Talking to friends outside MFP

kpnuts23 · December 2010

Good morning everyone...
Last night I had a food/fitness chat with my friend who has never been on a diet in her whole life (because she doesn't need to), however she spoke to me about how she was keeping a food log to see what she was eating throught the whole day and thought it was "weird" to do so... She thought SHE was the weird one... that stunned me.. so i didn't say anything about how i religously (sp) log EVERYTHING becuase i didn't want her to judge me.. yet when im on here i feel it is perfectly normal.
I find it very hard to talk to my girl friends about weight loss and the such like becuase they have such mixed views on it all.. some will go to the extreams of telling me to "shut up" because they dont want to hear about it.. gets me down sometimes because they just dont understand why im doing this.

Does anyone else have this issue..?:frown:

posherspice · December 2010

Weight is a major issue for almost all women regardless of whether they have a problem or not...it brings up all sorts of feelings, conscious or unconscious, about what we *should* or *should not* be doing and about how we feel about our bodies and ourselves. So it can be hard to talk to others about your challenges because it makes them feel criticised / inadequate / smug / unjustly lucky / whatever. It's similar to when you have a baby and the most innocent remark about breast-feeding choices or work patterns can lead to tears and defensiveness in other mothers! so I choose who I discuss weight with carefully - there are many hidden agendas.

Robin1117 · December 2010

I do limit who I talk to about eating and fitness challenges, mainly because I find people in real life kind of glaze over during the discussion. Topics we discuss on MFP: logging in foods, what to eat, how to log calories accurately, how to keep motivated, how to mix up exercise routine........this is all way too much info for people unless they are into it themselves. So I tend to stew about this stuff internally or discuss here on the site only. And also, since I'm maintaining now, when I talk to my friends and husband, they all think I need to stop obsessing (similar to yours telling you to shut up...) because I don't need to lose any more weight. Little do they know how hard maintaining is.....

About logging in foods--I'm hearing about more and more people who are using tools like this, including Weight Watchers, to log foods but not so many last as long because they think it's tedious. I have recommended this site to 4 or 5 people who seemed interested, and all did join but never got into it for more than a few weeks. I think the first month or so is hard, when you have to find all your regular foods in the database; if you make it past that stage it's easy, but I haven't seen many people stick with it. Don't feel like it's weird---it's great you have this and it works for you!

DeeDeeLHF · December 2010

Woman hate to be criticized...so when you bring up weight or nutrition, something that they know that they "should" be doing they automatically go defensive. When people say weird things to me, I too, hate to be criticized and go on the defensive!

I do not talk much about it at all. Even now when people say I look great I just say, "thanks" and let it go. When they ask if I want to lose more or more likely say..."you aren't planning on losing any more are you???" I say, "I am really pleased with what I have accomplished" or in a very cheery voice I say, "I plan to just focus on being healthy". None of these responses put them on the defensive or put me on the defensive.

I agree with everything that Kadetr and Posherspice have said. They are both spot on!

Make your friends here and let it all out with us!!:drinker:

D

curvykatie · December 2010

Yes! i totally have this problem, i try and talk to them (them being friend and boyfriend) about it because i need the help and they just dismiss it saying 'you don't need to lose weight' then don't believe me when i tell them how much a weigh! so i'm just giving up now, and i don't really seem to get into conversations with people here so i just keep it to myself.

Katie
xxx

ironmule2042 · December 2010

Women aren't the only ones who have this issue. There are some people I just don't talk to about my nutrition and such. They just don't get it. It's worse with the few who seem to eat anything and never change. They look at me like I'm an alien when I say I log everything and follow strict guidelines for myself.

altushe · December 2010

So glad to hear others are experiencing or are challenged by this same issue. I agree that people not involved do not always understand the complexity of the issues that we experience and discuss here at MFP. Particularly now that I am working on maintenance, people think you are "done" thinking about food, weight, etc. when this is actually harder for me than losing (because like others, I want this time to be different). One of the greatest benefits of MFP is the support we all get from other members. I joined this site not to lose, but for maintenance and am hooked. I log religiously and search the message boards frequently to find others who are experiencing the same challenges or to find those who have had success and can share their experience. THANKS!

ginnyroxx · December 2010

if i told anybody how obsessive i've become about logging my food and my workouts (with my hrm .... they think having an hrm is over the top), they'd think i was crazy.

<vent>....especially bc in the 65 days i've been on mfp, i really can't tell much difference in my body although I work my *kitten* off in the gym almost every single day. </vent>

(sidebar: i'm frustrated tonight, so my attitude may be skewed)

anyways....the only person IRL that knows everything, understands and fully supports me is my equally obsessed boyfriend.

soooo....i just do what i do and keep my business to myself.

Talking to friends outside MFP

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