Kicking the Poor Self Esteem Habit
enlighted09
Posts: 22 Member
For many reasons, people end up with poor self esteem issues. We wonder, "How the h#!! did we end up here?" We certainly didn't plan it to come out this way. . I have always struggle with poor self esteem issues, especially about my weight. I reflected on my life, trying to remember when it started and it finally came to me. I remember I was 12 yrs old and back then in school, they used to take field trips to some building where they could record your height and weight. The bus driver that drove us was standing by the scales and when I got on, it registered 150 lbs. He shouted loudly, "D@m^, she weigh more than I do!":noway: I was so embarrassed that I never held my head up again. I was always self conscious about my looks and weight. I did not care about myself. Who knew one small event would have such a powerful impact on my mind set. Don't misunderstand me, he in no way caused it all but, he was a catalyst. I was at a vulnerable and impressionable age (preteen). Believe it or not, kids believe what adults say. Long story short, I lived a miserable life for 44 years.:sad: Last year was a defining moment for me. I realized that I am just as important as the next person. I deserve to be loved and pampered just like everyone else. I always tried to lose weight for someone (man) and some other reason (health), but never for me.
Now, my weight loss journey is just for me and me alone. No one is pushing me or trying to scare me into it. I began for myself. I want to be smaller person. I want to be able to walk with a semi normal gait (2 back surgeries). I wanted to be able to play outside with my grandchildren. Today, I hold my head high and love myself...love myself hard. I am worthy of it and demand it. If you don't love yourself inwardly, you can't change yourself outwardly.
Anybody gone through similar experiences?
Now, my weight loss journey is just for me and me alone. No one is pushing me or trying to scare me into it. I began for myself. I want to be smaller person. I want to be able to walk with a semi normal gait (2 back surgeries). I wanted to be able to play outside with my grandchildren. Today, I hold my head high and love myself...love myself hard. I am worthy of it and demand it. If you don't love yourself inwardly, you can't change yourself outwardly.
Anybody gone through similar experiences?
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Replies
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My self esteem sucked until I started to practice self love, to look after myself and have a positive outlook.
If I wanted, I could be such a miserable depressed person, but why would I want that? People should celebrate the positives no matter how small they are, have fun and have pride in knowing you are starting on a journey.0 -
Heck, yeah. I never make fun or pass judgmental statements on to people who are not physically fit. I was 53 when I decided my health mattered. I lost the excess weight that year and plan to keep it off. I was always the "ugly sister" and my mother like to say that to people. In front of me.
to me, it is all about portion control and moving more. The longer I am on "a healthy lifestyle" the better I feel and react in a more positive manner as to what life throws me.
Each of us gets their in our own way in our own time.0 -
I am truly sorry for your pain. I can relate and know how devastating it must have been for you at that impressionable age.
For me it was at about the same age. My father's uncle said to me, "you are a little fat girl". I remember it to this day. How humiliating and hurtful that was. I was pretty outgoing before that.
Sam may be right, but it is difficult after a long lifetime of not liking yourself. The insecurities run very deep and are not easy to overcome.
You are right to do this for yourself! Best of luck to you!
This thread brings tears to my eyes reading about the painful words and stories!0 -
You're 45, right? I don't mean to minimize your experiences as a child (mine sucked too and I get it), but at some point you have to accept responsibility for you as you are right now, regardless of what happened to you, then look yourself in the mirror, be brutally honest with yourself, determine what it is that you want, set goals, and go get it. Period.0
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Make a complaint about the bus driver while actually not caring about what he thought.0
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First of all, glad you're here. I can totally relate to what you're going through. I remember being 11 years old, sitting on my bed, crying because I was "fat". I've been struggling with my weight ever since. Right before I got married and had kids, I was in the best shape of my life, but still thought I was fat. Now, 5 years, 2 kids, and 20 pounds later, I would give anything to look like I did back then.
I guess my point is that even when I was at my fittest, I still had body image issues. I was thin, tan, had muscle definition and had so much energy and I STILL saw myself as fat and unattractive. Seeing myself 20 pounds heavier now certainly doesn't help my self esteem and it's something I struggle with daily. I'm 32 so it's been over 20 years that I've been dealing with this so I get where you're coming from. It's not something that's going to change overnight or even in a couple weeks. It's a journey, and it's one that I'm glad you started!
Keep your chin up and work hard. I just started here, so I'm sure others can give you better advice but so far I'm learning that no one can change you but you. YOU have to want it, YOU have to change it. I think doing something like this for yourself is definitely a step in the right direction.
You can do it!0 -
I'm so glad you are doing this for yourself!! That is the key, and yes, I speak from many, many years of experience on that one. Congratulations and enjoy your Journey.
Sharon0 -
That's true SonofaBeach14, but some times it helps to pin point when it happened so history does not repeat itself. I don't plan to waddle in self pity. That would be self destructive. I was just saying reflecting back, I know how I started to get this way. I was always overweight but I did not know I was until that moment and it did effect self confidence which led to other problem areas. That's all.0
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You're 45, right? I don't mean to minimize your experiences as a child (mine sucked too and I get it), but at some point you have to accept responsibility for you as you are right now, regardless of what happened to you, then look yourself in the mirror, be brutally honest with yourself, determine what it is that you want, set goals, and go get it. Period.
That's true Son of a Beach 14, but sometimes it helps to pin point when it started so history doesn't repeat itself. Believe me, I don't plan to waddle in self pity. That would be self destructive. I was just saying reflecting back, I now know how I started spiraling out of control. I was always overweight but I didn't know until that moment and it did effect my life afterwards with self confidence and in other areas. That's all.0 -
these have helped me over the past while:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/asciiqwerty/view/ten-steps-to-a-healthier-happier-you-6512150 -
these have helped me over the past while:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/asciiqwerty/view/ten-steps-to-a-healthier-happier-you-651215
Absolutely.0
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