Newbie!

I am so excited to be here! Thank you Amy for telling me about MFP! I truly cannot wait to try something new. I am sick of failing when it comes to my weight loss attempts (and there have been many!).

I wasn't always a big girl. Don't get me wrong, I was never "skinny" but I was the average, normal weight for my height. Now that I think about it, I thought I was big then..... hahaha what I would give to be that size again!! Long story short, I fell in love with my best friend. No excuse, I know, but I didn't have to try so hard to impress anyone anymore. At some point, I think year 2-3 of dating, I gained 60lbs in 18mos. I thought for sure it was medical but all tests came back normal. Big shocker, I had gotten lazy!

I love my husband and don't feel like I am losing him in any way, but I also know I am inadvertently pushing him away. I am so unhappy with my body that I don't want to do anything that involves going out into public. If I have to put on jeans, be in a crowd or meet new people I am afraid I'm going to embarass him. Yikes.... that is hard to admit. Well, we are now to the point where we are discussing having children. Why would I bring a child into this world, with my lifestyle the way it is, knowing that I'm not going to be the role model I know I can be?

I need your support. My husband doesn't understand. He just looks at a treadmill and loses 15lbs. I try to keep our house junk food free and then he picks up ice cream and candy. When I try to explain to him why that can't be in the house he says "Just don't eat it." Geesh, if I had that kind of will-power do you really think I'd be obese? I enjoy working out as long as it is fun (don't stick me on a treadmill) so I'm excited to hear what suggestions you all have and I love trying new, healthy recipes!

Since I've written a book on my first post, I will stop. But I look forward to experiencing MFP!!