HELP!! My complex and loose skin ruined my motivation

brey1986
brey1986 Posts: 35 Member
in Motivation and Support
I had worked my butt off (literally) and lost 70 lbs, but over the past year have gained back 30 lbs! Its so frustrating because I had been soooo motivated.

I have always been somewhat over weight since puberty and never could wear a bikini or find clothes that fit right. I finally got fed up with it all enough to drop 70 lbs through A LOT of sweat, dedication, and optimism. My light at the end of the tunnel that drove me, was finally being able to wear a bikini and be proud of my stomach. It was worth every single second of pain, worth every refusal of a cupcake..what I had to gain was much more important.

Things started falling apart when I discovered that due to me being overweight for so long, I had kind of saggy skin on my belly. I looked good with clothes on, but naked...I disgusted myself. I had worked myself like crazy doing 2 hrs a day of intense exercise and extreme food logging to prepare for a beach vacation to mexico last may...doing everything I could to get beach ready. I found some cute monokinis to wear that did cover my saggy skin, but left everything else bare like a bikini would. We went on that vacation and somewhere in the middle I had a revelation, and it was this:
"No matter how much discipline I have, or how determined I am, I will never be happy with my new body without surgery'

DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF BLOW THAT IS TO TAKE!? To suddenly discover that the goal you have had all this time..the thing that has driven you, is unattainable!?

I found myself thinking "WHY BOTHER" why exercise myself into the ground, and calorie count like I have OCD, if I still sit in our hotel room in Mexico and cry because im so unhappy (all while weighing 118 lbs)

I believe another part of my issue is what I call fat girl complex...who sits in the room crying because they are fat at 118 lbs? Looking back at pictures, I crave to look like that! This 30 lbs has not been nice to me.
even with a skin issue, I was much happier with myself then..Im just having trouble getting motivated to try when I know my real goal is not gonna happen with out surgery..and I just dont have the cash to do that

Seriously...need some sort of hope out there yall.

Replies

  • xsmilexforxmex
    xsmilexforxmex Posts: 1,216 Member
    Sounds to me like you need to get comfortable with your body more than anything. The skin will get tighter eventually, and if not, honestly how much healthier are you?
    If it really is a surgery or nothing type of thing.. start saving now and make that your end goal... just add like 10$ for every lb you lose and then another 5-10 for evey week you keep it off. That's 40$ a month which you will prob save from not eating out anyway. When you get to however much you need, congratulate yourself with your surgery, and then use your new found saving habit to save for another trip to cancun (or other mexican beach city)!
  • mmcdonald700
    mmcdonald700 Posts: 116 Member
    I haven't been exactly in your position, so I can't say I know how you feel. But the advice I would give is... to love your body and wear that extra skin as a badge of honor that represents the struggles you've come through the other side of (I know that can be easier said than done, but it's something to work on one day at a time). Extra skin doesn't make you unhealthy, but being overweight does so... maybe instead of making it all about how you look try to focus on how you feel and using your body as a tool not just something nice to look at. For example, to celebrate a milestone instead of making it about, for example, the bikini.. do something you couldn't have done before like hike a mountain or something like that. Also to give you a little hope... I have heard that the skin elasticizes a bit with time. It totally depends on your age, sex, genetics, environmental factors and how much you lost but I have heard that it can improve over a year or maybe a little more if you keep the weight off. Will you ever have 0 loose skin? Probably not. But the same goes for a lot of women who have had pregnancies or who have also lost a significant amount of weight so you're definitely not alone. Your body isn't unattractive, and it honestly probably looks better to other people than it does to yourself because people will always find a flaw in their own body. Good luck! I hope that you can change your mindset about it because you deserve to be happy about your body and your life! :)
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    I've lost quite a bit of weight twice. The first time was about 60 lbs and I can tell you it took well over a year for my head to catch up with my body. I didn't really realize just how slim I was until well over a year after getting to that target weight. I eventually became happier with my body.

    This time (after two pregnancies) I have lost 35 lbs that I'd gained back and, once again, it took me a while to begin to feel comfortable. Even now - about 18 months after losing that 35 lbs - I'm still having days where I feel like the fat girl I once was. That feeling comes from inside. It's not about your physical body.

    Give it time. Get back to it and fight to stay there. The longer you stay there the more your tummy will firm up. Lift some weights if you're not already. As your body struggles to add muscle to your frame it will take the excess energy it needs from any remaining fat on you. Don't worry so much about your skin. You need to learn to love you no matter what your tummy looks like. You are more than your belly.
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    What XsSmileForMesaid. And also, every time you're tempted to overeat, take the money you would have spent and drop it in your skin surgery/tummy tuck jar as well.

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