Low self esteem

vivora
vivora Posts: 1
in Introduce Yourself
My boyfriend told me I'm overweight. It completely crushed me. I always struggled with my weight growing up. I was bulimic and it recently started again. I know I gained maybe 10-15 pounds. I'm 5'3" and last time I weighed myself I was 138. At my lightest I was 120 but never went under that my whole life. The comment he made consumes my mind and I tear up thinking about it. It's been a lifelong struggle and the person who is supposed to love me for me has made me feel the worst I have felt about myself for a long time. It took years to build my confidence up and now I feel it's completely torn down again. How do I overcome this and stop obsessing over my fat? I feel so disgusting I don't even want to look in a mirror.

Replies

  • vaishnavijayasankar
    vaishnavijayasankar Posts: 33 Member
    hey :) the best way to overcome this problem is that just don't listen to what anybody has to say to u regarding your weight!!!!!!
    just assume that your boyfriend is behaving like this so that u can loose weight :)
    take it in a positive stride and just dont concentrate on his words.....just work towards it :)
    initial stages its hard but you'll overcome it soon when ul start seeing results :)
    and on MFP you have so many people to motivate u :)
    so start your journey now!!!!!!
    wish you luck :)
  • EyeOTS
    EyeOTS Posts: 362 Member
    That's... like a normal weight even using the BMI's calculator.
  • daw0518
    daw0518 Posts: 459 Member
    Unless you have a super tiny frame, 138 isn't overweight for your height - it's in the normal range. I guess it depends on the context of how/why he said it, but I wouldn't date someone who made me feel bad about myself, no matter my weight. It's one thing to have loved ones be brutally honest with you when you're very underweight or overweight & there are legit medical concerns, but otherwise, my size shouldn't be something that ever needs to be discussed.
  • BabyfaceFaison
    BabyfaceFaison Posts: 31
    First of all... don't you ever stay with someone who can't love you for YOU. Whether your 300lbs or 130 something he should respect you because your the prize and dont you ever forget that. You are highly favored by God (sorry if your not Christian) and can do anything you set your mind to.

    I would def have a talk with him about how this made you feel. Let him know that you dont like him joking around when it comes to your weight.. If he's really that intrigued by it maybe he should start walking around the neighborhood or working out with you.

    Keep your head up hun, you are BEAUTIFUL!

    Feel free to add for motivation.
  • Bagelsan
    Bagelsan Posts: 49
    It sounds like you're at a healthy weight, and he's full of bull****. You're not fat or disgusting (you wouldn't be disgusting even if you *were* fat, and you're not!) and he's completely out of line. This sounds like a really good time to get a professional involved, if you're feeling so down on yourself -- getting caught up in a mental downward spiral is not a good direction to go. You don't need weight loss, you need better self-esteem (and a nicer boyfriend.)
  • GhostGIrl66
    GhostGIrl66 Posts: 26
    First of all a great big hug.
    Second - what makes him an expert? Bleh! Throw his comment in the bin. What a silly boy he is.
    Third - we are so much more than just our bodies - never judge your self worth by how much you do or don't weigh.
    Fourth - be kind to yourself. You know bullemia isn't good for you - seek the help you need to get rid of that from your life once again.
    Fifth - when I was a child I was taught my catechism. In it were these words in question and answer form:
    Q: Who loves me?
    A: God loves me.
    Q: Why does God love me?
    A: Because I am so loveable.
    We are all worthy of being loved. There are no conditions, no first you have to be this or that, or do this or do that. Who you are, as you are right now, is a person who is worthy of love from yourself and from others. Take care of yourself and give yourself the love and care that you deserve.
  • JoJo__Fit
    JoJo__Fit Posts: 258 Member
    I'm 5'3 138lbs and I don't consider myself over weight!

    If you are tired of the way you feel, make changes & be positive!!!!

    don't let anyone tell you different
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    138 at 5'3" is at the upper end of the normal range, so hopefully none of the comments on this thread have made you feel wrong for wanting to drop a few pounds. Since you are technically within the normal range, regardless of whether you want to maintain or lose at this point, not only is your boyfriend's comment rude and obnoxious, it's inaccurate. You aren't overweight. And even if you were, that's disrespectful of him. Don't let one jerk's comment tear down years of work spent learning to accept yourself. Let him know how his comment affected you and that you expect better from him in the future. :flowerforyou:
  • erinbuberinxo
    erinbuberinxo Posts: 64
    He called you overweight? You should call him single.
  • jocelynmarie86
    jocelynmarie86 Posts: 6 Member
    He sounds like a jerk. Something must be missing from his life. Don't listen to him. I would kill to be 138 right now!! Never be with someone who doesn't love you for YOU no matter what your weight.
  • jocelynmarie86
    jocelynmarie86 Posts: 6 Member
    He called you overweight? You should call him single.

    Amen.
  • nickpapagorgio
    nickpapagorgio Posts: 16
    tell him he's a little too skinny, and maybe he should bulk up a bit
  • stanleypoobrick
    stanleypoobrick Posts: 71 Member
    He called you overweight? You should call him single.

    Amen.
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  • meemaw423
    meemaw423 Posts: 119 Member
    Men! They can say the dumbest things, But let me just say if he was trying to tell you how to look then it's time you tell him where to stuff it. If a man isn't happy with you the way you are then the fact is it's not a good relationship and chances are it will get worse. DON"T STICK AROUND!

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