In need of a pep talk

california_peach
california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
I have been feeling very discouraged since Thanksgiving. We visited my husband's family (his dad, step mom, siblings, etc) and no one noticed that I had lost any weight. At that time I was at a 22lb loss and no one noticed. They are a very fitness/thinness obsessed family and expected that they would notice.

If that was not discouraging enough, we also took family photos and the blouse I brought was missing a button so I had to wear a turtleneck and that darn thing made me look as big as a barn. I have a short neck and do not seem to have lost much weight in my face just yet, so the turtleneck just makes my face look super puffy. Think Mr. Garrison on South Park, but with more hair.

I have not missed a day of exercise since the trip, but I feel myself wanting to eat more and I am having trouble sleeping. Generally just feeling down and I need a serious pep talk. I am hoping my fellow myfitnesspal-ers can help me out.

Replies

  • yellowfairy
    yellowfairy Posts: 207 Member
    Just remember that you are doing this for you-and not them. If they didn't notice, I am sure it was because Thanksgiving is such a busy time, that maybe it just didn't register at the time. I am sure you are looking great-and you are doing so good! 22 pounds is a LOT!!! You should be commended for that.

    Just keep going-and you will make your goal, and really-it doesn't matter what others think-only what you think and feel. Feel good for having accomplished that! YOU WILL DO THIS AND-they will notice!!:happy:
  • MartiWillett
    MartiWillett Posts: 103 Member
    Hang in there girl! You have been rocking it! Don't let someone else ruin all your hard work! People will notice give it time!
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
    5 things you won't see:

    1. you have more energy
    2. you are putting less strain on your joints and decreasing your risk for knee or hip replacement surgery when you're older.
    3. you're lowering your chances of developing diabetes
    4. you're lowering your chances of developing hypertension
    5. you're increasing your life expectancy

    Those are pretty darn good things!
  • CCMLA
    CCMLA Posts: 19
    Hey amygirl--

    Family situations can be really emotional, sometimes without even us realizing it. Many of us crave approval from our family that we've succeeded in some ways, and when it doesn't come, we might not feel special enough. I don't know your history, but if you also grew up feeling kind of invisible in a way, then that only adds to it.

    But I want you to know that you are special. To me, I look at your tracker and it keeps me going. I just got started and a 23-pound loss seems so far away that it's hard to envision it at this point. Thank you for the thinspiration!

    Stay strong and celebrate your success. Cultivate that inner strength and know that you are beautiful in and out--whether people notice it all the time or not.

    Keep at it! :)
  • psupachic
    psupachic Posts: 1
    There's also the chance that they noticed and just didn't want to say anything to you and accidentally say the "wrong" thing that might discourage you!
  • justahorsen
    justahorsen Posts: 234
    You are probably at that stage where people notice but don't want to say anything...when I had about 18 pounds off I went to my nephew birthday party and my neice said I looked "different" and asked if I did something with my hair. I said that I had lost almost 20 pounds and she said "no, thats not it, it must be your hair".....I wear my hair long and straight....it was the pounds being gone.
    One of the guys at work, told me my face looked "thinner", and that was after about 25 pounds, so hang in there you are doing the right thing.....when you have 40 off and see the in-laws again, then it will be "I thought you looked thinner at Thanksgiving"..... :wink:
  • JoyceJoanne
    JoyceJoanne Posts: 760 Member
    Nobody noticed mine either (including me) and then one day It all kind of clicked?? Not sure what happened, my pants fell off (true story, luckily I was at a friend's house!!:blushing: ) and I looked and felt thinner. Everybody seems to notice now. Mine happened right about 23 pounds... Maybe because I all of a sudden felt thinner and better - so it 'showed'? and people noticed?? Not sure. But don't let these dopes ruin ANY of the hard work that you have been doing!! It isn't easy! A loss of 23 pounds is HUGE!!

    The good thing about not looking so hot in the Thanksgiving pic is that the next pic will look that much better! ;-)

    Hang in there- Keep up the hard work, the rest will come! :flowerforyou:
  • skeorpio
    skeorpio Posts: 6
    That's always frustrating when you expect praise for your achievement & don't receive it! From the sounds of it, the whole family is fitness minded so maybe you haven't gotten to the point that they find praise worthy. Remember praise is subjective to whoever is giving it...that's why its always good to make changes for yourself first. You sound like you are doing a fabulous job! You've set motivators & have stayed on track!!!!! I want you to look in the mirror (without the turtleneck)...smile, and congratulate yourself for how far you've come & for how far you are going to continue to go. No self pity eating. No looking down on yourself b/c you think negative reasons are why no one gave you positive reinforcement. Keep moving forward:bigsmile:
  • twinsmomma02
    twinsmomma02 Posts: 79 Member
    I was feeling exactly like you last week, so I know how you feel.... I went and complained to my trainer at the gym and it took her words of wisdom and encouragement to get me out of my rut. One of my complaints to her was that I have only lost 28 pounds since the beginning of September, and she looked at me like I was crazy and told me just that. She reminded me that I have changed bad habits, can now run a mile in less than 12 minutes at 5.0 mph on the treadmill, and reminded me that when I started I couldn't even run for 3 minutes on the treadmill. She reminded me that I have become stronger, have muscles now, my endurance has increased, that I am healthier with close to 30 pounds gone, and that I am making a lifestyle change and can't expect all the weight that took me years to pack on, to come off overnight. I think I have changed my expectations slightly and have learned to stop comparing my weight loss to others. 22 pounds is a great loss so you need to be proud of that and if your family didn't notice, I am sure they will next time they see you!!! Remember, you are doing this for yourself and you will get there, even if it is at a slower pace! Slow and steady wins the race!
  • keneker
    keneker Posts: 1 Member
    I have lost more than 70 pounds and hate to tell you I still have those moments!! 22 pounds is an AMAZING ACCOMPLISHMENT!!! You can not let external influences, no matter how important they might be to you, take away from what you are doing for yourself and your family. When I get discouraged and want to "eat it away" I remind myself that that is how I got in the position of needing to loose 80 pounds ~ then get my tail to the gym to deal with it in a more healthy way. Just think about how FANTASTIC you will feel on the inside several weeks from now when you look back on this and realize you did not let this defeat you or stand in the way of being good to yourself!!! Stay true and continue to g yourself the one gift that no one else can give you.
  • Jennplus2
    Jennplus2 Posts: 984 Member
    Maybe they did notice but didn't want you to feel weird by them saying something.
    OR...
    Have you gotten new clothes? I know that once I lost 20-25 lbs no one said anything until I got a new outfit, then it was clear how much I lost and people started to say stuff all the time.

    Keep you head up
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    This is what is the best part of this site. This. The support. The people will jump in a minutues notice and help a totaly stranger with some words of wisdom, support and kindness. You guys are the greatest. Thanks for helping to put things in persceptive. I am feeling much better today and my focus is renewed. Again, thanks!
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