trouble with self image after losing weight.

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sgrabowicz91
sgrabowicz91 Posts: 32 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I started my journey here wearing a size 18/20 pants...not comfortable but squeezing in refusing to accept a larger size. I've been a baggy 16 for sometime now. On a shopping trip last week my mom suggested I try a size or 2 down in pants and I refused claiming they felt fine. Wearing them I now see what she meant they look like a tent and I'm probably closer to a 12/14.

My question is does anyone else have or had this issue I have another 45 lbs to go so I'm worried this will be worse. Any advice to teach your brain to see the right image?

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  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    You are absolutely normal. It took me at least six months to stop shopping in larger sizes. I have been at goal for a little over a year and sometimes when I see a bargain in my old size, I am tempted. Your mom sounds like a great person to go shopping with. Congrats on your weightloss and your new size!:drinker:
  • aimeegoudas
    aimeegoudas Posts: 26 Member
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    I am not sure how to teach your brain to not do this, I am going through the same thing myself. Today I put on a 12 curvey skinny jean as a joke, and they fit like a glove, and look great. I had to take a photo to believe it, because my brain assumes all mirors are tricky!

    Anyway, I lost 55 lbs in 2000. I had this same issue. I am currently about 20 lbs in to losing 50-60 lbs. I can tell you one thing that makes me not believe I am losing and being successful...1) I am scared about failing, so I want to just accept myself heavy, 2) I had grown so okay with being heavy since nothing was working, that I truly did accept it, so giving it up was actually hard.

    Seeing you talk about something I wasn't conscious about before, I know that I need to remind myself that I CAN lose the weight. I AM worth a healthy body - and mind. I think I am going to try to treat myself to a new piece of clothing when I hit milestones. (I just broke 170 for the first time in over a year).

    You will get used to it too. You will learn to accept the compliments. You are earning this, you are doing it!
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I can't wait to have your troubles. :laugh:

    I wonder how I will feel when the skin becomes loose and saggy. That will be my self image problem.

    Congrats to all here who have lost sizes. It will be me soon too.
  • Will_Thrust_For_Candy
    Will_Thrust_For_Candy Posts: 6,109 Member
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    Yeah that mental part is probably the hardest part, TBH.

    I take pics. LOTS AND LOTS OF PICS :laugh: Honestly it has really helped me come to terms with the body I have now and why I should love it and be proud of it and treat it right. Side by side progress pics work wonders too. That way it really sinks in how far you've come. I also found it very helpful to buy clothes that fit properly throughout the process. Show off what you have been working so hard for!

    It's really very emotional. I have bawled looking at before and during pictures. But it's so worth it and so makes me realize how much I never want to go back :smile: :flowerforyou:
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
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    Yeah that mental part is probably the hardest part, TBH.

    I take pics. LOTS AND LOTS OF PICS :laugh: Honestly it has really helped me come to terms with the body I have now and why I should love it and be proud of it and treat it right. Side by side progress pics work wonders too. That way it really sinks in how far you've come. I also found it very helpful to buy clothes that fit properly throughout the process. Show off what you have been working so hard for!

    It's really very emotional. I have bawled looking at before and during pictures. But it's so worth it and so makes me realize how much I never want to go back :smile: :flowerforyou:

    This. So much this. I'm slowly getting better about accepting the size I am now, especially when it comes to shopping, but I will take lots of pics anytime I look in the mirror and swear I'm still the same.
  • sgrabowicz91
    sgrabowicz91 Posts: 32 Member
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    Thanks guys...and amiee your 1 and 2 sounds identical to mine. I'm convinced I'm just going to fail even though I see it working because it's never worked before. I have a lot more stretch marks but I guess I shouldn't be upset because it's proof I'm losing the weight and I'm thankful for no loose skin.

    I've thought about the picture thing but I have been scared but I think I'll just try to get over it and give it a try. Thanks you guys I don't feel alone or crazy now.
  • claudiacmarsh
    claudiacmarsh Posts: 11
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    I can relate. I've lost 63lbs so far and still wear my size 20 jeans. They will not stay up and I recently tried on my sister's size 14 to see that they actually fit really well. The biggest thing that helped me come to accept that I have a new body and it looks damn good, is pictures. I see others have said that but seriously it's insane. My older sister took a picture of me at my heaviest weight (293lbs) and a picture of me at my current (230lbs) and put them side by side and showed me. I was floored.

    The other thing that really helps me when I get deep in self doubt is the little accomplishments. I know I have about more weight to lose, but I can do push ups, real ones, for the first time in my life. I can run over a mile without having to stop. Through my journey I have become a strong badass woman.
  • TheFisherKing
    TheFisherKing Posts: 935
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    I have lost nearly 180lbs total in the last 9 months and I am constantly told to buy clothes that fit right. I have ALWAYS shopped Big and Tall and still have it in my head that is my go to. I now buy off the rack and cannot believe it. I wash laundry and marvel at my jeans, thinking these cannot be mine. When packing clothes, I cannot believe how much MORE fits into a suit case. I still see a very fat man. It is most disconcerting at times.
  • sgrabowicz91
    sgrabowicz91 Posts: 32 Member
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    My husband did that to me my profile pic he made for me I guess because he got sick of telling me I lost weight and look completely different and I would just shut down and complain that nothing is different. Now with the picture I'm convinced it's camera angles. I'm comfortable at a size 16 I think because it's the smallest size I've been in since I was 15. It's complete refusal to admit that there's a number smaller than that. I love Torrid but last time I was in there its kinda like they look at me that's it's a joke that I'm inside their store when they use to be more than nice. It just sucks because I couldn't stand myself being heavy and all I wanted was to lose weight now it seems even more mentally draining going through the actual weight loss. No doctor warned me about this part. I'm just starting to think people think I'm saying it because I want the attention when it's a real issue :(
  • IWILLBelieveAchieveInspire
    IWILLBelieveAchieveInspire Posts: 218 Member
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    I struggle with this all the time as well. When i started I was a size 22/24 and that size was getting tight. I am now a size 14. I still find myself feeling kinda out of place in average clothing stores. I will pass the plus size stores and almost feel I should still be shopping in them. As much as i hated shopping at the 2 plus size stores in our area, they became my norm. So the fact that I now have endless places I can shop it makes me feel a bit anxious and out of place. Still trying to figure out my 'style' and new body shape. I will often say to my husband and son when out and about, "do i look like her?" as another women pass us or is in front of us. I just want to get a handle on how my body looks. Even with pictures i take of myself i still find I perceive myself bigger than i actually am. ;)
  • lauramblair
    lauramblair Posts: 74 Member
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    I totally deal with this! I started as a 14 and am now a size 6.. I can squeeze into 4s, but not go out into public in them yet. ;) But when I look in the mirror, I still see myself 40 pounds ago. I just do NOT see the current me. It's weird. I agree with the pictures - when I see a picture of myself, I see it. I see the loss, I see the current me. But in the mirror? Nope. It's weird.
  • Sparlingo
    Sparlingo Posts: 938 Member
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    I went from a size 14 to a size 2, and what helped me believe that I was a smaller size was a) progress photos, and b) measurements.

    The measurements were helpful, too, in showing me where I was in between sizes at various retailers. I learned that at my goal weight, I was anywhere from a size zero to a size six depending on the retailer. That helped with the confusion I would experience shopping, and the fear of bringing the wrong size into the change room - I got used to bringing 3 sizes in with me for pants, and then when I find a size or two that works, branching out and trying the different styles from there, in those one or two sizes.

    It's a bit more work, but as you get to do a bit more of "just for fun" shopping, you'll get a good feel for your size and feel less out of place bringing those foreign numbers into the change stall with you :smile:.

    Also, sometimes you can still get it very wrong - don't be discouraged! I'm 29 weeks pregnant right now, but i know that you're supposed to be the same size as pre-pregnancy with regards to maternity clothes. Well, I went to H&M and grabbed some maternity jeans in varying sizes ... and learned that I'm a size 10. Oops!

    The more comfortable you get with your body, the more these tags just become numbers anyway. It's great letting go of the power those numbers have over you.
  • blc1971
    blc1971 Posts: 170 Member
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    You're not crazy!! I lost 63 lbs in about 18 months (slowly). I'm about 2 lbs away from my goal. I started at a very tight 18/20 and am now an 8/10. I still have trouble reconciling what I see in the mirror with pictures and the way other people see me. When I hold up a pair of pants or a dress in my current size, my brain still says: "There is no way that's gonna fit your fat tail!!". Then when it fits perfectly, I am shocked! LOL!! I also have issues with loose skin in certain areas, but I'm working on toning and clothes cover most of it, so I don't worry too much about that.

    Pictures do help for sure and I highly recommend taking them regularly so you can really see what other people see. You're doing great so just keep on truckin' and you will succeed!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    I struggle with this all the time as well. When i started I was a size 22/24 and that size was getting tight. I am now a size 14. I still find myself feeling kinda out of place in average clothing stores. I will pass the plus size stores and almost feel I should still be shopping in them. As much as i hated shopping at the 2 plus size stores in our area, they became my norm. So the fact that I now have endless places I can shop it makes me feel a bit anxious and out of place. Still trying to figure out my 'style' and new body shape. I will often say to my husband and son when out and about, "do i look like her?" as another women pass us or is in front of us. I just want to get a handle on how my body looks. Even with pictures i take of myself i still find I perceive myself bigger than i actually am. ;)

    I could have written this! Feel very similar right now!!

    I was in a 20/22 when I started MFP although I felt like I looked pretty fantastic having already lost 45 lb from my HW - so it has been a reality check for me to see how big I actually was 1 year ago. Now I'm in a size 14 too, hanging on to a few 16s that I really shouldn't. I feel like a fish out of water in the misses and juniors departments but that is getting better the more that I shop in these stores/depts. and see that these clothes DO fit me well. It is a weird thing to go through but I like it, overall! I do feel like I have a good handle on the style(s) I want to wear but it's just a bit disconcerting after TWENTY years of hitting the plus section. Especially with tops...because I tended to wear them quite baggy, so even if I COULD have worn 1X I would usually grab the 3X and not even bother trying it on, for years I felt like a top being "too big" was impossible for me and now I have to be really careful of sizing or I can only wear the top for like 2 months before it looks baggy and frumpy.

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