I am stressing! Help Please!

I am new at this and trying very hard to eat healthy and shed about 15 to 20lbs. I have a calorie limit of 1200 daily...and haven't even been reaching that for the past few days... I still have several hundred calories left at the end of each day...which I thought was a good thing. I eat grilled chicken and baked fish with veggies and fruit and drink only water... I have not weighed myself and have no idea how much I weigh. I feel better about myself however. I have been exercising as well...which again helps burn the calories I consume during the day.
Tonight my family and I are supposed to go out to eat for my brothers birthday. We are going to a seafood bar and grill and I know it will be very hard for me to control my cravings! I have looked online at the menu...and they have jambalaya and some other really yummy dishes...and I want to eat them so bad!! But I am scared it will mess up my progress over the past few days. :( Should I go and just eat a salad and some grilled fish again or treat myself to whatever I want? There will also be ice-cream cake! :( Someone help me! I don't know what to do!!!
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Replies

  • My name is Lindsey by the way! I am 23 years old and am new at this! :)
  • Doskymom
    Doskymom Posts: 6
    Go out tonight and have fun. Celebrate with your family and eat what you want I wouldn't worry about this one meal - you can get right back on the diet tomorrow. You need to treat yourself once in awhile. If 80% of your days are good and 20% are days where you cheat, you will still win the diet wars.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    one meal out wont make you fat, just liek one salad wont make you thin... enjoy the birthday celebration, a few extra cals wont hurt, especially when it sounds like you're under eatign as it is.

    with 15lbs to lose, you should be losing 0.5-1lb per week maximum, do theres no need to eat 1200 cals or less.
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
    If you don't know how much you weigh, how do you know you need to lose 15-20lbs?

    Also, 1200 calories is the bare minimum your body needs just to function. You shouldn't be going under this at all. If you are exercising you should eat back at least some of those calories you burn as well - your body needs fuel.

    Don't stress out over food. You can eat whatever you want to eat and still lose if you do it in moderation. If you mess up one day and go over, it's still ok. Just pick yourself up the next day and move on.
  • TomTomato
    TomTomato Posts: 223
    Not meeting a goal of 1,200 cals/day means you are probably eating too little. That could slow your metabolism and be counter-productive. I also believe your goal may be too low. As far as exceeding your goal, you should look more at the average over a few days, that way if you are a little over one day, a couple days being slightly under should balance it out. But by all means, perform some calculations to ensure your goal is healthy and reasonable and try to stay close to it.
  • Singlejules
    Singlejules Posts: 55 Member
    Hi
    If it was me, i would go and enjoy myself. I would eat all of what I like but in moderation. Then get back on track the following day. You may gain a few pounds , but you have to enjoy what your doing or you will come off plan. Maybe exercise a bit more to cover extra calories. Dont worry or you will not enjoy your healthy eating. Have a good time :)
  • Thank you for the advice everyone! I will make sure to start eating more to reach that 1200 calorie intake for sure! Like I said...I am just very new at all of this! I appreciate all of your advice! :)
  • Vsera
    Vsera Posts: 10
    I believe to take everything in moderation. Don't eat everything is sight, just have a little. With myself If I completely cut sweets out, I will have issues! ha So ill allow myself to have a piece of dove chocolate or something. Hope this helps! Good luck!
  • klschuchardt
    klschuchardt Posts: 10 Member
    Lindsey - welcome first of all! :) And I agree with a few others here. Go out and enjoy yourself. Personally, I have found that the longer I deprive myself of "treats" the more I want them and then end up binging on them. But if I let myself have a little once in awhile, I get my fix and can move on. But I also agree with a few others that is sounds like you aren't eating enough if you are under 1200 calories each day. You're probably craving more of everything because you're just plain hungry. Good luck! :)
  • BlanketII
    BlanketII Posts: 11
    Hi Lindsey,

    I have lots of thoughts about your post but first and foremost I would suggest you go out and celebrate your brothers birthday without any guilt about what you eat. It sounds like you've been working very hard and eating well and one meal will not make you fat (just as someone pointed out one healthy meal will not make you thin!) Food should be enjoyed but for the majority of the time we need to monitor what we eat so we do not get into bad habits without realising it. I know I can overeat all the wrong foods and I had no idea how many calories I could consume so easily so this site is helpful for that.

    I'm a bit confused about how you know you only need to eat 1200 calories if you don't know what you weigh. When I joined this site I had to give my height and weight to help it work out my calorie intake. If you don't know how heavy you are, how do you know you need to lose 15-20lbs. That's quite a lot of weight to want to shift, especially if you don't need to. (By the way, this is rhetorical mumblings, I'm not asking you to state how much you weigh if you don't want to!!)
    Also re calories, having so many left over by the end of the day doesn't sound too healthy. While eating less will help you lose weight your body will also go into starvation mode if you don't eat enough and this is when it stores every ounce of fat possible to try and keep you healthy. Maybe eating a bit more and doing some good exercise would be a more helpful way to shift weight if you need to, and tone up.

    For what it's worth I would go and enjoy a meal of my choice tonight and be happy and laugh a lot with my family. Then tomorrow I would wake up happy and think what lovely memories I had helped to make. In that mood you're much more likely to want to go for a nice walk or cook some healthy breakfast than if you're miserable because you feel you missed out.

    Whatever you choose, have a fab night! :o)
  • fast_eddie_72
    fast_eddie_72 Posts: 719 Member
    Not meeting a goal of 1,200 cals/day means you are probably eating too little.

    Or eating more than you realize. It's unlikely anyone would be "hundreds of calories under" a 1,200 calorie goal for any period of time unless they had an eating disorder.

    If you're not using a food scale, you might consider getting one. I know I wasn't accurately logging my food before I got mine. I was surprised how far off my estimates were.
  • KristineTrinity
    KristineTrinity Posts: 2 Member
    Don't stress, eat the jumbalaya and have fun. You have the calories to spare. I've been told that if you eat under the 1200/day calorie limit you put your body into starvation mode and your metabolism slows down so you still don't lose weight. I had the same issue, wondering why I suddenly put on weight while not really eating much. Still struggling myself to find a good healthy balance each day. I'm a coffee fanatic and like it sweet so my sugar intake is too high. I've also been on a hot apple cider kick recently and that has too much sugar. So it looks like I'm going to have to cut that out and severly limit my coffee. Also struggling with getting the right balance of carbs/fat/protein. Using the online version is helping with that since I can see the break down and where I'm going off the rails. Good luck and keep with it. And enjoy the birthday party.
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
    OP, update your goals. 1200 isn't appropriate for what you're doing. Set it to .5lb per week, weigh/measure/log accurately. Profit.
  • PhoenixWithoutAshes1
    PhoenixWithoutAshes1 Posts: 99 Member
    Welcome aboard! I think you will find an abundance of help and support here! This site is all about learning to eat healthy and how to reap the benefits of that, such as weight loss and better overall health. As for going out tonight, go and enjoy yourself! It's one day, one meal really. It's okay to treat yurself once in a while, if you don't you'll just start to resent what you are doing!
  • I have been eating a banana for breakfast...and drinking close to 10 16.9 oz of water daily... I eat fish or chicken with a steamed vegetable for lunch... and then another banana a few hours later...then an apple...then some sunflower seeds... possibly some blueberries and cucumbers as well...just snacks throughout the day....then at night I eat chicken or fish with a veggie and like some whole wheat rice... but I have been trying to eat smaller portions. I don't know. I certainly do not what to be unhealthy about this... I just want to be comfortable in my own skin again! I thought I could diet to get to the size I would like and then just be careful and monitor it... I normally eat McDonalds 3 times a week...and eat very unhealthy....cookies before bed... chips...sodas... so just not eating all of that stuff and exercising is a huge deal for me. haha! I appreciate all of your advice and help! You guys make me feel not so alone!
  • suey2k1
    suey2k1 Posts: 10 Member
    Reply to Fast_Eddie_72 about under eating. I eat oatmeal for breakfast and loads of fruit, veg, salad, tuna and chicken etc on a daily basis but because I can't eat bread, potatoes, rice and have quinoa for my carbs my total is easily under 1200 on a daily basis so I have to 'top up' with nuts and seeds. Sometimes i have to remind myself I have to eat as I don't feel hungry and drink lots of water so it doesn't necessarily mean I, or anyone else has 'an eating disorder'
  • I am about 5'6 to 5'7 and the last I weight I was about 156lbs. That is the most I have ever been and I felt huge and unhealthy. I was out of breath and felt so tired just trying to jog to the end of my road. I know I am out of shape and need to change something or I will end up way overweight and out of shape. I do not want to be too thin...just healthy.
  • hipsdontlie1
    hipsdontlie1 Posts: 294 Member
    Girl! Eat some more please, atleast net 1200 calories like everyone else said. Also, Go out and enjoy yourself!!! We all need a little sanity sometimes and that's what lifes all about. Order what you want, try to stay away from deep fried items, maybe eat half your meal and save the other half for tomorrow! That's what I always like to do. Enjoy!
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    It's okay to eat whatever you want once in a while... I used this strategy recently, I took the family out to a nice restaurant, and we had 3 courses, appies, main and dessert...JUST limit your portions... and make use of the "doggy bag" ... IF you "need" to feel full...munch on a couple hundred grams of baby carrots before you head out... and remember this is about creating and LIVING a healthy lifestyle, and part of that is being able to participate in these events...

    THE great part of this strategy is... Jambalaya in the fridge for the next day (or two)...
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I am about 5'6 to 5'7 and the last I weight I was about 156lbs. That is the most I have ever been and I felt huge and unhealthy. I was out of breath and felt so tired just trying to jog to the end of my road. I know I am out of shape and need to change something or I will end up way overweight and out of shape. I do not want to be too thin...just healthy.

    set MFP to lose 1lb per week, i bet it doesn tgive you 1200 cals... eat more! all you are doing by eating so little is encouraging your body to burn muscle not fat.
  • Okay...I will go out tonight for my brothers birthday and eat and enjoy myself like I really want to! However... am I doing okay with my food selections, etc. otherwise? Is that okay? Or should I add other things, etc.? I still want to get back down to my ideal weight of about 130... but I want to do that while being healthy!
  • meritage4
    meritage4 Posts: 1,441 Member
    I'm concerned.
    From what you say you are eating too little.
    What is your height. your current weight and your goal?

    a banana is not sufficient for breakfast.
  • PhoenixWithoutAshes1
    PhoenixWithoutAshes1 Posts: 99 Member
    One thing I left out of my previous reply is that this is a marathon, not a sprint. You can't and shouldn't lose all your desired weight in 30 days or less. Slow and steady wins the race.
  • chantels1
    chantels1 Posts: 391 Member
    You are over thinking it. Most of us have "cheat" meals once a week and still lose. You are consistently lower than your goal, so one meal is not going to kill you. Think of it as a weekly goal, instead of a daily thing. You are way under for your weekly calories, so even one meal is not going to make you gain weight. It is the over all picture. Try to focus less on the short term, and keep your eye on the long term. Slow and steady. As long as your progress is better than your regression, you will be fine.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,321 Member
    I agree, one meal out will not hurt your overall progress. Frankly, freeing yourself from the stress and simply saying you are going to enjoy that time out with your family and enjoy the food is far more important than one day being over your calorie goal. Enjoy the meal, and get back at things the next day.

    I echo the comment about your goal. You should not have a goal of more than 1 pound per week loss, probably half a pound per week would be better. Your 1200 calorie goal is just that, the number you should aim at, and if you exercise on top of that, you should eat at least half of those calories back. Eating below your goal will take your calorie deficit from a good one, to a much to large one which will result in losing a lot more muscle making your final body one that looks like your current one, just smaller, not a less fat one.
  • wkhauser
    wkhauser Posts: 25 Member
    go enjoy the birthday party. weight loss is a journey and one meal won't wreck you. as to only eating 1200 calories. That might not be enough your your body already and then you are working out to?... your body might end up in starvation mode.
  • CorlissaEats
    CorlissaEats Posts: 493 Member
    I eat out sometimes. There is nothing wrong with it, even on a diet.

    There are ways to cut calories and there are healthier choices on the menu. Pick your meal before you go and have it entered into your diary so you know the caloric cost up front. Make a few compromises before you go such as: skip the bread, order salad dressing on the side, drink water not pop or alcohol, or don't eat dessert.
    If you want either a caloried beverage or dessert then take home at least 30% of your dinner for the following day.
    If you want both a drink and some dessert, then take home at least half your dinner.

    And most of all savour each bite and enjoy it without guilt!
  • sarafischbach9
    sarafischbach9 Posts: 466 Member
    You probably have your goals set for 1.5-2 lbs per week, if it wants you to eat only 1200 calories. if you only have 15 to 20 lbs to lose you can do .5 to 1 lbs a week and that would be better. I would eat more than 1200 calories per day. 1400-1600 may be better for you. But it depends on how active you are. The only days I eat in the 1200s and low 1300s are days when I do not do a lot of exercise.

    Also, you should enjoy being out with your family and eat what you want! It won't mess up your entire progress! I ate from my favorite pizza place last week and still lost weight ( 1.5 lbs down ). And had McDonalds the same week ( not proud of that, but not the most horrible things were ordered haha )
  • anotherhappyday1
    anotherhappyday1 Posts: 5 Member
    Tricks to Help:

    1- What ever portion the restaurant gives you, ask them to imediately doggy back half of it to take home. If it's not in front of you , you won't eat it plus you have another meal.

    2- eat slow. Your brain takes about 20 minutes to register stomach full.

    3- Stay away from fried and saucy food.

    Hope this helps.

    Don
  • spcfowler18
    spcfowler18 Posts: 4 Member
    I have to agree with everyone else. If your eating less than 1200 calories, you have nothing to worry about. The truth is that your stomach has probably shrunk a great deal so you wont be able to eat as much as you used too, so even if you go crazy you can't do to much damage in one sitting. When I'm on a diet, I order off the kids menu or the seniors menu when I have to eat out. The portions are much more appropriate for what people should be consuming. You could try that. Then you can enjoy the meal without feeling bad latter, but your body could use a fuel up day every once in a while too. I don't like to call them cheat days, they are days to rest and replenish glycogen stores so you can continue to work out and push yourself. Enjoy!