just holds hanging sacks of chest fat. It's time to wear clothes that really fit me.
That honest vision from good friend brought out the truth. 3 big bags of nearly new clothes just got donated to our next church yard sale.
On a sweet note, I told Sharon that I had also ordered a church dress and slip this week; and she hollered "Hallelujah! We will get to see your legs." When I added that I bought tights instead of stockings to cover up the knee and ankle scars on my legs, she added, "You should have bought stockings. Your scars don't look that bad." That made me feel really good.
I am kind of looking forward to wearing that new raspberry colored, church dress...if it's not too big. I ordered a petite, medium. I'll get Sharon tell me, if it's too big and order smaller size, if I must. It has been a long time, since I went out in anything but slacks and slightly loose to very baggy tops. I guess, this old girl is ready stepping out from under a tent of oversized clothes.
I was wearing slacks (size 16)...looking a bit baggy. A knit top (size 1X) layered with a blouse that I have to admit looked mighty big in the photos. If you are one of my Facebook friends, then, you got to see those photos in my Monday photo post.
Getting back to the point of this post, everyone kept commenting how much weight I have lost. However, many of them wanted to know why I was wearing clothes that didn't fit me anymore. When I looked in the mirror that morning, I didn't think that my clothes looked 'baggy'; but in the photos, the truth was obvious.
Yesterday, one of my church sisters Sharon came over. She does housekeeping for me every week, and I asked her to skip the vacuuming to help me with 'something personal'...a reality check of my clothes. I love her, and I trust her opinion as an honest friend. We literally pulled out and bagged up half of my clothes in my closet, skipping the slacks, 'cause I don't want to replace all my size 16 pants right now. I have ordered 2 pair of size 14, but Sharon said that I am probably a size 12.
Oh my goodness! I can't remember the last time I was a size 12...maybe for short while in the Navy or in the 8th grade.
I didn't even need to try on many of those pieces of clothing, like the size 26/28 tank tops which I bought last spring and never wore, the old 4X tee shirts from our church in Nevada that I thought I couldn't give up for sentimental reasons, that last pair of size 32 pants and the 4X blouse that wore to that life changing surgeon's appointment in November 2012, when he told me that I had to lose 70 pounds to qualify for new knees.
What surprised me the most were the other oversized tops and blouses, because I just bought many of them in the last 4 months. I barely got to wear them, and Sharon kept saying, "That doesn't fit you. It is huge!" :noway:
At one point, I was between trying on tops, when Sharon really startled me. She told me that she couldn't help herself. She came over, grabbed my bra straps and pulled them straight up. "What size bra are you wearing? It's way too big and doesn't support you at all." I tried to explain that I just bought this bra a month ago..."and it is a 44C!" After lugging around 46DD's breasts for so many years, I'm not used to a bra that 'lifts me'. In the past, I considered myself lucky, if my old bras could hold my big boobs for a few hours without killing my permanently dented shoulders.
I DID notice that my new bra did seem a bit 'loose' in the cups. So, last week I ordered 2 more bras in size 42B. When I told Sharon about the new bras, she said, "They're probably too big. I don't think that you are a 42, and she grabbed the back of my bra to show me the obvious. I had plenty of room to tighten up some hooks in the back, and there were folds of loose fabric where I used to have rolls of fat under my arms pits. Instead of a spare tire and padding under my arms, I now have a rib cage. My goodness! happy
It is hard to look at clothes that I just bought and have to admit that though I love them, they don't fit me now...even after such a short time.
That's when Sharon brought me back to reality. "Why are you still wearing fat clothes? Why are you keeping all these clothes that don't fit you? Do you plan to wear them again?"
That was 'the whole point'. Was I holding on to them for security? NO! :noway:
I know...I really, truly know that I am NOT GOING BACK! I will never again be 280+ pounds. I know that as 'the truth'. I will not be eating my way back into those clothes. My problem is that I am still carrying around 'an old attitude', that clothes have to HIDE ME. I always wore clothes that were at least one size too big to HIDE THE FAT LADY inside them. Baggy clothes didn't show all the rolls of fat, the saddle bags, the Budda belly and fat arms. They helped give the illusion that my figure might not be so bad...or at least, that's what I thought.
Yesterday, I realized that I no longer need to wear clothes that are just one or 2 sizes bigger. I'm not hiding rolls of fat, saddlebags, Buddha belly or even the fat arms anymore. I have ribs, hip bones, a bony, little butt and a much smaller set of breasts that don't weigh down my shoulders. I can wear a bra that actually lifts my breasts, not just holds hanging sacks of chest fat. It's time to wear clothes that really fit me.
That honest vision from good friend brought out the truth. 3 big bags of nearly new clothes just got donated to our next church yard sale.
On a sweet note, I told Sharon that I had also ordered a church dress and slip this week; and she hollered "Hallelujah! We will get to see your legs." When I added that I bought tights instead of stockings to cover up the knee and ankle scars on my legs, she added, "You should have bought stockings. Your scars don't look that bad." That made me feel really good.
I am kind of looking forward to wearing that new raspberry colored, church dress...if it's not too big. I ordered a petite, medium. I'll get Sharon tell me, if it's too big and order smaller size, if I must. It has been a long time, since I went out in anything but slacks and slightly loose to very baggy tops. I guess, this old girl is ready stepping out from under a tent of oversized clothes.
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Replies
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Great story! You're an inspiration.0
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Good for you!
It can be hard. For the longest time I was holding on to pairs of "fat pants" because you never know when I might need them on my "fat days" etc... Finally said enough is enough and ditched them because if I start bulging out of my current pants I will know it's time to get down to business right then and there, instead of slipping into my "fat pants" for a few months and letting the problem get twice as bad!
Hooray! And congrats! Glad you had such a good honest friend.0 -
Nice post. I can relate to the bra problem for sure. I don't feel right in most of the bras that I buy. Don't know if its the lift thing or the fact that they shrunk or that they sag cause I am not 20. Haha0
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Great story and congrats on the loss! Everyone needs that one good friend who tells the honest truth!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
Truly inspiritational! Thanks for the share...got my even more motivated :-)0
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That is awesome! Good for you what an inspiring and honest story.
w/o even knowing it you inspire so many. I know for me for one, I have creeped and read your blog and cheered you on silently in the side wings! :flowerforyou:
Thank you!0 -
This happened to me too.
My closest friend here (we're Navy, we move a lot) saw me the first time in a bathing suit and said she had no idea how small I was. She took me shopping the next day. I was wearing clothes two sizes too big.
You are doing great! Congrats on getting to replace your wardrobe. :flowerforyou:0 -
thank you for sharing this, i really enjoyed it and congrats on your weight loss and cheers to the new you!0
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First off, WAY TO GO!!
I know you're fairly close to me (geographically), and I recently went through something similar with regards to undergarments. I hope I'm not overstepping here, but I went to Soma in Fig Garden Village last week and got properly fitted for new bras. I've lost 135 pounds and have maintained it for over a year now, and I just finally had to come to some of the same realizations you did. I've been pretty good about getting blouses and jeans that fit properly, but my undergarments were in need of updating (other than a few frilly things I bought for trips with the hubs). All my new clothes fit so much better now that I've invested in some good foundation garments. Soma's a bit pricey (worth it IMO), but even if you just go to the mall and ask one of the lingerie department clerks to help, they can get you properly sized. It really does make a world of difference.
And again, WAY TO GO!! You are amazing!0 -
I found your story very moving. You have a good friend. I hope you truly enjoy your newfound freedom
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Congrats and keep it up!0
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This is fantastic! Sounds like you've got a true friend, too!0
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So happy for you. I hope that the same thing happens to me. I know that a lot of my pants are too big, but i've been weeding them out. I just went through the tops and downsized everything. But I do need that honest friend.0
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When I dropped from a 24 to a 16 I had a hard time parting ways with my clothes!! OMG I went through the same idea where I just couldn't bring myself to get MY new size clothes and I still have a bit of a problem! I'll never forget when I just grabbed my clothes in Mommy Dearest style and whipped them out of my closet on their hangers and just pitched them all in a garbage bag to donate!! It was hard and it left me with NOTHING but a couple things that I had bought amd so it forced me to get clothes that fit me! You can do it!! Ditch the big clothes, you're a new person!! When you look at yourself in the mirror, you are NOT that 280+ person anymore, you are the new you and show it!!0
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I recommend that you keep ONE outfit from the old you. If you become complacent or start to get discouraged there is nothing like trying on the old sized clothes to get you refocused!0
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This was a well written and uplifting thing to read.
Good for you!
Enjoy your new body, improved health, and clothes.0 -
I recommend that you keep ONE outfit from the old you. If you become complacent or start to get discouraged there is nothing like trying on the old sized clothes to get you refocused!
That last outfit from November 2012 went into the bags for church sale this week. I don't need it anymore. I have several photos that easily show where I came from and why I can't go back...like these
This last shot was taken on the night, before my surgeon said that I had to lose 70 pounds to even qualify for new knees. I was wheelchair bound, because my legs could no longer bear my weight.
How's that for a roly poly woman? I thought that I was doing good, because I had lost a few pounds, before that important appointment with my surgeon. He wasn't impressed with my small weight loss, because he knew that my surgery would be waste of time, if I remained so heavy.0 -
Best story! Thank you for sharing0
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This is so inspiring to me. Congratulations on all your success and I wish you the best on your journey of health and fitness!0
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You haven't mentioned buying new clothes for awhile, so I'm not at all surprised to hear that the ones you've been wearing are too big! Great news; I'm so happy you've "seen the light", with help from a friend. One of the surprises I've had (relative to clothing for a smaller me) is that I now have no idea what actual styles or silhouettes now suit me, even though I can fit into smaller sizes. I'm sure you'll struggle with this, too. Good luck. It's a good problem to have, right?0
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Congratulations to you! You should feel so very proud of your hard work!! Awesome job!!0
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One of the best stories I've read! Thank you for sharing it...you're an inspiration.
As for buying smaller size clothes, I am having a hard time not seeing myself as a ladies XL or L, where I've been for more than a dozen years. I'm wearing a lot of "M" clothes now but I still try on the larger sizes first because I can't quite convince myself that I'll fit into the mediums. Old habits and mindsets die hard, for sure.0 -
You expressed, so beautifully, some of the same challenges I have faced while losing a lot of weight. The weight comes off faster than my mind can adjust. I still think like I'm my old heavier self.
Thank you for posting and being inspirational.0 -
Great post!0
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So proud of you!!!0
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Last Sunday, my hubbie took our camera with us to church. He wanted to get shots of folks in the church; but more importantly, he wanted a couple of shots of he and I together in our Sunday best. I would love to show you those photos, but I am having trouble with my Photobucket uploads at the moment.
I was wearing slacks (size 16)...looking a bit baggy. A knit top (size 1X) layered with a blouse that I have to admit looked mighty big in the photos. If you are one of my Facebook friends, then, you got to see those photos in my Monday photo post.
Getting back to the point of this post, everyone kept commenting how much weight I have lost. However, many of them wanted to know why I was wearing clothes that didn't fit me anymore. When I looked in the mirror that morning, I didn't think that my clothes looked 'baggy'; but in the photos, the truth was obvious.
Yesterday, one of my church sisters Sharon came over. She does housekeeping for me every week, and I asked her to skip the vacuuming to help me with 'something personal'...a reality check of my clothes. I love her, and I trust her opinion as an honest friend. We literally pulled out and bagged up half of my clothes in my closet, skipping the slacks, 'cause I don't want to replace all my size 16 pants right now. I have ordered 2 pair of size 14, but Sharon said that I am probably a size 12.
Oh my goodness! I can't remember the last time I was a size 12...maybe for short while in the Navy or in the 8th grade.
I didn't even need to try on many of those pieces of clothing, like the size 26/28 tank tops which I bought last spring and never wore, the old 4X tee shirts from our church in Nevada that I thought I couldn't give up for sentimental reasons, that last pair of size 32 pants and the 4X blouse that wore to that life changing surgeon's appointment in November 2012, when he told me that I had to lose 70 pounds to qualify for new knees.
What surprised me the most were the other oversized tops and blouses, because I just bought many of them in the last 4 months. I barely got to wear them, and Sharon kept saying, "That doesn't fit you. It is huge!" :noway:
At one point, I was between trying on tops, when Sharon really startled me. She told me that she couldn't help herself. She came over, grabbed my bra straps and pulled them straight up. "What size bra are you wearing? It's way too big and doesn't support you at all." I tried to explain that I just bought this bra a month ago..."and it is a 44C!" After lugging around 46DD's breasts for so many years, I'm not used to a bra that 'lifts me'. In the past, I considered myself lucky, if my old bras could hold my big boobs for a few hours without killing my permanently dented shoulders.
I DID notice that my new bra did seem a bit 'loose' in the cups. So, last week I ordered 2 more bras in size 42B. When I told Sharon about the new bras, she said, "They're probably too big. I don't think that you are a 42, and she grabbed the back of my bra to show me the obvious. I had plenty of room to tighten up some hooks in the back, and there were folds of loose fabric where I used to have rolls of fat under my arms pits. Instead of a spare tire and padding under my arms, I now have a rib cage. My goodness! happy
It is hard to look at clothes that I just bought and have to admit that though I love them, they don't fit me now...even after such a short time.
That's when Sharon brought me back to reality. "Why are you still wearing fat clothes? Why are you keeping all these clothes that don't fit you? Do you plan to wear them again?"
That was 'the whole point'. Was I holding on to them for security? NO! :noway:
I know...I really, truly know that I am NOT GOING BACK! I will never again be 280+ pounds. I know that as 'the truth'. I will not be eating my way back into those clothes. My problem is that I am still carrying around 'an old attitude', that clothes have to HIDE ME. I always wore clothes that were at least one size too big to HIDE THE FAT LADY inside them. Baggy clothes didn't show all the rolls of fat, the saddle bags, the Budda belly and fat arms. They helped give the illusion that my figure might not be so bad...or at least, that's what I thought.
Yesterday, I realized that I no longer need to wear clothes that are just one or 2 sizes bigger. I'm not hiding rolls of fat, saddlebags, Buddha belly or even the fat arms anymore. I have ribs, hip bones, a bony, little butt and a much smaller set of breasts that don't weigh down my shoulders. I can wear a bra that actually lifts my breasts, not just holds hanging sacks of chest fat. It's time to wear clothes that really fit me.
That honest vision from good friend brought out the truth. 3 big bags of nearly new clothes just got donated to our next church yard sale.
On a sweet note, I told Sharon that I had also ordered a church dress and slip this week; and she hollered "Hallelujah! We will get to see your legs." When I added that I bought tights instead of stockings to cover up the knee and ankle scars on my legs, she added, "You should have bought stockings. Your scars don't look that bad." That made me feel really good.
I am kind of looking forward to wearing that new raspberry colored, church dress...if it's not too big. I ordered a petite, medium. I'll get Sharon tell me, if it's too big and order smaller size, if I must. It has been a long time, since I went out in anything but slacks and slightly loose to very baggy tops. I guess, this old girl is ready stepping out from under a tent of oversized clothes.
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woohooo you go girl~ inspiring story!0 -
So happy for you my friend! I have been emptying my closet slowly and starting to panic a bit because I can not afford to buy new at this time. The little I bought is already too big. I can not wait to see you in your new dress! You look amazing! On a lighter note, I overheard a church friend tell someone that I hadn't lost that much weight, and that I only looked different because I was wearing clothes that fit me better and not hiding behind layers. It's not easy to purge our closets, is it? Glad you have a friend to help, can you send her over hear for a day? LOL thanks for being an inspiration to so many!0
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You are a remarkable woman, and your beauty really shines through. Thanks for inspiring me.0
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One of the surprises I've had (relative to clothing for a smaller me) is that I now have no idea what actual styles or silhouettes now suit me, even though I can fit into smaller sizes. I'm sure you'll struggle with this, too.
That IS THE PROBLEM. I really have no idea what size I am. I just ordered 2 pair of size 14 pants from Woman Within. They will arrive this week, and I am afraid they will be too big. Sharon thinks that I am a size12 in pants. Unfortunately, Woman Within doesn't carry anything smaller than a 14.
Dear God, help me. I am rapidly losing all my best sources for clothes. The large lady catalog don't carry clothes for my new body. I may actually have to go to a store for 'normal size women'. I have no idea what that will be like. It has been 35 years since I did that. :ohwell:0 -
Congrats!!! YOu are doing wonderful!! Thank you for the great post.0
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