Just binged...again.

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idawl
idawl Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
Sorry if there are other posts like this - this will be my first.

I've had an eating disorder for the past six years. I've been obsessed with weight loss for years now, but only now am I realizing that my utmost priority is getting rid of this damn ED.

Six years ago I was at a normal weight. My family would make remarks about my weight though and I began starving myself. My lowest BMI was a little bit under 17. I remember my first binge. I wrote in my diary that 3500 calories = 1 pound, and if I could just starve myself again for a few days I'd be fine. Six years later here I am, overweight, and miserable as I continue to oscillate between periods of starvation and completely stuffing my face.

What is wrong with me? I'm not sure if this is even the right place to talk about an ED.

Anyway I thought I was doing much better. I started logging my calories, I joined track, I was eating again. It seemed like I was doing the right thing for once. And I had to ruin it. I had to binge. I ate 3,500 calories today. I'm just so so so done.

Replies

  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
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    I'd disown my family, change my name and move to Alaska.
  • bandit5125
    bandit5125 Posts: 491 Member
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    Don't be so hard on yourself. Tomorrow is another day. Just put this behind you and pick yourself back up, you can do this!
  • spikrgrl503
    spikrgrl503 Posts: 247 Member
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    Tomorrow is a new day! I had an ED as well, for a long time. It helped me to know that it's one day at a time, and as long as I have more days on point (not binging, etc) than not, I'm doing well. When I hit 5 days, 10 days, 30 days no binge I would reward myself with something non-food related.

    I wish you the best of luck
  • quigly101
    quigly101 Posts: 1
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    Dont let it derail you: tomorrow, go back to the normal, track your calories, do your exercise, meet your calorie goal. Do the same thing the next day.
  • 42nFab
    42nFab Posts: 36
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    You know what? We all have things we do that we are not proud of. We are human....we develop patterns and personal demons.
    They don't have to last forever!!
    I think a lot of people on this website have struggled with food and exercise. I think it would be a good idea to talk to your doc who can recommend a good person to share your thoughts with. These binges are a reaction to something and it looks like the actual number 3500 is what you relate to.

    Shake it off this time and try to understand what triggered the binge....and be kind to yourself! :)
  • cjen323
    cjen323 Posts: 20 Member
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    I just had 2 pieces of pumpkin pie :angry: :grumble: :embarassed: :frown: :sick: :cry: :sad:

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