How to break bad habits?

jessrainsb · March 2014

I've gotten into the poor habit, of doing really good in the morning and around lunch time, then from about 3pm til dinner I totally sabotage my day. Then proceed to tell myself " I will do better tomorrow!" and repeat the next day. So, any brilliant ideas on how to break the cycle?

My calories are not set too low, 1600-1800, for a half lb. loss a week. I tried doing the 1200 calorie thing but it actually stalled my weight loss. I'm not doing any cardio right now but am doing weight training. I just don't understand why I can't just stick to my plan. It's like, I know what I need to do, and I know *I* control what I eat. But there's some kind of stupid emotional block there.

I don't want to give up. I want to keep going. I just need ideas?

mom22nteaching · March 2014

Great post. I need help with this too. Can't wait to see all the great ideas.

KariOrtiz2014 · March 2014

I have the same issue

geebusuk · March 2014

They say it takes 21-30 days to form a habit.
It seems that's not entirely correct, but for a lot of people in regards to this sort of things it's often even shorter.

So if you can force yourself to make a REAL effort for a few weeks, you'll likely carry on.

Have you tried pre-logging food and seeing if you can force yourself to stick to that?

I find eating between 1-9pm only (leangains style) allows me to control what I eat much better.

KoopaSix · March 2014

You have to really, sincerely want to do it. To the point that unplanned cheating isn't even an option. Cheating isn't even in your vocabulary (unless planned). Habits are tough to break..everyone struggles with them. I have dipped chewing tobacco for the past 7 years and is a habit I am desperately trying to kick. Slowly but surely with the support of my fiance I am kicking it. Everyone has their evils to deal with. As far as diet from my experience in being an ex fatty, you have to really really want to do it.

jessrainsb · March 2014

Well, I started back in January, and was doing really good, lost 12 lbs. But then my birthday rolled around, and I allowed myself "one day". Then that one day turned into a vicious cycle.

I have tried pre-logging, because it's worked for me before. Not so much today. Maybe I just need to keep plugging on and hope it will finally stick one day.

CptnSpaz- I think that is part of the problem. Sometimes I think, " Why can't I just be happy the way I am?" I'm not THAT overweight, my goal is only 15 lbs away, then I eat, then I wonder why I just did that. Why it's so hard for me to just stick to something. I don't know...

Loganb96 · March 2014

same thing here post anything that might help break those habits please?

KoopaSix · March 2014

No one can motivate you but YOU. There will be "food terrorists" all around you..im approached by them on the daily. You need self control and no one can give that to you but you. As soon as you learn self control changes can begin. Just so you know it "can be done"

geebusuk · March 2014

Is there anything you could set a goal for?

I work much better towards a goal - my usual one is getting to the point I can wander around Glastonbury Festival tshirtless without worry of disgusting people too much

.

I put on a load of weight in the last summer - part of it in my case was because I knew I could lose it again.
But also for a while because I wasn't putting on any more weight - it seems the fairly short cycling commute and occasional other cycling was burning more calories that I expected as the scales kept NOT going up so when I told myself "I'll weigh in and be horrified", I wasn't. Then I didn't have the commute and kept eating.
I kept saying "diet starts tomorrow/next week", but it's so easy to keep eating for me.
Forget what made me actually do it this time, but pretty sure the scales at 216 helped, when a year before they had been 160!

For me, doing exercise to 'earn' food works well. I'll generally make sure I have enough protein on non-weights day before any exercise, then if going for a run or similar, I'll know I can happily have some nice food after and be at my intended deficit.

Also, of course, eating the right foods - at the moment I'm going for salad stuff a fair bit.
It's not logged with it, but I had 500g of lean ground beef (600 calories) and with that probably the same again in size of lettuce and tomato mixed up, with a little light dressing. That's a pretty filling meal in the end. (Lets ignore the cake bar and pear that I had after which weren't logged because I was busy - to be fair I also did a load of cycling around town too that wasn't logged either.)

puckit61 · March 2014

This may not work for you and may be completely irrelevant to your situation, but for me It's kind of a boredom thing. 2-5 pm is the down part of my day so I find that if I'm not completely occupied, I just want to eat. I might not necessarily feel hungry, but I want to eat and eat everything. It helps if take a long walk. It uses up that down time and my mind doesn't wander towards food at all. It also allows me to hold off until dinner

1princesswarrior · March 2014

Are you eating because you are bored or hungry? What are the emotions behind it? I used to eat when I was bored at that time of the day. Then I replaced that behavior with exercise. Or are you thirsty?

If you are still at work that time of day take healthy snacks of vegetables, they are crunchy and filling while being low in calories. If you need sweets try some fruit that you packed the night before.

I still think the key is to figure out why you lose control, that will give you the upper hand in solving the problem. Once you figure out the why you can come up with a solution. I now must exercise at that time of day. That's the time of day I feel the most anxious for some reason.

JG762 · March 2014

It's not that hard, in my opinion the key is to be honest with yourself.
I got the way I am by doing exactly what the OP said that she does, (make deals with yourself about tomorrow) when you get to that point you need to start making deals with yourself about TODAY and doing what is right and it will make you much happier. Once you are able to be honest with yourself and carry through with your goals the first day, the next day will be a bit easier and the day after that easier too.
No tricks, no magic pills, just be honest with yourself about what you need to do.
Good luck.

Francl27 · March 2014

There's no magic trick. Sorry. Log everything, and make sure to 'complete' your diary at the end of the day. The red numbers should help motivate you. Bottom line is, you have to want it badly enough to stop sabotaging yourself.

4legsRbetterthan2 · March 2014

1. when you want to eat drink a glass of water instead.
2. get rid of the source- if you are at work then don't bring extra food to snack on. Keep snack foods you don't really need out of the house. If you are at home and cant resist the temptation then put a goal or a "before" picture on the fridge or panty or wherever you are getting your food from to make you think twice.
3. Stay busy or workout. Less likely to eat when your mind is on other things and working out usually suppresses your appetite for a bit.
4. Plan on snacking and account for your snacks in your daily goal. This means smaller meals but more often.

Hopefully something in there was helpful, good luck!

elisa123gal · March 2014

Shake it up… change your early day calories to lower calorie choices. Pair off 200 calories and turn that into a snack in the afternoon…even a 300 or 400 calorie snack. Kick up your work out an extra 10 minutes also.

kick this bad habits *kitten*! one way or another. You can do it.

yolohunter · March 2014

I have had the same issue with binging- definitely an emotional thing for me. And then I think I finally hit rock bottom, which somehow got me to snap out of my previous mental state and decide that I want to take control and change my habits asap. Now I have a much higher level of focus than I've had in past attempts to change. What helped me was finding what goal or source of motivation will stick with me to make the motivation last, and then finding a way to remind myself of it everyday, maybe even multiple times per day.

I know once I get consistently back into the healthy lifestyle habit I will be balanced again mentally and won't feel the need to binge or at least be able to control it way better than before. My motivation was reading a study that said the actual time it takes to develop a new habit is 66 days- not sure if that's true but it sounds good to me! So that's my new goal that has been helping me stay focused- make it a 66 day streak of being within my calorie goal on MFP! And now that I've started the streak I remind myself several times per day that I don't want to have to start the streak over again because of a binge before I hit 66 days- I just want to keep going because I really do think that 66 days will be enough time for me to get back into my healthy lifestyle habit, get back my control, and then I'll work on maintaining that habit.

Also, this article about self-sabotage helped me understand a lot about myself and the reasons why I binge, which helped reduce the emotional block I had towards sticking to my goals:
http://www.positivehealth.com/article/holistic-psychotherapy/freedom-from-self-sabotage-fulfilling-your-potential

jessrainsb · March 2014

Thanks everyone for the support and advice. I do think boredom may have something to do with it. Tomorrow I am going to try to keep myself busy during that time frame and see if it helps.

bluntlysally · March 2014

read this...

"The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business" by Charles Duhigg
http://www.amazon.com/dp/081298160X

i have recommended it to many people for different reasons. highly recommend it!!

jaabee11 · March 2014

If that's your weak time then eat then. Don't fight it but allow for it. Fighting gets so frustrating then a vicious circle. Take some calories from the rest of your day, use them when your weakest. Try to eat something protein as it does fill you up more but if it's a boredom thing or depression thing go with whatever works. Keep it in your calorie allowance though. You'll be surprised when you start to work with it instead of against it how quickly things will change in your thinking. It's the thinking that needs changing for all of us before we can really change the eating. Good luck

FitnessChelsey · March 2014

Plan your entire days worth of meals in advance! I cannot express how much this helped me. Make sure you are eating nutrient rich foods that will keep you satisfied longer

yewbic · March 2014

Well, I started back in January, and was doing really good, lost 12 lbs. But then my birthday rolled around, and I allowed myself "one day". Then that one day turned into a vicious cycle.

I think it's healthy to allow yourself a cheat day or two per week -- I think it can help keep you on track knowing that theres a day or two coming up when you'll be able to eat anything you want. Besides satisfying your cravings, I think the cheat days can also help in re-assuring your metabolism that you're not starving and prevent it from slowing down.

i've read that sometimes when you think you're hungry, it could be that you're just thirsty.. and instead of just drinking only water throughout day, I enjoy drinking tea as well. black tea, white tea, green tea, oolong, chai, it's all good

easjer · March 2014

This will probably be wildly unhelpful - I just sucked it up and stopped. I did a Whole30, which was a headlong way to end a lot of my bad habits in fell swoop. A lot of it has stuck too.

For me, there were always reasons, always excuses, always promises to do better and I never did. I just didn't want it enough to do it. I wanted the candy and the mocha and to avoid exercise more than I wanted to be more fit. And there are other, way more complicated issues at play too - psychological issues with perfection and my dad, serious emotional connection to food (never judging, always welcoming), hiding behind my weight (that person didn't like me because I'm fat, not because of me - fat rejection was easier than the idea someone just didn't like me), whatever.

One day I decided to be done with it and challenged myself to complete a Whole30. Mostly to see if I could. And I did. It really helped me break through everything - the super complicated stuff I'll pay a therapist to unravel for years to come and the simple 'that tastes good' and 'I hate being sweaty' stuff - and just focus on one decision at a time. The power I'd pushed away was back in my hands. Simply say no. Simply do not put that item in my mouth.

That's not to say it was easy. I remember honest to god weeping because I wanted something that was off-plan so badly but also wanted to stay on plan (possibly quite literally wanting to have my cake and eat it), and feeling so effing conflicted about it. But it was simply a matter of making one good choice, followed by another good choice, followed by another good choice to give me a solid foundation to remember that it is all in my hands and that I can choose to eat well or choose to eat poorly and that a day is only wrecked if I choose to allow it to be.

easjer · March 2014

As for what I do in the moment - I evaluate my calories and my workout plan. Can I have that? Maybe. I pre-log what I know I'm eating to try and avoid the trap of eating and finding out later that I'm over. I get something to drink. I try to figure out if I'm really hungry or if I'm bored or upset or something else. Frequently now, at work, I will get up and walk around the first floor of my building to get a few more steps and literally walk away from temptation. I also try to avoid stocking lots of foods that don't fit my plan so they aren't there tempting me.

redambition · March 2014

As several people have said, there's no magic answer (sadly....) You have to really want to do it and focus on keeping that promise to yourself.

The most helpful method for me is to pre-log my day as much as possible. I will pre-log breakfast, lunch and all my snacks, and then I know how many calories & macros I have left for dinner. If any little "extras" come up, I then have to look at my diary and either swap out a snack I haven't eaten yet, or see if I can make it fit (add a walk, etc). If not, then I have to decline it and stick to my plan.

I also give myself an alternative... Say the team at work is having cake for afternoon tea (they do it a lot), and I can't fit it into my day. I will save one of my pre-prepared snacks and eat my snack with everyone else while they have cake. That way I'm not left out of the social aspect, but I'm not sitting there awkwardly not doing anything with my hands while they eat. It helps enormously! I got guilt trips from people the first few times I did it, but now they accept that I won't always eat the cake.

Another tip is to try and get to the bottom of why you are messing up. Are you bored? Lonely? Watching TV? Change up your routine and do something new. Stretch while watching TV instead of sitting, go for a walk, call a friend, take up a hobby. All of these things can help alleviate the call of the fridge

)

lemon629 · March 2014

I tended to graze too much in the afternoons, too.

This is what helped me:
1. I started eating a slightly larger lunch. I had been getting around 300-350 calories; now I get 400-600. Now I rarely get hungry in the afternoon.
2. I keep a box of Fiber One in my office. In the late afternoon if I get hungry, I have 1/4 cup. This holds me until dinner.
3. I pre-log my meal plan and then confirm/update after each meal or snack. If I start getting near my limit, I change the plan and/or add more exercise. Pre-logging keeps me from getting too far off track.
4. I make sure I drink enough water. I usually flavor my water with a little fresh lemon juice or orange juice. The flavor helps me drink more and sometimes satisfies that mouth desire for food.

I think the most important changes for me were 1 and 3.
For the evenings, a lot of people find it helps to brush their teeth shortly after dinner.

Leonidas_meets_Spartacus · March 2014

Check with your doctor if you have metabolic syndrome or insulin resistance. If you don't then try to remove the cheat days from your vocabulary. I was always fit in my life except when things started going south 3 or 4 years ago. I was always hungry and my work travel didn't help either. I finally figured out I had metabolic syndrome and just eat foods which don't mess with my insulin levels. If its not medically related, you need to stick with it for a month or two for habits to change.

How to break bad habits?

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