I think I have a problem with food...and need help!

bren1286
bren1286 Posts: 5
in Food and Nutrition
Hey everyone. So the more I think about it the more I think I have a problem with food. However, I don't think the people I've mentioned it to actually believe me because of what I look like. I'm small (120, 5'1) and I think when most people thinking of eating issues they think morbidly obese or sickly thin.

For the past few years I've been moderately concerned about my eating habits and exercising. It all started a few summers ago when my mom was dying. I think I felt such a lack of control over that that I started walking daily and monitoring my food. But then I became so obsessed with eating healthy that I drove myself crazy. Eventually I stopped logging food and just maintained a healthy lifestyle. Then I became vegetarian for a bit and started running. I think at that point I found a good balance. However, last summer, I had the amazing opportunity to travel abroad by myself. The problem was that I was so incredibly homesick I took to eating a lot (mainly cookies!). I think I've always been an emotional eater (when my mom died, etc) but I can't bounce back from it. I've been back home for quite awhile and I can't stop eating terrible food. Mainly sweets and it's all the time. I'll know I'll regret it but I do it anyway. I'll find reasons to go to the store to get something else and then just pick up cookies or ice cream or candy at the checkout. I do it secretly and always feel guilty about it. I do it to reward myself ("oh you've been eating well for like 2 days you deserve something unhealthy" or "you had a rough day, you deserve something unhealthy"). I've tried cheat days and eating in moderation and I can't do it. And the thing is...I wish I hadn't every.single.time. I'll feel sick and tell myself "next time don't do this!" But then later when I feel fine, I'll do it again and have all these excuses.

I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I'll plan meals, buy healthy things to cook at the store, etc but I always end up pigging out later. Like I said, it's mainly sweets that I crave but I sometimes have issues with just plain eating bad food in general. I don't know if this is the right place to post this, I just need helpful insight or advice. Thanks!

Replies

  • _cdaley
    _cdaley Posts: 79 Member
    I would suggest seeing a psychologist, if you can. Online communities like this can be great places to find support, but based on what you wrote, I think you might benefit from talking to a professional. It sounds like your eating behaviors are pretty deeply tied to emotional/control issues, which you seem to recognize. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be a really effective way of coping with thoughts or situations that trigger certain behaviors, while also adjusting the behaviors themselves. I've been there, and while my behaviors didn't have to do with food, I think that if you try to address the root of the problem (the thoughts or emotions that trigger the behavior) rather than just try to stop the behavior itself verbatim, you can be more successful. Wishing you the best!
  • MadTownD
    MadTownD Posts: 149 Member
    I would suggest seeing a psychologist, if you can. Online communities like this can be great places to find support, but based on what you wrote, I think you might benefit from talking to a professional. It sounds like your eating behaviors are pretty deeply tied to emotional/control issues, which you seem to recognize. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be a really effective way of coping with thoughts or situations that trigger certain behaviors, while also adjusting the behaviors themselves. I've been there, and while my behaviors didn't have to do with food, I think that if you try to address the root of the problem (the thoughts or emotions that trigger the behavior) rather than just try to stop the behavior itself verbatim, you can be more successful. Wishing you the best!

    +1
  • gleekymoho
    gleekymoho Posts: 19 Member
    I agree that talking to someone might help in figuring out how to process the emotions behind the chaotic eating patterns. They might help you find ways to cope with negative emotions in ways that don't involve food.

    I really think it is poignant that you mention your patterns of eating and having it be non detectable through your actual body weight. It makes me think of the fact that you can experience disordered eating without having an eating disorder.
  • Confuzzled4ever
    Confuzzled4ever Posts: 2,860 Member
    Go talk to someone. I had all kinds of issues after my dad died.. And when I woke up my life was a mess. I did go talk to someone 3 times,but quit going and I really wish I hadn't. Losing a parent affects us in way we can't imagine. There are still times where I am just overcome with grief and my dad passed away 17 years ago. I honestly think it all stems from that. A ton of issues my brother and I had all traced back to losing our dad.

    Go talk to someone and keep going, even when you're sure they aren't helping.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
    I am sorry for that :( well, as you've said you are likely an emotional eater, I suggest that you channel all that energy to something productive. Get a hobby or meet new people, hang out with your friends a lot, get into sports or music, do something tedious yet productive so that all the emotions will be channeled into tasks that are for your own good.

    I am an emotional eater as well but I found out that if I do a lot of cooking, I eat less. Idk why and it's really ironic but I just enjoy the process of cooking or baking too much that all my impulses to pig out goes away. Instead, I get the satisfaction from my end product and also, I am very happyw when i see my family and friends eat that stuff that I made :) it depends on your interest, take some time to really think about what stuff are you really inclined in, what is your passion? What do you want in life? Re evaluate your life and see if you have been missing something or if you wanna add something in your life. I hope I helped :):flowerforyou:
  • bren1286
    bren1286 Posts: 5
    Thank you everyone! Your support has been great and really helpful! I've thought about going to talk to someone but like I said, anytime I mention my problem to friends or family they're like "but you're so small!" or something similar to makes me feel like there's really no problem. I know it's not their fault but I think it's made me believe that nothing is wrong.

    I actually do love to cook! I find it very relaxing and the funny thing is that I always make healthy food. I've never had the desire to bake cookies or cake or anything (unless it's for my boyfriend and then I make something I know I won't eat). My life has been kind of crazy the past few months but I'm about to start a full time 9-5 job and I'm hoping it'll also help create some balance. I've been waiting tables and I think that's helped contribute to my out of control eating (1/2 price food, being around food all the time, the convenience of eating at work, and the long hours).
  • enchantedgardener
    enchantedgardener Posts: 214 Member
    I'm an emotional eater as well. There are many of us who are. While your family and friends may not see the problem you describe, it certainly sounds like a form of disordered eating. You don't need to be morbidly obese (or stick thin) to have a problem with food.

    Your best course of action, as others have mentioned, is to speak with a professional counselor or therapist. You need to deal with the emotions that are causing you to turn to food. This is the most important step you can take in resolving your issue with food.

    Minimizing stress is definitely a step in the right direction. Establishing a routine in your life, having set meal times, getting adequate sleep and regular exercise will all help in managing your emotions (and thus your disordered eating).

    Feel free to add me as a friend and/or join the Binge Eating Support Group board here on MFP. Having people you know you can talk to who understand your struggles can be a great help.

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