Hi guys. I'm pretty hopeless.

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xTinkerToned
xTinkerToned Posts: 9
in Introduce Yourself
I know I probably won't get requests, or won't find people to add.

I wish I could find people around Ontario, great if it's mississauga. Don't know why location matters, it doesn't really, but I'm looking for active people who post to encourage others.

I've never been depressed in this long. My bf ( guy of my dreams ) is ignoring me, and I'm super upset and depressed - it all boils down to my self-esteem and body.

If i was prettier, and curvier and perhaps more fit - He'd talk to me more and not with other girls.


Please add me, depressed as fk.

I want to lose weight (i already lift and workout)
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Replies

  • livingfortheone
    livingfortheone Posts: 273 Member
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    Don't let a guy make you play the "If I were" game.
    If he loves you, you are perfect enough.
  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
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    If he is your boyfriend why is he talking to other girls? :huh:
  • timodawson
    timodawson Posts: 41 Member
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    Don't let a guy make you play the "If I were" game.
    If he loves you, you are perfect enough.

    Love you for you and and F the haters. :-)

    Sounds like your "man" is just a boy and an idiot.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    No amount of weight you lose is going to make him less of a pig.......
  • xTinkerToned
    xTinkerToned Posts: 9
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    Don't let a guy make you play the "If I were" game.
    If he loves you, you are perfect enough.


    I think it's more like, he love(d) me and now he's bored of me.

    Some guys are just after the chase. You know what I mean?
  • xTinkerToned
    xTinkerToned Posts: 9
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    No amount of weight you lose is going to make him less of a pig.......


    Well said :( thanks for the reality check
  • pilatesXOpixie
    pilatesXOpixie Posts: 70 Member
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    Don't let a guy make you play the "If I were" game.
    If he loves you, you are perfect enough.


    I think it's more like, he love(d) me and now he's bored of me.

    Some guys are just after the chase. You know what I mean?

    Let him chase then and move on. You don't deserve that ****.
  • spader72
    spader72 Posts: 13
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    Sorry you are going through a hard time! Just be yourself and it will get better!
  • Bagelsan
    Bagelsan Posts: 49
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    It's not you, it's him, seriously. I gained nearly 20 pounds this last year and my boyfriend still is devoted to me, and thinks I'm sexy and fun to be around. The quality of your butt won't determine how good your relationship is, the quality of your boyfriend will; some men would cheat on a supermodel just because they're jerks.
  • xTinkerToned
    xTinkerToned Posts: 9
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    Love you for you and and F the haters. :-)

    Sounds like your "man" is just a boy and an idiot.

    <3 thanks love.
  • xTinkerToned
    xTinkerToned Posts: 9
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    It's not you, it's him, seriously. I gained nearly 20 pounds this last year and my boyfriend still is devoted to me, and thinks I'm sexy and fun to be around. The quality of your butt won't determine how good your relationship is, the quality of your boyfriend will; some men would cheat on a supermodel just because they're jerks.

    God this is such a true post.
    I feel all choked up, literally never sounded like a depressed piece of crap on an online forum. It's pretty sad what can happen to an average, happy, girl.

    I haven't had anything to eat I just hope I don't starve myself much longer, this seriously sucks.
  • crepes_
    crepes_ Posts: 583 Member
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    Never let other people's actions dictate how you treat yourself. I know I don't know anything about your relationship, but what I do know is that partners are meant to be supportive. If you feel he shouldn't be talking to other girls, then he shouldn't be talking to other girls. If you feel that he's ignoring you, then you both should talk about it and see what can be done to make both of you feel better. If this is the kind of relationship where open communication isn't a main focus, maybe reevaluate your situation. You're starving yourself, feeling poorly about yourself, and feeling so depressed, not because of anything internal or chemical, but because the guy you're with is not treating you as you'd like. This isn't an "unfixable problem" like clinical depression. You know what to do in that situation, deep down. It's just difficult and requires a lot of emotional strength.

    The first person you have to love and respect is yourself. Focus on yourself for a while. Love yourself. Nothing good ever comes from self loathing. Just more self loathing and exhaustion. Believe me.
  • idkimfathelp
    idkimfathelp Posts: 9 Member
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    Kick his *kitten*! Or, just break up with him. He sounds like an *kitten*.
  • superdeformedchibi
    superdeformedchibi Posts: 23
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    Lots of wise words on here, Tinker. I'd throw my two cents in but it's been said already (and better than I could say it!). Just wanted you to know that I'm sending positive thoughts your way. Hang in there and hope you feel better soon!
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
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    Lots of great advice here...its not worth wasting your time and feeling like your less than you are over someone elses perception..you need to figure out how to be happy with yourself
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
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    If your getting this sad over a man, its probably a good idea to end the relationship now. Love shouldn't hurt and you shouldn't feel this way. Its probably best to concentrate on loving yourself right now and then seek a relationship later on
  • Rak0ribz
    Rak0ribz Posts: 177 Member
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    Regardless of your boyfriend situation, I'm pretty sure you'll get lots of friend requests. People on MFP are pretty friendly.
  • martinking1983
    martinking1983 Posts: 36
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    Seriously?! Have you seen you? Now stop being a whiny girl and get the f*&% on with your life :) You are the only person in control of whether you feel depressed or not.

    Oh and add me if you like this sort of hard talk haha
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
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    If he's chasing other women while he's with you, then he's a poor excuse for a man and that should tell you that he's not really the man of your dreams. I believe you wouldn't want that trait in the guy of your dreams. It just means he's another guy that toyed with your emotions and once he hooked you, he moved on to the next. You deserve better and you will find it, because you are attractive as is. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :)
  • MissKim78
    MissKim78 Posts: 426 Member
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    It's very easy to allow men to cause us to get depressed, second guess ourselves and self loathe.....but no guy is worth that. If your relationship is doing that to you, you need to let him go and move on. We have to find happiness in ourselves before we can be happy with someone else.

    As for your depression, don't let it go too far. If you aren't eating, see a doctor. My ex dropped a bomb on me back in 2012 that after 18yrs together he decided he wants my best friend instead. They snuck around behind my back for over two months while being fake to my face. When I found out, my world came crashing down. I didn't eat for over 3 weeks (lost almost 20lbs) ....barely even drank water. I just laid in bed and watched tv and thought how horrible my life was. I thought it was all because of me....that I gained too much weight, that I wasn't pretty enough, that I wasn't exciting enough....but then when my mom forced me to go to the doctor and talk to someone, I had to go on an antidepressant and started to feel better within a week. I talked a lot to friends and family. What I came to realize was.....he didn't leave me for any of those reasons....those were MY issues with MYSELF! He left because we simply fell out of love. I had to face the fact that we had become "comfortable". It just sucks that he wasn't man enough to step up and say it wasn't working out anymore.

    What I learned from that horrible experience was.....We are all responsible for our OWN happiness. If you are not happy, maybe it is time to move on. If you have issues with self esteem, that might be something you have to work on yourself first. I think as women we have a standard of "pretty" or "sexy" in our mind, in part thanks to the media, and if we don't meet that standard, we start to feel bad about ourselves and tear ourselves down. I think every woman does it to some degree at some point in their lives. We are all pretty and sexy in our own ways. We can't let society decide if we are pretty....that is up to us!

    Try talking to him, tell him your concerns. If he is in love with you, he will want to help any way he can. If he isn't, it may give you both the opportunity to face the fact that its time to move on. Sometimes people just fall out of love....its sad but it happens. That might not be the case with you but communication is definitely key. If he doesn't know what is bothering you how can he try to help? And if he just doesn't care, then he doesnn't deserve you!

    You are beautiful! Find things you like about yourself and work on the things you don't. Know that you don't have to be pretty for anyone but yourself! :flowerforyou:

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