Old habits are a *****.

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grrl77
grrl77 Posts: 108
in Motivation and Support
I'd love to know something about human nature.

I'd really like to know how it is, you can go 33 years of your life being fat, and being okay with it. I, myself, have never known what it's like to be "of normal size." Like, ever. So I bust *kitten*, lose twenty lbs, and in the process, vow to not look back. I exercise, which is hard, but I become addicted to how it feels afterward - eff-ing amazing! The confidence improves. You know, you're busting it on the treadmill, sweat dripping off you, Lady Gaga blaring in your ears, and you're secretly looking around that gym thinking to yourself, "I'm one sexy beeyotch. Aaaaaaaaaaaall these mofos wish they were as sexy as me." And you glance over at the guy to your left, running at a breakneck pace, and you wanna say, "How much do they pay you to pretend you don't want this?"

Point is, you feel great! And then some random moment in time hits, and you decide to "take a break." You eat like crap, you have no motivation, you feel depressed, you gain four lbs, the thought of even hitting the gym makes you cringe.

I just wanna know what happens, mentally. Why is it we can't hold on to the fabulous that we feel when we're busting *kitten* and seeing results? We cling to it, and then a week of blah can suddenly just make all that go away. I swear, food is an addiction. Maybe it's the behavior that is.

Just kinda venting, I guess. I feel a little blah because I haven't been good at tracking stuff, or weighing in, and I know the key is to just force myself to get back on it.

Replies

  • npryor100
    npryor100 Posts: 99 Member
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    I've been there! Writing down how great you feel when you are staying on track helps you get out of the rut.

    Great job, keep taking it one day and one workout at a time!
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
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    wish I knew the answer to this one.............. if anyone has the definitive answer you will make a million! I do despair with myself from time to time I am just brilliant............ and then I am really crap! I hope that I can keep getting back to the brilliant bit coz that woman is an amazon who I really really like!
  • JodiS75
    JodiS75 Posts: 284
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    I exercise, which is hard, but I become addicted to how it feels afterward - eff-ing amazing! The confidence improves. You know, you're busting it on the treadmill, sweat dripping off you, Lady Gaga blaring in your ears, and you're secretly looking around that gym thinking to yourself, "I'm one sexy beeyotch. Aaaaaaaaaaaall these mofos wish they were as sexy as me." And you glance over at the guy to your left, running at a breakneck pace, and you wanna say, "How much do they pay you to pretend you don't want this?"

    I love this part! Made me laugh and think of me!
  • jjustjo
    jjustjo Posts: 285 Member
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    I totally get what you are saying. Old habits are MUCH easier! Bad eating habits are as comfortable as a worn pair of shoes or stretchy jammy pants. It feels like coming home. This will sound weird...Katie is taking a class on human sexuality. She tells me that when we are in love our bodies make a chemical. If we break up or lose our loved one we have withdrawl from the "in love" chemical. Maybe us fatties are wired funny and make a "in love" food chemical and when we diet we have withdrawl??? I know ....sounds out there but a relationship is a relationship even with our pets, why not with food? I have dreams about getting back with "chocolate" hahaha I am just putting it out there....(shrug)
  • sarahricks
    sarahricks Posts: 90 Member
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    I totally get what you are saying. Old habits are MUCH easier! Bad eating habits are as comfortable as a worn pair of shoes or stretchy jammy pants. It feels like coming home. This will sound weird...Katie is taking a class on human sexuality. She tells me that when we are in love our bodies make a chemical. If we break up or lose our loved one we have withdrawl from the "in love" chemical. Maybe us fatties are wired funny and make a "in love" food chemical and when we diet we have withdrawl??? I know ....sounds out there but a relationship is a relationship even with our pets, why not with food? I have dreams about getting back with "chocolate" hahaha I am just putting it out there....(shrug)

    Ah the dreams, I have dreams of eating and eating, and thinking I shouldn't be eating this and doing it anyway. Then waking up and being so glad it was a dream.
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
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    I totally get what you are saying. Old habits are MUCH easier! Bad eating habits are as comfortable as a worn pair of shoes or stretchy jammy pants. It feels like coming home. This will sound weird...Katie is taking a class on human sexuality. She tells me that when we are in love our bodies make a chemical. If we break up or lose our loved one we have withdrawl from the "in love" chemical. Maybe us fatties are wired funny and make a "in love" food chemical and when we diet we have withdrawl??? I know ....sounds out there but a relationship is a relationship even with our pets, why not with food? I have dreams about getting back with "chocolate" hahaha I am just putting it out there....(shrug)

    I could get it on with chocolate lol!
  • orange_avocado
    orange_avocado Posts: 232
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    I totally get what you are saying. Old habits are MUCH easier! Bad eating habits are as comfortable as a worn pair of shoes or stretchy jammy pants. It feels like coming home.

    I've never thought about it this way, but YES! Don't get me wrong, I love being that healthy, butt-busting amazon at the gym, but when I "cheat" and spend a Saturday on my couch eating take-out it feels sooooo comfy. Like this is exactly where I belong. "Home" feeling, in short.

    I guess the point of a lifestyle change is creating a new perception of home.
  • Kourtney88
    Kourtney88 Posts: 15 Member
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    Ah the dreams, I have dreams of eating and eating, and thinking I shouldn't be eating this and doing it anyway. Then waking up and being so glad it was a dream.

    I have these ALLL the time! Just last night I had a dream that I absent mindedly munched on some cake. Once I realized it was gone I felt horrible! But then in the dream I decided that I'd just have to work out a ton. haha I was so relieved it was just a dream.
  • ana70
    ana70 Posts: 93
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    It goes in cycles for me too, I am just now interested in following my cycles of motivation like a silent observer watching what makes me tick. I find reading motivational self help books and journaling my goals and my weight help. It shows me how far I have come. And how about taking things in stride, it is what it is, baby steps. At least you are aware and that is key. I lost 50 pounds in four years, i am doing it slow - I got 65 more to go but I'll get there. In my time. I want it bad enough so I will do it. And you can too. Your reasons for wanting to lose weight are the most important thing to focus on - even write them down. Put them on your bathroom mirror. You can do anything you want, you are the master of your destiny. I see great things for you.

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