encouraging someone to eat
Amandawith3kids
Posts: 367 Member
withOUT having them developing an eating disorder.
my 12 yr old dd is on meds that suppress her appetite, and on her last checkup, she LOST 2 pounds (which is a big deal for a 12yr old girl) shes already super thin, and i serve her appropriate amounts at dinner, but i know shes not eating enough. i dont want to push, and i dont want her to obsess and end up with a disorder, but the girl needs to EAT! shes not with me all day, with school and joint custody with her father (where she eats junk grrr)
she says shes full, and she probably does feel that way. she knows she needs to eat more, and that she's not hungry due to meds.
stopping her meds is not an option, and all the meds for her condition have the same side effect, so thats no help either. on the days she doesnt take her meds, she does eat well. (or enough, but not "well" at her fathers house)
my 12 yr old dd is on meds that suppress her appetite, and on her last checkup, she LOST 2 pounds (which is a big deal for a 12yr old girl) shes already super thin, and i serve her appropriate amounts at dinner, but i know shes not eating enough. i dont want to push, and i dont want her to obsess and end up with a disorder, but the girl needs to EAT! shes not with me all day, with school and joint custody with her father (where she eats junk grrr)
she says shes full, and she probably does feel that way. she knows she needs to eat more, and that she's not hungry due to meds.
stopping her meds is not an option, and all the meds for her condition have the same side effect, so thats no help either. on the days she doesnt take her meds, she does eat well. (or enough, but not "well" at her fathers house)
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Replies
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Tough one. Does she like calorie dense foods like peanut butter and avocado?0
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Do you have a blender ? Lots of kids think smoothies are a treat, which they can be, but you could stock it full with full fat frozen yogurt, lots of fruits and maybe sneak in some veggies! A great way to get in extra calories is to drink them. (Through healthy options, of course).
Do you already drink full fat milk in your house? Little tweaks like this are great ways to get in some extra calories.0 -
pb, yes, nutella even more. not sure on the avocado. i dont like them and tend to not buy them. i can get one for this weekend when she'l be home.0
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Do you have a blender ? Lots of kids think smoothies are a treat, which they can be, but you could stock it full with full fat frozen yogurt, lots of fruits and maybe sneak in some veggies! A great way to get in extra calories is to drink them. (Through healthy options, of course).
Do you already drink full fat milk in your house? Little tweaks like this are great ways to get in some extra calories.
the blender is about dead.
i could probably swing one soon, but not right now.
we do buy skim milk, because everyone else in the house is either a healthy weight (other 2 kids, and hubby) or overweight (myself and my mom) maybe 2% would be a good compromise.0 -
I understand. I have a 12 year old son that is not on meds, but doesn't really eat that great either. He says he is just not hungry. He has always been a grazer. Makes it hard when they are at school and have an allotted time to eat.
I am curious as to what answers you get. I could use some help in that area as well. I hope you get answers that are helpful for you0 -
I think the trick is to maximize the calorie intake in everything she does eat so that, even if her volume is low, she is still getting enough calories. Meat, avocado, PB, Nutella, nuts, cheese....all good foods that pack a calorie punch at a low volume.0
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Is her doctor worried? She's at an age where slimming out into her adult body is actually normal. And some people aren't big eaters. I never was and was very clim until my late 20s.
I dropped from a size 9 to a size 3 between 7th and 10th grades just from my hormones regulating.
I think if her doctor isn't worried and you don't think she's deliberately trying to lose weight then you might not want to do anything.0 -
Is her doctor worried? She's at an age where slimming out into her adult body is actually normal. And some people aren't big eaters. I never was and was very clim until my late 20s.
I dropped from a size 9 to a size 3 between 7th and 10th grades just from my hormones regulating.
I think if her doctor isn't worried and you don't think she's deliberately trying to lose weight then you might not want to do anything.
not sure. her father took her to her last appt, i was sick and couldnt go. and her father is an *kitten* and wont tell me anything.0 -
Is her doctor worried? She's at an age where slimming out into her adult body is actually normal. And some people aren't big eaters. I never was and was very clim until my late 20s.
I dropped from a size 9 to a size 3 between 7th and 10th grades just from my hormones regulating.
I think if her doctor isn't worried and you don't think she's deliberately trying to lose weight then you might not want to do anything.
not sure. her father took her to her last appt, i was sick and couldnt go. and her father is an *kitten* and wont tell me anything.
Call the office and ask questions.0 -
chocolate or yogurt covered nuts/dried fruit
banana chips
milkshakes made with fortified milk/ice-cream
PB and nutella on toast
If she isnt keen on avacados in their natural state-mash them up into guacamole dip and serve with tortilla chips!0 -
Question: Is she aware of the concern? If not, please don't make a big deal out of it but figure out ways to up her calories.
I struggled with eating disorders in high school.
Ice cream as a treat has protein, fat, and calcium.
Or, peanut butter and trail mixes as a snack.
Honestly though...think back to when you were that age. If you started gaining/developing at her age it may not be an issue for very long, if that makes sense.0 -
Talk to the dr. If he’s worried about her not getting enough nutrients I then definitely agree with the smoothies or juicing option. It’s not high on calories so it may not make a huge dent in her weight but at least you know you’re adding some greens to her diet. A juicer offers more veggie options (spinach/pineapple, carrot/orange, beets/berries, etc…) and in the summer you can even make popsicles, a treat that everyone can enjoy.0
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Definitely call her doctor. As her parent you can ask those questions. If he isn't concerned, you shouldn't be. However, you can start keeping the higher fat snacks in the house for her. Maybe make up a snack box with those items and put it in her room where it is easily accessible, but not hanging out in front of you. Best of luck!0
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Question: Is she aware of the concern? If not, please don't make a big deal out of it but figure out ways to up her calories.
I struggled with eating disorders in high school.
Ice cream as a treat has protein, fat, and calcium.
Or, peanut butter and trail mixes as a snack.
Honestly though...think back to when you were that age. If you started gaining/developing at her age it may not be an issue for very long, if that makes sense.
she knows she lost weight, and she knows she's supposed to be eating more.
i was super skinny without the meds at her age, but i was closer to a normal body weight. i was already getting af at her age, and shes just developing, so at the point she should be storing more body fat in preparation for puberty. i didnt gain weight until i got pregnant with her.
i AM worried about making too much a big deal out of it and triggering an eating disorder. i guess i can take the approach of "making healthy choices" vs "eating more" and just encourage some of the higher fat/calorie dense foods for her. i'm pretty sure my 6 yr old has the same condition and will need meds to, so i'll be doing this all over again with her, although i make ALL her meals, no joint custody situation with her.0 -
i AM worried about making too much a big deal out of it and triggering an eating disorder.
Don't do anything before you talk to her doctor. If he isn't worried, you shouldn't worry.
Some kids are skinny and that doesn't mean there's something wrong. Don't force her to eat beyond hunger unless you suspect a psychological issue (developing an actual ED). That is a terrible habit to start.0 -
Take her out for milkshakes more often. Get her the large and just call it a girls' day out.
Don't make a deal of it. Just give her things that are more calorie dense.0 -
Take her out for milkshakes more often. Get her the large and just call it a girls' day out.
Don't make a deal of it. Just give her things that are more calorie dense.
^ This. Don't mention that you're pushing more calorie dense foods. Just make it part of the family meals and outings. Wishing you all the best.0 -
At 12 years old, the energy content of food should be prioritized way before the nutritional profile. If she's actually willing to eat "junk", you should encourage that. She's losing weight right now- that's actually really damaging at her age.
The body doesn't discriminate against energy sources. It doesn't know good or bad, and 200 calories of easily digestible chips or candy would be utilized by it much faster than it could get 200 calories out of veggies and whatnot.
Just had to get that otu of the way...
As for increasing her intake without making it a big deal, you can easily add oils and butter to her foods before serving them. Add protein powders to her milkshake. And flax seeds, hemp seeds, etc to dinner dishes. Serve juice and milk at meals instead of water. Always keep a yummy dessert at hand (cake, bars, cookies). These are easy ways to increase her calories without bringing up her intake, and this way she can take in a few hundred extra calories per meal without eating a larger volume and feeling overly full.0 -
Here's another snack idea : make a relatively healthy trail mix, with some nuts, seeds , and dried fruit, and throw in some m&m's or other small chocolates. I agree with the posts about not necessarily making her eat MORE, just more calorie dense foods
And with the recommendations about not making it a big deal to her,especially if the doctor hasn't expressed concern. At such a young age it could effect her for the rest of her life. As others have said she is going through hormone changes and her body may naturally be thinning out. Two pounds could really be attributed to having to go to the washroom and wearing heavier close at her last weigh in, really.
Do you serve pasta in your house? Great way to add calories to that is to make it with meat sauce, and sneak it lots of veggies into the sauce and serve with some whole wheat garlic bread with cheese.
It is essentially the opposite of dieting ..instead of thinking, how can I make this meal less calories, for her you have to think, how can I add a few calories? I'd be careful with going overboard on the calories without first talking with her doctor to make sure he or she agrees.0 -
I mean this isnt the BEST idea but why not give her some extremely calorie dense foods that you know she will eat simply because they taste good? I get all these people saying to give her "healthy calorie dense" foods but c'mon... if you're 12 and youre not hungry and your mom comes up to you with an avocado - what you are going to say? Your idea of a refind pallete is chicken strips and macaroni and cheese.0
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what foods does she eat at your house? whatever those are, make sure they are the full fat, full sugar versions to ensure she is getting more calories in.
i agree with those saying speak to the doc before you do anything. if the doc isn't too concerned, keep an eye on her and make those changes so she gets some more calories in.
and yeah maybe take her out for a girls day and get sundaes or milkshakes (although not friendly for someone on a diet, but if you plan ahead of when you will take her you can make it fit in your weekly allowance).
you definitely don't want to force her to eat more if she isn't hungry, but even small changes like full fat dairy and maybe adding extra pb to a sandwich or something can definitely bulk up those calories.0 -
My daughter also struggles to get enough calories in a day. We buy skim milk for the adults and whole milk for her.
Also, we supplement her diet with Ensure. My daughter has about half of one in the evening about 2 hours after dinner. It adds a little over 100 calories extra in a day, and doesn't interfere with her appetite the rest of the day because it's after her other food. (this adds up to 3000 calories in a month, which is nearly a pound) If she's had a really light day calorie-wise we might give her a whole one. Also they are super portable, we bring them with us everywhere.
Message me if you want to talk more about this, or about the struggles of having super calorie dense foods in the house for your daughter while trying to avoid them yourself.0 -
some good ideas everybody, thanks. i'll call her dr in the morning and get the lowdown on if he is worried. i'd call now but he wont call till tomorrow anyway, and shes at her fathers house till after school friday anyway. 0
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Is her doctor worried? She's at an age where slimming out into her adult body is actually normal. And some people aren't big eaters. I never was and was very clim until my late 20s.
I dropped from a size 9 to a size 3 between 7th and 10th grades just from my hormones regulating.
I think if her doctor isn't worried and you don't think she's deliberately trying to lose weight then you might not want to do anything.
not sure. her father took her to her last appt, i was sick and couldnt go. and her father is an *kitten* and wont tell me anything.
Call the office and ask questions.
Definitely call the office. They are legally obligated to share the information with you.0 -
My daughter has a lung condition that makes it hard for her to gain weight and we too face this struggle every day... but we finally got her BMI in the normal range woo hoo.... here's how...
I made my daughter a "special" chocolate milk mix... protein powder, pudding, and dried milk, she adds it to her milk and drinks it at every meal (that we let her...) some days we managed to sneak in an extra 500 calories this way.
Stuff like ketchup, Nutella, jam (butter the bread first), any high calorie condiment we put it at the table and let her go gang busters on it. She has been know to put ketchup on everything on her plate... gross but hey it's calories...
Also my child loves pancakes, so I serve breakfast for dinner about once a week, (Bacon lots of bacon...) she often eats 10 - 12 pancakes in one sitting.0 -
pb, yes, nutella even more. not sure on the avocado. i dont like them and tend to not buy them. i can get one for this weekend when she'l be home.
You won't be doing her a favour by putting straight white sugar into her ie ketchup or nutella (which has 5 1/2 packets of sugar in 2 tablespoons, BTW). Give her healthier foods like fresh fruits such as pineapple, mango and banana, raw nuts, hemp seeds in a smoothie, or 9% greek yogourt (Liberte Mediteranee brand), or full fat cheeses like gouda or aged cheddar or even creme cheese. You don't want to just put fat pounds on her, you want her to build healthy muscle, bone, and brain. Avocado is great - make it into guacamole and serve beef enchiladas topped with it and full fat sour creme and cheese.
Remember it's not just the weight of the body itself, it's the composition that counts.0 -
Of course the greek yogurt, hemp seed, berry shakes my hubby makes her end up in the sink very nasty 4 hours later not drunk just icky clean up, because she hid it and told me she drank it... I'm not joking either, we tried this route we still occasional try this route... In the "chocolate" Shake mix we made her it has Kids Super food as it's base (chocolate flavor), as well as one "whole food" powdered multi vitamin I took out of it's gel cap When your kid won't touch a hemp seed and can taste them in her food some times you have to sneak it in... while still making her eat salad... shake comes after salad. :-)0
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2 lbs is a pretty normal flux in a day- so unless the scale is showing a down ward decline- and the doctor expresses concern... just keep upping the density of food you put in front of her and go with it.0
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I would maybe talk to her doctor about possibly giving her an appetite stimulant. My nephews weren't eating (not because of meds, I don't know what the issue was) and my sister found an appetite stimulant at GNC. I think it was like a powder. It helped them get back to a healthy weight. It's not something I would try without a doctor's advice, but it's an option.0
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I have a stepson that couldn't gain weight so I started giving him the same weight gainer shakes that I drink for breakfast and post training (although his are much smaller, of course). His shake has 8oz of whole milk, 3 eggs, 1 scoops of protein powder, 1/2 cup of oatmeal, a banana and 2 tbsp of peanut butter. The protein powder is chocolate flavored so it tastes like drinking a reese's peanut butter cup and packs around 1,000 calories, lots of protein and healthy fats.0
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