why do we overeat and not take care of ourselves?

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I have been thinking about this overeating, laziness, ignorance, escaping. Of course I know medication is a reason also. I asked my husband why he overate, and his reply was it is sooooo good. Oh yes, another one, maybe SELF CENTEREDNESS, do what you dirn well please and don't want to put the work into it.

I think I probably have all the above. Escaping because I don't want to deal and food distracts me from dealing and keeps me busy. Oh yea, LONELINESS, easier to eat than get out and find others. PRIDE, I think I can figure this out alone but I need others like ya on MFP. I wish I was smarter and could figure out this complicated subject but I know I can find smart people on this site and we all get together and figure out stuff for each other. I have many times put problems out and left myself exposed and it was hard but people on MFP helped me. It is hard to be so vulnerable and there are some pretty rough people on here but I knew some people would be kind and I would listen to them.

I know I have escaped a lot thru food and now I am dealing a lot and it was much easier to EAT! But in the longrun it feels good so I am trying to confront, face my fears, write and figure out why I am aggravated or frustrated and feeling some pain which I don't feel when I eat. Who wants to feel pain? But I have found it necessary to work thru stuff and find solutions. Also it is a pain not being self centered which I am and I want to eat whatever I jolly well want and not get fat. I say this is all you can have to eat today, Gosh it is painful! I know some of ya are not emotional eaters but gosh there has to be a reason why we do this destructive stuff to ourselves! We are human and mess up some but to continue all the time, any thoughts on this, I have just been thinking since I got my weight down?

Replies

  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    I have no idea...the only times I have overeaten and put on too much wieght is through pregnancy.

    Otherwise I have been fairly slim all my life and I simply cannot eat when stressed out, I lose my appetite completely. I do not find food a comfort in time of stress.

    Sorry I can't help you with your answer.
  • becksxxx70
    becksxxx70 Posts: 234 Member
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    For me, there's no deep seated reason. I'm pretty much on par with your hubby........I like eating......and drinking!
    Maybe throw in a bit of boredom sometimes and the fact like just as weight comes off slowly, it goes on pretty slowly too and you don't have really notice until BAM it hits you!
    Then for me it was still a good while before I decided to do something about it........
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
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    For me it was an abusive workplace that took advantage of me. Now that I am no longer working there, I have no issues with overeating and I prefer cooking my own healthy foods to eating out. I easily work out every day, I love to work out. I jump out of bed every morning at 7:30 with enthusiasm. When I was working at the abusive place, I could barely peel myself out of bed before 9. It was terrible!

    I think for people who have more deep seeded emotional reasons for overeating, a therapist would be really beneficial! I've suggested this to my mother before, she's definitely an emotional overeater. Some people have a straightforward emotional reason, but may not be able to find that reason on their own. Therapy is great at getting to the bottom of things and giving you ways to change behavior depending on what is triggering your emotions causing you to eat!

    Either way, MFP is a fantastic resource for support :)
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
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    Eating is also so comforting , I remember big family get togethers and really happy times around food . Gumbo reminds me of home and happiness as well as emotional support unfortunately . I love to eat also so that's too bad and I used to hate exercising so that compounded the issues I had .Now that I'm paying attention it's hard to stop eating but at least I feel terrible when I over eat ,which was normal before
  • bestbreakfast
    bestbreakfast Posts: 19 Member
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    Great post. I really relate to you poster on the reason I overeat and don't take care of my body. Like someone mentioned, I do believe it's a learned behavior and very difficult to change. Growing up, I watched my mom eat and she was obese and never really lost the weight. She now suffers from it with various health problems. I should be learning from her, but instead I find myself doing exactly as she did. I have never been morbidly obese but definitely overweight my whole adult life. I also had my children a year and a month apart, so basically went through pregnancy for 2 years straight, which somehow gave me the idea I could just be lazy and eat what I want. Big mistake. It's a struggle and a hard path to better habits, but i know it's the only way for me to be happy and healthy for myself and my children. Showing them what healthy is, setting a good example for them is one of my main motivators in this challenge.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    My husband is like you. He cannot imagine eating when he is stressed. He says it nauseates him. Me, I am the opposite. I seem to distance myself with toxic people but family members it is a different story. Holidays are especially stressful. We get together a week earlier now which helps but then loneliness sets in and I would eat. I didn't eat this year and kept weight down but felt the pain but also decided to try and solve the problem next year and go out of town and do something enjoyable. I have also had to set boundaries with them thru the year and learn to say No instead of yes to everything and then feeling stress. I am trying to problem solve in the family so I would get so aggravated and resentful and then you know what happens.

    I am tired of food distracting me and want to figure out what is bothering me! and deal not eat! I don't need an escape and run away like the monkey on Tarzan that puts his hands over his eyes and runs away when things get bad (just watched this yesterday) I learned food worked very well in giving me happiness but temporary and then the consequences, oh my, not worth it! When stressed, I say deal, figure this problem out, don't eat or you wont be wearing your spring clothes!
  • SbetaK
    SbetaK Posts: 380 Member
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    For me it was an abusive work situation too! Sometimes I was up 24 hours straight with no sleep. Food was like a mini-break and distraction from not having any control in my life. Health problems coming on-prediabetes with strong family history. High blood pressure. And a bad marriage. I am apparently an emotional eater seeking to distance myself from my troubles. Not only affected my eating, but my living enviornment and self care. Single now and moved on from that job. Decided I would rather be "poorer" and healthy than working to death and using all of my money just to spend it on trying to repair health problems. Life is more peaceful, I am in control of what I do, and am dealing with smaller income pretty well. I just had to back away and focus on myself, who I am, and what I want to do with my life! Number one-health and happiness.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    Yeah, we all got fat from eating breakfast. Doesn't EVERYONE know this already??:huh:
  • Roaringgael
    Roaringgael Posts: 339 Member
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    I have always used food as a comfort and like people who turn to alcohol and drugs I use food as a stress release.
    Some people maintain a better balance with stuff than I ever have.

    I stopped using drugs and alcohol 24 years ago due to my inability to use them sensibly. I have struggled with food all my life.
    I can only blame myself. Until recently (age 55) I wanted to eat large amounts of food more than I wanted to be healthy.
    Stopping over eating has allowed me to see clearly that I ate my emotions.

    I would stress here that not everyone is the same. Plenty of people here on MFP aren't like that at all.
    We aren't all the same about this.
    Some people never had the right information, give them the right information and away they go.

    Myself, I always knew (from early on because I'm a nurse) what I should be doing, but didn't want to do it because I chose eating over anything else.
    I know a lot of people who aren't very interested in food, they eat to stay alive - I loved food and still enjoy a good meal.
    Fit people actually make an effort, that's why they are fit, no one gets to middle age fit, a decent body size with lots of energy without EFFORT.

    I had an epiphany last year when I hurt my knee doing stuff all, that I had to change to save myself. I hope I can stay motivated.
    MFP really helps.
  • mrsnel
    mrsnel Posts: 9 Member
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    I can only speak for myself, but I find I run to food for comfort when I should be running to God. I am becoming aware of just how much of an emotional/stress eater I have become over the years. Let's say I've eaten a lot of emotions! The good news is I'm a work in progress and He's working on me.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    I'm not an emotional eater - when I overeat (usually sweets) it's because it tastes good and feels good in my mah belly! It does satisfy a strong, rather primal-feeling urge, but I don't think that urge is escapism. When I'm at my most stressed, I don't eat at all. Food is pleasure and that pleasure-seeking comes from my reptilian brain and is justified by my primate brain. Hah.

    What I've always wondered is this: It's accepted science that the human body (obviously with some exceptions, but overall) wants to store fat, and it really, REALLY wants to re-store fat that has been lost for whatever reason. To get that fat back it employs low energy, hunger hormones, cravings for high-calorie foods, slows the metabolism and basically makes us miserable unless we surrender and feed the beast within. Fat storage is believed to be a survival mechanism that got our ancestors through famines and was a signal to males that females were fertile and healthy thus helping to ensure our perpetuation as a species.

    So whether you believe in creationism or evolution - why is there no "upper limit"? If our body just wants to stay alive and multiply, why doesn't it seek to maintain a weight and activity level that is most beneficial to our health and longevity? Why does our design allow us to sit on the couch and eat ourselves into oblivion? I think science will fix obesity long before mother nature does, but if it didn't - would natural selection come into play and we would eventually evolve these harmful behaviors out as a species?
  • SwampWitch666
    SwampWitch666 Posts: 110 Member
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    I enjoy a good conspiracy theory. Check out some obesity/junk food conspiracy theories in America. Fun stuff.
  • iamaviking007
    iamaviking007 Posts: 23 Member
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    My problem besides enjoying food like everyone else does is that I have an anxiety problem and I'm peri/menopausal......... I used to smoke which I think was self-medicating my anxiety and stress. Fortunately I quit almost 6 years ago but within that time I have let the weight sneak up on me. The other part of my problem besides life just being "life" and hard at times is that I haven't exercised enough and when I do exercise I enjoy and stick with it more when I can go outside and ride my bike......... every winter I stop exercising. I am trying to turn over a new leaf and stick with exercising year round. Here's an interesting article regarding all this and there are many more if you google the subject. Just don't ever rule out the chemical reactions that happen in your brain regarding seratonin, dopamine and cortisol in regards to why someone over eats...... There is a saying, " It's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you"............ http://www.prevention.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-tips/how-stop-stress-and-lose-weight#.