Help! I can't do this :(

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  • susie3g
    susie3g Posts: 267
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    I'm not a fan of any plan that eliminates food groups. Any changes you make need to be something you can live with for the rest of your life. The reason why we tend to yo-yo diet is that we eliminate foods, and then when the diet is over, we add those same foods back in that helped us get fat in the first place. I have a daily calorie goal. Anything that fits within that goal is OK. I do focus on my macro and micro-nutrients, but beyond that I can eat what I want. Over the holidays I planned my day and exercise to allow a special dessert most days. Last weekend I planned for some pizza. I believe we invest forbidden foods with extra power that creates cravings.

    Slow and steady is the way to win this race. Rather than drastically cutting your calories, eat at a moderate deficit. If you decide you want to go lower, reduce your calories gradually. Logging everything you eat is very important. Measure with a scale whenever possible. You need to be as accurate as possible on tracking the calories you consume.

    Don't just focus on the calories in side of the equation. Figure out a way to incorporate exercise into your routine. Believe me, as large as I am I can make a walk into an aerobic workout. Start small and work your way up to at least 30 minutes per day. Also, you can make yourself move more by parking further away from the store or walking up stairs in buildings.

    I firmly believe in taking the journey one day at a time. I get up each morning with two goals:
    1) eat under my calorie goal for the day
    2) exercise at least 30 minutes each day

    I know if I do those two things I will be healthier and the weight will also come off. You can do this too, but you have to have a plan and stick to it.

    This
  • isobelo46
    isobelo46 Posts: 9 Member
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    Keep at it .it does work@you know it.The members are here for you @we are all trying.we want you to succeed as wealldo. x
  • christinemadden0223
    christinemadden0223 Posts: 175 Member
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    I didn't read everyone's responses, so this may be a repeat, but what works BEST for me and keeps me from feeling deprived is cooking my own food. I get cravings for burgers and pizza and pasta, so I have them, I just make them myself and use smarter ingredients.
    Example: I want a cheeseburger for lunch today. I could order from a restaurant or fast food and get something that's over 500 cals and loaded with fat and sodium
    OR
    I can weight out 4oz leaner ground meat (I use 93) cook it in a skillet with a little sea salt and pepper, use a piece of "thin cheese" (I like cheddar) and slap on a piece of turkey bacon- load it on a whole wheat bun and enjoy! More fiber, less fat, plenty of taste...
    I usually make a salad on the size so i get some veggies and I snack on carrots and snap peas when I'm eating out of boredom so I get my veggies =)
    If I had time to make fries at lunch too I would preheat my oven to 400, skin and cut up a whole potato, spray the pan, spray the potato slices, add some seasonings (mix it up, it's fun) and bake for 10-15 minutes. Boom. Way healthier.
    Good luck!
    Same goes for all other foods and desserts.
    Also, watch the condiments.
  • katiemegcz
    katiemegcz Posts: 49 Member
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    You will most likely get a lot of different suggestions. Here is the first one from an old lady who has done this many many times with the same result (gained it back + ).
    First don't cut anything from your life except extra calories.
    Second don't set yourself too low calories -- feeling hungry only leads to being hangry which can result in over eating (states the queen of over-eating while hangry).
    Third - move just find a way to add (at first) an extra 20 or 30 minutes a day of extra moving, just walking is a good start
    Fourth - LOG EVERYTHING - E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
    Fifth - get yourself a core group of MFP cheerleaders and be a good cheerleader too.

    I want you to succeed, just make sure you figure out what is best for you. There I am done.
    Joanne

    ^^This. Make lifestyle changes that you can live with forever. A "diet" works fast then doesn't work anymore because you cannot live with it. Yo put back on the weight and then some. I've been there when there is something coming up and you want to lose it fast. But your parents will love you no matter what.

    Figure out what your deficit needs to be, and plan you day ahead of time to make sure you have everything to make the meals that will meet your calorie goals and do not have to "run out to pick up" anything when hungry. If you love a food, eat it, just eat less of it. The more you deprive yourself, the more you will binge. I know this from experience. Have a few go-to snacks handy like berries or almonds or anything that won't eat up all your calories that you can have in a pinch. Reward yourself when you hit a goal, but not with food. A mani-pedi or a massage or something indulgent but not caloric.

    It also helps me as I prepare my meals to think of what each calorie will do FOR me. I know that a calorie is a calorie as far as weight loss goes, but last time I did this, it was all prepared and diet foods, and I got progressively less healthy while losing weight. headaches, cravings, etc. When you feel awful you want to eat. When you feel great you want to be active. So this time I try to make most of my calories in some way improve my health, without giving up taste or things I love.

    You CAN do this.
  • I understand where you are coming from. I have tried extreme restrictions before. Just the thought of saying "I'll never have pasta ever again" is enough to haunt you to the point where at one moment of weakness you binge on pasta thinking, "Now THIS is the last time I'll ever eat pasta again!" If I think more about all the good foods I can put in my mouth rather than all the things I cannot, I find I'm less inclined to eat the bad. Experiment with recipes and learn to like good foods. I am so far from being a cook, but I force myself to tryout a new recipe each week. If it is a success, I keep it as a food I know I like and that I won't feel guilty eating. I used to roll my eyes at friends who make posts about "I just had cottage cheese, quinoa, and black beans" because I thought I'd never be one of those people. I gave those foods a try. I still don't like them, but along the way I learned to enjoy salsa, and squash. I also stopped my secret snacking. I would eat so healthy at work because I felt others were judging what I ate. Then I'd eat chocolate in the car and hide the evidence. I realized that I need to be accountable for myself and that the only one I was harming by my deceit was me. Every day is a struggle. Every day I have to try my best. Listen to what the others are posting. There really is a lot of good advice here. Feel free to "friend" me.
  • wairam
    wairam Posts: 3
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    I hope I can help. I lost 125 lbs when I was 15 in 5 1/2 months. I've helped several people lose over 100 lbs now, so I think I can provide some pretty good advice. Before you can make a serious change, you need to really understand your own motivation. In order to succeed, you have to have motives that will pick you up when you fall and keep you going for the long run. Start asking yourself why you want to do this. Your family coming to see you is a pretty good motive, but in order to truly succeed, you're going to need one that is more important to you. When I started, I told myself I wanted to just be able to fit into a decent looking pair of jeans, but the truth was, what I wanted was far more important than that. I wanted success, or at least, to feel successful. I wanted to be confident, more social, and be able to live a normal life. What I wanted, and where I was seemed light years apart, and it was very painful to accept that, but I had to in order to really get motivated. You have the power to change, and you have the will to succeed.
  • WyeGuy
    WyeGuy Posts: 13 Member
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    If we can lose just 1 pound a week, a year later that's AMAZING progress. I didn't gain all this weight in a year. So I figure if I make reasonable goals, the gradual change will give me a much better chance of gradually changing habits. It won't be so overwhelming to see the mountain if I just focus on one step, one day at a time.There will be ups & downs, but when isn't there? We're still kickin, and we can do it. You've already proven that before. Let's just focus on making today today a good day, and then go from here.
  • sue_langley
    sue_langley Posts: 63 Member
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    I eat what I enjoy that is healthy and while i'm preparing each of my meals I nibble on 200 grams of organic celery, organic tastes better to me and super low calories for large amount. Seems to be working for me. I too was never full before. Keep trying different things that are suggested since variety is important to me to keep doing this.
  • jellybeanhed313
    jellybeanhed313 Posts: 344 Member
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    Girl, it IS possible! You can do it. It will probably be the hardest thing you've done in your life, but trust me, its worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!! :) I love food so much too and I struggle with that every day. You just have to ask yourself when you start to eat something "is this going to make me happy now AND later?" If the answer is "no" then put down the food and make a better choice. Its all those little choices that add up to big and lasting weight loss. You don't have to cut all that stuff out, but you can if you want to or you think you may have a sensitivity to it.
  • TArnold2012
    TArnold2012 Posts: 929 Member
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    If you want it you can do it. Will it be easy? No

    You have to decide do you want to live to eat or eat to live. When you decide to eat to live start making little changes, when they become habits then add more changes. When I started all I concentrated on calories being under my dailies. Next read, read, read, and do more reading. EDUCATE yourself about what you are eating and watch how your body reacts. Next I began watching sodium. As it got easier I began watching proteins and carbs. Next I began watching processed foods and clean eating. When I had an over day I got right back on the path. Finally last Christmas I purchased a fitbit and have now added exercise to each days routine.

    If you slip up start again with the next bite, meal, day. Reflect on what made you make the bad choice, learn from it, and how to change it in the future. I won't lie or sugar coat things. It won't be easy, just take the first step and don't look back.
  • lyzmorrison
    lyzmorrison Posts: 172 Member
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    How badly do you want it?

    If you really and truly want it, then you will do it and will motivate yourself. No one on here can motivate you. You can read the success stories for inspiration, but your motivation has to come from within.

    I did it because I wanted it. I maintain it now because I want to. That's all there is to it.
  • mahshidk
    mahshidk Posts: 10 Member
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    I have a same problem with being hungry all the time. After years of blaming myself for it, I found out last year that I have PCOS which makes me hungry. I am also an emotional eater. I recommend ask your doctor to test you for this syndrome because they give you medication that helps to decrease appetite and lose weight. My life would have been so much easier if one of the doctors during past 20 years realized I have this syndrome.
  • Benefitss
    Benefitss Posts: 28
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    this is the best advice you are going to get here!:happy:
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    yes you can. a person without eyes, fingers or arms can't do it, but you can. We all can. It's about little steps, a little will power and the desire to do it becasue you truly want to.

    sometimes you have to go it alone. sometimes you are lucky and have people who want to do it with you. the only thing I can say with certainty is that if you exercise regularly, and I'm talking at least a 1/2 hour a day where you sweat or 4-5 times a week where you sweat and it hurts your muscles, then you will have to wait 10 weeks or so to see any results.

    the food thing is all in our minds. once you start eliminating the garbage, and we all know what we are eating, then the magis starts to happen.

    It's 100% watching what you eat and 100% exercise. It won't work any other way. go to fitnessblender.com and watch the videos. it's free.
  • happybecause
    happybecause Posts: 8 Member
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    I am a compuslive eater myself. Food and I have a love hate relationship. I love to eat, I love food, especially sweets. I am embarrassed by my eating habits.

    I finally decided that it's time to treat my food-love as an addiction. I'm attending OA meetings now. Maybe look into OA in your neighborhood, it's a great program. More a lifestyle/change than a diet, if you know what I mean. It's a process, and I'm only just beginning.
  • becs3578
    becs3578 Posts: 836 Member
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    I didn;t "stick with it" until I joined Crossfit... I needed other people around me (just part of the time.. because someone I like to be a hermit)... But after 1 year at crossfit I lost 30 lbs and kept it off... Now trying to lose abother 10 .
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    Oh, and I forgot one thing. Sugar!!!!

    So many things have added sugar. AND the sugar in fruit counts too. I used to think it didn't but it does. Try to find out how many calories you need to survive while losing and watch the sugar grams. The gentleman above mentioned the NutriBullet and I have one too. They are great, but watch the "sweet" fruits.

    After a while it will become second nature.

    Also, don't lose weight for your parents. I can just imagine it....parents always getting on your case about yout weight all your life and you eat more in response to it. It has to be for you; not for your parents, boyfriend, girlfriends, job, or to keep up with the Kardasians (haha, just kidding).

    YOu can do it. you look young so do it now, NOW, while you can. It gets harder as you get older, although you CAN still do it older, only it takes more work.

    Get out and walk. even if it's not too fast, walk longer. I walk briskly, but I'm a New Yorker and we walk like we are all on a mission. Walk, and when you get better at it, walk faster and longer. get some good walking sneakers.

    DO IT !!!
  • bb_lose_weight
    bb_lose_weight Posts: 103 Member
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    You will most likely get a lot of different suggestions. Here is the first one from an old lady who has done this many many times with the same result (gained it back + ).
    First don't cut anything from your life except extra calories.
    Second don't set yourself too low calories -- feeling hungry only leads to being hangry which can result in over eating (states the queen of over-eating while hangry).
    Third - move just find a way to add (at first) an extra 20 or 30 minutes a day of extra moving, just walking is a good start
    Fourth - LOG EVERYTHING - E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
    Fifth - get yourself a core group of MFP cheerleaders and be a good cheerleader too.

    I want you to succeed, just make sure you figure out what is best for you. There I am done.
    Joanne

    ^^^This is just awesomesauce
  • Glakhmed
    Glakhmed Posts: 35 Member
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    Keep in mind that at a heavier weight, you probably healthily loose a little bit more, but 15-20 pounds in a month just doesn't sound right. For most people, healthy weight loss is only going to be a pound or two a week on average. Set realistic goals and constantly remind yourself why you have them! Best wishes to you :-)
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    Mel,

    If what you've logged in your diary the last few days is a representation of what you are eating, then I would say you can't stick to a calorie deficit because you are not eating enough. Eat up to your calorie goal, and eat those exercise calories back. Your deficit is already built in so there is no need to deprive yourself of eating enough to fuel your body.