Negative people

nycnettie
nycnettie Posts: 44 Member
in Motivation and Support
I feel I'm a pretty strong person, but I'm getting tired of the insults. I was given a weightloss drink for Valentine's Day as a family member felt it was better then giving me chocolate. Have recieved several comments over the years indicating that I am needing to lose weight (by family members again). I feel like saying I am well aware that I am overweight and constantly putting me down only makes it harder for me. Geesh, does anyone have these issues with family members?

Replies

  • aprilflower18232
    aprilflower18232 Posts: 205 Member
    When I was 11 my father gave me a can of slim fast in front of my friends.....and just last week he told me I should have started losing weight sooner....my step mother used to call me FATA** all the time
  • nycnettie
    nycnettie Posts: 44 Member
    Congratulations on your weightloss!!!! That is AWESOME!!!!I totally feel your pain. My Father would weigh me on the bathroom scale he would pull out and bring into the kitchen and have me step on it. It really affected me through my life. I have a very low self esteem and extremely poor body image of myself.
  • nycnettie
    nycnettie Posts: 44 Member
    Congratulations on your weightless! That is AWESOME!!!
  • slhall0822
    slhall0822 Posts: 128 Member
    I have had similar problems with my grandmother over the years (who doesn't have a weight problem at all). Until about 3 years ago, I lived out of the state for about 10 years. Every time I came home to visit she would comment on my weight. The last time she did it, about three years ago... our conversation went a little like this...

    Grandma: "Well, long time no see... you're getting kind of chunky (as she patted my hips)"

    Me: "Yep. And you're getting kind of wrinkly"

    We all laughed but I could tell it hit home for her. She hasn't made a single comment about my weight since then :). Sometimes you have to dish it back at them.
  • nycnettie
    nycnettie Posts: 44 Member
    I like your approach! I hope to get the confidence to stand my ground.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    Amongst other comments, my dad insisted in waking me up at 6AM M-F when I was in middle school and made me run around the block 4 times before I could come back in. :-(

    Sometimes they think they're helping, and giving 'tough love', but it really does effect our self esteem. Sorry you're going through that, OP.
  • spoiledpuppies
    spoiledpuppies Posts: 675 Member
    Is it possible that the person who gave you a weight loss shake was actually trying to be supportive, if they know you're trying to lose? My husband just gave me Quest bars and fitness magazines for my birthday, and I just thought these were so very thoughtful.
  • slhall0822
    slhall0822 Posts: 128 Member
    I like your approach! I hope to get the confidence to stand my ground.

    Other approaches I've made include sarcasm... like when my family members mention my weight, I'll reply with..

    "Thanks for cluing me in on my weight issue. I don't own a SINGLE mirror OR a scale. Thank you for always making sure I stay aware of my body issues."

    Or something similar to the above :) I've found what works best is expressing to them that they aren't telling you anything new and THEY are in fact being the jerk.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    I think women get more negative comments than men do, as women are sort of expected to live up to the aesthetic ideal of what is considered feminine and attractive.

    Which is not to say that men don't get hit with snarky little comments about their weight, because I'm sure they do. But I don't think they are made to feel like societal failures, the way women are.

    Best thing to do I think is to remember - that little snarky comment says way more about the other person than it does you.
  • aprilflower18232
    aprilflower18232 Posts: 205 Member
    No....I don't believe he was trying to help....I was 11... It was just uncalled for....

    I think it's hard for me to take positive comments from people now because I never received them when I was younger....I am getting better though.,,,,
  • spoiledpuppies
    spoiledpuppies Posts: 675 Member
    No....I don't believe he was trying to help....I was 11... It was just uncalled for....

    I think it's hard for me to take positive comments from people now because I never received them when I was younger....I am getting better though.,,,,

    I was referring to the OP. I hope you do get used to some positivity though.
  • weightliftingdiva
    weightliftingdiva Posts: 522 Member
    Wow, I'm so sorry you guys had to endure this. It's one thing to gently guide your children/grandchildren on a healthy path. It's totally another thing to be purposefully mean to them.

Categories