Help! I can't do this :(

mellyboo17
mellyboo17 Posts: 33 Member
SO, I have been on MFP plenty of times but I just can't seem to stick with it.
I don't know what my deal is. First time I was on MFP I managed to lose 35lbs in about 3 months. My motivation was my parents coming to visit me after a long time. Now my parents are coming to see me again and I have gained 5lbs back but now I am wanting to lose weight and stick with it. I want this to be a lifestyle change but it is so hard.
I love food so much! I never feel full. I am trying to cut out dairy, wheat and sugar, I seen this on dr. oz's website and people lost between 15 - 20lbs a month. Don't know if this is healthy or anything but I was going to give it a go.
I just really need a strong support system because I am weak, very weak and easily lose motivation.
I have so much weight to lose, about 150lbs and it just seems impossible to do.....*sigh*
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Replies

  • You can do it. You just have to believe in yourself. You are smart, beautiful and have what it takes to do whatever you want to do. Do it for you not your parents.
  • huneydrop
    huneydrop Posts: 84
    I would suggest joining some groups of people doing the same kind of thing, they understand and give the best support.
    Take it one day at a time and don't be too hard on yourself. This is going to take awhile, accept that and go with it.
    Good luck!!
  • First of all, don't listen to Dr Oz and don't do such a strict diet. It is unlikely that you will be able to stick to it if you enjoy the things you're completely cutting out. Been there, done that. Secondly, you need to read up on BMR and TDEE. Find the group eat, train, progress. They can help you setup everything. Calories, protein, carbs, fat, etc. Long lasting changes are made over a long period of time and not over night. You are more than welcome to add me as a friend and I'll help you if you truly want help. I wish you the best of luck!!
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    A healthy weight loss is .5–2 lb. per week. There's no need to eliminate any foods. You lose weight by eating at a deficit. Period.

    Read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    I use MFP's protein & fiber goals as minimums. That helps keep me full longer. It will take trial & error to find what works for you.
  • Joanne_happygramma
    Joanne_happygramma Posts: 207 Member
    You will most likely get a lot of different suggestions. Here is the first one from an old lady who has done this many many times with the same result (gained it back + ).
    First don't cut anything from your life except extra calories.
    Second don't set yourself too low calories -- feeling hungry only leads to being hangry which can result in over eating (states the queen of over-eating while hangry).
    Third - move just find a way to add (at first) an extra 20 or 30 minutes a day of extra moving, just walking is a good start
    Fourth - LOG EVERYTHING - E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
    Fifth - get yourself a core group of MFP cheerleaders and be a good cheerleader too.

    I want you to succeed, just make sure you figure out what is best for you. There I am done.
    Joanne
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    I think you will have more long term success if you are more moderate in your approach. There is no need to cut out large groups of foods. Food is not bad or good. Yes, you will be healthier if you eat primarily food full of nutrients (lean protein, dairy, fruit, veggie and whole grain) but you can find room in your plan for some treats that meet your emotional needs. If you read the message boards for very long, you will notice that the folks who have lost a lot of weight and kept it off made small, sustainable changes. They did not do a drastic, draconian plan that left them hungry and miserable. They also did not set deadlines. Face each day as a new opportunity to lead a healthier life.
  • mariecurie88
    mariecurie88 Posts: 15 Member
    It's not impossible, but it is a lifestyle change. I was in the same boat, and it did take time, learning to love myself, and above all patience. Time, because this didn't happen overnight, although it often feels like it did. Love, because I had to realize that I would never treat someone I loved this way. Patience, because you are human, and you will have days. I had one today, and I am going to use it as a lesson for next time. I won't get mad, I will just learn from it. When I started my journey several years ago, I built in a reward system, and every week I got something small for being good. Would that work for you? Oh, and it can't be food. That was a tough one I had to really learn! I use to reward myself with a movie, CD, shirt, just something to work towards. Now, I use Itunes songs. Friend me, and I'll do my best. :)
  • scubasuenc
    scubasuenc Posts: 626 Member
    I'm not a fan of any plan that eliminates food groups. Any changes you make need to be something you can live with for the rest of your life. The reason why we tend to yo-yo diet is that we eliminate foods, and then when the diet is over, we add those same foods back in that helped us get fat in the first place. I have a daily calorie goal. Anything that fits within that goal is OK. I do focus on my macro and micro-nutrients, but beyond that I can eat what I want. Over the holidays I planned my day and exercise to allow a special dessert most days. Last weekend I planned for some pizza. I believe we invest forbidden foods with extra power that creates cravings.

    Slow and steady is the way to win this race. Rather than drastically cutting your calories, eat at a moderate deficit. If you decide you want to go lower, reduce your calories gradually. Logging everything you eat is very important. Measure with a scale whenever possible. You need to be as accurate as possible on tracking the calories you consume.

    Don't just focus on the calories in side of the equation. Figure out a way to incorporate exercise into your routine. Believe me, as large as I am I can make a walk into an aerobic workout. Start small and work your way up to at least 30 minutes per day. Also, you can make yourself move more by parking further away from the store or walking up stairs in buildings.

    I firmly believe in taking the journey one day at a time. I get up each morning with two goals:
    1) eat under my calorie goal for the day
    2) exercise at least 30 minutes each day

    I know if I do those two things I will be healthier and the weight will also come off. You can do this too, but you have to have a plan and stick to it.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    I recommend you not do gimmicky diets. Eating healthy is not cutting out food groups unless you have allergies. Your plan has to be sustainable for the rest of your life so eating healthy should be your first goal, losing weight your second. There are lots of healthy foods that you can eat a lot of if you plan accordingly. You are not weak, you are strong when you put your mind to it. Put your mind to it and be the person you want to be!
  • skinnybythanksgiving
    skinnybythanksgiving Posts: 159 Member
    Hi. No, you don't need to cut that stuff out unless it makes you binge.

    Looking at your food diary I would suggest a lot of protein in the morning to stop your nonstop hunger. It really helps a lot. Those instant oatmeal packs are like throwing gasoline on fire in terms of hunger! Hodgson mill oat bran with some egg or ham and whole fruit would probably do the trick.

    I'm sending you a friend request. You can lose that weight, but you probably need more calories dear. You'll still lose like mad, and you'll be more comfortable. No need to torture yourself. :flowerforyou:
  • esmesmomma
    esmesmomma Posts: 17 Member
    i hear ya! I finally found this cool thing called diet bet and I lost 10# in feb and joined another one for march and april. it really keeps me accountable. plus getting a fitbit flex helped a lot. you can do this!
  • mellyboo17
    mellyboo17 Posts: 33 Member
    Thank you everyone for your input, yes it is very hard but I need and want to do this for me.
    I appreciate each and every one of you :)
  • Start making healthy smoothies. I'm mixing fresh spinach, grapes, blueberries, strawberries, broccoli, orange juice, water and ice and blend it into a smoothie drink with the NutriBullet. It is so good. It just tastes HEALTHY (and it is) and it is VERY filling. More nutrients are absorbed into your body when they are totally puree'd. DON'T ever starve yourself. That slows down your metabolism and slows your weight loss. I agree with the other posts too. I don't believe it ever works to deprive yourself of something you love. It just must be eaten in moderation. Good Luck on your weight loss.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    I'm not a fan of any plan that eliminates food groups. Any changes you make need to be something you can live with for the rest of your life. The reason why we tend to yo-yo diet is that we eliminate foods, and then when the diet is over, we add those same foods back in that helped us get fat in the first place. I have a daily calorie goal. Anything that fits within that goal is OK. I do focus on my macro and micro-nutrients, but beyond that I can eat what I want. Over the holidays I planned my day and exercise to allow a special dessert most days. Last weekend I planned for some pizza. I believe we invest forbidden foods with extra power that creates cravings.

    Slow and steady is the way to win this race. Rather than drastically cutting your calories, eat at a moderate deficit. If you decide you want to go lower, reduce your calories gradually. Logging everything you eat is very important. Measure with a scale whenever possible. You need to be as accurate as possible on tracking the calories you consume.

    Don't just focus on the calories in side of the equation. Figure out a way to incorporate exercise into your routine. Believe me, as large as I am I can make a walk into an aerobic workout. Start small and work your way up to at least 30 minutes per day. Also, you can make yourself move more by parking further away from the store or walking up stairs in buildings.

    I firmly believe in taking the journey one day at a time. I get up each morning with two goals:
    1) eat under my calorie goal for the day
    2) exercise at least 30 minutes each day

    I know if I do those two things I will be healthier and the weight will also come off. You can do this too, but you have to have a plan and stick to it.

    Love it!:heart:
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
    What you need . . . . is to get it out of your head that giving up XY&Z is going to help you lose weight fast. Slow and steady wins the race here.

    If you want this to be a lifestyle change, make it happen. You are in control of your life. Start off slowly. Be more conscious of what you are putting into your body. Ask yourself this question before you take that first bite . . . "Is this worth the calories?" or, "Does this have ANY nutritional value?" If the answer is no, Do. Not. Eat. It. Find a way to get regular and consistent exercise. Take a walk. Take the stairs. If you can't get to a gym, find some workouts that you enjoy on video or youtube or whatever.

    The fact is . . . you CAN do this!!! You can do pretty much anything, if you put your mind to it.

    Good luck. And no matter what . . . Do. Not. Give. Up!!!
  • silverteacup
    silverteacup Posts: 46 Member
    Hello,

    I won't offer too much in the way of diet , others can and will do that but I can say this .......losing weight has to be a selfish act. I don't believe you can do it for anyone else....it has to be for you.....YOU.
    I didn't really understand that for years I wanted to lose weight for so many reasons and the reasons were always for someone else ...a boyfriend, my parents, my friends, my sisters but when it’s all said and done I finally realized I have to do this for ME.

    Losing weight is a very personal thing and each person will have many different feelings about it. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty about boasting when you are successful…shout it out loudly and be proud.


    Draw the motivation you need from knowing that you are worth it. No one can say that you are not worth it even if they say things that make you lose your resolve. Stay strong and let that strength come from loving yourself and being proud each time you make the right choice.
    Weight loss is about one choice at a time. Sometimes we all miss step the important thing is to love yourself enough to realize that you can do it just get up and start all over again and keep going choice by choice. That's not even one day....just one choice.


    If you need a friend who has walked and is still walking the weight loss path then shoot me a note. My journey has not been easy but entirely worth it in the way I feel….and yes I made it all about me to everyone. My journey has been entirely personal for no one else just me.
    So stand tall and make it about YOU!
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,268 Member
    You will most likely get a lot of different suggestions. Here is the first one from an old lady who has done this many many times with the same result (gained it back + ).
    First don't cut anything from your life except extra calories.
    Second don't set yourself too low calories -- feeling hungry only leads to being hangry which can result in over eating (states the queen of over-eating while hangry).
    Third - move just find a way to add (at first) an extra 20 or 30 minutes a day of extra moving, just walking is a good start
    Fourth - LOG EVERYTHING - E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
    Fifth - get yourself a core group of MFP cheerleaders and be a good cheerleader too.

    I want you to succeed, just make sure you figure out what is best for you. There I am done.
    Joanne

    there you go, pretty much what I was going to say to you. I want to add that you should look at this as a one day at a time thing. Everyday just say to yourself "Just for today" add in fiber and protein you your meals, get more bang for your buck and add in 3 cups of lettuce with vegies as a salad to lunch and dinner. You can do this. Set yourself small goals and when you reach them, it will so much more rewarding and a bigger accomplishment. Set yourself for 5% increment of weight lost goals. They are easier to attain and you reach them faster. IF you are hungry more, then eat six times day. I do that. Its as learning process as we go. Dream it, Believe it, and Achieve it. We got your back
  • David_AUS
    David_AUS Posts: 298 Member
    What persists will exist - keep building your motivation, finding ways to switch habits. Do not underestimate the power of cumulative effect of many smaller changes. You can do this - you have already shown yourself - you have already shed some weight?

    I recommend to be very cautious of rapid weight reduction these tactics generally do not build long term habits and you can shrink faster than your skin - not to mention other potential side effects. Replace your "unhealthy" habits with ones that will support you on your journey.

    Learn - MFP is great place to measure what you are doing - you would be surprised how many CALS can be in grazing and how they stack up. Set short term goals and rewards (generally non-food based but they can be) when you achieve a goal - this could be anything even small things could be a bubble bath, get your nails done, massage / day spa, a new pen, theater show or anything you generally put off you know those things that you say "one day" to.
  • RetiredAndLovingIt
    RetiredAndLovingIt Posts: 1,394 Member
    Love what jbart & silverteacup had to say!!
  • Dnarules
    Dnarules Posts: 2,081 Member
    You will most likely get a lot of different suggestions. Here is the first one from an old lady who has done this many many times with the same result (gained it back + ).
    First don't cut anything from your life except extra calories.
    Second don't set yourself too low calories -- feeling hungry only leads to being hangry which can result in over eating (states the queen of over-eating while hangry).
    Third - move just find a way to add (at first) an extra 20 or 30 minutes a day of extra moving, just walking is a good start
    Fourth - LOG EVERYTHING - E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
    Fifth - get yourself a core group of MFP cheerleaders and be a good cheerleader too.

    I want you to succeed, just make sure you figure out what is best for you. There I am done.
    Joanne

    This!!!!
  • Davelh1976
    Davelh1976 Posts: 140 Member
    If its important to you....... You will find away if not you will find an excuse! it takes time it will take you about three years if you loose a pound a week. you can do that baby steps..
  • deladypilot
    deladypilot Posts: 618 Member
    There is some really great advice and support right here. Each and everyone of the previous posters knows what you are going through and understands. So grab a hold of some of them (or all of them) and make them your MFP friends. They will keep you motivated and give you great ideas on how to proceed with food and exercise.

    What I have learned over the years is that when I "diet" for a cause such as a wedding, a vacation etc, that as soon as that event is over, I put the weight back on. So get the idea that you need to lose because your parents are coming out of your head and just start thinking about how you will make your life better over all. Your parents love you or they would not be coming to see you.

    I agree, start by logging everything you eat, drink and I mean every bite, nibble etc. Even if your daily calorie count is way over. You can then look at it and decide where you need to improve. Do not be ashamed of it, hold it and look at it and take one baby step toward the right direction.

    I have not cut anything out of my diet but I do eat smaller portions of it. I have found was to add veggies that I did not like into my diet by adding them to something else.

    It is a process and if you want it, you will succeed.

    Best of luck to you
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Yes you can!!!

    First off, you don't have to give up foods or eat like a bunny. I used to think that way too and all it led to was yo-yo dieting for years until I finally figured out that was part of my problem. Eat what you like, just keep the portions under control. Weigh and measure everything, use smaller plates, eat slowly and really enjoy the food.

    Which leads to my next thought - learn to convince yourself that most of the time that "hunger" you feel is actually stress, sadness, lonliness, boredom, etc. There are other things you can do to soothe those emotions that don't involve eating. Talk to a friend, go for a walk, watch a funny movie or read a good book, play games on your computer, etc.

    It's a slow difficult process to change your behaviors and thinking but it can be done! Just keep working at it every day, set small goals. Give yourself a pat on the back when you meet or exceed the goals, and give yourself a break and commit to working harder at it if you don't meet them.

    And definitely stop trying to lose weight for your parents or anyone else - that never worked for me either.
    Do it for yourself, your health, your longevity, your mobility, etc. Learn to love yourself and take care of yourself!
  • PolacaFL
    PolacaFL Posts: 213 Member
    Break it down to small goals. You still lost 30lb...That's great! Now focus on the next 30lb. If you feel overwhelmed don't worry, not all is lost. You won't gain 30lb on one day of eating "wrong". Make sure you continue on track right after. Don't let one meal ruin it for all meals to come. I like counting calories only and not worrying so much about what I eat. It works and it is not overwhelming. Probably down the road I'll try to incorporate healthier choices.
  • You can do it!!! I know those struggles and hard they can be. Do you remember how you felt when you decided for yourself that you wanted/needed to lose weight? Once that happens again right yourself a letter to remind your self how you feel at that present moment and why this change is important to you. Every time you feel like your getting ready to fall off the wagon or you need some type of inspiration read the letter. Id be happy to share mine with you all though just as a heads it is very private and personal. However if it will allow to refocus on your goal I would gladly do this.

    Plan your meals. This was a challenge for me. Pick one day out of the week and cook for the rest of the week. On Sundays I know Im going to bake chicken. Instead of making one piece throw 8-10 pieces of baking sheet and let them cook. Buy storage containers and pack your meals ahead of time. That way once you start into the week you dont have that worry of "What am I going to eat" "Im so tired and I dont want to cook". All you have to do is go to the fridge and grab a meal.
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
    First off, you CAN do this. Just don't get discouraged. I have 130 pounds to lose, and I get down sometimes. But, we have to get back up... no sense in feeling sorry for ourselves, no one else does. Just take I slow, and don't expect a huge loss all at once. Even if you lose 1 pound a week... you LOST that pound. Never coming back, gone... at the end of the year... 52 pounds gone! I'm adding you, if that's OK. :)
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
    First of all, don't listen to Dr Oz ...

    ^^This. Dr. Oz only reports the latest trends in grocery shopping. He is constantly changing his mind on what's best for "you". "Oh, I know I told you a month ago that (insert product here) was best for you but now there's this new (insert supposed better product here) that you should try. We tested it for only (insert short period of time here) but I'm all for it NOW". I will admit, not all of his advise is bad, but if you watchi him every day for a month, he'll contradict himself at least twice.
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    Baby steps my dear.. You are aware of your unhealthy habits... we all are. Just start by eliminating one thing at a time. It's hard... you will fail ALOT. but just pick yourself and start again. Trust me making a healthy lifestyle an actual lifestyle doesn't happen overnight. You can do it!!! We're all here to help
  • FreshKrisKreash
    FreshKrisKreash Posts: 444 Member
    No, no girly. Don't say that. There are TONS of wonderful people on here who have done it. Don't ever think you can't do it. I suggest going through the success stories section on here and talking to some of those who have lost 150 pounds or more. The good news is you can still love food and loose weight. Read up about TDEE on this sight. You can eat plenty, get full on healthy foods and get fit. Don't give up. Like someone else said, do it for you. You clearly want this and so you shouldn't let anything stop you. Not even you. As Jillian Michaels says: "Tell your mind to shut up and get out of your body's way!"
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I remember telling my dietician once that I was eating relatively well, but was still constantly hungry. She told me to increase my fiber intake. That has helped IMMENSELY.

    I will have 1-2 Chocolite Protein bars/day. www.healthsmartfoods.com. My fav is the triple chocolate fudge. They make a great snack or a great dessert.