Family and friends not supportive!!!!

I am 2 weeks into my new lifestyle change. I've lost 5 lbs in these past 2 weeks! Most of it was water weight lol. A few months ago my family (aunts, cousins, ect.) all decided to start eating better snd dothe C25K program. My aunt made a facebook group for it for us to show our support for eachother. Since then, everyone has stopped doing it and I am just starting. I still post my progress though. Also, MFP posts my exercises and weight loss on my Fb wall. All of a sudden no one is supportive like they were. I was getting "yay! great job! Keep it up!" Not anymore. I am now hearing I am "over the top" and "doing too much". I don't feel like I am doing too much. I feel great actually! I know they feel bad about temselves because they are not doing well with thier own goals, but they are trying to bring me down!

At work yesterday I had a stressful day and someone told me to eat "comfort food" ad I would feel better. I told her I want my hethy lunch but thanks for the sugestion. Then today she asked if I wanted to go to DQ and get i ecream with her. I told her I brought my greek yogurt and some fresh berries, but thanks for the invite. She told me I am no fun anymore! She've very overweight herself.

I hate it that people seem to want me to be overweight!

Replies

  • jlynnm70
    jlynnm70 Posts: 460 Member
    And that is exactly why I don't let MFP post to FB. I have a group of FB friends (closed group) and I have my friends on here. Those are the supportive ones, or they wouldn't be in those groups.

    My husband and kids are being great about it. Other than that - I don't care what anyone else says - at least not for the most part.

    Find friends on here - and let us support you - don't worry about the rest. After all - are you doing this for them, or you?

    I wish you the best of luck - and you can friend me if you want to.
  • viglet
    viglet Posts: 299 Member
    I think if you want to continue to live your life in a healthy way, you have to do it for just yourself and no one else.

    Don't get me wrong, I feel ecstatic when someone says positive words towards my weightloss, but eventually it all stops.

    And there will always be someone who thinks the way you are going about it is wrong or that you are doing too much or too little or you're eating too many carbs or your eating too little carbs or that you shouldn't drink milk or that you're obsessed ect ect ect. (trust me I've heard it ALL).

    So take what people say with a grain of salt and just do you. If you feel that you really need that encouragement, find friends on MFP that have the same values as you do and you guys can encourage yourself online.

    :smile:
  • qpmomma1
    qpmomma1 Posts: 220 Member
    I am doing this for me 100%! The discourage ment and the people telling me it won't last just makes me want to try even harder!

    I am going to find my support on here for sure! I hate being unhealthy and overweight! I probally will leave the fitness group my aunt started too. They are just eing begative towards me.
  • scorpio3322
    scorpio3322 Posts: 34 Member
    yeahhhhhhhhh doing it for yourself is the key to success...prove those people wrong and one day you will be able to be a model for them. If someone tells me I can't do it that just makes me stronger and I work harder...good luck, drink lots of water, do exercise and Watch your calorie intake and the macros and you will be fine...:flowerforyou:
  • ChrysalisCove
    ChrysalisCove Posts: 975 Member
    I don't share on FB, either... Not because I think people would be unsupportive, but because:
    1) Everyone seems to have an (uneducated) opinion on what you should be doing.
    2) Unless I'm asking for help or endangering myself, it's no one's business what I eat or how much I exercise.
    3) I am kind of excited for the holidays when family who haven't seen me are surprised by my progress!
  • I feel for you :D My dad started a weight loss group on FB too and I joined and posted my progress every week, but they never did and the goal was supposed to be in February but haven't heard from them at all.
    I guess you really have to do it for you, and I am realizing that now. Competition is one thing, but it is more important to do it yourself.
    I also live with my boyfriend who doesn't seem to care about eating proper portions because he is Jewish and he believe you should eat until you are satisfied and that servings are not accurate. It is really hard to maintain healthy habits around him because he is always saying- 'eat, you are hungry'. But I know I just had a 500 calories dinner measured out and I shouldn't eat another serving. It is annoying and feels like he isn't being supportive of my lifestyle change that tries to include him.
    Good luck and feel free to add :D
  • qpmomma1
    qpmomma1 Posts: 220 Member
    My husbad is over weight but doesn't want to change. He supports me though so he is fine with me working out and doesn't say anything about my eating habits. He does have a cupcake addiction....
  • 125KC
    125KC Posts: 71 Member
    Considering that you have been able to continue and be successful at something that THEY weren't ... my first instinct is to think that jealousy has reared it's ugly head.

    You keep doing what you're doing for all the right reasons... You got this.

    Be proud.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I think if you want to continue to live your life in a healthy way, you have to do it for just yourself and no one else.

    Don't get me wrong, I feel ecstatic when someone says positive words towards my weightloss, but eventually it all stops.

    And there will always be someone who thinks the way you are going about it is wrong or that you are doing too much or too little or you're eating too many carbs or your eating too little carbs or that you shouldn't drink milk or that you're obsessed ect ect ect. (trust me I've heard it ALL).

    So take what people say with a grain of salt and just do you. If you feel that you really need that encouragement, find friends on MFP that have the same values as you do and you guys can encourage yourself online.

    :smile:

    I agree with all of the above!!

    I have always been fairly private about my weight loss efforts. At first, like when I was going from 307 lb down to 260-270 lb (before I joined this website) it was because I was A) ashamed of my weight and didn't want to draw attention to it and B) afraid that my efforts wouldn't produce results anyway.

    But once I joined MFP one year ago and started losing more rapidly, I eventually became more comfortable talking with supportive friends and family about what I am doing. But I quickly learned that you will have naysayers who are appalled at your daily calories being too low and/or jealous of your progress, and they will only bring you down! Do not give people an opportunity to do that. I have lost over 100 lb and thus far, kept it off, and I am still going. But there are people in my life (mostly acquaintances) who occasionally ask what I'm doing to lose weight and then say "OH that doesn't really work" or insist that calorie counting doesn't work for them, but they have lost 2 lb in 5 months because of their exercise regime. All I can say to that is dang, if I was 150 lb overweight and killing myself in the gym and lost less than 1 lb/month I'd be p**sed!

    I don't post much on FB related to diet and weight loss. I do sometimes talk about a great hike or bike ride, and share some yummy healthy recipes occasionally, but I'm honestly not obnoxious with it like "This has 5 carb and all natural OMG", it's more likely that I'll be proud of a huge plate of summer rolls with their gorgeous veggies and basil inside and post a photo of that.

    However, reaching the 1 year point this month and being at almost 70 lb lost on the site, I decided to share some before & after photos on FB. About 95% of the feedback was positive & encouraging. BUT I noticed 2 obese girlfriends of mine (who both "like" and comment on TONS of my other posts) did not "like" it or comment...I thought that was something worth noting. I think they're threatened by my progress to be honest.

    Then, worse - this guy I went to high school with - a casual friend - decided to come in with tons of suggestions about all of the workouts I need to do and every time I'd make a polite comment like "Thanks for the ideas, I'm pretty happy with X, Y, and Z" or "Yeah I do have a lot of energy already" he got more and more snotty about it, posting tons of suggestions and criticism (of my exercise choices, not my body directly), which made me feel like crud honestly!!

    I don't regret sharing that post but it just reminded me of why sometimes it is better to just keep it a bit more to yourself.

    YOU are who you're doing it for anyway!
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    They feel bad about themselves, because they quit and you didn't. Gather some more friends here on MFP, people who will support and celebrate your successes, and forget about getting it from family and friends.
  • CampbellTony
    CampbellTony Posts: 38 Member
    Old saying........"you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family"

    Well done on the weightloss, you are doing great. Grab some friends on MFP and as well as getting support, you can be supportive to others. Its a win, win situation!!
  • JulieGirl58
    JulieGirl58 Posts: 158 Member
    Congratulations on starting this difficult journey regardless of the lack of support from your family. You won't always feel motivated and if you are anything like me, you will toy with the idea of giving up once in a while, but with the friends you'll make here on MFP you will be able to accomplish a great deal. There are great motivators here and I like having the accountability. Good luck!
  • heidihorton
    heidihorton Posts: 110 Member
    I'm the house cook so my hubby eats better even when not trying:) I refuse to cook multiple meals so I've learned to make dishes they love healthier for all of us and it works for us ( hubby is skinny to start with.. That's rough and a junk food lover)
    Try these: 1 cake mix ( Betty Crocker is lower cals) then add only 1 cup low cal Greek yogurt ( flavor of your choice) then 1 cup of water....that's it no oil, egg.
    Follow the baking instructions for temp and time.
    These are amazing no way he will know they are lower cal and you can have them too!
    Good luck!
  • Cheechos
    Cheechos Posts: 293
    Like many others have said, just focus on yourself and power through any negativity you get. If that means you have to stop sharing your efforts on FB or with your loved ones to cut out the noise, then so be it. You'll always have support here if you look for it. c:
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    Hey guys for amazing weight loss results find me on Facebook @ Getting Healthy With Chelsea. And I will answer any questions.
    Powdered by JuicePlus i personally lost 20lb in under 7 week!! xxx

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  • raileneperkins
    raileneperkins Posts: 37 Member
    Good for you! You are finally in that place, that so many get to, when they just want change so bad they are willing to work for it! I also have a husband that is not on board for himself but is on board with me getting in shape. Sometimes I feel like he is not really being fair, in that I am willing to work to look and feel better but he is not. He is overweight and smokes and gets little exercise. He always jokes that he is glad I am stepping up because someone will have to be alive to take care of the kids when he dies soon... I know he is kidding but it sends shivers down my spine.
    I as well had a few friends and family members that wanted to do it and even pushed me to agree to get in shape. Now 3 months in I have lost 20 lbs.None of them even ask how it is going anymore and I see the memes on FB about how" no one wants hear about your workout unless you have been injured".So I stopped letting them know my progress all together. I am thankful for MFP everyday! Thanks in part to MFP I will lose all the weight my best friend and I have set as a goal, for her wedding! I only hope she will get on board and not have anything to be sad about on her big day.
  • polostaber
    polostaber Posts: 7 Member
    I deal with this exact same thing at my work. They are all sugar addicts and overweight. They make fun that I don't eat the junk that is on the table, all the time.
    They feel guilty about there addiction and don't realize it. I was going to tell them that if I ate the garbage it would not make them feel any better about themselves. Misery loves company. They all have excuses. I'm old, gotta die of something, gotta enjoy myself. Well I know there miserable...and I eat a lot....all good food. And, I do have some junk once and awhile, but on my terms on my plan. Myfit has been key on that. Look at what they look like. There denial is so strong....So
    **** them.....its your life, your in charge of your choices. You grew up, if they can't , it's there problem. Don't ague and don't flaunt your gains. Posting in a group of people who are not on the same page, only back fires. Your rewards will be endless.....smile and take out you frustration on a new workout. And that girl that goes to DQ ....about she's a really trend setter....poor girl. I ALMOST fell sorry...but that is her life...
  • Tofteberg
    Tofteberg Posts: 61 Member
    You can also go to the groups tab and find people on this site who will support u. I'm currently in a 30 day shred group and will be starting C25k as soon as my shoes get here! I use my group for both accountability and motivation. I believe that my family and friends want me to be successful but their own issues sometimes get in the way. They also don't want to hear about my exercise and eating habits. So I save those conversations for here! Keep on doing it for you
  • debbiedoeshealth
    debbiedoeshealth Posts: 97 Member
    They feel bad about themselves, because they quit and you didn't. Gather some more friends here on MFP, people who will support and celebrate your successes, and forget about getting it from family and friends.

    Agreed.
  • qpmomma1
    qpmomma1 Posts: 220 Member
    Thanks for the support everyone! I have stopped letting MVP from auto posting on my FB page. I've also removed myself from the group my aunt made. My tipping point today was a friend who posted under one of my posts that said "I don't understand why you want to look unhealthy. Skinny is not healthy. Big is beautiful!" Since when was healthy not acceptable, but overweight is healthy???
  • what_lola_wants
    what_lola_wants Posts: 129 Member
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    I do feel you. Thanks god that my bf is the only one who support me in the journey. My friends, they just DON'T CARE about health, fitness and etc at all.

    What I do, I do not involve anyone of them in the loop of my healthy eating, exercise, etc. When they offer me with the food that I do not prefer, I just said, sorry I am too full to have it now. And I WILL NOT TURN TO FOOD!

    You are strong and you can do it!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I deal with this exact same thing at my work. They are all sugar addicts and overweight. They make fun that I don't eat the junk that is on the table, all the time.
    They feel guilty about there addiction and don't realize it. I was going to tell them that if I ate the garbage it would not make them feel any better about themselves. Misery loves company...

    I used to be that person who got through the work day grabbing pieces of Halloween candy or just one more brownie or donut from the kitchen at my former job. But the thing that bugs me MOST about the people who try to convince others to eat the stuff is that I was never like that. I didn't try to get anyone to eat the stuff. In fact, I would have been happy to hear that so-and-so wasn't going to eat a slice of the delicious pie, so I could eat it for an afternoon snack myself after the stressful staff meeting.