Parents: If you could do one thing better...

MireyGal76
MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
in Chit-Chat
There was another post about what we'd say to our parents if we could go back, and it was kinda (ok really) sad for me to read some of the stories and lessons learned.

But it caused me to think, and that is SOMETIMES a good thing...

If my kids were to come back to me, as adults... what would they tell me?
If I could change something about what I'm doing now... what would it be?


For me...
1) Put the phone down and interact more. Even me taking videos and pics of them playing prevents me from ACTUALLY playing with them. I need to remember that they are little for such a short time, and they WANT me to play with them. There will come a time where they may not want that so much, and THEN I can do those less important things

2) If I have energy to bust my *kitten* at the gym, I have no excuse to tell my kids I'm too tired. And if my going to the gym makes me too tired to play with my kids, then I need to re-evaluate that too.

how about you?

Replies

  • Will_Thrust_For_Candy
    Will_Thrust_For_Candy Posts: 6,109 Member
    Great topic!

    1. Be more patient.
    2. Pay closer attention....sometimes there is just so much going on that I find myself half listening.....not totally present, if you know what I mean.
  • csman49
    csman49 Posts: 1,100 Member
    Make sure she remembered to take her pill
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    Spend less time researching on things to do and more time doing them.

    Worry less.

    When my son was diagnosed with autism, not spend the first year mourning him as if he was gone.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Be more of a parent than a friend.
  • boberrymom
    boberrymom Posts: 361 Member
    I don't know if I would tell my mom any different. She is the one that I had the most issues with, I think because we are so much alike. My mom kicked me out when I was 16 and I got pregnant at 17, had my baby at 18 and raised a family from then on while trying to survive. Everything that I have gone through in my life from that time made me who I am and I am a pretty damn good person I think lol. I didn't turn out so bad, I have a loving husband, 4 wonderful kids, a beautiful house, so much work experience, I'm able to go to university, something none of my family has ever done. I am who I am because of her even if we didn't agree much of the time growing up because she forced me to learn the life lessons that I did. Our relationship is so much stronger now because of it.
    I learnt from my mom the things that I do differently with my kids. So while I may not have liked the things that she did or didn't do while I was growing, its made me the parent I am now.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Don't argue with my husband about rotten peppers in the fridge or underwear on the floor in front of the kids. So stupid and not worth it!
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I think i regret all the time i spend worrying about crap and not actually focused on being present with him.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    I would understand the true joy of raising a child. Sometimes too much life gets in the way.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    I'd win a lottery, so I could spend more time with him, and get him into the best schools, and best lacrosse teams.
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
    Stop telling Harry to stop jumping off things and start joining him.
  • Bmontgomery613
    Bmontgomery613 Posts: 200 Member
    Great topic!

    1. Be more patient.
    2. Pay closer attention....sometimes there is just so much going on that I find myself half listening.....not totally present, if you know what I mean.

    I like this! Also, I'd take more time for me when they're babies without feeling guilty for it.
  • Dedicatedmetime
    Dedicatedmetime Posts: 32 Member
    Love this topic!

    Worry less and enjoy the moment!
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
    If I could go back in time, I would home school all 3 of my kids.
  • lookinggoodkel
    lookinggoodkel Posts: 1,235 Member
    stop stressing about everything and enjoy life to the fullest while we are young
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    So far, I wouldn't change much at all.

    I could use my phone less, but I still think my boys get a good slice of me. My DH and I often marvel at how much our older son still thinks we're great.

    If giving my son higher fibre food would have prevented his rectal prolapses, I'd have done that.
  • JenniCali1000
    JenniCali1000 Posts: 646 Member
    Stop telling Harry to stop jumping off things and start joining him.

    This!!! :)
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    Try not to stress about everything because it stress's her out, be better organised
  • avasano
    avasano Posts: 487 Member
    Let them be kids.

    I have a very responsible kids. This is the result of trying to raise a functioning adults. I was an instructor of college age adults and so many of them fail at so much in life, due to their parents coddling. I always try and teach my kids to be a grown up, so I failed at letting them just be kids. On the bright side, my kids tell me everything and anything as they value my opinions when they make choices. My kids friends do not value their parents opinions because they feel like their parents don't understand that they are growing up. I do wish I would have spent more time finger painting and play in forts and eating with our hands... I guess one day I will have grand kids to spoil.
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
    Be more of a parent than a friend.

    At least you realize this. This is the biggest problem these days it seems and i can see why it happens as you don't want to be the badguy.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    I am not sure what my kids would say to me, but I would say a few things to myself:

    Being unhappily married is NOT better for your kids
    Money is not better than being happy.

    They do NOT need to be busy every moment of the week.

    And the number one, do it if I could now thing would be FOOD. I would NEVER reward them with food. Would keep apples, oranges and pears on the table instead of cookies, candies and chips. They will eat what you give them. Water bottles in the fridge go just as fast as coke bottles, if that is what they are taught.

    I didn't know. I forgive myself. But man, I wish I knew!
  • Newmefor40
    Newmefor40 Posts: 10
    I would've soaked up every minute while they were small and not spent so much time worrying about things I couldn't change. I would've sat down and held them in my arms for hours.
  • kborton1122
    kborton1122 Posts: 914 Member
    I would have been more strict and set more boundaries. She's turned out pretty good, so we didn't do too bad. She just needs more motivation and drive.

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