Feeling Low

Eve_e
Eve_e Posts: 57
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi. I'm just trying to figure out if this is right for me, or if I'm spiraling into a lot of negative thinking and habits.

I grew up skinny. I had a fast metabolism, and could eat anything I wanted without gaining a single pound. It wasn't until about a year ago that I started to gain a little weight. At first, it wasn't a big deal, because I was tiny - 90 lbs. - and could use an extra 5 or so pounds to fill myself out. Now, I'm 106 lbs. Before you say it, I know that's not obese. I'm only 5'1" though, so it would be nice if I could get back to 100 lbs. and be more toned.

This is just so, so hard for me. I'm constantly thinking about calories. Being so small, my calorie allowance is pretty low. Even my maintenance calories are low, so I feel like I have no relief to look forward to once I'm done losing. When I mess up, I feel miserable. When I do well, I feel miserable because I just want to eat everything in sight. There doesn't seem like a way I can win. I can't eat intuitively, I love fatty, salty, processed foods too much. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm sad and I think I might be developing disordered eating habits.

I have a feeling everyone will tell me to stop counting and just live, but then I'm just going to continue gaining until I AM obese. And that brings me close to tears. Please help.

Replies

  • Markguns
    Markguns Posts: 554 Member
    You are 18 no way your metabolic rate is slowing down and you are gaining a lot of weight unless you sit on your butt all day. Start exercising, cardio and strength training. You will feel better after 30 mins of elevated heart rate 4 -6 times a week. Oh and the only way to get toned is to exercise!
  • Eve_e
    Eve_e Posts: 57
    I do exercise.
  • Eve_e
    Eve_e Posts: 57
    Any advice...Anything...I had another binge today.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,425 MFP Moderator
    Honestly you should probably work on adding muscle. At 100 lbs you are borderline underweight. When you add muscle you will also increase your metabolic rate and tdee. Even adding 5 to 10 lbs through progressive lifting will give you a much more toned look.

    If you have binge problems, then going to a doctor should be your first step. If its not an unhealthy relationship with food, then its probably because you overly restrict calories.
  • Bagelsan
    Bagelsan Posts: 49
    Be careful not to skimp on nutrients -- just because you're getting enough calories doesn't mean you're getting enough iron, calcium, etc. to grow well, and your body could be rebelling against too-strict dieting because it needs more healthy food. I second the recommendation to see a doctor and get a professional involved so that you can maintain some perspective and do everything safely.

    And heck, maybe you're still growing, so you feel hungry due to that! Feeling hungry is not a moral failing, and eating over your goal sometimes isn't the end of the world -- don't punish yourself for it, just try to figure out a better way to get fit without being miserable.
  • Eve_e
    Eve_e Posts: 57
    Honestly you should probably work on adding muscle. At 100 lbs you are borderline underweight. When you add muscle you will also increase your metabolic rate and tdee. Even adding 5 to 10 lbs through progressive lifting will give you a much more toned look.

    If you have binge problems, then going to a doctor should be your first step. If its not an unhealthy relationship with food, then its probably because you overly restrict calories.

    I'm not 100 lbs. anymore, 106 lbs. now, although 100 lbs. is not unhealthy for a girl my height. Thank you very much for your advice, though.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,425 MFP Moderator
    http://usmilitary.about.com/od/army/l/blweightfemale.htm

    Even 106 is very low. I know what I am telling you is what you wont want to hear but your problem is the same exact issue that I have helped solved for tons of underweight or close to underweight women in this board. There are two issues that people have when they are not happy with their results or bodies; high body fat or poor body composition. I have seen some women succeed with as little as 5 lbs of added mass. Cutting below or to being underweight wont help. I am not trying to be rude by any means but suggesting a path that many others have utilize to get there. This is something to consider. I wish you the best.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    You are too young to be messing your body around. You could, in deciding that your perfectly healthy weight is too much, ensure you have a lifetime of binge-restrict cycles, coupled with eventual issues keeping your weight down. you cannot expect, at 18, to be the same weight you were as a younger teen! You are becoming an adult, your body changes when this happens and what you are doing is going against nature, which is why you are getting these issues with binge eating.

    For goodness sakes, just accept your weight as it is, keep an eye on it, by all means educate yourself on healthy eating and what nutrients you should be getting for optimal health, but stop trying to force your body back to a weight it clearly does not wish to be! And weight training would improve things dramatically, I am fairly sure, as it would tighten everything up, give you a bit more muscle, and in so doing, ensure that any excess you do eat, is more likely to be utilised rather than become weight gain or fat. The scale is just a damn number that no-one but you cares much about. It is how you look that people will notice, and losing 6 Ibs is not going to make the slightest difference to that.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    http://usmilitary.about.com/od/army/l/blweightfemale.htm

    Even 106 is very low. I know what I am telling you is what you wont want to hear but your problem is the same exact issue that I have helped solved for tons of underweight or close to underweight women in this board. There are two issues that people have when they are not happy with their results or bodies; high body fat or poor body composition. I have seen some women succeed with as little as 5 lbs of added mass. Cutting below or to being underweight wont help. I am not trying to be rude by any means but suggesting a path that many others have utilize to get there. This is something to consider. I wish you the best.

    :drinker:
  • RamonaFr
    RamonaFr Posts: 112
    My brother-in-law has always been trim and has always eaten 4000-5000 calories a day. How? He rode his bike 20 to 40 miles a day, and never gave a thought to what he was eating.

    At your age, with your current weight, I think you just need some truly vigorous exercise. Something fun with a group -- ride a bike, dance for hours, run run run.

    I get it that for a tiny person a 6-pound weight gain could be too much. So, turn it all into serious muscle!

    Or tell me to mind my own business -- that's the thing with giving advice to total strangers online -- I could be really wrong since I don't know you.
  • Eve_e
    Eve_e Posts: 57
    Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input.
    I know a lot of my problem is body composition, but I could use a few less pounds of fat, even though I recognize they're vanity pounds.
  • silken555
    silken555 Posts: 478 Member
    Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input.
    I know a lot of my problem is body composition, but I could use a few less pounds of fat, even though I recognize they're vanity pounds.

    That would be solved by body recompotition.
  • Dnarules
    Dnarules Posts: 2,081 Member
    Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input.
    I know a lot of my problem is body composition, but I could use a few less pounds of fat, even though I recognize they're vanity pounds.

    You've gotten good advice, but you're not listening. You DO NOT need to lose weight. Your goal should be to eat at or just below maintenance, and strength train.
  • Linnaea27
    Linnaea27 Posts: 639 Member
    I'm a few years older than you-- 26-- and I'm also 5'1". At 18, I was somewhere around 105-110, and 105 was me at my thinnest since having grown to my final adult height. I think 106 is a totally reasonable place for you to be, if not a little heavier! I'd be worried about myself if I weighed less than 105. . . I think you are having trouble with negative thinking about food/body image. Please try not to!

    I'm presently at 111 lbs and am working on weight training to get nicer muscles. I don't care if I weigh 105 or 115 or more as long as I have nice muscle definition and less of a fat layer covering my abs and on my arms.

    It sounds like some good hard exercise, plus eating as much healthy, whole food as you want on exercise days, would do you good and help you develop some muscle and perhaps grow some more-- very few people are done growing height-wise at 18, so you're still needing to eat to fuel getting taller perhaps!

    What is your activity setting on here? If you've put "sedentary" because you're in school/have a desk job, I'd suggest upping it to at least "lightly active." You'll be able to eat more and hopefully not be so worried about those calorie numbers. I have a desk job and I have my settings at "lightly active" and have lost weight fairly quickly using MFP that way.

    I hear you about wanting to lose a few vanity pounds-- that's me at this point too! It's healthier and perhaps more effective, judging from lots and lots of stories I've seen on here, to exercise a lot (including a good amount of training with weights to develop nice muscles) and eat more.
  • Linnaea27
    Linnaea27 Posts: 639 Member
    Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input.
    I know a lot of my problem is body composition, but I could use a few less pounds of fat, even though I recognize they're vanity pounds.

    That would be solved by body recompotition.

    Yes, agreed.
  • GiveItAll92
    GiveItAll92 Posts: 26 Member
    As a fellow vertically challenged person I can sympathize with feeling like you have to be a certain weight. I am 5'0 and have weighed between 98lbs and 126lbs the past 4years. When I look online I'm told my weight range is 94-129lbs to be considered healthy. The funny thing is when I was at my lowest it wasn't good enough and I still didn't feel good about my body. I now weigh 119lbs and this has been one of the hardest things to wrap my head around and to accept. I do want to tone up and go down a pant size but I also recognize that I have muscle now...muscle that I have worked hard for and my body looks a lot better than it used to because of it. Weight is something you can go by but my suggestion is to THROW AWAY THE SCALE. Come up with a food and exercise plan. Follow it. In a month or two weigh yourself, be sure to note what you notice in changes before you weigh yourself. If you can't stop weighing and if you are really upset about 6lbs I recommend speaking to a professional. I mean all of this in the nicest most sincere way and I wish you the best of luck.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,425 MFP Moderator
    Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input.
    I know a lot of my problem is body composition, but I could use a few less pounds of fat, even though I recognize they're vanity pounds.

    IMO, the issue isn't vanity lbs, it's your mentality. Keep in mind that you will gain and lose 5-10 lbs a day.. It's natural fluctuation. This is why we suggest its composition issues, not weight. Below is what i have been preaching. Look at Staci from 120 to 130 lbs. Notice the difference. If you don't get past the number on the scale, then you may not achieve your goal. Honestly, set your account to maintain, lift some heavy weights and you will see results over time.


    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input.
    I know a lot of my problem is body composition, but I could use a few less pounds of fat, even though I recognize they're vanity pounds.

    That would be solved by body recompotition.

    Exactly - which would be solved by picking up a barbell. Read psulemon's link.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input.
    I know a lot of my problem is body composition, but I could use a few less pounds of fat, even though I recognize they're vanity pounds.

    IMO, the issue isn't vanity lbs, it's your mentality. Keep in mind that you will gain and lose 5-10 lbs a day.. It's natural fluctuation. This is why we suggest its composition issues, not weight. Below is what i have been preaching. Look at Staci from 120 to 130 lbs. Notice the difference. If you don't get past the number on the scale, then you may not achieve your goal. Honestly, set your account to maintain, lift some heavy weights and you will see results over time.


    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    100% this!!!!
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
    I would try my hardest not to stress about calories too much, as it makes it even worse.

    Why don't you give yourself a break from logging on here for a week, and just eat 3 good meals a day with healthy snacks - Cant really put on weight can you?

    Maybe the whole calorie thing, logging, binging etc is getting too much for your head.

    As your so small anyway - And you don't NEED to lose weight, I would personally up your protein, and start lifting some weights, doing the weights class - Your probably lose inches but maybe the scale will be the same, but your tone everything up?

    How does that sound?

    Stressing out makes everything worse.... Your young... Enjoy food..........In moderation : ) xx
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
    Honestly you should probably work on adding muscle. At 100 lbs you are borderline underweight. When you add muscle you will also increase your metabolic rate and tdee. Even adding 5 to 10 lbs through progressive lifting will give you a much more toned look.

    If you have binge problems, then going to a doctor should be your first step. If its not an unhealthy relationship with food, then its probably because you overly restrict calories.

    I'm not 100 lbs. anymore, 106 lbs. now, although 100 lbs. is not unhealthy for a girl my height. Thank you very much for your advice, though.

    Eve, PSUlemon has helped 1000's of people realize their goals and potential.
    I'd take his advice.

    I'll paint you a picture of your 6th and 7th decade if you don't add muscle mass at some point in your life: www.thescooterstore.com
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    eat at about maintenance + heavy lifting = where you want to be …

    pickup starting strength and/or new rules of lifting for woman and then build a program around heavy lifting with compound movements..

    Also, re-examine how you view yourself and your views on "fat"…106 pounds is not fat and you do not need to lose more weight. If anything you may be "skinny-fat", and if you are the heavy lifting program and eating at just about maintenance level will clean that up ...
  • thatpixichick
    thatpixichick Posts: 77 Member
    I lost a bunch of weight a few years ago in a massively short amount of time. I got below 100lbs, which is horribly underweight on my 5'5" frame, and guess what? I still had excess fat because all that had happened was my body ate away all my muscles and left me "skinny fat". I'm around 118lbs now and my arms and waist are smaller and tighter all thanks to the wonder of weights :heart: I would really recommend weightlifting to any woman who feels their body never looks "right" no matter how thin they get, because usually it's bodyfat% and a lack of muscle that's causing the issue.
  • Eve_e
    Eve_e Posts: 57
    Thank you.
    Is body composition supposed to help the fat around my face? I know lifting weights can do wonders, but I question whether or not it can get rid of chubby cheeks and a double chin.
    I've tried lifting, doing research online beforehand, but I never feel like I'm doing it right. I wish I could get a professional to teach me, but I can't afford it.
  • thatpixichick
    thatpixichick Posts: 77 Member
    I don't think it'd help with facial fat, but I'm not an expert..

    Just get some little 10lb or 5lb weights at first and see how you go. I really like this video from Tiffany Roathe (in fact all her stuff is great) http://youtu.be/Lsj-Q7oNcEA It was my first experience of lifting weights of any kind and oh my god, did it burn!
  • corgarian
    corgarian Posts: 366 Member
    Thank you.
    Is body composition supposed to help the fat around my face? I know lifting weights can do wonders, but I question whether or not it can get rid of chubby cheeks and a double chin.
    /sigh you are so 18. YES IT WILL HELP YOUR FACE!
    Ok I'm going to try to say what they have been saying but in different words.
    Buy a measuring tape, measure yourself every friday BEFORE you work out. DO WEIGHT TRAINING! In a couple weeks you will notice something. Even if your scale hasnt changed (or maybe it has up or down doesnt matter) your measurements will go DOWN. When you build muscle you may "gain" pounds, but your body is reshaping itself and eating your fat at the same time. The number on the scale DOES NOT MATTER so long as youre eating properly and working out. Those measurements will be all the proof you need.
    Ive been weight training now for going on 3 months. That first month I was so mad because my scale wasnt moving, but then I noticed my measurements were chaning weekly! My face was the FIRST thing to slim down. We cant target what part of our body the fat comes off of, but if you keep it up, you will lose that fat even if the scale stays 106.
    Take some before pictures and in a month take some more, I bet if you stick to it and STOP GIVING EXCUSES, the pictures will look different.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,425 MFP Moderator
    Thank you.
    Is body composition supposed to help the fat around my face? I know lifting weights can do wonders, but I question whether or not it can get rid of chubby cheeks and a double chin.
    I've tried lifting, doing research online beforehand, but I never feel like I'm doing it right. I wish I could get a professional to teach me, but I can't afford it.

    When you recomp, you will lower your body fat and may have small muscle gains. Looking at your photo I wouldn't say you have any fat around your face. You also have to keep in mind that you will always be your worst critic. Add in the fact that you had an ED and it's multiplied exponentially. No one here can help with the self image issues you will need to get past. That is something only a qualified doctor/therapist can do.

    In terms of lifting programs, I would suggest picking up the book "the new rules of lifting for women". It will teach you about nutrition and give you a foundation for weight lifting.

    Also, if you haven't read the link i posted, I would study it. At 18 you have to understand you are still growing so gaining weight will be normal. At this point, your goal should be to improve your health, which may include increasing your body weight. As I demonstrated, gaining muscle can make you look more lean.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    Thank you.
    Is body composition supposed to help the fat around my face? I know lifting weights can do wonders, but I question whether or not it can get rid of chubby cheeks and a double chin.
    I've tried lifting, doing research online beforehand, but I never feel like I'm doing it right. I wish I could get a professional to teach me, but I can't afford it.

    You don't have chubby cheeks or a double chin at 106 lbs. And lifting and body recomp will move body fat around and make your muscle look better, yes. Your face looks rounded because you are young, that's perfectly natural for someone your age. Mine did too when I was 18.
  • lemonsnowdrop
    lemonsnowdrop Posts: 1,298 Member
    I'm 5'1 and my goal is 120. Don't be too hard on yourself. BMI is essentially crap.
  • loubidy
    loubidy Posts: 440 Member
    What you want is conflicting. If you want to be more toned you need to gain muscle, muscle weighs more than fat therefore you may gain weight thus not getting down to 100lbs.

    I suggest you get you BFP properly measured and set your goal to lowering it through weightlifting rather than lowering the number on a regular scale.

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