I just spent a week with my dad...

AmberJo3184
AmberJo3184 Posts: 11 Member
in Motivation and Support
... Watching him slowly kill himself with his habits.

My dad was diagnosed with Diabetes at age 19. He just turned 59 this past Saturday... and this may very well be his last birthday. He's been on dialysis for 3 years now (I do believe). His body is rejecting all new measures they do to try and prolong what little bit of "health" he has left. They say he'll die on the operating table if they go on with a kidney transplant. He has very few "good" days. Yet... instead of at least trying to help the doctors out by following their advice on what he should eat and drink, he continues to eat fried food, ice cream, cakes, and any other junk food he can get his hands on. And, he continues to drink soft drinks.

His body is so far gone at this point, eating healthy probably wouldn't help. I'm not sure what good that would do. It got me to thinking, though. I never want to get to that point. I never want my family to watch me die a slow and painful death like he is. I never want to undergo dialysis 3 days a week, and surgeries the other 4 days of the week. I want to live my life to its fullest.

I love my dad more than life. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. It nearly killed me to have to say bye to him yesterday and come back home... because I don't know if I'll ever see him again this side of heaven. I pray things change, and his "health" is able to hold on a while longer. There's still so much he wants to do. But, if things don't change, I'm afraid he won't last much longer. And, if that happens, I am determined to keep his memory alive by living the life he should have lived if he had of taken care of himself.

My aunt (my dad's older sister) begged me this week to "break the cycle" of diabetes in my family. And, that's exactly what I'm going to do. My grandmother died from diabetes. My father is dying from it. And 2 out of 4 of his sisters have it. The other 2 have hypoglycemia. I was diagnosed with Diabetes on March 4, 2011. I reversed the symptoms and lost 75 pounds... however, over the past year, I have gained 30 of those pounds back and slid backwards again. No more, though. My dad is my inspiration. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to worry about my weight or my health any longer. I want to live my life to its fullest. And that is exactly what I'm going to do....

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Replies

  • btsinmd
    btsinmd Posts: 921 Member
    I had very similar thoughts about my Dad when I started. His father died of a stroke when I was small. He was always afraid of getting a stroke, too. He took care of himself, but not quite as well as he could have and he did get a stroke when he was 76. He spent 8 years lying on a bed and only able to move his head, rarely spoke, and was fed from a tube and cared for by my mother and a series of nurses until he died a few months ago.

    I looked at my Dad and I looked at me, not even taking care of myself as well as he did, and thought about getting a stroke, too. I don't want that to happen to me and while I can't guarantee anything, I can make it less probable. That's the best you can do.

    Good luck on your journey toward better health and I wish the best for your father. I'm so sorry for both of you and the rest of your family. I do know how horrible it is to not be able to do anything to fix someone.
  • AmberJo3184
    AmberJo3184 Posts: 11 Member
    And, even though I'm determined to succeed this time, friends are always a good part of my success and support. :smile: Feel free to add me to your friend list, and let's help motivate each other.
  • AmberJo3184
    AmberJo3184 Posts: 11 Member
    I had very similar thoughts about my Dad when I started. His father died of a stroke when I was small. He was always afraid of getting a stroke, too. He took care of himself, but not quite as well as he could have and he did get a stroke when he was 76. He spent 8 years lying on a bed and only able to move his head, rarely spoke, and was fed from a tube and cared for by my mother and a series of nurses until he died a few months ago.

    I looked at my Dad and I looked at me, not even taking care of myself as well as he did, and thought about getting a stroke, too. I don't want that to happen to me and while I can't guarantee anything, I can make it less probable. That's the best you can do.

    Good luck on your journey toward better health and I wish the best for your father. I'm so sorry for both of you and the rest of your family. I do know how horrible it is to not be able to do anything to fix someone.

    Thank you. I am sorry about your dad, as well. It definitely hurts to watch someone you love die a slow death. You're right though. Making something less probable is the best you can do. As for me, diabetes does run in my family. I have always known that. Eating like I have all my life is just plain irresponsible on my part... but, I can definitely turn things around now and do a better job of taking care of myself.
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    So sorry about your dad's declining health. I'm sure he was very happy to have you there with him while you were able. It's a lot of pressure to put on yourself, to live the life he never did, but as long as you are kind to yourself when you fall (because everyone falls) I'm sure you will live a life that will make him very proud.
  • HeathrBee
    HeathrBee Posts: 8 Member
    Thank you for sharing. I wish you and your family the best as you handle your Dad's care. Your story is similar to mine with my Dad. His whole family has struggled with diabetes (2 of his sisters have died, another brother and sister are living/suffering with it). For some reason, he has really been the only one to tackle it. Though he made lifestlye changes while I was a teenager, and really adopted a much healthier lifestlye in his retirment, unfortunately a lot of the damage was already done. He injects insulin daily and is constantly pricking his finger for blood sugar checks. Last October he had another bout of atrial fibrilation, and long story short ended up having open heart surgery. He was meant to have quadruple bypass, but they could only do the three most blocked arteries because they couldn't harvest a vein from his leg for the fourth because they were too damaged as a result of the diabetes. He's recovered remarkably well from the surgery, and the doctors credit his current lifestlye being able to handle it so well.
    He's been after me for years...YEARS...about my weight and history of diabetes in his family. Last year before his heart problems I was at my highest weight. I don't know why I "ignored" the diabetes warnings for so long (I didn't really, but I never changed), but something about the heart surgery scared me. Since then I've lost 30 pounds mostly due to the amount of exercise I do (I actually like to work out), but I still struggle with binges and poor food choices, and I've been stuck. Your story was a good reminder of why I started this in the first place.
  • laurie04427
    laurie04427 Posts: 421 Member
    Watching my father's declining health drives (I want to say motivates but that doesn't sound right) me to become healthier also.

    Diabetes, heart disease and heart attacks, gall bladder attacks from eating too much fat, now cancer. He went from around 300 pounds to 220 from all the health issues and currently barely being able to eat. His advice to me was not to lose weight the way he did. I'm accepting the advice.

    I want to be more in control of my health. I agree, it's really sad.
  • kmuree
    kmuree Posts: 283 Member
    I can relate, very much so.

    My father's side has struggled with diabetes, and my grandparents and aunt died from complications of it. My father was an easy 350lbs, suffering from minor strokes, fought two different foot ulcers and looked tired and ill all of the time.

    While I am not close to him, I was always waiting for that phone call from my stepmother.
    Until one day he sent me a picture that stunned me.

    He'd shed over 150lbs, had gained muscle, and no longer was he inflicted with diabetes. The disease, of course, never goes away fully - but he has not had any complications from it in over a year, no longer has to pump insulin and he is living a happier, healthier lifestyle. He dedicated himself to good eating (small portions, wholesome food, nutrients, no junk or sugar of any kind) and hefty exercise (he bikes five miles before work and ten after). He and his wife combined lost over 200lbs.

    My own doctor told me last year that if I continue on the way I have, I will have diabetes within the next couple of years.

    If my 54 year old father can keep it at bay, so can I, and so can you ladies and gents. :flowerforyou:

    I'm sorry to hear about your daddy, and I hope that he remains as healthy as possible. And I hope that you do too. :heart:
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I think your dad would be happy and proud of you if you can break the cycle. It's hard when you backslide but you've done it before so you can do it again.
  • writergeek313
    writergeek313 Posts: 390 Member
    I'm really sorry that you're having to see your dad suffer and are having to worry about him from a distance. My mom also has diabetes, and she's not taking care of herself as she should. She also has COPD because she smoked for years, and my dad has some health issues as well. Seeing all the medications they have to take and all the trips to doctors they have to make has been a wake-up call for me. I'm always pretty busy with my career, and I used to put my health on the back burner. I finally realized I can't keep doing that. I don't want to be doing those same things in 30 years. I don't ever want my health to hold me back.

    You're young, and you can absolutely start making healthy lifestyle changes. Doing so now will make it easier to deal with whatever life throws at you as you get older. Your future self will thank you for the changes you're making now!

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