Seeing Yourself Through The Eyes Of An Honest Friend

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  • mamacoates
    mamacoates Posts: 430 Member
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    Congratulations to you! You should feel so very proud of your hard work!! Awesome job!!
  • amy8400
    amy8400 Posts: 478 Member
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    One of the best stories I've read! Thank you for sharing it...you're an inspiration.

    As for buying smaller size clothes, I am having a hard time not seeing myself as a ladies XL or L, where I've been for more than a dozen years. I'm wearing a lot of "M" clothes now but I still try on the larger sizes first because I can't quite convince myself that I'll fit into the mediums. Old habits and mindsets die hard, for sure.
  • FattyFatsoMcTubby
    FattyFatsoMcTubby Posts: 170 Member
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    You expressed, so beautifully, some of the same challenges I have faced while losing a lot of weight. The weight comes off faster than my mind can adjust. I still think like I'm my old heavier self.

    Thank you for posting and being inspirational.
  • JoanneLynn
    JoanneLynn Posts: 156 Member
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    Great post!
  • Territravel
    Territravel Posts: 165 Member
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    So proud of you!!!
  • mistyblu13
    mistyblu13 Posts: 71 Member
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    Last Sunday, my hubbie took our camera with us to church. He wanted to get shots of folks in the church; but more importantly, he wanted a couple of shots of he and I together in our Sunday best. I would love to show you those photos, but I am having trouble with my Photobucket uploads at the moment.

    I was wearing slacks (size 16)...looking a bit baggy. A knit top (size 1X) layered with a blouse that I have to admit looked mighty big in the photos. If you are one of my Facebook friends, then, you got to see those photos in my Monday photo post.

    Getting back to the point of this post, everyone kept commenting how much weight I have lost. However, many of them wanted to know why I was wearing clothes that didn't fit me anymore. When I looked in the mirror that morning, I didn't think that my clothes looked 'baggy'; but in the photos, the truth was obvious.

    Yesterday, one of my church sisters Sharon came over. She does housekeeping for me every week, and I asked her to skip the vacuuming to help me with 'something personal'...a reality check of my clothes. I love her, and I trust her opinion as an honest friend. We literally pulled out and bagged up half of my clothes in my closet, skipping the slacks, 'cause I don't want to replace all my size 16 pants right now. I have ordered 2 pair of size 14, but Sharon said that I am probably a size 12.

    Oh my goodness! I can't remember the last time I was a size 12...maybe for short while in the Navy or in the 8th grade.

    I didn't even need to try on many of those pieces of clothing, like the size 26/28 tank tops which I bought last spring and never wore, the old 4X tee shirts from our church in Nevada that I thought I couldn't give up for sentimental reasons, that last pair of size 32 pants and the 4X blouse that wore to that life changing surgeon's appointment in November 2012, when he told me that I had to lose 70 pounds to qualify for new knees.

    What surprised me the most were the other oversized tops and blouses, because I just bought many of them in the last 4 months. I barely got to wear them, and Sharon kept saying, "That doesn't fit you. It is huge!" :noway:

    At one point, I was between trying on tops, when Sharon really startled me. She told me that she couldn't help herself. She came over, grabbed my bra straps and pulled them straight up. "What size bra are you wearing? It's way too big and doesn't support you at all." I tried to explain that I just bought this bra a month ago..."and it is a 44C!" After lugging around 46DD's breasts for so many years, I'm not used to a bra that 'lifts me'. In the past, I considered myself lucky, if my old bras could hold my big boobs for a few hours without killing my permanently dented shoulders.

    I DID notice that my new bra did seem a bit 'loose' in the cups. So, last week I ordered 2 more bras in size 42B. When I told Sharon about the new bras, she said, "They're probably too big. I don't think that you are a 42, and she grabbed the back of my bra to show me the obvious. I had plenty of room to tighten up some hooks in the back, and there were folds of loose fabric where I used to have rolls of fat under my arms pits. Instead of a spare tire and padding under my arms, I now have a rib cage. My goodness! happy

    It is hard to look at clothes that I just bought and have to admit that though I love them, they don't fit me now...even after such a short time.

    That's when Sharon brought me back to reality. "Why are you still wearing fat clothes? Why are you keeping all these clothes that don't fit you? Do you plan to wear them again?"

    That was 'the whole point'. Was I holding on to them for security? NO! :noway:

    I know...I really, truly know that I am NOT GOING BACK! I will never again be 280+ pounds. I know that as 'the truth'. I will not be eating my way back into those clothes. My problem is that I am still carrying around 'an old attitude', that clothes have to HIDE ME. I always wore clothes that were at least one size too big to HIDE THE FAT LADY inside them. Baggy clothes didn't show all the rolls of fat, the saddle bags, the Budda belly and fat arms. They helped give the illusion that my figure might not be so bad...or at least, that's what I thought.

    Yesterday, I realized that I no longer need to wear clothes that are just one or 2 sizes bigger. I'm not hiding rolls of fat, saddlebags, Buddha belly or even the fat arms anymore. I have ribs, hip bones, a bony, little butt and a much smaller set of breasts that don't weigh down my shoulders. I can wear a bra that actually lifts my breasts, not just holds hanging sacks of chest fat. It's time to wear clothes that really fit me.

    That honest vision from good friend brought out the truth. 3 big bags of nearly new clothes just got donated to our next church yard sale.

    On a sweet note, I told Sharon that I had also ordered a church dress and slip this week; and she hollered "Hallelujah! We will get to see your legs." When I added that I bought tights instead of stockings to cover up the knee and ankle scars on my legs, she added, "You should have bought stockings. Your scars don't look that bad." That made me feel really good.

    I am kind of looking forward to wearing that new raspberry colored, church dress...if it's not too big. I ordered a petite, medium. I'll get Sharon tell me, if it's too big and order smaller size, if I must. It has been a long time, since I went out in anything but slacks and slightly loose to very baggy tops. I guess, this old girl is ready stepping out from under a tent of oversized clothes. :wink:
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    woohooo you go girl~ :) inspiring story!
  • latoldy
    latoldy Posts: 19 Member
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    So happy for you my friend! I have been emptying my closet slowly and starting to panic a bit because I can not afford to buy new at this time. The little I bought is already too big. I can not wait to see you in your new dress! You look amazing! On a lighter note, I overheard a church friend tell someone that I hadn't lost that much weight, and that I only looked different because I was wearing clothes that fit me better and not hiding behind layers. It's not easy to purge our closets, is it? Glad you have a friend to help, can you send her over hear for a day? LOL thanks for being an inspiration to so many!
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
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    You are a remarkable woman, and your beauty really shines through. Thanks for inspiring me.
  • Hanfordrose
    Hanfordrose Posts: 688 Member
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    One of the surprises I've had (relative to clothing for a smaller me) is that I now have no idea what actual styles or silhouettes now suit me, even though I can fit into smaller sizes. I'm sure you'll struggle with this, too.

    That IS THE PROBLEM. I really have no idea what size I am. I just ordered 2 pair of size 14 pants from Woman Within. They will arrive this week, and I am afraid they will be too big. Sharon thinks that I am a size12 in pants. Unfortunately, Woman Within doesn't carry anything smaller than a 14.

    Dear God, help me. I am rapidly losing all my best sources for clothes. The large lady catalog don't carry clothes for my new body. I may actually have to go to a store for 'normal size women'. I have no idea what that will be like. It has been 35 years since I did that. :ohwell:
  • Heidijens123
    Heidijens123 Posts: 289 Member
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    Congrats!!! YOu are doing wonderful!! Thank you for the great post.
  • SheFitWalks
    SheFitWalks Posts: 29 Member
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    How wonderful! What a great friend you have and enjoy your new Raspberry Dress!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    One of the surprises I've had (relative to clothing for a smaller me) is that I now have no idea what actual styles or silhouettes now suit me, even though I can fit into smaller sizes. I'm sure you'll struggle with this, too.

    That IS THE PROBLEM. I really have no idea what size I am. I just ordered 2 pair of size 14 pants from Woman Within. They will arrive this week, and I am afraid they will be too big. Sharon thinks that I am a size12 in pants. Unfortunately, Woman Within doesn't carry anything smaller than a 14.

    Dear God, help me. I am rapidly losing all my best sources for clothes. The large lady catalog don't carry clothes for my new body. I may actually have to go to a store for 'normal size women'. I have no idea what that will be like. It has been 35 years since I did that. :ohwell:

    It's a problem alright.

    But once the initial frustrating stage is over it can be nice to be able to wear different silhouettes.
  • Hanfordrose
    Hanfordrose Posts: 688 Member
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    My friend Sharon was so right! I really don't know my size in bras.

    Ed took me to Walmart, and the ladies in the lingerie department helped me to find some new bras...bras that truly fit me. I had placed an order on line for bras that will be arriving this week; but they will be going right back, because they won't fit.

    I thought that I 'might' be able to wear size 42B. Boy! Was I off the mark. I don't wear a 42, or even a size 40. My true bra size is 38C. It felt so good to put on a bra that really fits me and looks good.

    The lingerie ladies could only had the bra I wanted in pink, but I bought 2 of them and will order a couple more on line. I also got some underpants in size 8. My size 10 were getting a bit baggy in the butt.

    The last important purchase of the day was a full length mirror. Now, I will be able to see what I look like in my new clothes. I won't have to wait for the photos of the lady in oversized pants and tops. :wink:
  • kbailey374
    kbailey374 Posts: 71 Member
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    I guess, this old girl is ready stepping out from under a tent of oversized clothes. :wink:

    I loved your post! I look forward to that day. Already my pants are in danger of falling off. I have always worn too-big clothes (that would eventually FIT with my weight gain) - I felt that if the clothes didn't fit tight you couldn't see how big I had gotten.

    You should see how big my work shirts are! They are going to look ridiculous pretty soon, God willing lol
  • graceire
    graceire Posts: 323 Member
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    One of the surprises I've had (relative to clothing for a smaller me) is that I now have no idea what actual styles or silhouettes now suit me, even though I can fit into smaller sizes. I'm sure you'll struggle with this, too.

    That IS THE PROBLEM. I really have no idea what size I am. I just ordered 2 pair of size 14 pants from Woman Within. They will arrive this week, and I am afraid they will be too big. Sharon thinks that I am a size12 in pants. Unfortunately, Woman Within doesn't carry anything smaller than a 14.

    Dear God, help me. I am rapidly losing all my best sources for clothes. The large lady catalog don't carry clothes for my new body. I may actually have to go to a store for 'normal size women'. I have no idea what that will be like. It has been 35 years since I did that. :ohwell:

    Yup, I bet they're too big! Woman Within sizes are also larger than say a size 14 in a regular woman's section of a department store. The first time I shopped in the non-plus size section of Kohl's, I kept waiting for someone to tell me that I was in the wrong place, or to look sideways at me like I was lost in the wrong department. Guess what, stuff not only fit, but some was too big. I still automatically order stuff on-line in an XL, and more times than not have to return it because its too big. Now, some brands I know are going to run smaller (Nike workout clothes, for example), but I need to remind myself that I'm not as big as I used to be (I've gone from a 22/24 to a 12/14...so far...).

    You've done an amazing job! I've also lurked on some of your posts and blogs, and have cheered you on from afar as you achieved and surpassed your goals. So happy for you and your new knees! I'll always remember the first post of yours that I read, about going swimming again for the first time in years. Your joy and happiness just shined through! :flowerforyou:
  • RockingGranny
    RockingGranny Posts: 64 Member
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    Please know your honest and sincere post is such an inspiration!! Congratulations on your new body. I hope you enjoy every one of the new adventures that your new body takes you on.

    Being a typical female, I had several sizes of clothes in my closet, when I started the journey back down to a normal size. My husband kindly put a donation bag next to the closet. As I go down a size, I fill up the bag and he drops it off. It is so much fun to fill the bag. I am almost ready to drop one more size and this time, I have very few fallback clothes, so guess who will be buying cute Spring clothes, this year? Woo-hoo!!

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