Hi guys. I'm pretty hopeless.

I know I probably won't get requests, or won't find people to add.

I wish I could find people around Ontario, great if it's mississauga. Don't know why location matters, it doesn't really, but I'm looking for active people who post to encourage others.

I've never been depressed in this long. My bf ( guy of my dreams ) is ignoring me, and I'm super upset and depressed - it all boils down to my self-esteem and body.

If i was prettier, and curvier and perhaps more fit - He'd talk to me more and not with other girls.


Please add me, depressed as fk.

I want to lose weight (i already lift and workout)

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Replies

  • Posts: 273 Member
    Don't let a guy make you play the "If I were" game.
    If he loves you, you are perfect enough.
  • Posts: 644 Member
    If he is your boyfriend why is he talking to other girls? :huh:
  • Posts: 41 Member
    Don't let a guy make you play the "If I were" game.
    If he loves you, you are perfect enough.

    Love you for you and and F the haters. :-)

    Sounds like your "man" is just a boy and an idiot.
  • Posts: 2,555 Member
    No amount of weight you lose is going to make him less of a pig.......
  • Don't let a guy make you play the "If I were" game.
    If he loves you, you are perfect enough.


    I think it's more like, he love(d) me and now he's bored of me.

    Some guys are just after the chase. You know what I mean?
  • No amount of weight you lose is going to make him less of a pig.......


    Well said :( thanks for the reality check
  • Posts: 70 Member


    I think it's more like, he love(d) me and now he's bored of me.

    Some guys are just after the chase. You know what I mean?

    Let him chase then and move on. You don't deserve that ****.
  • Posts: 13
    Sorry you are going through a hard time! Just be yourself and it will get better!
  • Posts: 49
    It's not you, it's him, seriously. I gained nearly 20 pounds this last year and my boyfriend still is devoted to me, and thinks I'm sexy and fun to be around. The quality of your butt won't determine how good your relationship is, the quality of your boyfriend will; some men would cheat on a supermodel just because they're jerks.

  • Love you for you and and F the haters. :-)

    Sounds like your "man" is just a boy and an idiot.

    <3 thanks love.
  • It's not you, it's him, seriously. I gained nearly 20 pounds this last year and my boyfriend still is devoted to me, and thinks I'm sexy and fun to be around. The quality of your butt won't determine how good your relationship is, the quality of your boyfriend will; some men would cheat on a supermodel just because they're jerks.

    God this is such a true post.
    I feel all choked up, literally never sounded like a depressed piece of crap on an online forum. It's pretty sad what can happen to an average, happy, girl.

    I haven't had anything to eat I just hope I don't starve myself much longer, this seriously sucks.
  • Posts: 583 Member
    Never let other people's actions dictate how you treat yourself. I know I don't know anything about your relationship, but what I do know is that partners are meant to be supportive. If you feel he shouldn't be talking to other girls, then he shouldn't be talking to other girls. If you feel that he's ignoring you, then you both should talk about it and see what can be done to make both of you feel better. If this is the kind of relationship where open communication isn't a main focus, maybe reevaluate your situation. You're starving yourself, feeling poorly about yourself, and feeling so depressed, not because of anything internal or chemical, but because the guy you're with is not treating you as you'd like. This isn't an "unfixable problem" like clinical depression. You know what to do in that situation, deep down. It's just difficult and requires a lot of emotional strength.

    The first person you have to love and respect is yourself. Focus on yourself for a while. Love yourself. Nothing good ever comes from self loathing. Just more self loathing and exhaustion. Believe me.
  • Posts: 9 Member
    Kick his *kitten*! Or, just break up with him. He sounds like an *kitten*.
  • Lots of wise words on here, Tinker. I'd throw my two cents in but it's been said already (and better than I could say it!). Just wanted you to know that I'm sending positive thoughts your way. Hang in there and hope you feel better soon!
  • Posts: 32,662 Member
    Lots of great advice here...its not worth wasting your time and feeling like your less than you are over someone elses perception..you need to figure out how to be happy with yourself
  • Posts: 7,088 Member
    If your getting this sad over a man, its probably a good idea to end the relationship now. Love shouldn't hurt and you shouldn't feel this way. Its probably best to concentrate on loving yourself right now and then seek a relationship later on
  • Posts: 177 Member
    Regardless of your boyfriend situation, I'm pretty sure you'll get lots of friend requests. People on MFP are pretty friendly.
  • Seriously?! Have you seen you? Now stop being a whiny girl and get the f*&% on with your life :) You are the only person in control of whether you feel depressed or not.

    Oh and add me if you like this sort of hard talk haha
  • Posts: 2,850 Member
    If he's chasing other women while he's with you, then he's a poor excuse for a man and that should tell you that he's not really the man of your dreams. I believe you wouldn't want that trait in the guy of your dreams. It just means he's another guy that toyed with your emotions and once he hooked you, he moved on to the next. You deserve better and you will find it, because you are attractive as is. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :)
  • Posts: 426 Member
    It's very easy to allow men to cause us to get depressed, second guess ourselves and self loathe.....but no guy is worth that. If your relationship is doing that to you, you need to let him go and move on. We have to find happiness in ourselves before we can be happy with someone else.

    As for your depression, don't let it go too far. If you aren't eating, see a doctor. My ex dropped a bomb on me back in 2012 that after 18yrs together he decided he wants my best friend instead. They snuck around behind my back for over two months while being fake to my face. When I found out, my world came crashing down. I didn't eat for over 3 weeks (lost almost 20lbs) ....barely even drank water. I just laid in bed and watched tv and thought how horrible my life was. I thought it was all because of me....that I gained too much weight, that I wasn't pretty enough, that I wasn't exciting enough....but then when my mom forced me to go to the doctor and talk to someone, I had to go on an antidepressant and started to feel better within a week. I talked a lot to friends and family. What I came to realize was.....he didn't leave me for any of those reasons....those were MY issues with MYSELF! He left because we simply fell out of love. I had to face the fact that we had become "comfortable". It just sucks that he wasn't man enough to step up and say it wasn't working out anymore.

    What I learned from that horrible experience was.....We are all responsible for our OWN happiness. If you are not happy, maybe it is time to move on. If you have issues with self esteem, that might be something you have to work on yourself first. I think as women we have a standard of "pretty" or "sexy" in our mind, in part thanks to the media, and if we don't meet that standard, we start to feel bad about ourselves and tear ourselves down. I think every woman does it to some degree at some point in their lives. We are all pretty and sexy in our own ways. We can't let society decide if we are pretty....that is up to us!

    Try talking to him, tell him your concerns. If he is in love with you, he will want to help any way he can. If he isn't, it may give you both the opportunity to face the fact that its time to move on. Sometimes people just fall out of love....its sad but it happens. That might not be the case with you but communication is definitely key. If he doesn't know what is bothering you how can he try to help? And if he just doesn't care, then he doesnn't deserve you!

    You are beautiful! Find things you like about yourself and work on the things you don't. Know that you don't have to be pretty for anyone but yourself! :flowerforyou:
  • Never refer to your self as "just average", and don't wish that you were bony or skinny. Curvy is not a bad thing ;) . I know it's hard when you care for someone and they ignore you, I went through it when I was younger, and you know what... ? I was at my most fit then. I did the "only if" game with myself too, until I figured out ( or opened my eyes) and saw he was the one with the problem. I am now with a wonderful man, my husband for 11 years. My weight has been up & down throughout our relationship and he has only loved me more!
    Take time now to learn to love yourself for who you are, not what you look like. Exercise and eat better for you! Both for your self esteem and for your overall health.
    If you can find a yoga class in your area (that's not too expensive) try to get into that too. It is a very positive "self" loving community. Sometimes we need help from others on a constant basis to reinforce just how wonderful we are!
  • Posts: 2,212 Member
    just break up

    In, because someone had to say it.

    And, OP.... it looks like you have very little weight to lose, if any. If you're serious about getting a bit more fit, don't be eating at a mega-deficit. If you're not doing any resistance training, you should consider that. Not for him, for you. :wink:
  • Posts: 494 Member
    No amount of weight you lose is going to make him less of a pig.......

    My favorite quote is very fitting in this circumstance.

    You don't love a woman because she is beautiful. A woman is beautiful because you love her.

    He's not worth your time or energy Darlin. As hard as it is you need to move on.

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