Comments from family

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aprilflower18232
aprilflower18232 Posts: 205 Member
in Motivation and Support
Went to my fathers today....I haven't seen him in a few months. He asked about my weight loss and told me I look good....then he proceeded in telling me how I should have done it sooner....am I just being over sensitive or would anyone roles be upset by this?
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Replies

  • bizco
    bizco Posts: 1,949 Member
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    You're being over sensitive. He's just concerned about your health.
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
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    We all should have done it sooner. He was being honest. Appreciate those who will be honest with you.
  • caloct17
    caloct17 Posts: 5 Member
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    I believe it's kind of both. I am an overly sensitive person (so this kind of comment would have bothered me) and I also, should have lost weight sooner. But I think that is the wrong way to look at it. . Yeah, life would be easier now if you'd started sooner but, just think how great you'll feel a year from now! Right NOW is the best time to make positive changes. Keep it up!
  • zeal26
    zeal26 Posts: 602 Member
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    I'd say he's just happy for you and commenting that it would have been great for you if you'd done it sooner. I don't think he meant anything mean by it :)
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    We all should have done it sooner. He was being honest. Appreciate those who will be honest with you.

    ^ This

    Your father is being supportive when he tells you that you look good. Be grateful for that. Focus on the positive.
    I don't think he was being nasty with the comment he made, It was just an observation. I think you are being overly sensitive.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
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    oversensitive. Parents mean well, but usually have no tact.
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,181 Member
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    Its a positive --> Neutral comment..
    He's happy for you and wished you would have started this journey earlier??

    Nothing wrong with that..
  • ScifiGirl1986
    ScifiGirl1986 Posts: 104 Member
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    I think it depends on how it was said. I know that when my family members start to notice my weight loss they'll be smug about it, so a comment like that would piss me off. However, if it was said in a less "I told you so" way, then you might be over-reacting.
  • RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle
    RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle Posts: 1,349 Member
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    If you appreciate that he said you look good, then just focus on this and forget the rest.
  • aprilflower18232
    aprilflower18232 Posts: 205 Member
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    This is the same father that gave me a can of slim fast when I was 11 in front of my friends....
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
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    Should you have done it sooner? Yep. Lighten up. It's a compliment, from a dad. You take what you get from dads.
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
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    This is the same father that gave me a can of slim fast when I was 11 in front of my friends....

    So your dad is an *kitten*. You know it. Act accordingly.
  • katiemegcz
    katiemegcz Posts: 49 Member
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    Sounds like something mine would say. I think some people just communicate poorly, and don't know how to be happy or supportive in a way that sounds right. As long as YOU know you look good and are doing great, then that is all that matters.
  • klooney007
    klooney007 Posts: 1 Member
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    You should be upset. Some people, including dads have a critical spirit. It is not you. Nothing is good enough for critical people. What is worse, they do not discriminate between family and everyone else. He said you look nice. That, I bet was huge. Remember, it is not you. No one will measure up in his eyes. No one can do good enough in his eyes. You are doing great. It takes will power and determination. Be proud of yourself. Be a person who is proud and encourages others. I read your post because I got on here to encourage my daughter because she always encourages me. You be that person. I read a great sign the other day that said, "Be someone who makes you happy." Have a great day. You deserve it. You have earned it. Also, go out an make someone's day better by being in it.
  • Billy323
    Billy323 Posts: 182 Member
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    dang made a whole post and it disappeared whilst posting.

    Definitely not being overly sensitive IMO. Fat people is the last group of people were it is socially acceptable to openly degrade under the guise of health concerns.

    Don't put him on any special pedestal because any man can become a biological father. Keep doing what you are doing and next time he pipes up you can flip it around on him by saying something about him not bringing healthy options into the house when you were younger or just blame his poverty genetics.

    I am fairly sure you already realize that you are the better person though.

    When you finally hit your goal you be sure to tell him that you accomplished the feat in spite of him not because of him.

    Keep on keeping on.
  • lesteidel
    lesteidel Posts: 229 Member
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    Overly sensitive.

    His words can only upset you if you let them
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    It depends on your relationship with your father and the tone in which it was said. I tend to think that family means well, so I'd lean in favor of letting it go and chalking it up to you being a bit too sensitive. But again, I don't know you and I don't know your father.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,521 Member
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    I don't think you are being overly sensitive really. It was kind of an a-hole thing to say...he could have just left it at: "you look good." What does it matter when you did it...you did it, right? I would definitely be annoyed with this comment, but he's probably been somewhat of an *kitten* your whole life...you should expect it at this point I imagine.
  • quietair
    quietair Posts: 65 Member
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    That's one of those comments I look forward to, like hearing "You look so great now that you lost all the weight." Am I ugly or somehow less of a person now, at 300 pounds? What about my personality? People mean well, I know they do, no one really ponders what the right thing to say is. I'm not sure they ever did. I don't think anything is meant by it, it's just the imperfection in human nature.

    45-ish days ago when I sort of announced I'd not be the resident "big dude" anymore, the first thing some people did was bring me cookies, cake, donuts, etc. It wasn't helping, but I knew they meant well, thinking that I should have one last go of the "good life" before a sojourn into diet hell. They were wrong, of course, but intent matters.

    Good luck to you all!
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
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    sadly over the years i've become a bit expectant of obnoxious comments and take everything personally even when it's mean to be a compliment so i'd probably have taken it wrong as well.

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