My very first post on MFP

I am not new to MFP but I have never posted before. I have read a lot of posts by others and can relate to so much of what is said here. But while there are many similar stories, everyone’s path is unique and affected by their own personal experiences. I have felt compelled to share my story lately, so here goes…

I have struggled with weight and body image issues my entire life. A lot of this has to do with some of my early interactions with men (including my father) but blame is not productive. Most of my attempts at weight loss have been spurred by the image I see in the mirror and most have been unsuccessful. It turns out that for me, vanity is not the best motivator. Last year, I was diagnosed with a pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor (think Steve Jobs) and had to have an operation known as the Whipple. That changed everything.

The Whipple, which is known as the grand-daddy of surgeries, involves removal of part of the pancreas, removal of the gall bladder, removal of the duodenum, removal of part of the stomach and a complete re-route of the bile ducts. It causes severe GI issues and many people end up on medication for the rest of their lives. While my recovery from surgery was rough and included many complications, thankfully, I do not need medication and I can eat fairly normally now. However, with my new anatomy, I felt a new responsibility to take much better care of myself. My research indicated that being overweight was a risk factor for ALL disease and I decided I owed it to myself to control the one piece that was within my power. Unlike past attempts at weight loss, my focus was on health and not on my jean size. I started buying organic food as much as possible, cooking for myself as much as possible, learning to identify “poisons” in packaged and processed foods, cutting alcohol out almost completely and exercising regularly. I will admit that in the beginning I was obsessive and I have now learned to eat intuitively and accept that there will be parties, dinners out and many other situations in which I do not have total control over food preparation (thank goodness). Some days, I will not be able to, or even want to, exercise. And that’s okay, this is a process and it’s about doing the best you can the majority of the time. Oh, and along the way, I lost almost 44 pounds.

I guess the point of sharing all of this is that when I focused on what I like to call “extreme self-care,” the pieces fell into place. When I stopped punishing myself for every “bad” meal or missed workout, and started celebrating every minor win, I became more and more motivated to get and remain healthy. And when I realized that I didn’t want to just survive, I wanted a long, full life with unlimited possibilities, I learned to make myself and my healthy habits a priority. I am now cancer-free and committed to staying that way (hopefully, the universe supports that!).

I wish you all success in your weight loss journey. Try to be kind to yourself along the way and allow for missteps, missed workouts and chocolate. It really is about progress, not perfection.