what's hiding under my clothes

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hollymccall
hollymccall Posts: 88 Member
in Getting Started
Okay, I'm 33 years old. Right now I weigh a 144lbs. my goal weight is 120 pounds, now that may seem like too much to some people but trust me that's when I look my best. Try to remember I am a mom of 4 so I have a lot of stretch marks, which I know I can't do anything about it so I'm not even worried about those. However, I do have a lot of fat. ALOT! most of my body weight is just plain fat that is hanging on my body. when my doctor said that I was retaining too much fat tissue. She said I'm going to have to just work really hard to lose it.

I'm so self conscious about my body, that I don't even wanna be naked in front of my husband.I may not be extremely overweight, but a majority of my weight is all fat tissue. my clothes hide it all well, well enough.but I don't want to have to hide it. I want to be able to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to wear shorts and halter is with confidence during the summer. I want to put on some sexy lingerie and make it look good.

Is there anyone else out there, dealing with anything similar?

Replies

  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
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    UMMM HELLO!!! lol I actually don't have a high body fat percentage - it's right in the middle. i do have way too much around my tummy though and consequently my husband has seen me naked only a handful of times. I always wear camis under everything as well to try to keep it "held in." I also think my thighs are disgusting but he is adamant abotu giving his honest opinion that my only trouble spot is my stomach. We are definitely our own worst critics.

    I am a huge cardio lover and nothing will ever replace that. However, I can tell you that when I lift more I feel stronger and leaner and it really boosts my self confidence.

    Your husband loves you for you and he doesn't see what you see when you look in the mirror. Try to keep that in mind.
  • JaysWays
    JaysWays Posts: 77 Member
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    I did. I didn't feel comfortable. It took me awhile to realize. Every good choice I take is for my body and health. You have to start loving your body no matter if you arent at your goal yet. Start to look in the mirror by yourself. Tell your self you love your body. You cant wait for what the future holds. Your being way to hard on yourself. Start wearing sexi outfits for your husband. Yet your not completely bare but its sexi and you will feel sexi. Just have to find something that you feel comfortable in. Like a Short Lace nightgown stuff like that. Start there. You have to start talking to your mind and body more positive thoughts. You are beautiful;-)
  • Sunbrooke
    Sunbrooke Posts: 632 Member
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    I didn't have the same problems, but I did feel too unhappy with how I looked to be comfortable being naked in front of my husband. I was whining to him about it one day and he said, "then do something about it!" I did. I made going to the gym five days a week my top priority. I did the same with groceries. I only bought foods that I wanted to be eating. I have lost the extra weight and I feel really great now. I looked fine before, but I didn't feel good about it.

    Exercise and eat less calories. You will lose the fat. You may benefit from strength training since you are not overweight.
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
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    Men please tell these ladies that me " Loooove" naked women especially their wives.
  • Whyareyoumad
    Whyareyoumad Posts: 268 Member
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    Ok, I will go. As a man I love seeing my wife naked, I just wish she saw the same thing I see. She is beautiful and her own worse critic.
  • grandsister2
    grandsister2 Posts: 1
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    Take a break and let yourself enjoy your body now. Your husband loves YOU. This body is the only one you get. First, loosing weight is important for your health. 2nd losing weight and feeling good about yourself is all important too. Take one step at a time and you will succeed, one pound at a time. Start by making 1 change in your diet. Then move on to 2nd change. Count up your successes as your move along. It's empowering! You will succeed.
  • flippy1234
    flippy1234 Posts: 686 Member
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    Weights. It will suck it all in and tighten it up...it will take time but that's your best bet.
  • hollymccall
    hollymccall Posts: 88 Member
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    UMMM HELLO!!! lol I actually don't have a high body fat percentage - it's right in the middle. i do have way too much around my tummy though and consequently my husband has seen me naked only a handful of times. I always wear camis under everything as well to try to keep it "held in." I also think my thighs are disgusting but he is adamant abotu giving his honest opinion that my only trouble spot is my stomach. We are definitely our own worst critics.

    I am a huge cardio lover and nothing will ever replace that. However, I can tell you that when I lift more I feel stronger and leaner and it really boosts my self confidence.

    Your husband loves you for you and he doesn't see what you see when you look in the mirror. Try to keep that in mind.
    Lol. I know what you mean. My husband tells me that I'm beautiful all the time, and he tells me that me being fat is just ridiculous. he has been honest with me by saying that I have gained in my tummy area, but I've also have 4 children! he never goes one day without telling me that I'm beautiful and how much he loves me. But still I have a sexy husband and I want to be the sexy wife.
  • jrussoalesi
    jrussoalesi Posts: 18 Member
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    I just underwent a Metabolic scoring at Life Time Fitness and both they and my Dr. said the only thing that will burn fat vs carbohydrates from your body is keeping your heart rate in Zone 1 and 2. Its tough, I've been away from CrossFit for several weeks and it is killing me but it's working. Buy a heart rate monitor and be aware of your zone 1 and 2 heart rates for the optimal burn. High Cardio depletes other nutrients from either your muscles or burns carbohydrates if you are not eating enough lean protein and good fats to fuel your body. Incorporate seeds, raw or roasted nuts unsalted for your snacks and start taking Omega -3 or find fish and other protein sources to help your body burn that fat and lower your BMI%.
  • Tmccall55
    Tmccall55 Posts: 10 Member
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    Hi Holly, your post caught my eye because we share a last name. We're in Texas and have roots from Oklahoma. How bout you?

    You're going to love this program. Commit to it. I've lost 35lbs and then got sick in January so have been at a stand still since then, but haven't gained any back. I still have twenty to lose but I need to get healthy again before I start in earnest. It really helps you become aware of the way you eat. and it will monitor the fat intake for you. I love that.

    I have a daughter with MRKH who also has a very high fat problem. She is at near normal weight now, but still has very fatty tissues. Diet and exercise will help a great deal, however, some is just stuff you must live with. None of us are perfect. She's a beautiful girl like you and has just learned to "dress" well to camoflauge her figure flaws. She also has a hubby who thinks she's crazy to be so critical of her body.

    Love the skin that you're in. Be happy and take care of yourself and your beauty will shine!
  • Fraulein86
    Fraulein86 Posts: 4 Member
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    Hi, I'm only 18, but 4 years ago I was only 128 pounds. I started birth control a year later because of painful ovarian cysts. Since then, I suddenly put on about 30 pounds and then some, and I still have the dark stretch marks to show it. They are all over my lower abdomen, my butt, my arms, and my hips. I feel somewhat self-conscious about them, but I've realized that since I've lost weight, they've become less noticeable, so I don't care about them anymore. If I'm slim with stretch marks, so be it. I've worn loose-fitting clothing all of my life and I used to live by it, but I have made decent progress and should be at my goal weight before the end of the year. So there's no need to worry about the clothing you can't wear now; as long as you keep losing weight, you will be able to wear whatever you want! (especially at 120 lbs.) Plus, from your picture I see that you're very pretty! I don't think your body fat matters as much as you think it does. (but for your health, work hard to lose it)
  • hollymccall
    hollymccall Posts: 88 Member
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    Hi, I'm only 18, but 4 years ago I was only 128 pounds. I started birth control a year later because of painful ovarian cysts. Since then, I suddenly put on about 30 pounds and then some, and I still have the dark stretch marks to show it. They are all over my lower abdomen, my butt, my arms, and my hips. I feel somewhat self-conscious about them, but I've realized that since I've lost weight, they've become less noticeable, so I don't care about them anymore. If I'm slim with stretch marks, so be it. I've worn loose-fitting clothing all of my life and I used to live by it, but I have made decent progress and should be at my goal weight before the end of the year. So there's no need to worry about the clothing you can't wear now; as long as you keep losing weight, you will be able to wear whatever you want! (especially at 120 lbs.) Plus, from your picture I see that you're very pretty! I don't think your body fat matters as much as you think it does. (but for your health, work hard to lose it)
    Thank you for the complement! You sound very wise beyond your years.
  • hollymccall
    hollymccall Posts: 88 Member
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    Hi Holly, your post caught my eye because we share a last name. We're in Texas and have roots from Oklahoma. How bout you?

    You're going to love this program. Commit to it. I've lost 35lbs and then got sick in January so have been at a stand still since then, but haven't gained any back. I still have twenty to lose but I need to get healthy again before I start in earnest. It really helps you become aware of the way you eat. and it will monitor the fat intake for you. I love that.

    I have a daughter with MRKH who also has a very high fat problem. She is at near normal weight now, but still has very fatty tissues. Diet and exercise will help a great deal, however, some is just stuff you must live with. None of us are perfect. She's a beautiful girl like you and has just learned to "dress" well to camoflauge her figure flaws. She also has a hubby who thinks she's crazy to be so critical of her body.

    Love the skin that you're in. Be happy and take care of yourself and your beauty will shine!
    Hi there. I was born in raised in ga. My husband is also from Georgia, but has roots in Oklahoma. It's where his dad is from.
  • jlynnm70
    jlynnm70 Posts: 460 Member
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    I get what you are saying. I look pretty ok - dressed - naked - well....... Very few of us like to see ourselves naked. We are our own worst critics. My hubby - the butt guy - doesn't mind that I seem to think that is my worst body part. It is what it is - 4 kids and 43 years old - I'm in this for health - not a bikini (but if I can get in one this summer great!)

    Be glad that your husband is supportive and honest. If I ask mine a question about my worst or where I gained his response is "Oh Hell I am not answering that" However in the last 2 months he has said my butt is smaller and I'll take that.

    Get into it for your health - do some research and then go with it. You are a pretty lady, keep it up and love yourself - sometimes changing our attitude is the biggest makeover we have to make!
  • Chessie24
    Chessie24 Posts: 60
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    I look decent with clothes on, people actually compliment me. But I feel so disgusting without clothing to hide under. I've had a baby, I don't care about the stretch marks but the weight gain took a huge toll on my body. I've slowly seen progress on my underarms and stomach but my inner thighs are the hardest. All I can say is learn to love yourself at every stage, eventually you'll get there :)
  • 1HappyRedhead
    1HappyRedhead Posts: 413 Member
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    We've got news for you Holly.... you already ARE the sexy wife you want to be! You're gorgeous and you guys make a beautiful couple. 4 children.... I can't think of anything in the world more loving, giving, and wonderful you could have done with your body.
    If I were guessing, I'd say SO many people on here would trade places with your body in a heartbeat, and most definitely your weight. I really do understand where you're coming from, but also try to realize, you've already reached a lot of other people's goals! So go on, Happy Holly... love your hubby and be the wonderful wife and mom you are! :flowerforyou:
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
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    such great comments.
    I felt similar.

    I've done mainly cardio. I know its time to do weights.... I'm whiney, I don't WANT to, but if I want the change I want... I know I must. Hopefully I fall in love with it as much as everything else I've done and I'll wonder why I waited so long!!!!!!

    I hope you do the same.

    You've got this!
  • hollymccall
    hollymccall Posts: 88 Member
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    Thanks to all of you for the encouragement and support. and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who is self conscious about it hiding under their clothes.
  • frangrann
    frangrann Posts: 219 Member
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    Thanks to all of you for the encouragement and support. and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who is self conscious about it hiding under their clothes.

    Seems like there are a lot of us hiding under clothes…..I have been married for 24 yrs and 3 kids later I too am self-conscious….he said I looked good 30 lbs ago and he says I look awesome now…..was he lying before or is that what men see?

    Guess if I ask if my butt looks big he gonna say no every time. I'll ask my 18 yr old daughter, she's brutally honest!

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