I REALLY NEED A FRIEND!

Hey there!

I am Diane. Self-confessed failure prone to self-hate and self-destructive habits who turned 29 five days ago.

Don't get me wrong, I can be a very happy-go-lucky girl. I am truly lucky to have so much in my life I have worked hard for, but... I am lonely. I am also prone to periods of feeling very depressed, negative and down about myself.

I have a good, though time consuming job. I live in a post-card pretty little slice or rural paradise. I can garden in the summer, and am surrounded by lakes I can swim in then too. I lease a horse currently which is a dream come true. I live with my boyfriend and have for nearly five years.

My sister lives several provinces (and a couple time-zones) away. I have friends but none are the really-truly-close kind. That could, in part, be my own doing. I tend to live in semi-hermit mode. Work and the commute to and from it, don't leave me much time for a life as it is. Then, add in the horse, housework/meal cooking, time spent with boyfriend.... and I am lucky if I sleep 5-6hours per night.

I frequently lose and gain the same 30 lbs. I have been on this yo-yo weight gain/loss trip for roughly 12 years now. I want those 30 lbs to go away for good. I want to lose those 30 lbs, and then another 20 lbs too!!! ...All told, I could safely drop 50 lbs right now. That would put me in a proper BMI place. A healthy place. I have been 'fluffy' most of my life, though I am currently at my heaviest. My lowest weight ever was a 150-lb, size-5. That lasted a few short months, and was caused by circumstances not-so-good.

I love most all music; everything from Slayer to Cream; Acid Bath to Pearl Jam.... Alice in Chains, RATM, Murder by Death, NIN, Led Zeppelin.... Sublime, Beastie Boys, Cake, Rush, Primus, Kyuss, etc... I love BBQ, rare steak and dark rum. I smoke marijuana, I only sing when no one else is around and I have an amateur photography hobby as well. I love animals, in addition to my horse lease I currently have a cat and a cornsnake... I love them all dearly.

What I am really looking for is someone to be my 'friend'. Someone who may share similar interests, who may have similar issues. I'd love to have a buddy I can check in with daily. Message back and forth with. Someone to text and say "Hey, I did ___ today" or "Hey, I actually lost __ lbs this month!" Someone I can talk to about daily life, how I feel, how I wish I felt... failures, successes, hopes and dreams. It doesn't have to be someone close by me, just someone willing to care and receive the same in return.

So, if you have roughly 50 lbs to drop, are roughly 28-33... love the country life, maybe have a bit of horse love in you... Love 'real' music and not that awful club noise... Can be supportive and chatty and expect the same in return... Can tell me when to 'suck it up buttercup' and pull my act together... Please, send me a message or something!! I would love to get know a few people, see who I 'click' with and hopefully find a true friend!!!