For Those Who Are Dong This Later In Life..........

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arabianhorselover
arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi. I am 53, and can't stop kicking myself for not losing this weight 15 years ago. I've been overweight for that long. In the "Obese" category, actually. Part of me wonders if it's worth it. I know it should be better for my health, but at this point what can I really expect to achieve? I'll probably never really look good naked. I'll probably end up with loose skin. And more wrinkles. I want to look young and fit, and that's not realistic. Does anyone else feel this way? Why, oh why, couldn't I have appreciated my body when I was young and slim? I never wore a bikini back then. Always thought I was too out of shape, or whatever, and I wasn't! How to accept that I can't go back? That I will never in my life be able to enjoy being young and fit?
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  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    I can't even type right at this point - I sure never meant to say "Dong" in the title..........LOL!
  • catfive1
    catfive1 Posts: 529 Member
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    I only worry about being happy and fit as I continue to age. And I'm 53 too.
  • jharb2
    jharb2 Posts: 208 Member
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    Yes you need to be realistic. But it is worth being healthy and fit. I did it. No, I do not like the extra skin and wrinkles, but I'm getting older and I would have had loose skin and wrinkles on a chubby/unhealthy body instead of a slimmer more fit body. Its never too late to feel and look better. Focus more on health then how you look. I work out and lift weights and feel 10x better. You cannot recapture your youth but you can make the best of what you do have. You can do it!!
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    You look so good. May I ask if you've had children?

    I only worry about being happy and fit as I continue to age. And I'm 53 too.
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Hey, I'm merely a whelp of 46, and our society puts different pressures on women than on men in terms of looks. But I've had to accept that I'm not going to look like I'm in my 20s again.

    Nonetheless, I can be healthier and more energetic in my late 40s and onward than I was in my 30s and early 40s when I put on the excess weight.

    One of my inspirations is the historian Natalie Zemon Davis. I went to a celebration for her 80th birthday, and she was out-talking and out-walking students who were less than a third of her age. That was 5 years ago; she's still spry and active at 85. Another is the old guy (maybe 75) who passed my wife and me when we were hiking up Cadillac Mountain in Acadia National Park some years ago. We were active hikers at the time, but he went by us like we were standing still. He didn't look young, but he looked great. I want to be like that in a few decades, not sitting in a chair all day. That's why I'm getting myself in shape now.
  • mymodernbabylon
    mymodernbabylon Posts: 1,038 Member
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    I'm only 45, so 'young', but I'm not doing this to fit into a bikini or look 25. I don't give a flying ... about that. What I want and what I'm hoping for is to live as healthy a long life as possible. To feel good in my skin, regardless of weight or size, because I'm eating well and I'm working out regularly. And quite honestly, I think you can look hot even if you don't look like a skinny 25 yr old...just hot for your age (even if you never wear a bikini).
  • sculler62
    sculler62 Posts: 13 Member
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    I am almost 63 and am finally losing the 30+ pounds I've gained since my forties. I like being my age. I like my silver hair, my sense of humor and my mental flexibility. Wouldn't trade that for the world of youth! But I will trade the weight that made me more sedentary, out of breath, frumpy and slow. Shedding this weight makes me feel younger!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    The thing is you could be saying the same thing in another 15 years.

    Why not do it and find out if it's worth it...I will tell you that it is!
  • Alissakae
    Alissakae Posts: 317 Member
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    I'll be 53 later this month - and have been working on this for going on two years. Of course I wish I had gotten myself under control years ago (and I think with the effort I put in I could have lost at twice the rate pre-menopause - ugh) but every time I go up a flight or two of stairs, or get up and down from the floor with my granddaughter, I know that every day I take care of myself is worth it. I want to be like the 90 year old lady in my water aerobics class who gets up and does stuff every day, including leading her den of cub scouts.
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,646 Member
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    I'm in the same questioning mode; but I am (and always have been) more modest and would never be comfy in a 2 piece suit, much less a real bikini! But I know I'll be healthier, it will be easier to find cute/ flattering clothes; I know I'll be able to do more- more comfortably.

    The other motivation for me right now - is eating this way is cheaper - so I am saving money - that I can spend on something fun - it's cheaper because of less eating out, and junky snacks. A head of lettuce is a buck and a candy bar is a buck, but the lettuce lasts 2-3 days and the candy 5 minutes....

    I am hoping it opens some dating doors - you married folks might (hopefully don't) not want that but as an always heavy always single 55 year old- I am hoping that being thinner will help someone nice take the time to judge me on who I am not just on my looks.

    I also figure that the bikini weight is way lower than I need to be to be healthy and comfortable so I could lose 40-50 and be good - but to be in a bikini I would have to loose 70-80 and really tone my tummy.
  • catfive1
    catfive1 Posts: 529 Member
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    You look so good. May I ask if you've had children?

    I only worry about being happy and fit as I continue to age. And I'm 53 too.

    I have a 26 year old son and a 25 year old daughter. I'm not too concerned with the stretch marks, loose skin and excess fat on my stomach. Losing weight and getting fit has eased the pain in my hips, knees, feet etc.

    My mom just turned 80. She is a diabetic with parkinsons and if fading quickly. I don't want to be that person.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Being stronger and healthier at this point is more important than looks. I might never be happy in a bikini again, but I damn sure want to be strong enough to ride my Harley for a long long time to come.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    Absolutely, do this for your self. I feel and look so much better. As other's said the wrinkles and loose skin are part of aging, no reason to fret. Better to feel the firm muscle underneath, wear the bikini on your private sundeck, and ride that Harley into the sunset!!!!! Oh yea, it is a lot more fun when you can play with the grandkids instead of watch!!!! Oh yea - I am 63, started here in 2010. Gained a few over this long winter but ready for spring to get back in great shape instead of good.
  • rocky503
    rocky503 Posts: 430 Member
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    I’m hearing that acceptance of not being young any longer is a struggle....

    Yes I'd like to look young and fit too but I’m gonna get old, wrinkled and gray no matter what I do. I'll you tell why I work out, lift weights, and watch my weight and intake:

    Years ago, in my early 30's, I worked in an emergency dept when an elderly woman was brought in by her daughter and son in law because she was weak. So weak they had to lift her in and out the car and into a wheel chair. The woman had many work ups prior and really there was nothing wrong with her, no diagnosis to explain this weakness. Her demeanor was like a child and although her family cared for her it was evident she was a burden and being tolerated. When I was alone with her, she said this to me, "don't be like me, don't let yourself become like this". Her weakness may or may not have had a medical reason but she had given up, lost her will. Meeting that person made me commit to be as strong as possible physically and mentally. My goal isn't to wear a bikini in my 50s or 60s but be a tough strong old bird that my family enjoys and doesn't pity. That's why I do this.

    With three sons, husband, friends and family I bet there is plenty you don't want to miss in the future. That's why you do it.
    To enjoy your life fully.
  • leapsonbounds
    leapsonbounds Posts: 77 Member
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    I am 53 also. Gave birth to twins 16 years ago, and no, I'll never wear a bikini. Ever. There is no point in kicking yourself for the past. Can't change it, so you have to move forward. As we are getting older it's going to get harder to lose the weight. It's still (relatively) easy...you can control your portions, eat more veggies, go out for walks or join a pool. You can do this. And in 10 years, if you don't start now, you'll kick yourself and think "why didn't I start when I was ONLY 53?" But in 10 years if you do start today, you'll be a much healthier, active person.

    I really truly felt the same way you did. I thought "what's the point" and "I can't" but the truth is I can and I did. Now that I've lost some weight I feel so much better, I can shop off the rack (is there nothing sweeter?), and my daughter is always super excited on the days I roast veggies (never expected that one).

    Friend request me if you'd like. We can support each other. Good luck!
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    I am also 53, so I understand your fear. Do this: Imagine you are your 54 or 55 year old future self. Now ask that future self if losing weight and getting fit was worth it. The answer will always be a resounding YES!:flowerforyou:
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    Here are two motivators that prove that 53 is not too late to be in fantastic shape and look good.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/californiagirl2012

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clk6r8tjlno
  • klaplace50
    klaplace50 Posts: 1
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    53 is hardly old. You have so much still ahead of you. Why not make the most of it, by being as healthy as possible. Losing weight will extend your life and allow you to have a better quality of life in the 30 plus years you have left.
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
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    53 is hardly old. You have so much still ahead of you. Why not make the most of it, by being as healthy as possible. Losing weight will extend your life and allow you to have a better quality of life in the 30 plus years you have left.

    I gotta agree here, no way in he** is 53 old! It can't be, not when I'm turning 52 this year. Stop looking behind you and start looking ahead of you. You gotta do the best you can to be the best you can be. Who cares if you never wore a bikini? I never wore one, and I was alway pretty slim. Just not my thing, I guess. But I'd like to rock in a pair of shorts (OK, and maybe a one piece bathing suit:laugh:).

    Get out of your head a bit. It is so TOTALLY worth the effort! Good luck.
  • Grannyfan
    Grannyfan Posts: 11
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    I paused for a moment here and thought how nice it would be to back at 53 again. My DH would be still alive, one of my daughters would still be alive, and my mother would also still be here. I would be as fit as a fiddle, and there would be no sign of the weird arthritic condition I now have, or the obesity which has come about partly because I comfort ate, and came to believe that chocolate really was better than sex, and then the dog also up and died, and I had no one to take me on my daily walk around neighbourhood anymore. I have clocked up nearly 20 years since I was 53, and in all honesty I have not really done a lot with those years, and now I feel as though I really must kick butt and take myself in hand. Life is too short and too good to waste on regrets. I am not afraid of death.. there have been times in fact when I may have welcomed it. But I now have 4 grandsons and I would really like to get healthy again, and not become a burden on any of my family. I want to be able to do up my own shoes easily and remain independent for as long as I possibly can. I want to be able to enjoy the time I have left, to laugh and play with the youngsters and I hope to live until at least 109 . I think that if I could at least loose some of these extra kilos it should relieve some the presure on my joints and therefore less pain, less gain, and better mobility. So, what I am hoping to achieve, is the reversal of the vicious circle I have been on for the past 20 years. i want to be the best that I can be, and I know that I sure as heck am not at the present time. Looking forward, being positive, and ever hopeful..
    Granniefan from New Zealand where Lady Summer is on her way out, and Admiral Autumn is making his presence felt with shorter days and cooler nights. WooHoo ..I do so love the Fall!

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