Can I Really Be That Close To My Goal Weight...And More?

Yesterday, I weighed in at 167 pounds...113 pounds less than where I started in the fall of 2012. That wasn't even my top weight. I was closer to 290 pounds just a few months earlier, before my fateful meeting with a Kaiser orthopedic surgeon, Dr. K.

My sweet hubbie Ed was with me that day, when I spoke to the man who had the power to give me new knees and freedom from my sedentary, wheelchair bound life. Doctor K told Ed and I some important things that day. At that current weight, I should not be trying to stand or even walk outside...even with a walker. He had x-rays showing multiple fracture in the heads of long bones of my legs. A twist of a knee or a fall and I would likely split one of those long bone right up the middle.

Dr. K turned to Ed and said, "She has to stay in wheelchair, until both her knees are replaced. Don't let her walk around outside. Keep her in that chair. Sue can use the walker in the house, if she goes slow."

Then, he turned to me and gave me the really 'good news and bad news.'

"You are a perfect candidate for double knee surgery. You're not diabetic and labs are great...BUT..." Here it comes...the terrible BUT. "Sue, you must lose at 70 pounds, before I can do that surgery. We (meaning Kaiser) now know that any knee replacement surgery on someone your size will likely fail within 5 years or less. The metal prostheses and connection to bones won't hold up."

In a matter of moments. I went from being thrilled to finally be get my painful, old knees replaced to completely discouraged. I just knew that I didn't have another DIET in me. A lifetime of trying to lose weight had yield small, short-lived successes. Only once in mid-30's did I really lose weight (99 pounds in one year with Overeaters Anonymous), and I gained in all back in just a few months doing some really crazy eating, during a medical crisis with my little boy. I let food become my comforter...my sedative for the fears and concerns over my baby. Then, I never went back...never tried to lose weight again.

Here is what I look like on the night before that meeting with my surgeon, back in 2012...



and this photo was taken of me just a couple of weeks ago.



This is what I looked like at 175 pounds. I was hoping to get to 165 pounds, but I didn't make it. That was in 1980...the last time that I was under 240 pounds.



Perhaps now, you can see why I thought that a 70 pound weight would be unattainable on that day in November. I just didn't think that I had the strength to endure another try at losing weight. It took me a month to even think about putting myself back on a DIET. I hate that word, because it always seems to equate to 'starving myself and eating nasty food'. Diet meant giving up all my favorite junk food; but I decided to try.

I put myself on a rather strict, forced diet through December of 2012, living on meal replacement shakes, bars and snacks. Fortunately, my general practitioner ran some labs on me and insisted that I add some 'real food'. That when I decided to count calories and found MFP online.

MFP was a gift that helped me to begin making my food plans and new friends. To them...a made my commitment each day and got inspiration beyond anything that I could imagine.

14 months ago, I joined MFP. With few exceptions, I have logged in my food diary everyday. My MFP friends have followed my adventures, as I bought a swimsuit and returned to swimming after more 50 years. They were there as I got used to my rapidly shrinking body; and they were there, when I finally qualified and received my double knee replacement surgery in December 2013...one year after joining MFP.

The 70 pound weight loss WAS VERY ATTAINABLE. My commitment to MFP and new life changed as I realized that I could do even more. I blew past the 200 pound mark and changed my MFP ticker to reflect the weight that I really needed to reach...an unbelievable 145 pounds.

Sure...I hit plateaus along way...even for a month or more at a time; but something in me said, "Don't change anything. Stick to your food plan. Trust in the Lord, and you will start losing again." That is what I did. In January and early February I plateaued once more, probably in response to all the stress on my body from the double knee surgery with its difficult and painful recovery.

Pain or not, I stuck to food plan...to my very limited 1,000 calories per day. Then, my doctor suggested that I should increase my calories and protein to help with my recovery. My hemoglobin was bit low.

Here was the surprising thing. I increased my calories, first to 1,200 and then to 1,300 per day in mid-February; and suddenly, the weight began to melt off of me. In the past 2 weeks, I have lost 14 pounds! That is an incredible drop in pounds in such a short time; but I am thrilled. I feel like this is a gift from God for not giving up, when I wasn't losing...for trusting in Him.

Last night as lay in bed, I started 'doing the math'. I am almost 165 pounds, which is a weight that I have not seen, since I was 20 years old. That was almost 50 YEARS AGO!!! That means, I am about 20 pounds away from what my doctor says would be good weight for me...a normal body weight within those crazy BMI numbers. I wouldn't be obese anymore. I would be NORMAL. Oooo! That's scary.

Now, what I am about to say may make some of you laugh, some of you groan and some of you just want to give me a quick reality check; but this really is what I was thinking as I lay there, letting my mind wander.

1. I have lost 14 pounds in 14 days.

2. Even if I ONLY lose 14 pounds in March and 14 pounds in April...I will weigh less than my final goal weight. :happy:

3. Could this be REAL? Am I that close to 145 pounds and 'the finish line' of this very long trip from 280+ pounds to a normal body...a body that I have never known before, except as a new recruit in the Navy, when I was 19 years old. :bigsmile:

I didn't get to live at that weight for very long, because I jumped right up into 160's and then got pregnant. That began my years of 200+ pounds. In truth, I have lived most of the last 50 years as a woman buried under more than 240 to 290 pounds.

The body I am wearing today is battered from those years of abuse. The skin on my belly, my inner thighs and especially under my upper arms will never be the youthful, taut skin of 19 year old, but that's okay.

For today...I am just daydreaming about 'How close I am to my goal weight'. Today, I can see myself reaching that illusive goal...and maybe sooner than I could even dream. Or...I am getting ahead of myself and setting myself for disappointment? Either way, the daydream is nice.

How close are you to your dream weight? Do you see your goal coming closer and closer? Do you feel like it is SO CLOSE that you can almost touch it?