Comments from family

You're being over sensitive. He's just concerned about your health.

I believe it's kind of both. I am an overly sensitive person (so this kind of comment would have bothered me) and I also, should have lost weight sooner. But I think that is the wrong way to look at it. . Yeah, life would be easier now if you'd started sooner but, just think how great you'll feel a year from now! Right NOW is the best time to make positive changes. Keep it up!

We all should have done it sooner. He was being honest. Appreciate those who will be honest with you.

^ This

Your father is being supportive when he tells you that you look good. Be grateful for that. Focus on the positive.
I don't think he was being nasty with the comment he made, It was just an observation. I think you are being overly sensitive.

Its a positive --> Neutral comment..
He's happy for you and wished you would have started this journey earlier??

Nothing wrong with that..

If you appreciate that he said you look good, then just focus on this and forget the rest.

Should you have done it sooner? Yep. Lighten up. It's a compliment, from a dad. You take what you get from dads.

Sounds like something mine would say. I think some people just communicate poorly, and don't know how to be happy or supportive in a way that sounds right. As long as YOU know you look good and are doing great, then that is all that matters.

dang made a whole post and it disappeared whilst posting.

Definitely not being overly sensitive IMO. Fat people is the last group of people were it is socially acceptable to openly degrade under the guise of health concerns.

Don't put him on any special pedestal because any man can become a biological father. Keep doing what you are doing and next time he pipes up you can flip it around on him by saying something about him not bringing healthy options into the house when you were younger or just blame his poverty genetics.

I am fairly sure you already realize that you are the better person though.

When you finally hit your goal you be sure to tell him that you accomplished the feat in spite of him not because of him.

Keep on keeping on.

It depends on your relationship with your father and the tone in which it was said. I tend to think that family means well, so I'd lean in favor of letting it go and chalking it up to you being a bit too sensitive. But again, I don't know you and I don't know your father.

That's one of those comments I look forward to, like hearing "You look so great now that you lost all the weight." Am I ugly or somehow less of a person now, at 300 pounds? What about my personality? People mean well, I know they do, no one really ponders what the right thing to say is. I'm not sure they ever did. I don't think anything is meant by it, it's just the imperfection in human nature.

45-ish days ago when I sort of announced I'd not be the resident "big dude" anymore, the first thing some people did was bring me cookies, cake, donuts, etc. It wasn't helping, but I knew they meant well, thinking that I should have one last go of the "good life" before a sojourn into diet hell. They were wrong, of course, but intent matters.

Good luck to you all!

I myself do not think you are being too sensitive. I believe that parents fall into patterns just like we do and sometimes repeat what their parents did. Accept the compliment, and stop expecting your father to be nice. It is okay to tell him … in private ... that he hurt your feelings, but do not expect him to change. If you decide to confront him do not expect it to be pretty.

The best thing is to look to yourself as much as you can. It would be nice if our families could be there for us, but if they haven't been there before, they probably won't be there now.

Just stay focused on the things you can control like the fact that you are doing GREAT!

This is the same father that gave me a can of slim fast when I was 11 in front of my friends....

Totally insensitive and embarrassing. I'm really sorry about that. No child should have to go through that kind of mistreatment.

But you are grown now and need to let the past go. You have a beautiful future ahead of you and you are making the best of what you know now!

When I read this post it made me sad. Only you know what tone your father used when he made the comment. If he was truly sincere and caring, well, I guess, that's one thing, but if it was a snarky 'I told you so' well, I'd be mad too.

I'm one of those trying-to-recover oversensitive people who unfortunately takes every criticism as a threat. My father was always on me about my weight when I was a kid. At 5'9" and 138 pounds I wasn't fat, but he felt no girl under the age of 20 should be that 'heavy'. He loved to tease me as a child, 'fatty fatty two by four can't fit through the kitchen door'. I'm in my fifties now and my father is long-deceased and the memory still hurts. The result of his criticism was to plant the seeds of self-doubt and a perpetually low self-esteem.

I'm sorry for what you went through with your father. Shaming you in front of your friends was awful. In a perfect world, all parents would be nurturing and supportive and our biggest cheerleaders, but as you know, it's not the way it is. You don't go to the hardware store to buy a loaf of bread because they don't sell it. I couldn't go to my father for love and support because he didn't have it to give. Most of the cruel things people do and say are reflections of their own lack of self-esteem. They don't feel good about themselves so they spread the pain around. Don't let him get in your head and undermine your happiness.

Congratulations on your amazing progress, you inspire me!

We all should have done it sooner. He was being honest. Appreciate those who will be honest with you.

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