Struggling to find right balance

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Thomaskerrya
Thomaskerrya Posts: 34 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Firstly let me say a bit about myself so you get the picture; I'm a 197lb 42 year old working wife & mother.

I started training for a 5K two months ago. Hubby and I run three-four times a week, currently at the level of between 1.5-3 miles and not particularly fast! We also do a little bit of resistance training on some rest days (a slow paced 15-30 mins on high resistance on the cross trainer).

First month I didn't change my eating habits and actually put on 4lbs. So got my head in gear and started using this site. Wokred out my base calorie rate, 1500. So set my intake at 1200-1300 cals a day, exc workout calories. I struggle to eat any more, esp the workout calories. I'm eating lean meat, fish, cutting carbs where I can, no alcohol, but do have the odd treat. But I've only lost 3 ounces this week!

I know people might tell me I'm not eating enough or I'm in starvation mode, but on the odd day off and I've eaten over 1500 calories, my weight jumps up a pound or two - and stays there and I have to go back to my plan and work it off slowly again.

It's really disheartening because it means I can't have the odd meal out with the family or the occasional treat because the weight jumps back on with force!

What am I doing wrong and what can I do in order to live a normal life and get to a healthy weight !

Replies

  • Hondo_Man
    Hondo_Man Posts: 114 Member
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    Then I would think you are eating in a caloric surplus. Do you know your BMR and TDEE? Once you determine those, you will be better able to control the amount of calories you take in in order to lose weight and have a caloric deficit.

    If you are running 3-4 days per week and weight training also - on your rest days, then when do you have an actual rest day or days? Muscles need rest in order to repair, grow and help you increase endurance and strength.
  • Thomaskerrya
    Thomaskerrya Posts: 34 Member
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    I've not heard of TDEE, what is it? I'll try anything that helps. We do rest properly about every fifth day - but I kinda figure my workouts are so low paced because I'm so unfit and not capable of much, that I'm not really doing enough to warrant a rest yet?! I don't know if I'm scared of overdoing it or not doing enough. My friend has a personal trainer (I can't afford one) and he pushes her much harder on her workouts. I feel like I'm not doing enough although I'm physically doing as much as I can, if that makes sense?
  • Thomaskerrya
    Thomaskerrya Posts: 34 Member
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    Oh ok, just looked it up. My BMI rate is 1550 and my TDEE rate is 2000. But I'm scared to death of eating 2000 calories, that's a level that makes my scales go up!

    I could try it but I don't want to lose a week to experimenting. How long would I have to give this to see results?
  • EpsilonGamma
    EpsilonGamma Posts: 96
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    TDEE = Total daily energy expenditure. Which also calculates the energy you use walking/eating...general daily things. You can also factor in activity if you want.

    Anyways, first, if you are around 5'7" then your TDEE is 1900. You should aim to eat around 500 under this. so 1400. If you want, you can eat back your exercise calories but not so required since your exercise level is very small at the moment.

    Now, what are you eating? You'll need to open up your dairy so others can see and actually help. The more you tell people about yourself the more people can actually help.

    Stop weighing yourself every day. It doesn't work. Twice a week is fine. Lots of water weight, depending on salt and carb intake.

    Don't listen to people who think you are in starvation mode. At 1300-1400 calories, your not going into starvation mode.
  • Thomaskerrya
    Thomaskerrya Posts: 34 Member
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    Thank you. That's sound advice. I'm only 5'5" with a BMI calorie rate of 1550, but I understand eating under 1200 cals isn't good for you - so should I stick to 1200? I'd rather not eat back my workout cals at all, so is 1200 ok on workout days too?
  • Thomaskerrya
    Thomaskerrya Posts: 34 Member
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    And I know be scales are my enemy but I'm so desperate to lose weight ;( once I get into a regular routine that's working I will be able to put them away :)
  • EpsilonGamma
    EpsilonGamma Posts: 96
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    well it doesn't change much. Your TDEE is 1862, so you should be eating 1350 each day. This is definitely a target, don't try to eat under it. You want to be eating high protein, somewhere around 100-120g of protein. If you exercise that day (resistance) then you can eat a few carbs, but I would be limiting to around 80-100g each day.

    Make sure to eat lots of leafy greens so you have a good balance of fibre as well.

    At 1350, you should be losing 1lb each week. So yeah, measuring each day doesn't work. But don't put away the scales, you do need to measure yourself week to week.
  • Thomaskerrya
    Thomaskerrya Posts: 34 Member
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    Thank you. This all helps. I must admit, although I've been counting my calories I haven't been particularly bothered with where those calories have come from, thought that it wouldn't matter as long as I cut out pasta and bread. But after what you've said, and doing a bit of reading up, I can see it does make a difference. So to start with today I've just whipped up some scrambled eggs with chopped ham (no fats, all lean). I want to get this right so I will spend some time looking up recipes and ideas to help. This has to work, I'm fed up with being overweight and unfit :(
  • Hondo_Man
    Hondo_Man Posts: 114 Member
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    A 42 years-old woman, 5`7, 197 pounds with 5 days per week exercise. Correct?

    I calculate your TDEE at 2380 and your BMR (not BMI - that is entirely different) at 1630. Think of BMR as this: if you were comatose, what would it take to keep your body alive? 1630 calories per day. Eating 1300 or 1400 is less than practicle. If you are truly exercising as you describe than you WILL lose weight if you ate between 1600 and 1700 calories per day.

    Going to extreme measures to lose weight is not healthy and not wise. Yes it is faster, but you stand a better chance to gain it back. Why? You`ve been starving yourself for months to drop weight. Once you hit your goal, you will be more likely to put it back on. Slow and steady is a better chance to keep the weight off. You will not be starving yourself to reah your goal. Furthermore, once you are at your goal, you can add 200 or 300 calories per day, still be under your TDEE and maintain your weight. Going from 1300 to 1900 or 2000 is a huge increase in calories and you`ll end up wanting more.

    At 1600 calories per day, with exercise and your present body mass, you will still be losing the weight you want. Trust me. I`ve been doing this for nearly 30 years. I eat 3000 calories per day. Presently I eat 2800 to drop a few kgs to tighten up. Then back to 3000 to maintain. For me to drop to 2200 calories would be too hard and is, again not healthy.

    I do not advocate these starvation diets where some drop to 1200 or 1300 calories per day. It is too hard and I firmly believe it is unhealthy. Epsilon is correct about protein. You could even go up as far as 140gr per day. Chicken, Tofu, Fish, Egg whites, protein shakes will be your friend. Losts of almonds, walnuts, and flaxseed oil.

    I wish you lots of luck and stay positive.
  • Hondo_Man
    Hondo_Man Posts: 114 Member
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    Thank you. This all helps. I must admit, although I've been counting my calories I haven't been particularly bothered with where those calories have come from, thought that it wouldn't matter as long as I cut out pasta and bread. But after what you've said, and doing a bit of reading up, I can see it does make a difference. So to start with today I've just whipped up some scrambled eggs with chopped ham (no fats, all lean). I want to get this right so I will spend some time looking up recipes and ideas to help. This has to work, I'm fed up with being overweight and unfit :(

    Urgh! :) You most certainly need carbs, young lady. Pasta, breads, rice, etc. Fats are a better source of energy. Carbs get a back reputation. For people who are sedentary, than less carbs might be better. You are exercising. You need carbs and fats. I do recommend you avoid white breads, pasta and rice. Slow digesting and complex carbs are much better. Full grain rice, breads and pasta will help your body`s overall health. Sweet potatos are great. Avacodos are a good source of quality fats. Peanuts, not so much. Look at Nutritiondata.com and various foods with high glycemic loads and high sugar carbs. Try to avoid or keep those to a minimum. Your veg is nearly all you want. There are so few carbs and calories in varous veg that eating those is highly recommended. Try and stick with green-leafy. Broccoli, Zucchini, corn salad, rocket salad, leechs, etc.

    :)
  • Thomaskerrya
    Thomaskerrya Posts: 34 Member
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    Thank you Hondo Man, I wish I were 5'7" but alas I'm only 5'5" (so rounder than ever!) I am grateful for the advice, I'm taking it all on board and trying to plan accordingly. Trying to accept I have to eat more rather than less, and better foods at that. (I've crash dieted before, never exercised, and yes always put it back on, so at my age now I want to do it properly and make it last).

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