I have to confess

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Fit2_T
Fit2_T Posts: 317 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I made really bad eating choices today. Usually I just hide the evidence and beat myself up for a week or so. But I figure I'll come clean here and maybe, just maybe I'll get the insight I need to stop this feeding frenzy.

Today I HAD to have some kind of chocolate and preferably chocolate cake. I HAD to have it. Could not talk myself out of it like I have in the past. So I bought a box of Fudge Brownie Little Bites 100 calorie packs. Not so bad, but I ate the WHOLE BOX! 5 packs at 100 calories apiece. UGH! That is 15 bite-sized brownies. 500 calories and 55 g fat. I ate well the rest of the day, and I will not be going over my calorie allotment for the day. Still.

I wish for the life of me I could figure out why I do this. It is binging, right? It seems to happen every 2 months and usually on a Wednesday. Weird, right? It might be associated with TOM, but since I have an IUD I don't have periods any more so I am not sure where I am in my cycle. Sorry guys for the personal info!

I've kept losing weight because I get back on the program right away, but I worry the time will come when I don't get back on and I lose control. I've lost this 50 pounds twice before and I am so determined to keep it off this time. I'm reading "Women, Food and God" but I'm not sure it is helping much. I think I will have to read it and then go back and read it again.

Anyway, is there anyone else who has dealt with this? Have any ideas on how to "cure" the binging? I'm not unhappy or sad or mad. I have some stress, but no more than last month. Feels good to come clean though! Thanks for listening!

Replies

  • HappilySingle
    HappilySingle Posts: 149 Member
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    I've been known to slip up numerous times; sometimes it has resulted in a gain, sometimes a loss. As long as you realize your mistake and try to manage around them you do great. Congrats on the 50 lb loss, can't wait until I see that number!!! I think the fact that your motivated to not make the same mistake of loosing and then re-gaining the whole 50 lbs is great. Keep up the good work.

    PS Instead of buying a box of the brownie bites how about buying a single chocolate bar? Or beleive it or not chocolate cupcakes, make with applesauce instead of oil taste incredible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can even add frosting and eat away!
  • lastchance2010
    lastchance2010 Posts: 500 Member
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    ugh..been there done that...been reading posts bout cinnamon and apparently cinnamon is good help regulate blood sugar and is said to cure sugar cravings.... cant hurt right? Def don't beat yourself up...u messed up and fessed up and just get back on that weight loss train. Good luck... Oh and there is something else i did before the cinnamon thing..wich i only started today..extra as gum called dessert something or other and they have one flavor of mint chocolate chip ice cream....if i had 1.39 that day I would have sooooo bought it cuz i can't imagine chewing gum with that flavor...:huh: i believe strawberry shortcake and key lime pie r the other flavors....
  • huntheidim
    huntheidim Posts: 1
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    I have been there! Just take it day-by-day and the important thing is to get back on tomorrow and don't beat yourself up.
  • literaryshots
    literaryshots Posts: 66 Member
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    I think you waited too long, you then felt deprived and that caused the breakdown. Instead plan for those things you really love-and have a good quality real deal so you can sit and savor. Make it a plan and a production. I love warm cookies. I mix up a batch, portion out the dough, freeze it, then, I'll bake one or two on my allotted treat day. Or I'll buy a good quality single chocolate and really savor it, I might cut it into pieces, and serve it on my one really fancy (and small) china plate.
    I'll bet, like me, you need to create just the single serving. Do a search online. You can find a recipe for coffeemug cake, for example. Make one, put away the rest of the ingredients. Then enjoy.

    Remember too, it's a day to day struggle until things become new habits. You'll do better next time!

    Make chocolate cupcake and use pumpkin-dense, but rich AND adds fiber (not as overly sweet as the applesauce trade always seems for me).
  • blottig
    blottig Posts: 16
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    I can relate - I usually have VERY intense chocolate cravings right around my TOM. I doesn't do any good to try and satisfy the craving with something else. I must have chocolate, so I do. And I make it good. But as you did, I work it into my daily calories so I don't go over. It's win-win! As long as it is only happening every 2 months or so, I don't think it is worth worrying about too much.

    Congrats on your weight loss so far - you are doing great! :smile:
  • WonderNoodle
    WonderNoodle Posts: 549
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    I binge when I'm alone and tell myself the whole time I'm doing it not to....I must say, the longer I have been committed to improving my health, the less frequent my binging happens. Please read below a blog I posted earlier this year. I hope it helps you find the reality that you are stronger than the binge and WILL WIN in the long run. :drinker:



    Battle of the Wedding Cake

    It was a while ago that I had an epic battle and survived.

    It was a warm day and I was alone at home. My mother-n-law had just delivered, (despite knowing I was working hard to lose weight), a plate FULL of rich, heavy, butter-cream frosted wedding cake.

    I put it in the fridge, I don't like cold food.

    I took out a piece and ate it. OH......MY.....GOODNESS it was delicious.

    I went back for another sliver. Standing in the fridge with the door open, the sliver grew to another entire piece.

    I've got to get rid of this cake! I threw it in the trash.

    Still calling me, taunting me from the trash, I went back to the cake (which I conveniently placed on top...just in case apparently). I took out the plate and decided, I would taste it and spit it out, not swallow. (Have you ever tried that? It's terrible. It's worse that somebody fanning it under your nose. You don't get the pleasure of swallowing.) Well, that didn't work.

    I can't let this damn cake beat me! I will prevail!

    Before I could let Fat-Girl take over again and tell me how much I needed the cake, I swooped up the now half-a-plate of cake and ran outside onto the deck. In one leaping motion I threw the cake, plate and fork over the rails of the deck, down into the hillside. Quickly my dogs surrounded the cake and ended the battle once and for all. The enemy was no more.

    I was wounded, but survived.

    We all go to battle, just be sure to come out a survivor!
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
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    An occasional indulgence once in awhile is fine imo. You seem to be getting a great handle on things, and your success is to be applauded! :flowerforyou:
  • AndriaLL
    AndriaLL Posts: 162
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    Been there...chocolate and ice cream. My newest little rule is, I can have one serving (and only buy one serving) but I have to walk there to get it. I do live near a Target that sells little 1 serving sizes of Haagen Dazs. By the time I get home it's just soft enough to scoop out and I've burned just 40 short of the calories in that ice cream. If I want another, it's another walk... This is about the 6th "rule" or "game" I've come up with for such days....
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
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    I binge when I'm alone and tell myself the whole time I'm doing it not to....I must say, the longer I have been committed to improving my health, the less frequent my binging happens. Please read below a blog I posted earlier this year. I hope it helps you find the reality that you are stronger than the binge and WILL WIN in the long run. :drinker:



    Battle of the Wedding Cake

    It was a while ago that I had an epic battle and survived.

    It was a warm day and I was alone at home. My mother-n-law had just delivered, (despite knowing I was working hard to lose weight), a plate FULL of rich, heavy, butter-cream frosted wedding cake.

    I put it in the fridge, I don't like cold food.

    I took out a piece and ate it. OH......MY.....GOODNESS it was delicious.

    I went back for another sliver. Standing in the fridge with the door open, the sliver grew to another entire piece.

    I've got to get rid of this cake! I threw it in the trash.

    Still calling me, taunting me from the trash, I went back to the cake (which I conveniently placed on top...just in case apparently). I took out the plate and decided, I would taste it and spit it out, not swallow. (Have you ever tried that? It's terrible. It's worse that somebody fanning it under your nose. You don't get the pleasure of swallowing.) Well, that didn't work.

    I can't let this damn cake beat me! I will prevail!

    Before I could let Fat-Girl take over again and tell me how much I needed the cake, I swooped up the now half-a-plate of cake and ran outside onto the deck. In one leaping motion I threw the cake, plate and fork over the rails of the deck, down into the hillside. Quickly my dogs surrounded the cake and ended the battle once and for all. The enemy was no more.

    I was wounded, but survived.

    We all go to battle, just be sure to come out a survivor!

    My Dad does this out in the country...they have the fattest squirrels :laugh: :laugh: :wink:
  • aschr690
    aschr690 Posts: 41 Member
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    Today was one of my bad days as well. I am in college and living on campus. I had to buy a meal plan, and as the semester comes to an end I have a ridiculous amount of extra meal plans! So I am getting as much food as I can when I go to the on campus store with the intent of eating it slowly. Yeah, right. I bought a package of two large cinnamon rolls covered in delicious creamy frosting. I ate one and it was SO good. I mean, I have not eaten something that delicious in so long. Needless to say I ate the other one after arguing with myself for an hour. Not to mention I was going to go to a fitness class, but I have to walk across campus and it is SO cold out. So naturally I didn't do that either. I feel really heavy now and bad about myself. But you just have to move forward from this! Especially since you have made such amazing progress as it is! You have proof that watching what you eat works! As long as you stay consistent and only indulge once in a while, it may not help you lose weight, but you won't gain 5 lbs from one bad day :)
  • cowpoke06
    cowpoke06 Posts: 171
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    I am exactly the same way. I will actually sneak food...eat it in my car and hide the evidence...because if no one sees me it it...it doesn't count, right? (I don't do this anymore, having to be accountable to mfp has been a good deterrent for me.)

    If you have to absolutely have something, maybe try to comprise...like with the chocolate bar as stated before. I have found that chocolate milk helps with my chocolate cravings (I use the sugar free. Some people hate it but it doesn't bother me!) I like crunchy salty stuff...so I keep plain popcorn around...and cover it in parmeson (spelling!) cheese. That's way better than a bag of chips!
  • rockieschick
    rockieschick Posts: 321 Member
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    I have times like that too....I try to limit them but I have a problem too. I am going to go visit my parents for a while next week....I am so scared. Last time I went there I gained 5lbs in a week. They eat very nice meals....The ones you cant resist if you go to a restaurant. They have high calories YUMMY food. Oh and did I mention the wine? Ya.....
    I told them that I would be careful with my food intake and that they should not be offended if I dont eat the same as their dinner.
    If it was only a few days or even a week stay it would be okay but Im staying there for 3 weeks. I would gain at least 15lbs!!!!!
    The good thing is that they have a lot of exercise equipment! So if I cant resist Ill just have to workout harder! haha
    Wish me luck anyway!
  • RippaRita54
    RippaRita54 Posts: 19 Member
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    Considering you will not be going over your alloted calories for the day even with a 500 calorie brownie binge....... Seems to me that perhaps you arent eating enough? Or eating enough of you excercise calories? If i had a spare 500 everyday i would not satisfied and binge too!!! I was doing this previously and not eating any of my around 800 a day exercise cals and i plataued!! I could not lose any weight and was miserably hungry for 6 weeks! Then i started eating a little more each day more out of annoyance and guess what! The scales started to drop! Unless you are burning 1000+ calories a day with exercise you really should not have a spare 500 cals to blow on a binge and still be under your goal!
  • 1QueenB
    1QueenB Posts: 227 Member
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    I don't think I can add anything that hasn't already been said. I do so share your feelings and totally understand and like you, I just start over the next day and the next day and the next day. My TOM is the most horrible for me because I crave things and eat like a pregnant woman. I do know we can do this, knowing your faults is half the battle! Hang in there :flowerforyou:
  • pinksocks73
    pinksocks73 Posts: 86
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    Remember, when the sun comes up tomorrow, it's a new day and a clean slate. I was having issues with "binge" eating...because I was being too strict with myself. Sundays I pretty much eat whatever I want to, I'm mindful of my portions, and it seems to help with craving bad stuff the other 6 days of the week. (If my husband and I go out for dinner/dancing/drinking on Saturday night, then Sat night counts as my Sunday).

    Don't beat yourself up...this is a rough journey.
  • Diannerv
    Diannerv Posts: 195
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    I find it interesting that you called 500 calories worth of brownies every 2 months binge eating. I dont think thats binging at all. I will agree about the post of depriving yourself. I try to have something that I am craving once a week. My sister who does body for life has a "free day" and I have seen her eat chocolate cake for breakfast on that day. I think making lowfat cupcakes or something to have is okay every once in a while. You cant be prefect 7 days a week. I LOVE those chocolate mini cakes by weight watchers, I think they are one point. I keep them in the freezer and will have one occasionally and it really helps my sweet tooth. We've all been there, just start again tomaro. Good luck.
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    I indulge once a week - I have whatever it is I'm craving for dinner (last Friday it was pizza, this coming its going to be taco hell). And I know I have sweet tooth - I don't try to avoid IT altogether. I have fruit during the day and at night I have a 100 calorie cookie pack & milk (sometimes make it hot chocolate with Swiss Miss diet - only 25 cals). That way I'm adapting, not depriving.

    Despite this I still end up with binge days like everyone. But don't beat myself up, just get up and get back on track.

    PERSISTANCE, NOT PERFECTION!!!!
  • Fit2_T
    Fit2_T Posts: 317 Member
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    Thanks guys! I can feel the love and acceptance and it really is helping me move past this.

    I have tried the mint chocolate chip gum and it really does help me. I like the taste even though it does sound yucky (IMO). But I did not even think of it today.

    I definitely should have bought a candy bar or a ding-dong or some other single serving chocolate item. Next time (if there is a next time) I will do that. In fact I am going to make a plan for next time. Much better than 500 calories in one sitting. I looked up “coffeemug cake” and found this recipe: http://www.grouprecipes.com/72684/microwave-cake-in-a-coffee-mug.html. Thanks for that suggestion!

    I did realize something from reading literaryshots post. I do have planned “cheat” meals or days and use them usually on Saturday or Sunday. But my mistake is in letting my husband decide what my cheat is going to be. I just realized that he has been suggesting a cheat food and I have said okay. But wait – shouldn’t I be deciding what “cheat” I am craving IF I am craving one? Looking back I’m not sure how I let that happen. LOL! What a nut. If I’m not getting what I’m craving I’ll just find it later.

    I ate a LOT of fruit and veggies today and some chicken and I am not hungry at all. That is how I managed to stay under/at my calorie goal. I’ve made the mistake of cutting my calorie intake back too far and stalling my weight loss. In fact I tend to learn that lesson about once a month. I never do it on purpose. I always ask myself if I am hungry before getting food and will have water before I eat. I had a day last week I only had 850 calories! Me! Insane! But I was sick and couldn’t taste anything. And the next day I gained. Not a real good strategy for long term weight loss. Thanks for the reminder!

    I really appreciate you all reaching out.

    I feel focused again.
    Thanks.

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