So what do you do when someone calls you fat to your face?

2»

Replies

  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    Things are crazy with moms and sisters. My sister can get under my skin like no one else. One time we were getting ready to go out (I'd finally lost all of my baby weight since I'd last seen her) and she says, "ugh! Now I'M the fat sister!!" I was mad and said,"you always were!"... Classy, I know. I was a size 0 and she was a 3. That just shows that neither of us was fat, we were just being insecure, competitive, and mean.

    bishes be cray
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    "Big butts are genetic...and obviously, I got my genes from you, MOM!"

    I'm kinda mean though.
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
    A quick kick to the gut followed by a powerbomb.
  • michellewong699
    michellewong699 Posts: 98 Member
    My family has called me fat my whole life... Now, I have 4 younger cousins that are in elementary school (the youngest is only in 1st grade) and my grandparents have the audacity to call them fat and laugh about it!

    Most Chinese people will call you fat and center their jokes around it. My uncle's nickname is "Fat Guy" (said in chinese) and its the most normal thing to do. Saying "hey, you gained weight" or "why have you gotten so fat? Ha Ha Ha" is as normal as "How are you today?"

    Granted, it still hurts to hear it. I used to have seriously low self esteem because of this. Now, I cringe when it is said about my younger cousins because I KNOW that there is nothing constructive about it.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    When someone calls me fat to my face, I cry about it and feel awful for days or weeks.

    So, yeah. And if I had to live with that person, as it seems you have to live with your mother, I'd want to avoid them so I wouldn't be hurt again.

    If you're stuck in that house and can't get out, then here is what to do: "Mom, the next time you make a negative comment about my weight, I'm leaving the room." And then do it. And she'll up the ante, calling you all sorts of things -- oversensitive, whiny, can't take the truth, bla bla bla. She'll try to shame you or act like you're not being a good family member if you don't suck it up and take what she says to you. (Why do I know this? I went through it too.)

    But if you state "If you do X, I will do Y" and then follow through -- no stomping, no slamming doors, just doing what you said you'd do -- eventually the new environment will become normal for her and she'll adjust to it.

    And if she says "Watch this!" to someone else and then turns to you and says "You're fat," you can get up and walk out of the room. And don't come back. Yeah, she's pressing your buttons, but she's the one who will look like the @ss, not you.

    Finally: do what you can to get out of that awful environment, if it's as awful as I'm imagining.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    bishes be cray

    Well, there's that too.
  • David_AUS
    David_AUS Posts: 298 Member
    Firstly you look great in your photos.

    Secondly what I think really does not matter - it is what you think that matters.

    One of the hardest things in my life has been to love me for who I am. There are so many "nice" quotes and expressions that are inspiring but it can take time to actually understand things like "you are perfection / beautiful; to love others you need to first love yourself".

    The deeper your connection with your true self the less power and meaning you will give to the opinion of others. This is really all about owning your life and who you are, how you choose to express yourself. This is an exciting journey and at some stage you will come to realize what other people think has less relevance to you.

    Try to keep true to yourself and keep doing what you feel driven to do. You will always have an initial reaction when people make comments, I encourage you to explore why you have the reaction to these comments, you may find that you are not being kind to yourself for instance, learn to embrace every part of you your "faults" and "strengths" - simple but not necessarily easy.
  • lesteidel
    lesteidel Posts: 229 Member
    "Oh, wow, now that you mention it, I was thinking the same thing about you, but didn't want to say anything because I feared I would hurt your feelings"
  • frood
    frood Posts: 295 Member
    "Big butts are genetic...and obviously, I got my genes from you, MOM!"
    +1
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    I either punch them on the face, lmao. or just tell them I can always lose weight but their ugliness is to the bone
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
    I've already always had not so great self-esteem/confidence, and everything was getting better, and I was working harder toward exercising and eating right. I was signing some paperwork this morning and my mom straight up told me,

    "Wow, you're getting big." And she poked my *kitten*. (She has no *kitten* btw). I had no response, no idea what to say. And then she asked if I "still" go to the gym.

    Let's see, if I was not fat (if that's you in the profile pic) then I would respond, "Maybe, but at least I'll always look younger and hotter than you." and leave it at that.

    If I WAS fat (as I am now), I would respond, "Thanks for pointing that out, I hadn't thought about it in the last five minutes." and leave it at that.


    Edited to add: and with either comment I would probably follow it up with , "If you touch my *kitten* again, I'll break your hand"
  • Lifelink
    Lifelink Posts: 193 Member
    As fathers can be jealous of their sons, mothers can be jealous of their daughters. Being a human can be a ***** sometimes.

    I usually laugh when someone calls me fat. They're usually sad people, and they taste bad. Because I eat them afterward out of spite.

    Btw - You're far from fat considering I could probably throw you like a javelin. I have a hard time doing that with fat people. Ask my ex all about that incident if you don't believe me.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    "Oh, wow, now that you mention it, I was thinking the same thing about you, but didn't want to say anything because I feared I would hurt your feelings"

    MOST GENIUS IDEA EVER. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    I am fat, so I guess I'd just agree.
  • MadBabysMama
    MadBabysMama Posts: 373 Member
    Definitely tell her she is out of line or else completely ignore her when she makes comments like that. Mean-spirited, not helpful, and most importantly NOT TRUE. Call her on it and request that she not make rude and unkind comments and that you are healthy and beautiful and doing the best you can, like the rest of us. Or just freeze her out and she should get the hint. So sorry your family is not being supportive.
  • Mrsallypants
    Mrsallypants Posts: 887 Member
    Do what Joe Rogan does when he is called fat: http://youtu.be/0yMYo_ziBn4
  • ALNoog
    ALNoog Posts: 413 Member
    Cry... Ignore it at the time and then cry.... It happen WAYYYYYYY more than you'd think..... My husbands co workers.. People where I used to work... Customers... People online (one told me to just go kill myself)... People in stores and restaurants.... I hate it, people are so mean... And when I am working so hard and losing weight it makes it worse.. At least for me it does.
  • freckledjezebel
    freckledjezebel Posts: 65 Member
    This matters because I am in fact fat and it has in fact happened to me before (just this past weekend someone called me a walrus- literally that was his exact wording): laugh right back in their face. With this particular "gentleman" I laughed at him with all my friends until he actually got his friends and left the bar. Makes people so uncomfortable when they can't elicit the emotional response they want from you- when they see that they can't hurt you. Because it really is hilarious when you think about it- they could literally say anything they want, any insult whatsoever, and they choose "fat"? Boring. Just shows how stupid they are- an intelligent person would come up with something more creative.

    Also- you have to know you're not fat. I mean really. And if you truly think that you are, if you see a fat person when you look in the mirror (I'm not talking about seeing 5 or 10 extra pounds), you might want to make an appointment with a therapist. I don't mean any insult by that, but you might actually have body dysmorphia. (Which would make sense if your mother has been making mean comments about your weight your entire life.)
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Normally I would ignore the person, but since I've seen other post of yours about your family and the things they say to you, I'm going to have to go with punching her in the throat.
  • blainepoe
    blainepoe Posts: 27 Member
    IMO, this is not about you being "fat" or not. This is about a dysfunctional relationship. It sounds like your mother was just looking for a way to belittle you. She could have commented on your job/attitude/man/house/whatever, but she picked your butt this time. Why are mother/daughter relationships so complicated? I do not know.

    You look great in your profile pic, btw. Curves are a good thing.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    I'd tell her to mind her business. And if your profile pics are current, there's not a chance in hell that you have 20 lbs to lose. There's just not. So I hope those are either old pics or your ticker is wrong.
  • amybg1
    amybg1 Posts: 631 Member
    My mom can be like that too - we love them but they can be the worst!! i usually have a comeback ready, she knows I train 5 days a week and when some mention has been done about my weight myself and my sister mention to her that i have lost a decent amount of weight and that whatever I'm doing is working. My brother whose not much for compliments even complimented me on it once...

    I attribute the comments to some level of jealousy, sure I'm 20 pounds heavier than she but I look /am a lot fitter than she is and when I touch her back or give her a hug or anything I can feel bone and fat, so sure she's lighter but...I packed on the muscle.

    I'd straight out tell her you felt hurt and I'd probably work on not thinking too much of it over time, someone will always comment at some point...Figure out a good coping mechanism would be my suggestion
  • liftsforchocolate
    liftsforchocolate Posts: 273
    whoops double post
  • liftsforchocolate
    liftsforchocolate Posts: 273
    I don't know what else is meant to happen today, so I'm just going to do laundry, lurk at little on here, and go to sleep. Today must be a really really bad day or something, or at least I hope. I don't think I can deal with this everyday.

    I stopped at a store on the way home from my dad and my eye appts/check-ups. I picked up some greek yogurt, neuros, plain black coffee (k-cups), chapstick, 2 larabars, and a box of atkins bars (my mom wanted them). I payed for my stuff, and the whole time my dad complained, "oh so you're not eating too many of those candy bars?" "oh, so that's what you're eating, chocolate bars". When I get home my mom asked me, "do you want me to lock them up for you?" I'm just thinking, what you're going to lock up the atkins bars YOU asked me to get for you? Or the two larabars (the protein kind)? I just took everything and pushed it towards them, and told them they can have it all and left. (I took my chapstick and larabars though muahhaha)

    MY LIFE IS SUCH A MESS, I want to bang my head against the wall and then walk backwards
    and do it again X1000 ;( I just don't know why this is happening to me.

    And now I'm responsible for taking my sister to the gym tommorow bc my dad can't. I'm just going to tell them no, she can workout out from home for once. I'm not ruining my schedule and then have them complain on top of what I'm doing.
  • liftsforchocolate
    liftsforchocolate Posts: 273
    Anyways, ^sorry about that, got carried away a little.

    Thank you so much for everything, it really means a lot. For the messages, posts, everything. If I was my old self, I would have binged on all those bars and ate everything in site, but I've ate normal. I'm not going to use food to fill my heart or get over my emotions. I need to be stronger.

    I know a lot of you guys have gone through similar situations and some might even be going through it right now. I can't really help much, but I just want to say I'm there with you and it's horrible, not fun at all. I wish life wasn't like this.
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,268 Member
    girl, I would kill for your butt. either say to her directly that it is not nice to make you feel that way or don't talk to her. since you live with her and all, I think the first way is best. don't you cry about this. sometimes you have to realize that unhappy people like to point out things about others to make themselves feel better. Maybe they do this unconsciously, but they do it. being fit is most definitely not the same as being flabby. maybe kill her with kindness next time and say thank you I been working on it with squats and all then walk away.

Categories