start stop start stop getting tired!

yellowmirror
yellowmirror Posts: 26
in Introduce Yourself
Well the title says it all. I start cutting calories and exercising, then I'll lose weight, and completely ruin things and overeat for days, a week or 2 and then cry because what I lost over a month was packed back on in a week. I feel and look disgusting right now. I have at least 60 lbs to lose. I know how to lose it since I did this one time in my life! What I am having trouble doing is sticking with it. I am not a stupid person, but telling me to cut calories and move more just doesn't seem to matter when I'm overeating to the point of pain. I get so overstuffed I am in pain.

There is no certain trigger that sets me off. It just happens. I know all the things to do, I can rationalize instead of eating, do this.. instead of complaining do that.. but I can't get it in motion.

I am just a fat slob, 211 lbs and 5'4". I can't even wear regular pants anymore (the kind with a zipper and button) because by the time i find a pair that will button and zip the rest of the pants are too long and baggy that it doesn't look right. So I wear those stupid stretch / yoga pants that probably look good on fit women but def not on me.

I blame hormones, kids, family issues, childhood issues, but really.. it's me. I see plenty of other women who go through what I go through, who have more children than I do, who have less free hours in the day than I do and they keep themselves in great shape.
I got myself a treadmill a few weeks ago, it sits in my bedroom unused. ugh.

*edit to add
I can't afford counseling I know this was suggested once before, but I have to pay out of pocket a set amount before ins kicks in and it's just too much so that's not an option, unfortunately. :(

Replies

  • Blokeypoo
    Blokeypoo Posts: 274 Member
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Mindful-Way-Through-Depression/dp/1593851286

    This sorted me out THEN I lost the wt. I used it for negative thinking pattern management not depression. The reviews say it all.
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
    You have to really want this. More than you want the momentary gratification that many of us get from (over) indulging in food.
    It is very hard, but you know what? We are all worth it.
    You can do this!
    I honestly don't know what it was this time (out of the many, many, many times before this) that got me through. A lot of the reason for me was this web site and so many people here that are supportive and encouraging. It truly helps to know that others know exactly what you are going through and feeling.

    You are worth it and you can do this!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    there IS a trigger... you just need to identify it... most of the time people over eat and/or binge because they are eating their feelings.

    figure that out, and 'eat less, move more' becomes a lot easier as you're not fighing against yourself all the time.

    good luck!
  • phoebejeeby
    phoebejeeby Posts: 62 Member
    I don't know what your diet or exercise routine is....but maybe you are trying to do too much at once, so that you can't stick to it for long. Try easing into it slower, to form it into a way of life rather than a diet/exercise routine. Try reducing your cals a little and adding in exercise a few days a week. Once you get comfortable and used to this then you can increase if you feel like it. Don't set your goals so high. It has taken me over 2 years to lose 70 lbs...which would have sounded like a long time to me before i started. But i dont regret taking my time. I was able to stick with it this time after failing many times, because I was trying to accomplish my goals to quickly. Also, never let a week or even a month off be an excuse to quit. It happens to us all. Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't try and kill it every day. If you set smaller goals you will feel successful, instead of guilty because you failed. Success is a great feeling that will help you go further than you ever thought you could.
  • nomoreyoyo67
    nomoreyoyo67 Posts: 59
    Your story sounds like mine! Feel free to add me and we can help each other:)
  • BigTireFlipper
    BigTireFlipper Posts: 116 Member
    My uninformed suggestions would be:
    - Try getting one of your local friends to go on this journey with you. Helping each other stay motivated is a good thing.
    - Surround yourself with a cadre of positive motivators on here.
    - Open your diary to be readable by your friends. If you know people are going to be looking at it you're more likely to try to stick with the plan. Don't cheat and not log something. If you have a bad day own up to it and log the cals.

    Hope there's something in there that helps you. Like others have said, you really have to want it in order to stick with it. Friends can be the shoulder to lean on when you're tired and feel like quitting.
  • luvclay10
    luvclay10 Posts: 26 Member
    your not alone and have narrowed in on you own sabotage. i have a friend who found the answers in Over Eaters Anonymous. maybe you need to pay them a visit and just listen
  • elodea
    elodea Posts: 19 Member
    Your story is my story! I just turned 52 Wednesday and told myself I will TRY again for my birthday gift to myself. Logging back onto this site is my first step. Feel free to add me and maybe we can help each other along. We can do this because I see how other folks have been able to do it :)!
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    Just my story...

    December 2012, 50yo, 5'4" weighing 232. Looked a pics of my recent wedding and thought "wow, my husband deserves something more. Hell, I deserve something more".

    I started walking and counting calories. And I didn't stop. Not everyday was perfect. At times I went weeks without any downward movement on the scale. But I continued to eat at a 20% deficit and exercise several times a week (walking and lifting).

    Today I weight 195.4, (38lb lost) have lost inches in my thighs, hips, waist, went from size 22L strentch pull on jeans to size 16 jeans. I have awesome calves and my quads and glutes are catching up. I can walk for miles at a nice pace (3.8mph). I feel fitter, stronger and happier. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm closer than I was 15 months ago. And I'm closer than I would be if I gave up.

    If I can so this, you can do this.

    Just stop stopping.

    ETA: Consistent physical activity is known to combat depression.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I agree with a lot of the comments/advice given already:

    There IS a trigger - it may even be a combination of things - you just haven't put your thumb on it yet or are in denial about how certain feelings, situations, etc affect you.

    If I had to guess, I'd say you're probably being too restrictive with calorie and pushing yourself too hard with exercise so that's why you only last a bit before you cave in and eat more and rest. This is very common, happened to me too! Instead of trying to change everyting at once, make small changes in your diet every week or two and increase activity gradually. Also allow yourself some treats now and then so you're not obsessing over all these things you can't have and it drives you so batty you just say "F it, I'd rather eat pizza and chocolate and be fat". Guess what? I eat chocolate and pizza about once every week or two and I'm still losing weight. It's not all or nothing, you just have to find the right balance.

    That makes it sounds simple and easy but trust me, it's not. Like any other bad habit, it takes time and some trial and error. Be as mindful of your choices as possible. Logging helps a lot with that. So does planning meals.

    And finally, just because you make a bad choice, it doesn't mean you give up on your diet. It doesn't even mean you give up on your diet for the day. Say someone brings donuts or cake to work and you just can't so no. No big deal, one piece isn't going to put you THAT far over goal for the day so it's no reason to just throw in the towel. Log it, accept it and move on.

    You CAN do this!
  • Mbettencourt
    Mbettencourt Posts: 3 Member
    Well Dear, this sounds like a common struggle for many of us. You are not alone! I have struggled with depression and obesity for many years. I do not have all the years experience as many on here, but I have struggled plenty. I have had suicide attempts, and felt like there was nothing left. I have struggled with my weight. I used to be average, and then was diagnosed with Cushing's Syndrome and blew up like a balloon! I have stretch marks ALL over! At one point I was getting so large that I had them on my third chin. I have started counseling because I deserve happiness, and my family deserves to have a happy mom and wife. I have found that if I slip on my anti-depressant, I slip on my weight loss. This morning is a prime example of the effect that depression can have on your energy. I slept instead of getting up and going to the gym. The most important thing that has helped me is my relationship with God. I do not mean to sound cheesy, but, my relationship with him will help me from the small things to the large. The next most helpful thing, is getting my butt to excercise. If you cannot afford therapy, or anti-depressants (yes, I've been that low), the natural endorfins from burning fat, will bring you to a more happy level. Good luck with your journey! Feel free to add me.
  • arice0127
    arice0127 Posts: 4 Member
    A lot of good thoughts and advice here from everyone! I don't have much to add, but I had a similar situation and have a lot to loose, but at the same time a lot to gain - my life! Feel free to add me and we can support each other. It helps- you're not alone by any means. We can do this!! =]
  • Leopardfish1
    Leopardfish1 Posts: 18 Member
    Sorry to hear of your frustrations. I've been in and out of the gym myself; Recently for two years and now back in there and dealing with the soreness, weak cardio and respiratory ability and just lookin' bad in my clothes...blah.

    The most basic advice I can give is KEEP TRYING. Don't give up! Your health IS actually better because you are exercising even if it is like a yo-yo. Any exercise at all is good so keep that in mind no matter how your look or feel about it. Personal goals are a different matter of course and that also will benefit from not giving up on your efforts. Eventually you WILL succeed if you persevere! Add me to your friends if you want to and best wishes for your success!

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