Keeping on track when having marriage trouble

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SarahElizabeth1981
SarahElizabeth1981 Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
Anyone have any advice for staying on track and focused on me when I'm struggling emotionally? I feel like my husband doesn't live me anymore. We have been arguing and both said hurtful things to each other. Then I found out he's been talking to another girl and exchanging pictures with her. I have been trying so hard to get past it and be a loving wife. Now I found out he was also on another fitness site commenting on half naked pics of women and messaged a girl telling her she was beautiful. Then he accused me of cheating on him and said he has given up on our marriage. (I've never even so much as looked at another man and would never cheat on anyone)! I love him more than anything! I am such a mess and feel like I can barely take care of my kids let alone myself! Sorry for the rant I just don't really have anyone to talk to about this.

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  • SarahElizabeth1981
    SarahElizabeth1981 Posts: 20 Member
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    *love* me anymore, not live. I don't think he's homicidal or anything! Lol
  • dab52776
    dab52776 Posts: 536 Member
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    Hugs to you! I have been going through something similar for many months and am now trying to figure out a way to get rid of the 25 or so lbs I packed on :frown:

    I don't have any real advice( because I haven't really figured it out yet for myself), but I just wanted you to know you aren't alone!
  • ashleyisgreat
    ashleyisgreat Posts: 586 Member
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    I'm really sorry that all of that is happening to you right now.

    I've never been in your shoes, but I do know that we have to take care of ourselves FIRST. Because if you don't take care of you, then you won't be there to take care of anyone else. Prioritize yourself and your feelings and your body.

    My mom recently passed away. We were best friends and it was unexpected. It was (it still is) really, really hard, and I wanted to say screw it and just give up on the work I've done here on MFP, but I had to step back and remember that doing that wouldn't help me in any way. Of course I deprioritized tracking and eating right for a little bit, but I had to force myself to get back, even though I'm still grieving.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't wait until everything is better to take care of yourself. You just can't, because it might be too late, or it might never feel like everything is exactly right. So you have to do it right now. And the alternative--not taking care of yourself--isn't going to help you AT ALL. It will only make things worse.
  • SarahElizabeth1981
    SarahElizabeth1981 Posts: 20 Member
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    Awww hugs to you too! Thank you and good luck to you!
  • SarahElizabeth1981
    SarahElizabeth1981 Posts: 20 Member
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    That is great advice, and I am so sorry about your mom. That really puts things into perspective.
  • IIIIISerenityNowIIIII
    IIIIISerenityNowIIIII Posts: 425 Member
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    Read/do The Love Dare :)
  • SarahElizabeth1981
    SarahElizabeth1981 Posts: 20 Member
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    Read/do The Love Dare :)

    I will have to check it out, never heard of it!
  • Mpol2
    Mpol2 Posts: 442 Member
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    http://www.shenzhoufellowship.org/main2/files/old/SpecialTopics/TheLoveDare.pdf
  • meritage4
    meritage4 Posts: 1,441 Member
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    I ended up a great weight as my marriage ended (but that was 14 years ago). Every time I was annoyed/mad I went for a walk, a run or a bike ride. It did wonders for my shape.

    In my case by this time the marraige was really over. We'd done counseling. He had refused to change.

    The exercise really stopped me from going crazy.
  • Kristinemomof3
    Kristinemomof3 Posts: 636 Member
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    Read/do The Love Dare :)

    I will have to check it out, never heard of it!

    Get the movie Fireproof, it's based off of the Love/Dare book. Great movie.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
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    My wife and I are going thru some tough times too. You have to take care of yourself for the kids. Friendme if you want, would be happy to help if I can.
  • Greywalk
    Greywalk Posts: 193 Member
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    Sorry to hear this. It is sad and unfortunately it happens to often to count. I hope and pray for you and desire the best. My temper is such that in my marriage I went for long walks often and sometimes ran. It was over though before I knew it. For me the telling blow was the comment: "If you won't give me more money I will find another man who will." So there went 7 years of marriage and if it were not for my kids, my family, and my friends I doubt I would be sane and while today. Flash forward 5 years and I am in a loving relationship with a wonderful woman. Married and step father to her child...raising my last child and her last one together. We work together on things except exercise but it is her alone time which she needs and it is my exercise time which I need. I know this will work out for you...that is what that little aside above is about. Just be alert for how it works itself out and you will grow from it as will your children. Again my prayers for you and if you wish to rant...feel free we all need to sometimes. Same with shoulders to cry on.
  • sue_langley
    sue_langley Posts: 63 Member
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    I'm so sorry. I was in a bad marriage too. You can friend me and share anytime. I will not tell you what to do as that is a very personal descision.
  • QueenMother14
    QueenMother14 Posts: 438 Member
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    Well, I hear exercise is great for stress. But I also know when we are depressed, the last thing we want to do is move around. We would rather sleep or just cuddle up and get lost in a book or movie. Do it for you! :)
    Feel free to add me.
  • roozielynne
    roozielynne Posts: 52 Member
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    I would suggest counseling. Together and alone. If he is unwilling to go with then just go alone.

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