8000 day juice detox to get that thigh gap

heybales
heybales Posts: 18,842 Member
So first you want to plan this so it's sustainable.

Since 8000 days is about 50 years, we are probably talking a lifetime here, so better make it good.

First you need to start with raspberry ketones in the juice, but since a juice, just use the whole raspberries. Other fruits and vegetables can be switched up as desired.
Use lots of celery for it's negative calorie effects.
Use hot peppers for it's metabolism raising properties too. Or was-obi may mix better.

Second you'll need some sustaining protein powder, make sure it has BCAA in it. Think carefully about flavors that mix well with those fruity flavors.

Third, you need fat for various things, but it would mess up a juice, so just eat some butter sticks.
Just don't eat 500 calories of fat, or you'll gain a lb of fat.

So, how does this lead to thigh gap?

Well, the amount of time you should be squatting on the toilet should help shift your hip bones out such that it gives you that thigh gap whenever you can stand.





The above suggestions have been brought to you by my friend's list.

As something to do on my 8000 post.

Which is rarely this brief, or nonsensical.

Replies

  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    Congrats on your 8000th post Bales
  • MzOnree
    MzOnree Posts: 124 Member
    Perfect! I'm going to start the detox today! Since I am 50 and it will take about 50 years...dang, when I am 100 I will have that awesome thigh gap! Bales, thank you so much for the advice! I gotta run...seriously...I got the runs, lol! Happy 8,000! That is unheard of my man! :wink: Keep on being awesome !
  • Maurice1966
    Maurice1966 Posts: 419 Member
    I didn't think I wanted a thigh gap but this seems to good to pass up. Thanks man! :drinker:
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Just wanted to say thanks for helping so many on here and congrats on 8000 :flowerforyou:
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member

    Since 8000 days is about 50 years, we are probably talking a lifetime here, so better make it good.


    8000 days is 21.91 years.

    YouLieIHateLiars_GraphicCreditMemeGeneratorNet.jpg

    I expect more from you Bales, you make a spreadsheet that uses complex formulas but fail at simple math. Ohh shame.

    For everyone else, I am kidding. Heybales is da man.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    Congratulations on your 8000 post. I shall drink juice to salute you! :drinker:
  • 89nunu
    89nunu Posts: 1,082 Member
    I'm so gonna do that juicing thing!!! Gimme some thigh gap! :drinker:

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  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
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  • soupandcookies
    soupandcookies Posts: 212 Member
    I loathe the term "thigh gap."

    Woot to 8000!
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    In for 8000 thigh gaps.
  • Barbell_Jules
    Barbell_Jules Posts: 358 Member
    Cheers to 8,000 posts HB!!! :drinker:

    I am thankful for all your knowledge sir, I've learned a lot from you! :flowerforyou:
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    8000 for a thigh gap- I'm so in.

    can you juice bacon though?
  • ActuarialChef
    ActuarialChef Posts: 1,413 Member
    Happy 8000th post! Now you better get started on your 8000 day juice cleanse so you can get all ze thigh gapz

    :smile: :flowerforyou:

    In all seriousness, thanks for all of your hard work and help. I recommend your spreadsheet to everyone who will listen.
  • heybales
    heybales Posts: 18,842 Member

    Since 8000 days is about 50 years, we are probably talking a lifetime here, so better make it good.


    8000 days is 21.91 years.

    YouLieIHateLiars_GraphicCreditMemeGeneratorNet.jpg

    I expect more from you Bales, you make a spreadsheet that uses complex formulas but fail at simple math. Ohh shame.

    For everyone else, I am kidding. Heybales is da man.

    Ya, it was suggested to have bad math in it, so 3 instances of getting numbers wrong, that was one of them.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Happy 8000 bales! You are awesome! Thanks for all the hard work and advice ;)
  • MzOnree
    MzOnree Posts: 124 Member
    I'm bumping this to keep it rolling!

    Dang, I trusted you Bales! I believed your math was correct. So I can have a thigh gap when I'm 73 instead of 100 years of age?! For once, I'm glad your math was wrong. Bring on my THIGH GAP...woohoo! ;o)
  • harlanJEN
    harlanJEN Posts: 1,089 Member
    What if I don't like juice? Can I do BACON instead?

    I'm also thankful that you suck at basic math because if I start tomorrow ( as soon as I get over my aversion to drinking Juice ) I too can have a thigh gap by the time I'm in my early 70s. SCORE! Will be rockin those ...

    What DOES one Rock when one has a thigh gap? And what are the other rules I need to be mindful of?

    No white shoes after Labor day, no belly shirts if you have a belly, no Daisy Dukes if you are over 70??
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    In for thigh gap


    Now give me 8000 push-ups
  • JaimeLoves2run
    JaimeLoves2run Posts: 9 Member
    Oh my gosh this is freaking hysterical. Squats here we come :)
  • JBnyc99
    JBnyc99 Posts: 100 Member
    Superb.

    Can I convince you to climb 8,000 floors with me?

    I'm ready when you are!
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
    Woohoo for 8000!
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    And a chicken. :tongue:
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    What about the bikini bridge?
  • heybales
    heybales Posts: 18,842 Member
    8000 for a thigh gap- I'm so in.

    can you juice bacon though?

    2 bacon requests. I think it would chip up nicely, and add some of that needed fat too.
    Sure taste better.

    Can you fry juice?
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    But will my HRM track progress towards my thigh gap?
  • harlanJEN
    harlanJEN Posts: 1,089 Member
    But will my HRM track progress towards my thigh gap?

    Of course not - gotta have a special doodad that is only sold on late night TV that comes with your 90 day supply of ointments ( available via auto ship) for thigh gap measuring. OMG - how are you EVAH gonna get one if you are not using the right equipment ??
  • unhinge
    unhinge Posts: 318 Member
    But will my HRM track progress towards my thigh gap?

    Of course not - gotta have a special doodad that is only sold on late night TV that comes with your 90 day supply of ointments ( available via auto ship) for thigh gap measuring. OMG - how are you EVAH gonna get one if you are not using the right equipment ??

    Hurry, offer ends soon! If you place your order in the next few minutes we will send you TWO HRM tracking thigh gap monitors for the low low price of $19.95 plus $8000 shipping!!!
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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  • 89nunu
    89nunu Posts: 1,082 Member
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    hahaha :D I want one :D
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
    I saw the name of this post and reflexes made me punch myself in the face!

    Then I saw it was Bales!!!!!