It was all going so well.........

Jax67
Jax67 Posts: 323 Member
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
Then in september my 22 year old son fell off a 60ft wall and broke nearly every bone in his body including his neck and his back in two places. Consequently he has now been in hospital for 12 weeks and is paralysed from the waist down. Luckily he didn't bash his head and still has the use of his arms. He is coping really well and has recently been transferred to a rehabilitation unit three and a half hours away from here. I miss him dearly and am only able to see him a couple times a month due to the cost of travel and accommodation.

I'm not here asking for any sympathy, but what i do want is a giant kick up the backside please..... i have completely gone off the rails, i hit rock bottom, fell to pieces ate every thing in sight and have put 18 pounds back on, i haven't exercised in months and feel awful. I really can't find the motivation to invest in me again. I have been logging in here every day but feel like an outsider with my nose pressed against the window.

Any words of encouragement and advice would be greatly appreciated

Thanks

Jax

Replies

  • superwmn
    superwmn Posts: 936
    I am so sorry for everything that you are going through and think it is understandable that you would turn to food for comfort.

    When my father was in the hospital after his accident, I took a few days to feed the pain but then got back in the groove by thinking of him. He would have given ANYTHING to be able to get out of that hospital bed and move his body.

    Keep us updated on your and your son's progress :)

    Charmagne
  • bree1609
    bree1609 Posts: 136
    I can't imagine what you're going through, and I feel very sorry for your recent trials. However, it's times like these when we need to pick ourselves up. Your son needs all the positive energy he can get right now. You have this amazing opportunity to be an inspiration to him. He's going to be going through physical trials for what sounds to me like the rest of his life. By tackling your own physical trials you can inspire him to keep pushing forward.

    Best of luck to you!
  • asltiffm
    asltiffm Posts: 521 Member
    Wow! I can't imagaine what you and your family have been going through! I'm so sorry!

    Let him be your inspiration. He must be woking really hard to regian control of his life (stating with all the tiniest things first). He is tackling some seriously big issues right now. You can let that be your catalyst to make big changes in your life too. He's going to need your support and exercise will give you the extra energy you need to help him...and it might help you work through some of the emotional issues I'm sure you are struggling with right now. He needs you and he needs you to be healthy. Who knows, you might just inspire him as well. I wish your family the best through this new chapter.
  • Suedre
    Suedre Posts: 435 Member
    Let me start by saying, I can’t imagine something serious happening to my child and I do not pretend for even a second to know or understand what you’re going through. I do have an elder in my family that has been sick off and on for a few years. In the last six months, it’s become extremely difficult. She’s in a lot of pain and in and out of different senior rehab facilities, hospitals and they’ve even made noise of hospice. I see her several times a week and it is completely draining. Not just her and the situation she’s in, but my mom is falling apart and all of the other residents are just as sad and troubled. I’ve never been surrounded by so much sadness. For me, the gym or a long run is the time that I can just not think about it. I love going to step class turning my brain off and simply following the instructor’s calls. I don’t have to worry about her, the family, Christmas gifts, work deadlines, errands I have to run, or anything really. Just do a right basic when she calls it. On the long runs, all I have to do is listen to my tunes. That’s it. Just listen. It keeps me going back day after day.

    Good luck to you with everything. I hope you find your happy place really soon.
  • Suzy4t
    Suzy4t Posts: 4
    Try to remember if you don't invest in yourself, how are you going to encourage your son to invest in himself. If he needs physical help, how will you be able to help if you are in bad health and have no energy. What you have been through is heart wrenching. I have 3 children and can only imagine what you are going through. You are going to need your strength and health more then ever. You have to do this for yourself and your son. You may be going through a depressive episode which really cuts down on energy. Be sure to talk to your doctor if you feel depressed and unable to cope. i have suffered from depression and I have to say sense doing some exercise it helps me feel better and have more energy. It can be small steps which is what I do short walks, easy exercises maybe something like something on the wii. even if only 5 or 10 minutes a day it still helps. You will be in my thoughts. If you need someone to talk to feel free to friend me. My best wishes your son continues to improve. Now take care of you so you can help him more :)))
  • kld4239
    kld4239 Posts: 186 Member
    Sorry to hear of your difficulties over the past few months. 2010 has been a particularly challenging year personally for me as well. What I have taken away from my experiences is that I need to be the healthiest person that I can be. Sounds selfish right? I think the opposite. I have found that people around me find that my strength and determination to drastically change my lifestyle motivational and it encourages them not just to get healthy but in other ways as well. I hope you can find this strength in yourself and I wish you and your son the best of luck.
  • dbrady102
    dbrady102 Posts: 139 Member
    I can't imagine what you're going through, and I feel very sorry for your recent trials. However, it's times like these when we need to pick ourselves up. Your son needs all the positive energy he can get right now. You have this amazing opportunity to be an inspiration to him. He's going to be going through physical trials for what sounds to me like the rest of his life. By tackling your own physical trials you can inspire him to keep pushing forward.

    Best of luck to you!

    I agree with what was posted here. The positive energy you will bring your son by having more energy through exercise will help both of you cope and deal with this situation better. I probably don't have to tell you how much exercise can help you deal with the depression that must come from this type of situation. I have a 22 year old son and can't begin to imagine how hard this must be. No one can that hasn't gone through it. I pray that he will be out of the hospital soon and for you and your family. BTW, don't beat yourself up for slipping during this time, it's completely understandable. Just do your best to move forward for you and for your son.
  • skywalker
    skywalker Posts: 1,533
    I can't imagine what you're going through, and I feel very sorry for your recent trials. However, it's times like these when we need to pick ourselves up. Your son needs all the positive energy he can get right now. You have this amazing opportunity to be an inspiration to him. He's going to be going through physical trials for what sounds to me like the rest of his life. By tackling your own physical trials you can inspire him to keep pushing forward.

    Best of luck to you!
    I also have to agree with this. I have no children and won't pretend to know what you're going through, but I will say this...

    Jax, you've come so far with fitness goals. You've been an inspiration here on MFP, now inspire your son. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on your bike. You'll have the energy you need to help him and to make sure that his mum is in his life for as long as possible. Hang in there, Jax. Stay strong!
    :heart: :heart: :heart:
    becks
  • skywalker
    skywalker Posts: 1,533
    :::hugs::: :heart:
  • Jax67
    Jax67 Posts: 323 Member
    Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply to me.

    I am back on the wagon as of today!

    My son has given me a huge telling off and ordered me to get back at it - so that's what i'm going to do.

    He is doing well and i am so proud of him, his attitude is amazing, his latest achievement is - he has learnt how to do slides in his wheelchair!! Next stop wheelies??? lol

    Happy new year to you all, i hope 2011 is kind to you.

    Jax x
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