Unhelpful

smkean
smkean Posts: 132
in Motivation and Support
A Partial whine, partially looking for advice.

Last summer I started dieting As I was a very large girl and looked even larger than I weighed! I was miserable and had no confidence and was repulsed every time I looked in the mirror.
I lost a chunk of weight and then took a break for a couple of months (re started in the new year) I have a thyroid disorder that is hard to medicate so losing weights especially hard.

My only friends are male and although they complimented at first, they have now gone back to taking the piss out of my 'healthy lunches' and attempting to temp me with the foods I shouldn't be eating, although I never give in, it's a real drag down when I'm trying so hard, I'm not v good at dieting, I really have to push myself (as this is something or really want). I know they are only joking about (most of the time) but I don't find it funny as this is something I really care about.

Trying to express this doesn't work as I just get a response of, u look fine anyway.
It is something that genuinely bothers me, as it's to easy, and it would be nice if I could just get a bit of support!

Replies

  • Erinelda
    Erinelda Posts: 96
    Tell them it is your body, not theirs and if they keep it up you will lecture them on all the poisons they are putting in their body and how it will likely kill them or give them colon cancer lol. The best way to combat any type of peer pressure is to laugh about it but if you can't just tell you really like what you are eating. At least that's what I'd do. No one has made fun of me yet and I do crazy stuff like broccoli mono meals :P
  • sarahxcx
    sarahxcx Posts: 26 Member
    Well done on the loss so far :smile:

    It can be hard when people don't take it as serious as you do, I find some folks don't realize that its such a big deal to you, and I often have to deal with people trying to feed me cakes and sweets, especially in the office.

    Look it as part of the challenge and give yourself a pat on the back when you do not give into temptation.

    Just a thought but maybe talk to them individually and make them see how much this means to you and let them know it could make a difference to you if they gave you a bit more support.

    Good luck!
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    My husband does that sometimes, its very frustrating. I just say no each time, And each time explain that I am working towards a goal and am determined to reach it. Sooner or later, they'll catch on and see how committed you are and they'll stop. But yes, its frustrating!
  • battybecks
    battybecks Posts: 147 Member
    Ahhh yes, I know that one! Female friends as well as male ones. Usually it's 'you can just have one more pint: that's not going to ruin the diet'. Everyone does it. I remember doing it myself to other people when I was overweight and in denial! The problem is that no one realises just how difficult it makes things for their friend.

    Tell them so. If they knew how much it annoyed you they'd stop - people don't try to sabotage on purpose (at least, if they're your friends they don't). It's banter, or unacknowledged jealousy, or guilt (maybe I should be eating healthy - she's making me feel bad).
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
    Keep saying no. Eventually they will quit asking.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Ignore them, keep telling them "no," or start finding other people to eat with
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Have an honest conversation with them.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    I have a thyroid disorder that is hard to medicate so losing weights especially hard.
    MFP has a Hypothyroidism and Hyperthyroidism group: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/770-hypothyroidism-and-hyperthyroidism

    I have Hasimoto's (autoimmune thyroid disease), and I lost way more slowly than most MFPers. So you need to be especially strong. Ignore the haters, and be good to yourself. Eating well & exercising is an important part of self-care.
  • melissamarah
    melissamarah Posts: 168 Member
    I'm a total tomboy, so pretty much all of my friends are guys, too (my husband jokes that I'm manlier than he is).

    I'd say tell them to pay attention to their own food, and leave you in peace. Or, start joking with them about what they're eating. If they get huffy, then tell them you won't comment on their food if they leave yours alone, too.

    Or, if you're doing some resistance training/lifting, just tell them "you're just jealous because my muscles will be bigger than yours soon!"
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    Assert yourself - it's not about them it's about you - tell them to quit offering you food and that if you want some you will help yourself. They are your friends afterall and shouldn't get butt hurt if you set them straight.
  • AbsolutelyAnnie
    AbsolutelyAnnie Posts: 2,695 Member
    This is about you and about your health. And respect. Real friends are supportive, period. You may need to talk with them one on one, one at a time, about what you are doing and why. Let them know that the joking hurts your feelings and is not helping you with your goals to be healthy. Tell them that you are not asking them to make the same choices you are making but that you are asking them to respect your choices.
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
    Ignore them, keep telling them "no," or start finding other people to eat with
    ^^^ This. And you are wrong on one point, you are good at dieting... look at what you have done so far. You should also look at it as a lifestyle change. You can tell people that you plan on eating as healthy as possible from now on and if they can't support that, then perhaps you shouldn't hang out together anymore. But I find the best alternative is to just ignore it. I went out with friends yesterday and they stopped for soft serve ice cream. I love it and normally would get just a kiddie size cone, but the sugar has really been bothering me lately and so I chose not to get any. One of them started to cajole- oh, just a small one, come on; then make me feel guilty - oh you are making us look bad, you're just showing off; and I didn't say anything, just ignored her and she stopped.

    Now matter what you do, there is always someone who will try to sabotage -intentionally or not. Its up to you to determine how you will react.
  • smkean
    smkean Posts: 132
    Thanks everyone!

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