Not-so-successful story

Rworthy · December 2010

I would like to celebrate my 20 pound loss victory, but I don't feel like I've made much progress. I feel better in my clothes, and I'm even able to wear normal sized boots (*not the wide kind I used to have to buy b/c the zipper wouldn't move over my fat calves). It's just that when I look in the mirror - or try to find before and after pictures, I think I look exactly the same. I have seen other people lose 20 in like 2 months - it took me 6-7 months. I am taller than the average MFPer on here - 5'7 1/2" and pretty overweight - I'm still considered obese. How can I stay motivated and hope to lose another 20 *and still be "overweight" in a quicker time frame than 6 months, when I still can't be photographed because I feel like I still look fat? Why would I tell my friends I've lost 20 pounds, then post a photo, causing them to think "well you're still fat honey, so better keep at it"?

This reminds me of a very sad time in my life, where I felt good about my body so I went out in a tank top and tight fitting pants, and went for a jog...I was probably 20 pounds lighter than I am NOW, back then, running for exercise in a local park, when some *kitten* in a car drove by and yelled out the window "Keep running, fatass!" That's exactly how I feel now, but only fatter.

I try to stay positive - I've made it this far without totally giving up - but my mind keeps going back to the negative. Some people lose 5 pounds and drop a dress size. I've lost 20 and wear the same size. I'm just complaining, because I know 20 pounds is significant weight loss. But I just wish I was doing better. I wish people would look at me and think I look normal. Instead I know they just see "a fat chick." I'm so tired of being "the fat chick." I'm done complaining....

lilRicki · December 2010

I feel your pain...it's taken me 5 months...and i feel like i'm working my *kitten* off. I know what it's like to have someone call you fat @ss when you're looking for something to eat at the mall...or feeling like everyone is staring at me when i go grocery shopping. you have come so far, and I read your posts, you're working harder than ever before. you are not only inspiration for me, but tons of other people on here that are going through the same thing. And you just keep going...b!tch all you want to, but don't give up.

Mirabilis · December 2010

Keep the faith. I'm down 65 lbs and I can't tell the difference. I have to learn how to see the difference.

Here's what I do know, though. When you're down about 30 lbs. women will notice. When you're down 40 lbs. men will notice.

Don't look. Take a bath. How much bigger is the bathtub? I had a bath last night and when I looked down, my legs didn't look fat!!! They look fat when I look in the mirror though. The mirror is NOT your friend.

Start taking pictures, every 10 lbs. Then line them up. You may not like them, but you will see a difference. I'm learning not to be camera shy. Fat people tend to hold the camera as a means to avoid the pictures being of them.

Hell, look at mine.

<--- over there. I just put up a new one (with the supertacky Xmas tree, and no it isn't mine). The one with me in the white blouse and the husband was my start pic. The one in the bathroom was taken a month ago.

Ding724 · December 2010

I'm sorry that your struggling...all that I can say is DON'T GIVE UP! Keep working hard towards your goals & don't worry about what other people think about you! Focus on how YOU feel & what YOU think about yourself. Just keep doing what you know will help you to be healthier & lose weight & soon you will be dropping those dress/pants sizes. Hang in there

ZebraGlee78 · December 2010

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way when I do have weight loss successes. I'm having a major setback right now.

nolachick · December 2010

awww come on! don't say that! i know pretty much how u feel since it took me over a year to lose 25lbs! so imagine how i feel. however i am not able to say that i look forward to working out, i indulge but i'm not a binger anymore, i know the difference between healthy and unhealthy food. look inside i'm sure u have made a lot of progress in your knowledge of diet and exercise, your endurance during your workouts and hopefully your own self confidence. perhaps you have lost weight but still need to lose inches, try to focus on inch-blasting workouts suchs as running, turbo jam, the shred. those may not let u lose lbs but they sure do make u lose inches. so if you're trying to not just weight less but look smaller, research on those types of workouts that will melt off inches.

don't be discouraged, just try something new

kendradl · December 2010

Your 20 pnd weight loss is awesome I wish I could say I had lost 20 pnds and I am sure you look awesome as well. It sucks that you are struggling but I am wondering if with your 20 pnd loss you have also gained some muscle and that is why you are still in the same size also you look at yourself in the mirro every day and probably don't see a difference I am sure everyone else out there would see a fabulous and magnificent difference. Keep at it you are worth it!!!

eleanoreb · December 2010

Awww!!! Don't give up, you are doing great! I know what you mean, sometimes you feel like I have come far but still such a long way to go.. these things do take a long time so have to be patient and just keep at it.

Don't give up!!

Also you are your harshest critic, probably way too hard on yourself. I'm sure the difference is still noticeable

missymoo2 · December 2010

I hope that you will stop worrying about what your friends think or what some *kitten* driving by in a park has to say, and focus on the fact that YOU have lost 20 pounds, that YOU are accomplishing something for yourself, that it will take time, that will get there in your own time, not someone elses. Just try to stay motivated and remember that you are capable of anything. Good Luck!

TXmama · December 2010

20 pounds in six months is just under one pound a week, which if you are doing that consistently, is GREAT! But I know what you mean. It has taken me about that long to lose 20 pounds as well, and when I see some other folks who can drop 20 pounds in half that time I do get frustrated, and even jealous. And people who say mean things to strangers are just horrible people and we have to hold on to the belief that "what goes around, comes around"... they'll get theirs, sometime.

You have a LOT of support and a lot of cheerleaders here, so keep the faith... this is a marathon and not a sprint, as I remind myself frequently. I am not as far along as I wanted to be by this time, but I HAVE made progress, and we DO need to celebrate all our victories. So, congratulations on your weight loss, and know you are NOT alone, you've got us!

lastchance2010 · December 2010

First of all...20lbs loss is a SUCCESS...second of all that jack *kitten* in the car said wut he said cuz he's a punk *kitten* with nothing better to do beside talk crap!!!:grumble: I almost thought this was me writing that story.:noway: I can totally feel ya. i've lost bout 16lbs

and tho i feel it in small victory's they are there. I can't notice either...cuz the more i look at myself the more mad i get cuz i can't c it. But...u keep on going...get over these mole hills and before you know it...the punk *kitten* that hollered out the window will be the punk *kitten* that will be blowin the horn to give you the ol winky poo! Stay strong and know that weight loss whether 2lbs or 20lbs it lbs in the right direction...the weight didn't get there overnite so naturally it won't go away over nite..unnnnfortunately. So keep your head held HIGH cuz you ARE worth it and you can do it!!! :flowerforyou:

nelsaphine · December 2010

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way when I do have weight loss successes. I'm having a major setback right now.

Don't think of a the 'setback'! You've lost 61lbs!!! That is a really big number, celebrate it and focus on it...think of how far you've come. You WILL succeed

DJJW · December 2010

Congrats on your 20! You earned it! And if you feel like its not an accomplishment IT IS! Even if you can't tell the difference, be sure to know other people do. You look at yourself everyday. Its hard to notice it. So stay possitive and keep working, your next goal will be great!

Chavtastic · December 2010

It's very hard. In the perfect world it would come off as fast as it goes on (weight i mean). I have the same problem. Some people are gifted with these miraculous losses and then there are people like us who have to work to within an inch of our sanity and tolerance and we don't look that different. I would suggest staying with it and you ARE losing weight regardless and that's always a plus. Part of your problem might be that you are getting 'smaller' but still the same shape. a round ball is still a round ball just smaller. Start doing complex exercises that will even you out more. If your bottom is too big maintain the cardio so that it get smaller but also jack up your upper body workouts so that it becomes more toned and balances you out overall. Cardio will make you smaller all over but if you don't strength train you will stay the same shape. You won't ever get close to your body looking similar to Jessica Biel or Alba or whomever. Just you but a bit smaller. I think this is another reason some people (especially men) are prone to see better results. Cardio is good for the heart and weight loss, but strength training reshapes (defines) and keeps your metabolism going longer b/c more muscle (which always looks better under skin). Sorry about the tangent. Keep at it you're doing great.

nelsaphine · December 2010

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way when I do have weight loss successes. I'm having a major setback right now.

Don't think of a the 'setback'! You've lost 61lbs!!! That is a really big number, celebrate it and focus on it...think of how far you've come. You WILL succeed

I'm sorry this post wasn't suppossed to go for you...my bad...I'm really sorry

But you too, don't get discouraged this is a battle, and we have to fight it everyday. Some days are good some not so good but what matters is that you stay on track. You can do it!!

Fliegenschwein · December 2010

20lb loss is certainly a success. Well done for that and keep going and good luck :flowerforyou:

muth3rluvx2 · December 2010

R,

It is terrible that people are treating you that way!! I am so sorry that this has happened to you an dcaused you to feel so unappreciated for who you are!!

Unfortunately, in the weight loss game, height/size make a HUGE impact on what the weight looks like - going on and coming off. I'm significantly shorter than you at 5'1", so for me, 5 lbs has a giant impact. It actually brings me up an entire size! FIVE FRIGGIN' POUNDS!!! I'm sure to someone tall, like yourself, 5 lbs would be like... an ounce. And it's going to be the same way for how it looks coming off.

As far as the *kitten* in the car, they were probably just punk teens and Karma will take its toll. Know that you're doing right by yourself and you're walking the high road! It's hard to maintain when people are so insensitive and cruel, but keep your chin up, send them a blessing for their mean-ness because really, someday, it WILL come back to them and they'll wonder why. You, on the other hand, with your perserverence and kindness shall succeed, overcome and land on top.

It's not going to be easy. Clearly you get that. But it will happen. I'd guess in another 10-20 lbs, you'll start to see some differences. Are you measuring also? You might find that to be more comforting to your psyche than the mirror or the scale for now. Seeing THOSE successes rather than focusing on your perception of failure or insufficiency. You're doing great. Really... I've been here for almost a year and on the wagon, off the wagon, on the wagon, off th ewagon.. I've lost a whoppin' 7 lbs from my heaviest, up a total of 14 lbs (it's 7 of that that I've lost) since joining.... so I still have 7 to lose to get back to my *original* start weight. Oh yippee. My counter only says 5 because of that discrepency. In any case, 20 lbs in 6 months sounds about right, to be honest. That's about a lb a week, give or take. That's awesome! Just think, after 1 year, you'll have shed 40 lbs! And as you gain muscle, your body will be more efficient and it'll start to come off easier... until those dreaded last 10 lbs, of course. :-)

Keep your chin up. You ARE doing this - for YOU. Screw the *kitten*. They're everywhere. :-)

nelsaphine · December 2010

I would like to celebrate my 20 pound loss victory, but I don't feel like I've made much progress. I feel better in my clothes, and I'm even able to wear normal sized boots (*not the wide kind I used to have to buy b/c the zipper wouldn't move over my fat calves). It's just that when I look in the mirror - or try to find before and after pictures, I think I look exactly the same. I have seen other people lose 20 in like 2 months - it took me 6-7 months. I am taller than the average MFPer on here - 5'7 1/2" and pretty overweight - I'm still considered obese. How can I stay motivated and hope to lose another 20 *and still be "overweight" in a quicker time frame than 6 months, when I still can't be photographed because I feel like I still look fat? Why would I tell my friends I've lost 20 pounds, then post a photo, causing them to think "well you're still fat honey, so better keep at it"?

This reminds me of a very sad time in my life, where I felt good about my body so I went out in a tank top and tight fitting pants, and went for a jog...I was probably 20 pounds lighter than I am NOW, back then, running for exercise in a local park, when some *kitten* in a car drove by and yelled out the window "Keep running, fatass!" That's exactly how I feel now, but only fatter.

I try to stay positive - I've made it this far without totally giving up - but my mind keeps going back to the negative. Some people lose 5 pounds and drop a dress size. I've lost 20 and wear the same size. I'm just complaining, because I know 20 pounds is significant weight loss. But I just wish I was doing better. I wish people would look at me and think I look normal. Instead I know they just see "a fat chick." I'm so tired of being "the fat chick." I'm done complaining....

20 lbs is 20 lbs!! Celebrate it! We are all different, what works some doesn't for others. Just don't give up and most importantly THINK and ACT positive!! Don't ever tell youself you can't do this and don't ever say again "it's only 20 lbs". You can do this!!!

Rworthy · December 2010

You won't ever get close to your body looking similar to Jessica Biel or Alba or whomever.

I don't want to be perfect, but closer to Biel or Albo than Simpson!

Dafrog · December 2010

20 lbs is awesome. i am sure if you had of taken some before and after pics you would be able to see some major differences. I really havent gone down a size with a 10 pound lost although I have noticed that I dont have as much sticking and hanging over my jeans (aka the muffin top). This time around I have noticed that I am losing more in my thighs than my stomach. My suggestion would be to take some body measurements and redo in a month.

Also most of what we think ppl think about us is only our minds running a muck.

Rworthy · December 2010

Thanks to everyone for chiming in. Everyone is right. I am doing weight training, heavy duty cardio and yoga once a week. Total workout time is between 3 - 5 hours per week. I do measure myself regularly. I have lost about a pound per week since joining a gym about a month ago. I just don't see much progress. I lost pounds and inches at first, and I know I'm gaining muscle b/c I push myself to the absolute max everytime I workout, I'm just jealous of others who have such huge successes...*who are usually the people who turn their noses up at people like me...the people who tell me how they gave up this or that, or started walking for 30 minutes twice a week and "have just seen the weight FALL off." My weight isn't going to "fall off" ever. I will get very little progress after a week or two...but that's just me. I have the body type of a man basically. Very muscular (buried underneath this annoying layer of fat). I know I'm never going to be Hollywood thin, or even close. I just want to be. That's all.

CDresp · December 2010

You might consider going to the doctor and having your TSH (thyroid) levels checked and yoru hormone levels. There could very well be a medical reason your weight loss is so slow. OR, you could not be counting your intake accurately or measuring your exeercise right as well. Lots of reasons. Don't give up.......see what you can find out and keep pushing. One thing for sure, you will NOT loose weight if you go back to the old lifestyle. You will just have it to loose later down the road. :flowerforyou:

JeanneTops · December 2010

Once, after I had lost about 60 pounds, I foolishly answered someone who asked me how much weight I had lost. She looked at me in astonishment and said, "NOOOOO, you never looked that fat to me." The moral of the story is that you don't really know what people are thinking about how you look. The truth is that almost everybody is thinking about themselves, not about us. If they're happy with the way they look, then that's what they're thinking: "I look cute/thin/sexy". If there's an audio in your head that keeps saying "Other people think I look like a fatass" then you're thinking that about yourself. You have to change the tape - "Other people are thinking about themselves, not about me."

Ok, there are always going to be some idiots who think its funny to say something mean. Whoever said it to you has probably completely forgotten the whole thing. That's right - that person doesn't remember you at all. You're the one who is keeping that memory alive so you are the only one who can chuck it out of your life.

Why is this important? Because when you reach your goal weight - and you will if you stay as persistent as you are - you are going to get compliments for about one month and then nobody's going to mention how you look again. That's right - months or years of work on your part and one month's worth of compliments is the limit. After that, they'll all go back to thinking about themselves. So you need to start working on changing that audio in your head. You need to have a constant mantra running - "I feel great, I look great, I am great" - before you hit goal weight or you're going to be very disappointed.

It's the truth - nobody cares as much about how we look as we do ourselves. You are the only one who can change how you feel about yourself. Start being positive about it today. If you work at thinking positively about yourself as hard as you're working to lose weight, then by the time you hit goal weight, you'll feel great and nothing anybody says will change that.

Rworthy · December 2010

I feel your pain...it's taken me 5 months...and i feel like i'm working my *kitten* off. I know what it's like to have someone call you fat @ss when you're looking for something to eat at the mall...or feeling like everyone is staring at me when i go grocery shopping. you have come so far, and I read your posts, you're working harder than ever before. you are not only inspiration for me, but tons of other people on here that are going through the same thing. And you just keep going...b!tch all you want to, but don't give up.

Thanks, Gillian - you're right. You inspire me as well, we're probably both the same size and have the same goal. We will get there one day!

brittlynne3579 · December 2010

I would like to NINJA KICK the guy who called you that from the car.

One time I was at a bar and accidentally knocked a drink over. I don't even drink, it was just crowded and I got bumped. This guy turns around and GLARES at me and then when I turn and walk away he said 'Fat ***** knocking my drink over'....oh.hell.no.

I turned around and that coward wouldn't call me that to my face for a million dollars. I HATE these people who are mean and nasty for no reason. Especially because they may not be fat but they obviously suck at life. Not to mention they may have a big nose, hairy butt, small penis, etc. Like, who out there REALLY thinks they are perfect enough to say that to a complete stranger??

Blinding Rage :explode:

hpsnickers1 · December 2010

Just keep on truckin'. We see our bodies every day so it's hard to see change.

Chavtastic · December 2010

The Jessica Biel, Alba comment was in regards to if you only do cardio but don't strength train your body won't start to take shape to them as strength training is a HUGE part of their fitness regime. Not that you or anyone else could 'never look like them'. sorry for the confusion.

hpsnickers1 · December 2010

I would like to NINJA KICK the guy who called you that from the car.

One time I was at a bar and accidentally knocked a drink over. I don't even drink, it was just crowded and I got bumped. This guy turns around and GLARES at me and then when I turn and walk away he said 'Fat ***** knocking my drink over'....oh.hell.no.

I turned around and that coward wouldn't call me that to my face for a million dollars. I HATE these people who are mean and nasty for no reason. Especially because they may not be fat but they obviously suck at life. Not to mention they may have a big nose, hairy butt, small penis, etc. Like, who out there REALLY thinks they are perfect enough to say that to a complete stranger??

Blinding Rage :explode:

What's so sad in this day and age is there are so many people out there that think they are perfect. I know a young girl who is skinny. Not slim or trim - just skinny. She thinks she is all that just because she is skinny. I've seen her in a bikini. She is nasty. There is no muscle tone what so ever. Everything on her jiggles when she walks. Her bones stick out everywhere. I'll take the 10-15 extra pounds on my body over that stick any day! My man agrees with me.

I still believe most men out there like some meat on a women. Who wants to bump against bones! I think my *kitten* is fat but my man loves it. He is the only person out there who opinions matters to me. And he will love me no matter how big I am.

bluiz13 · December 2010

come on.......you have to celebrate every success......20lbs lighter is 20lbs lighter....hello you could have stayed your same miserable self or even worse gained 20lbs.....

i have lost almost 53lbs in just under 3 years...don't you think i kick myself occasionally for not having lost more???? of course i do - i lost about 23 the first year, 7 the second year and 23 so far this year....i would loved to have had all 53 off the first year like my original goal BUT the best part of my journey to date is that i have changed my life to make this a way of life....i am making changes that i can live with....i'm not crash dieting, eating like a waif, never indulging....i'm eating a balanced calorie day with the right foods and doing the right amount of exercise to get this weight off ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it didnt take you 5 months to gain whatever it is you need to lose to be where you want to be, it's not going to take 5 months to lose the weight either.....losing weight is NOT the objective here....changing how you live your life so you can stay at a healthy weight and be happy IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

celebrate every pound, every 1/2 pound, every ounce, every inch, every non scale victory - like your towel fitting around your body better, your shoes being looser, your pants falling down around your ankles, being able to run a mile, being able to climb all the stairs without huffing and puffing, being able to play with your kids if you have any.....these are the things to celebrate.....no victory is toooooo small in this battle to right our lives......

i will celebrate with you if you want to become my friend....each day is a new challenge and i for one am up for it...are you???

Rworthy · December 2010

I still believe most men out there like some meat on a women. Who wants to bump against bones! I think my *kitten* is fat but my man loves it. He is the only person out there who opinions matters to me. And will love me no matter how big I am.

I agree, but there are equally as many of them who think Cameron Diaz is god and Bristol Palin is fat. I bet Bristol looks absolutely normal in real life. The other day my boyfriend's friend said he didn't understand why ppl think the Kardasians are hot -- they just have huge *kitten* - I was quite offended. I think people are way too damn critical of women and our society isn't doing anything to change that. Oh well, different argument for a different time.

Losingforlife1 · December 2010

Just keep at it. I'm not sure what you do for exercise maybe work in more if you can. Remember you're doing this for you eff other ppl. I felt self conscious for the longest time b4 I joined a gym cuz I was 346 lbs when I joined about 136 lbs over weight. You know what most ppl are there to get their workouts in and don't even notice me and if they do eff them. Since I've started working out losing weight I feel better, clothes fit a bit better, my back/knees don't hurt as much.

Keep the focus that you're doing this for yourself. I'd rather just put the exercise/diet in now to lose weight is better then sitting in your living room depressed cramming ice cream down your throat. Oh and 20 lbs is a success I just weighed in today and I'm now down 21 lbs, I feel like a success even tho I'm 338 lbs.

Not-so-successful story

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