I'm NOT pregnant!!!!!

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Chug_n_Fly
Chug_n_Fly Posts: 10 Member
in Introduce Yourself
So I had "that moment".

It was five weeks ago when I went home to Nova Scotia on vacation. While shopping I met up with someone I hadn't seen in a while. She twirled me around in front of a ton of people, gushing about my "pregnancy". At the time my baby was 6 months old. Humiliating!!!! The only thing she didn't do was pat my stomach. *UGGGGH*

Unfortunately this wasn't the first time it happened. Five seperate people, who I don't know, asked me when I was due since I've had the baby but it hadn't happened for the last 3 months so I thought I was looking better.

This is so hard for me b/c I've always been skinny. I'm 31 and this is my second child. The weight just isn't coming off with this one. I gained 70 lbs. I had a c-section and lost about 40 lbs right away but nothing since!!! I had a seperated pelvis b/c my baby was so big (10lbs 6 oz) and I couldn't walk for four weeks after I delivered but come on!!!! Enough is enough! Seven entire months have passed and I'm still huge! I was breastfeeding exclusively for a while but now I only nurse once or twice per day. I eat well: oatmeal or healthy cereal twice per day plus one "normal", small, healthy meal. I don't go over 1200 calories per day and I try to exercise as much as I can. I have two 50 lb dogs who I walk every day while I push the baby in the stroller. I do housework all day long plus I try to work out (stationary bike, boxing). WHAT AM I DOING WRONG????? I haven't lost any more weight.

I'm so bummed out. Today I accidentally told my husband what I weigh. I was just discussing how I'm so blah about not losing anymore weight and I blurted out the number by mistake. I would NEVER intentionally share my "number" with him. I'm so mad at myself! So, since my husband now knows I guess it doesn't matter if the rest of the world does. The "number" is 170.

I'm trying not to get too down about it b/c I know there are ppl who have way more to lose than me and I'm sure someone in this world would love to be 170 lbs but it's soooooooooooo hard!

I need some weight loss friends to keep me motivated.

Replies

  • Chug_n_Fly
    Chug_n_Fly Posts: 10 Member
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    So I had "that moment".

    It was five weeks ago when I went home to Nova Scotia on vacation. While shopping I met up with someone I hadn't seen in a while. She twirled me around in front of a ton of people, gushing about my "pregnancy". At the time my baby was 6 months old. Humiliating!!!! The only thing she didn't do was pat my stomach. *UGGGGH*

    Unfortunately this wasn't the first time it happened. Five seperate people, who I don't know, asked me when I was due since I've had the baby but it hadn't happened for the last 3 months so I thought I was looking better.

    This is so hard for me b/c I've always been skinny. I'm 31 and this is my second child. The weight just isn't coming off with this one. I gained 70 lbs. I had a c-section and lost about 40 lbs right away but nothing since!!! I had a seperated pelvis b/c my baby was so big (10lbs 6 oz) and I couldn't walk for four weeks after I delivered but come on!!!! Enough is enough! Seven entire months have passed and I'm still huge! I was breastfeeding exclusively for a while but now I only nurse once or twice per day. I eat well: oatmeal or healthy cereal twice per day plus one "normal", small, healthy meal. I don't go over 1200 calories per day and I try to exercise as much as I can. I have two 50 lb dogs who I walk every day while I push the baby in the stroller. I do housework all day long plus I try to work out (stationary bike, boxing). WHAT AM I DOING WRONG????? I haven't lost any more weight.

    I'm so bummed out. Today I accidentally told my husband what I weigh. I was just discussing how I'm so blah about not losing anymore weight and I blurted out the number by mistake. I would NEVER intentionally share my "number" with him. I'm so mad at myself! So, since my husband now knows I guess it doesn't matter if the rest of the world does. The "number" is 170.

    I'm trying not to get too down about it b/c I know there are ppl who have way more to lose than me and I'm sure someone in this world would love to be 170 lbs but it's soooooooooooo hard!

    I need some weight loss friends to keep me motivated.
  • jlwhelan1
    jlwhelan1 Posts: 664
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    It is ok. I gained a lot with my second and because he was very sick (heart surgery at 3 days plus a lot of other stuff) I could not focus on me at all. It took me awhile but I did lose the 60 I gained. You will lose everything you gained too.

    Sorry you're feeling down. This is a helpful site.
    Welcome and good luck.
  • fitsharon
    fitsharon Posts: 137 Member
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    Hi, I am not an expert but from what I have read on a lot of the posts, you might not be eating enough. Especially since you are still breastfeeding. Have you entered your weight and your activitiy level and got your calorie intake amount. I am pretty sure you should be eating more than 1200 calories a day. I know it sounds crazy but before MFP I was not eating enough calories and once I started to eat more I started to loose more!

    Hope that helps.
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
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    oh, "THAT" moment-- don't you just want to slap some clueless people? How humiliating-- I'm sorry-- I've had it a time or two before, too. You just want to scream, 'HELLO??? DO YOU SEE THE $#@! BABY IN THE STROLLER? "

    But, then again, there was a time I wouldn't have minded the question compared to the one I did receive-- when I had my two year old, I was out with him (one week post partum and wayyyy POOFY), and my then 14 year old skinny-minny daughter and some old lady asked me if he was my first grandchild. Smack. :angry:

    Hang in there-- be faithful to your diary and it will come off-- Just keep swimming-- (Dory, Finding Nemo)
  • JackandJill
    JackandJill Posts: 13
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    I've never had a baby and was asked when I was expecting!!! I replied "expecting what" until I realized what he meant- Jerk!!!!
  • KSmyth
    KSmyth Posts: 1
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    Hang in there. I had three kids. The first one I couldn't loose the weight. It took forever and I ended up needing help.The second one the weight fell off immediately and the third one left 10 pounds on me. Talk to your doctor he/she maybe able to help. Remember your hormones are crazy and can get in the way of loosing weight.
  • iluvsparkles
    iluvsparkles Posts: 1,730 Member
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    this is such a pertinent subject in my life right now, so i just wanted to thank you for posting!

    I have witnessed this happening twice, to a friend lately, and all i can say is, WHO in their right mind would ever ask someone if they are pregnant without knowing the details! it is humiliating and really hurts feelings.

    Anyway, hang in there, thanks for sharing, know that you are not the only one! Apparently it happens every day, and i had no idea that people were so ignorant as to practically call someone fat without meaning to, just because they dont think. Anyway. thats my piece!
  • ericarey85
    ericarey85 Posts: 312 Member
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    I eat well: oatmeal or healthy cereal twice per day plus one "normal", small, healthy meal. I don't go over 1200 calories per day and I try to exercise as much as I can. I have two 50 lb dogs who I walk every day while I push the baby in the stroller. I do housework all day long plus I try to work out (stationary bike, boxing). WHAT AM I DOING WRONG????? I haven't lost any more weight.

    I need some weight loss friends to keep me motivated.

    you might be in starvation mode because you are not eating enough calories with exercising and breast feeding you should be eating more. i will be your weightloss buddy. :flowerforyou:
  • carvan
    carvan Posts: 377 Member
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    I agree, you may not be eating enough. Let me be a little clearer, besides, 3 meals (small) per day, you should also be having 2 snacks. A breastfeeding mom needs an extra 300-500 cals per day, which would be covered by a glass or 2 of milk. You may have put your body at starvation mode, meaning it is not getting enough nutrients, so is hanging on to what it's got. So try eating 5 mini meals a day, each consisiting of a healthy protein and some carb (apple and oz of cheese) low fat whole grain crackers, hummous and veggies, etc. HTH
  • mommymeg
    mommymeg Posts: 3
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    It can't be easy to be in this position, when you feel you have tried everything and nothing is working. What you need to remember is you are still breastfeeding, which even in small doses requires much energy, the first few moths is great because it burns alot of calories.but alot of women find that they stop loosing wieght until they quit breastfeeding. I am not telling you to stop breast feeding but at times the body will hold on to wieght because it realizes it is feeding for 2. perhaps you problem is you are not eating enough. You body could be storing fat as a survival mode. Think about all you do and how little you eat. I know it sounds crazy but you must eat to lose weight. There are many websites available to explain this better then I can., just realize it m,ay be something little like this that is hindering your weight loss.

    I am not obese or extremely overweight but have been asked numerous times this, So people are idiots!!!
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
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    I've never had a baby and was asked when I was expecting!!!

    Trust me, it's even MORE humiliating to be asked that same question when you're a guy :angry: I just get soooo sick and tired of my friends all asking me when I'm due... :explode:
  • Chug_n_Fly
    Chug_n_Fly Posts: 10 Member
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    thanks everyone for the support! it's really encouraging and it makes me want to keep on going. my good friend suggested i not look at the scale for a week so i'm going to try her advice. i may have to have my husband hide it though b/c i'm obsessing!

    i'm a little confused about calorie intake b/c when i signed up this site suggested i have no more than 1200 calories per day to lose 2 lbs per week (based on my height, weight and sex). i'm certainly not meaning to starve myself and i don't really feel hungry, except for the other day when i only consumed 500 calories but i didn't intend to do that, i was super busy, tired and PMS-ing and went to bed early. i also try not to eat after 7pm or so. does that work for anyone else?

    maybe i'll try adding a few more snacks, especially since i'm trying to exercise more. i do find that when i exercise i get tired really easily.

    oh, and i NEVER ask anyone if they're pregnant unless they bring it up. i know a woman who carried a baby full term (she was two days overdue) she suddenly felt the baby stop moving and upon seeing her doctor they discovered it was stillborn. she couldn't get induced until 2 days later so she had to endure painful comments from well meaning people about when the baby was due, etc. you just never know even if it seems obvious. on a positive note, it's a kick *** way to motivate a person to lose weight.
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
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    People are so dumb!!! Who on EARTH is still asking that of anyone??? Hasn't word gotten out that you do NOT ask that anymore!!! AND if you do still ask, the woman should be ONLY belly round, and ONLY if she is bursting out and it is 100000000% that she is preggers. Stupid people!

    1772.gif


    Everyone has some great information here. Keep your motivation! YOU CAN DO IT!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    While still carrying pregnancy weight (two years after my pregnancy.... :frown: ), I had a series of surgeries, one leading to an emergency stomach surgery that left me super "gut poofy". Not only that, but since I had this huge 8'' long incision on my upper stomach that was healing, I often placed my hand over it protectively, ESPECIALLY in public where I was afraid people would bump into me.

    My husband took me out to eat. The restaurant was full. The host asked if we wanted to wait for a seat in non-smoking, since he knew I was pregnant. I felt like he'd punched me in my still surgery sore gut. I smiled and thanked him, but told him I'd be fine where ever he seated me. My husband looked at me sympathetically. I choked down tears until they overtook me and I just sat in our restaurant booth, crying. The guy didn't mean any harm, he meant to be sweet and concerned. But sometimes the sheer stupidity of people is still shocking.

    Like PrincessLaundry said, unless the woman is about to POP, don't dare comment on her pregnancy, not unless she makes a comment first to allude that she is pregnant and you can speak about it.

    And Chug, I've known two ladies who have had to deal with stillborns babies. It's so terribly sad, especially when people would kindly ask when they were due...:brokenheart:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    but...are you pregnant?


    Sorry!!!

    Welcome to MFP!!!
  • jules1984
    jules1984 Posts: 439 Member
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    Just so you know. My sister is a skinnie minnie and always has been. This year she bought this super-fly black baby doll dress. She went to her young hip company holiday party and got compliments. She went to her boyfriend's holiday party and his boss asked him if he had knocked her up. Like I said, she's about a buck ten weight-wise. People are just morons. :noway:
  • natalie1
    natalie1 Posts: 180 Member
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    I was 38 y old. I was in the mall with the stroller and my 2 and 3 year old kids, who were fighting to press the button in the elevator. Man who was passing by, told them: "hey guys, why are you not listening to your grandma?"- he pointed at me :mad:
    Lauryn, that guy forgot about it next minute, while I can't forget that comment for 3 years now...
    Try your best to not to pay attention.
    P.S. MFP website did not know that you were breastfeeding, when they told you 1200cals. You should have 1200+ 500 (breastfeeding cals)+ workout cals.
    Best of luck
  • karen1255
    karen1255 Posts: 18
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    I had my first baby at 31 also, but the second one at age 34 is when I also gained a lot (about 60 pounds). Just feel really proud that you are taking the weight off now, and not 18 years later like I am in the process of doing! Take it easy on yourself and remember, lack of sleep doesn't help the weight loss efforts and there is a good chance that you are somewhat sleep deprived right now. You are a beautiful young mom and the weight will come off with your obvious determination. So. . .are you up for another story about the insensitive people who insist on commenting about pregnancy? I was in London and ready to catch a cab with the woman I was traveling with, a woman from our b&b (one of those totally hard-driving, hard-body, overachieving types) when we noticed another woman waiting in the queue for a cab. We inquired as to where she was going and suggested we share the cab with us. We loaded into the back of one of those great big London cabs where you sit facing one another and made a little small talk about the concert we had just experienced. Suddenly, the hard-body says, "Well. . . .it's just great that the FIVE of us could share this cab tonight. . . ." Painful Silence. . . . .there were obviously just four of us in the cab. Suddenly, Hard Body starts stammering and explaining that since our guest passenger was clearly pregnant, it was the "five of us." This woman stated very crisply that she was not pregnant and how dare a total stranger suggest as much! Wow. . . .what a miserable, totally silent ride that was and it was a long one! I'm guessing Hard Body learned her lesson! I just felt so terrible for that woman.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
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    Hi

    I've been in your shoes
    I never had a weight problem until my 2nd was born
    I held on to the weight for 3 yrs...don't let that be you!!!
    Take control now!

    Before I became pg I was about 138...a few weeks after having dd..I was in the 170's
    I started this site in Jan at 157, and am now 128-129

    You can do it by working out and watching what you eat...take baby steps....don't drink cals...
    ((HUGS))
    The first 1-2 weeks were torture (for me..I'm not going to lie)
    BUT then you do feel better eating better and don't feel hungry and when the weight starts coming off, it's such an inspiration to keep going

    It's sounds corny but feeling thin, good about yourself really does taste better than anything I've ever eaten

    Good luck and if u have any questions..let me know
    Welcome :)

    Kim
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
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    I had my first baby at 31 also, but the second one at age 34 is when I also gained a lot (about 60 pounds). Just feel really proud that you are taking the weight off now, and not 18 years later like I am in the process of doing! Take it easy on yourself and remember, lack of sleep doesn't help the weight loss efforts and there is a good chance that you are somewhat sleep deprived right now. You are a beautiful young mom and the weight will come off with your obvious determination. So. . .are you up for another story about the insensitive people who insist on commenting about pregnancy? I was in London and ready to catch a cab with the woman I was traveling with, a woman from our b&b (one of those totally hard-driving, hard-body, overachieving types) when we noticed another woman waiting in the queue for a cab. We inquired as to where she was going and suggested we share the cab with us. We loaded into the back of one of those great big London cabs where you sit facing one another and made a little small talk about the concert we had just experienced. Suddenly, the hard-body says, "Well. . . .it's just great that the FIVE of us could share this cab tonight. . . ." Painful Silence. . . . .there were obviously just four of us in the cab. Suddenly, Hard Body starts stammering and explaining that since our guest passenger was clearly pregnant, it was the "five of us." This woman stated very crisply that she was not pregnant and how dare a total stranger suggest as much! Wow. . . .what a miserable, totally silent ride that was and it was a long one! I'm guessing Hard Body learned her lesson! I just felt so terrible for that woman.

    Oh my gosh-- that's a bad one-- sheesh.

    Clueless-- :noway:

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