Controlling oneself at restaurants and family dinners

prelog- pick out what you are going to eat at a restaurant before hand and log it into MFP so you know where you will stand. Then stick with it.

Family meals are harder because usually you don't really know whats in the food. Eat slow and listen for when you are full and keep it reasonable is the only advice I have there.

I log my calories before I eat them. We eat out every weekend. We decide where we are going to eat before we leave the house. This makes it easy to get online and look up a restaurant's menu and nutritional information. It saves a lot of time in the restaurants to go ahead and log my calories before I leave the house. No more looking over the menu and guessing if I have enough calories for this or that and no more drooling over the desserts and baked goods. You already know what you are having. Choose something high in protein and it will fill you up and hush some of the cravings. Try to drink a glass of water or tea while waiting for your food and another glass while you are eating your food. Do all that and I'm almost positive you are not going to want dessert.

ETA: I never order anything that I can't finish right there on the spot. If it's too high in calories that I have to take home half the plate, then I don't need it in my body. Just my personal preference while trying to be a healthier me.

I understand the economical side of things, but I also like not being any more weird/awkward in social settings than I already am. Get the box after dinner, not a big deal. IMO, getting it before just draws attention to you and people will start to get annoying about things ("oh, you know that Dr. Oz says to do the same thing!"). There's a "no chip" rule, but there's also a "live a little" rule that says "one night isn't going to kill you." Take the little appetizer plate and count out 14-17 chips (full chips, don't short yourself). If you're economical, know that dessert is where the markup is at restaurants. I'm a runner, MBA, and part Jew, so I see things in miles, fuel sources, dollar signs, and value.

Why not arrange to do some exercise earlier in the day - so it's a case of topping up calories burnt?

I've started bringing food to family gatherings - to "pitch in" - but also then i know how it's made. Then I'm not guessing for the whole meal, and I try to fill up on that food. I usually do steamed veggies w different seasoning. It works pretty well and everyones usually grateful too!

Restaurants are tough, but I got great advice from a nutritionist friend of mine. She said "be THAT person" the one who asks to go off menu. Really often they can substitute those mashed potatoes or fries for steamed veggies no problem. I know myself and once that food is in front of me my will power is gone (though lets be honest, my will power usually goes with that first glass of wine )

If you are at a family gathering (someone's home), ask for a smaller plate. It may seem silly, but I have done this. I used the small plates the kids were using instead of the large "adult sized" plates. This allows you to take less food, and still "finish everything on your plate".

I do ask for to go boxes to come with my dinners, and I place 1/2 to 2/3 of food in the box so that I will not overeat. Sometimes, I will use one of their small appetizer plates, move over the food I want from the large plate, and then box the rest.

A few suggestions that may help:

- When your waters comes get your water and literally GULP the first cup down and ask for another cup. It will help you feel fuller before ever even ordering.
- Ask your waiter to wrap half of your meal before bringing it out. (For me, I will even ask that they not bring the carryout box out until we've paid and are ready to leave.
- Limit the amount you go out. This one is tough, especially for me. I love the ease of going out to eat and honestly, it makes me feel good. The big thing about trying to lose weight though is setting yourself up for success. If you know this is a weakness or something you can't do then just have people over at your home, where you can control portions/ingredients.

Hope this helps!

the wrapping up half is a great idea. I have done it before, but since i'm on a medically supervised diet I'm not allowed to go out and eat but when I'm off the program I'm going to do this and have it brought out only after I paid as well. great Idea. thanks.

I always figure out what I'm going to eat before I get there. You can google "healthy options at mexican restaurants" (fajitas), thai (thai soup), etc and have a pretty good idea.

As far as feeling that I've paid for it so I want to eat it, I keep the idea but tweak it a bit. I figure that two meals for the price of one is a good deal, so I also try to order things I know will be good reheated. Then I keep in mind while I'm eating that I want to have enough to carry me through lunch the next day, so I want to leave that much on my plate.

Also, realize that they are happier to make substitutions than you think. You can get veggies in place of almost anything--ask for steamed and specify no butter, otherwise it's as bad as the mashed potatoes and gravy! Just keep in mind what your real goal is--to eat a plate full of food or to be healthier and happier with how you look! I struggled with this at first, but in even a few months it's become not that big a deal.

I usually don't want leftovers after I eat at a restaurant (why eat the unhealthy food twice?), so what I do (if I have the self control --;) is portion out the serving I want to have that night, and then dump salt, pepper, whatever all over what I shouldn't be eating.

There you go, all done.

At restaurants i usually skip the appetizers. I suck down unsweetened iced tea instead. I happen to love tea so this works out nicely for me. Also, whenever possible I also look up nutritional value online beforehand. A lot of places have lower cal options. If none of the options that i can fit into my day look appealing then I just get what i want and eat half or 2/3 of it. I'd rather have a smaller portion of something i like than a big plate of something that is just "meh."

At family get togethers I do not want to offend anyone by not eating, nor do i want to miss out on a delicious home-cooked meal. They are pretty infrequent for us (mostly just major holidays) so I don't sweat it too much. However I have found myself at a cookout or other event like a baby shower where there is a lot of stuff made by others & of course i have no idea of the actual nutritional value. I just try to watch the portions, estimate the cals as best as i can, log it, and move on.

I was not raised on the "clean your plate" mentality but remember, if you don't clean your plate you have leftovers for tomorrow! And if you can turn a $20 meal into two meals you're being more fiscally responsible and you get to enjoy the food twice.

Finally someone that thinks like me. I was thinking that I was the only person on MFP that ever ate leftovers. I don't mind at all getting a big portion. Sometimes I can get 3 meals out of one! I see that as a win win situation.

I do not usually like taking leftovers home with me. I am more likely to order items a la carte or get something rather small and eat it all.

I definitely do not care for the "eat before you go" approach...I'd rather tackle the whole situation from the perspective of "What CAN I eat that is worth it to me?" rather than, "How can I just not eat?"

One thing I do is eat tiny meals for breakfast and lunch if I know I am going out for dinner. This week I am going out with my girlfriends and I WILL want a couple of drinks and an appetizer (as my entrée) so that's gonna be about 800-900 calorie dinner versus my usual 500-600. I'll probably have something like a bean sprout omelet with Sriracha and coffee for breakfast (well under 200 cal) and for lunch a bunch of veggies, 1/8 cup of cocoa almonds, Laughing Cow cheese wedge and hot flavored tea. So even with no opportunity to exercise (working all day and going straight to the pub) I will stay within my calories.

At family gatherings I generally zone in on a couple of things to eat. Of course if there's a veggie or fruit tray that is a good place to start. I am likely to eat some protein (usually meat or deviled eggs) and indulge in ONE thing if there are desserts/baked goods. I'm sort of a spaz and can have a silly personality so I occasionally make a show of explaining to the host how deeply I love frosting and don't care for any cake or ice cream, I'd just love to have that purple rosette from the corner of Maud's birthday cake. It makes people feel comfortable especially if they eat very indulgently and know that I eat lighter.

The no chip rule with Mexican food is also a habit of mine. I am not a huge chips n' salsa person at all so that's really easy for me. Same thing with bread, rolls, and breadsticks. I am NOT a low carb-er or anything, but those just aren't worth it to me. A delicious slice of homemade wheat crust pizza? A yummy spicy pasta seafood dish? Worth it. Reheated bread at Outback? Not worth it.

I don't get to go out often, so when I do I tend to not worry about it. I eat what I want, drink what I want, and enjoy myself.

I was not raised on the "clean your plate" mentality but remember, if you don't clean your plate you have leftovers for tomorrow! And if you can turn a $20 meal into two meals you're being more fiscally responsible and you get to enjoy the food twice.

Finally someone that thinks like me. I was thinking that I was the only person on MFP that ever ate leftovers. I don't mind at all getting a big portion. Sometimes I can get 3 meals out of one! I see that as a win win situation.

Now, this is interesting; two things to quote from one post!

I'm from the "clean your plate" school too. Not eating everything is a psychological hurdle to overcome and this is how I did it::

"Self, you've simply got to decide that you won't do it anymore. That was then,this is now. You were a darling child with chubby cheeks. Now you're an overweight adult who is trying to reign it in. It's time to act like it!" I can get pretty hard on myself sometimes, too.

Once you've made that decision, scooping out tomorrow's lunch before tonight's dinner is pretty easy.

As for restaurants, they sell repeat business with huge portions and great flavor. To get great flavors, they liberally use fats, salts, spices and MSG. You can also get amazing flavor by having a trained chef in the kitchen but, it's much cheaper to add the Big 4 to a meal than sending a line cook to culinary school. I avoid anything deep fried or with "manly man" portions. Why do I need 2000 calories on one plate? I order vegetables instead of starch, broth soup instead of cream soup and, I never order a dessert for only myself. Sometimes I'll order a senior meal. (Most places will let you order one regardless of your age.) Gravy on the side and eaten the same way you eat salad dressing, just dip your fork. If you put all of this together you can enjoy a restaurant meal without using two days of calories to do it.

Yesterday for lunch, we were in a national chain sports bar. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with bacon, mushrooms and cheese. (Tasty!) I cheated this one by tearing of the bottom bun before taking bites. I ended up with the bottom bun fragments and much of the top bun on the plate. I also had steamed green beans instead of fries and a glass of water to drink. when I tallied up the ingredients, the meal was well under 500 calories. (If you check my food diary you'll see 611 for lunch. I also snagged two pieces of fried shrimp from my wife but I went shopping with her afterwards. Not sure if that's called pay-back or paying it forward!)

Final tip: Have the waiter clear your plate ASAP. If it's not there, you can't pick at it.

One more add in for any situation, I know when my family is going out for pizza later that day or even during the week I will try to create a little extra wiggle room so I can enjoy myself. I try to eat well 80% of the time and that 20% includes a family meal or night out. Everyone repeats this but losing weight is a lifestyle change. You don't want to say no to everything you enjoy for the rest of your life. Just practice moderation.