Another 'mean people' thread

itsHealthy
itsHealthy Posts: 119 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was sitting next to 2 other women at a party. The one immediately next to me is a good friend for years and is thin. Honestly, I am happy for her- she looks great. The problem is she is constantly fishing for compliments and I don't mind at all!

The reason I am writing this- The one sitting next to the thin friend is someone I met just that day first time in the party. While my thin friend was fishing as usual....the other woman passed a comment saying that my friend looks great while she and I are the fat ones :( Seriously???? At 16 pounds to lose (started at 20) I do not even remotely consider myself fat. My hands are the problem area which probably make me look chubbier than I want to....but hey...we just met...I know you are never going to be my friend!! :(

Sorry...rant over! Thank you for listening!

Replies

  • 20More
    20More Posts: 45
    I completely understand! At one of my jobs (I work 2 part time jobs) I get remarks if I bring in veggies and fruits for my lunch and they never say good for you or hey, you are looking good. If a client has brought in food for us, they will pack it all away before I get my break. I get the hint and should thank them right?! If they ask where I am going when I leave work and I say to go for a work out, the conversation with me is done. There is no thin person that works there but I do not judge them for their size but maybe they think I do. I hate drama!! I also have 16lbs to go and they are not easy to get off but we must understand, they are not happy with themselves so how can they be happy for someone else. If we take 1 pound off a week, we will have 1 pound to go by the 4th of July:flowerforyou:
  • itsHealthy
    itsHealthy Posts: 119 Member
    oh my! thanks for the calculation! 1 pound a week...let's do this!!!
  • chunkybun
    chunkybun Posts: 179 Member
    That would be the point where I would have said, "speak for yourself"
  • itsHealthy
    itsHealthy Posts: 119 Member
    That would be the point where I would have said, "speak for yourself"
    I wish I did...I always tell myself I will do it next time...but just stay quiet and smile :((((
  • girlmrcs_1
    girlmrcs_1 Posts: 4 Member
    If this is a place to rant and rave, then I must say that if I don't give myself compliments; I never get them. My husband refuses to acknowledge my weight loss. Its frustrating, but I guess if I'm not my own champion, I'll get nowhere. Congrats to everyone who is making progress!
  • lilmisfit1987
    lilmisfit1987 Posts: 183 Member
    If this is a place to rant and rave, then I must say that if I don't give myself compliments; I never get them. My husband refuses to acknowledge my weight loss. Its frustrating, but I guess if I'm not my own champion, I'll get nowhere. Congrats to everyone who is making progress!

    Ugh, I wish I could track down every lady on here who's losing weight and has an unsupportive husband just so I can knock some sense into them. (the husbands that is, not the ladies)

    I know how you feel OP. I never speak up for myself when I know I should either. I just nod and smile like an idiot and then kick myself for it later. Oddly, I have no problem speaking up for other people...
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
    Funny that you bring up this topic. I was out for drinks and appetizers one night after work. There were 6 of us there. Only one did not need to lose any weight. The rest of us could lose been 25 and 200 pounds.

    I listened to them pick on another woman who was not there. Saying they don't like going out with her because she tracks what she eats all the time. Even when they go out. Okay this woman is thin an fit. She goes skiing, snowboarding, running etc.

    I so look up to her. I was sitting there thinking...oh **** don't log anything. The funny thing is I did log it. I don't care what people have to say.

    As far as anyone calling me fat. That is a sure fire way to get reamed. I even got rid of a friend because as I continued to lose weight she got nastier and nastier to me. When I was off work for major surgery not once in 6 weeks did she call and check on me.
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    If this is a place to rant and rave, then I must say that if I don't give myself compliments; I never get them. My husband refuses to acknowledge my weight loss. Its frustrating, but I guess if I'm not my own champion, I'll get nowhere. Congrats to everyone who is making progress!

    I don't know your situation or your husband, but in defense of my gender I'll say this: we men are conditioned to keep our big mouths shut about stuff like that. I would never mention my wife's weight unless she specifically asked, and even then I would hedge my bets. She's always beautiful to me.

    This doesn't apply to all men of course!
  • Cyclingbonnie
    Cyclingbonnie Posts: 413 Member
    Hey, I want the world to acknowledge that I've lost weight … however … I hate the "Oh my god you've lost a ton!" … yes I was obese … and now I'm simply fat … I'll get to normal soon. It would be nice if people could just go to "You look great!"

    If given the choice of nothing and the first one here … I'll take the first one … I want people to acknowledge my hard work even if it isn't quite a wonderful compliment :wink:
  • Iknowsaur
    Iknowsaur Posts: 777 Member
    If this is a place to rant and rave, then I must say that if I don't give myself compliments; I never get them. My husband refuses to acknowledge my weight loss. Its frustrating, but I guess if I'm not my own champion, I'll get nowhere. Congrats to everyone who is making progress!

    I don't know your situation or your husband, but in defense of my gender I'll say this: we men are conditioned to keep our big mouths shut about stuff like that. I would never mention my wife's weight unless she specifically asked, and even then I would hedge my bets. She's always beautiful to me.

    This doesn't apply to all men of course!

    ^ This.
    Even when I try to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend about my weight (I'm having surgery for it in May for crying out loud) I always either get "don't call my girlfriend fat you *****" (which admittedly makes me giggle) or "shhh, no, you're beautiful." Which is actually annoying, because just because my weight is out of control right now doesn't mean I don't think I'm beautiful >>

    Anyhoot, my point is... maybe he just doesn't want to say the wrong thing! Us girls can be a little crazy about our weight. I got mad at my sister once for pointing out that I was "less fat" because it felt really evil and backhanded. She didn't mean anything by it.
  • bonoeuf
    bonoeuf Posts: 58 Member
    I'm with jruzer, been programmed to keep the mouth shut. Hey you look great; " so I didn't look great before then". I tried it and when the mood is wrong, nothing I say is right, so say nothing. I need to loose weight, it is enough for me when I do and I can notice.
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
    OP - people don't think when they talk - they really don't. It's like they spew diarrhea out of their mouths constantly. I still have people refer to me as one of the bigger girls if I'm with people who weigh 350+ - I am 5 lbs overweight. I do have a pretty solid looking build though with broad shoulders etc but still.... really? I think I'm huge in my mind but I know that I'm not huge in reality.

    And for compliments from husbands - did you ever tell your husband that you didnt' agree that you were beautiful or pretty or good enough? Because that can play into it too. Unless I get dressed up for date nights, when my husband compliments me I tend to say something liek "shutup" (in a nice way) or "yeah but look at my thighs" or whatever body part it is that day. He still tries and I HATE that I do it but I woudln't be surprised if he stopped doing it one day because I can't accept a freakin compliment. And many guys just don't know what to say

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