Question for Ladies

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Replies

  • MaeRay007
    MaeRay007 Posts: 68 Member
    No, No , and No
  • dark_angel1554
    dark_angel1554 Posts: 65 Member
    I'de be honest with the guy before he spends his cash and tell him I'm taken. If after he still wants to, sure! But it won't make a difference as I'm happily commited and will tell him that.
  • angel7472
    angel7472 Posts: 317 Member
    If it was a group thing then yes. If its just for me then no. When a guy buys a drink for a specific person that means he is hoping to get somewhere with that person. Thats my personal experience. Better to just say I appreciate the offer but no thank you.
  • Bethie_J
    Bethie_J Posts: 43 Member
    Nope, accepting the drink is an unspoken acceptance of further communications.
  • SamanthaD1218
    SamanthaD1218 Posts: 303 Member
    If I was in a relationship and a stranger offered me a drink, I'd very politely turn him down. I kind of think of it this way... would I want my guy buying a random girl a drink? I know it's entirely different and all comes down to intention, but think about it this way - why is a stranger buying you a drink? Because he's flirting with you. If you accept the drink, you are (in his mind) encouraging the flirting.

    Just my opinion, though! No guy I've dated would be comfortable with me accepting a drink for a random dude. And since I am capable of buying my own drinks, it's just not an issue.
  • littlebutlean
    littlebutlean Posts: 2,159 Member
    Nope, accepting the drink is an unspoken acceptance of further communications.

    ^ This .. from a guy's standpoint, if the drink is accepted they've opened up the lines of communication for further interest.
  • Leather_N_Lace
    Leather_N_Lace Posts: 518 Member
    My husband doesn't go out.. So I go with my ladies. If I am at the bar and I watch the bartender make it then yes, I will accept a drink.. I am honest about being married.. Invite him over to the table to meet my girls. I may even dance with him. It is all about boundaries and being respectful to yourself and them. I'm naturally flirtatious with men and women and have a personality that most people find welcoming and fun to be around. I pretty much just let them know up front that there isn’t any chance and that I will be going home to hubs.
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    Nope, accepting the drink is an unspoken acceptance of further communications.

    ^ This .. from a guy's standpoint, if the drink is accepted they've opened up the lines of communication for further interest.

    I think it just depends on the social environment. As a bartender, I have guys buying other dudes drinks (not gay guys either) just because they think their hat is funny or they came in with someone they knew. Drinks are super cheap where I live. Actually, if where I live, if a woman wants to say, "I'm not interested," they sit in their own seat, and then they buy the guy a drink back. The drink back means, "I take care of myself but I am not snooty. I am not obligated to you and this was a friendly exchange that is now complete." I see it night after night.

    I also see that men are often confused by how women perceive things. I also think it doesn't matter. Just take the free drink and ignore the guy. Many men in bars are often there to get laid. Women should just ignore that and have fun. You can't go around tip toeing all night trying not to offend horny guys. Just do your thing and do whatever you feel comfortable with. Guys are pretty much horny all the time so it doesn't matter whether or not you accept the drink.:tongue:
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member

    I do want to say that friendly drink buying is super common where I live. People often by rounds for the bar or just any random people sitting nearby. It is considered a social faux pas not to take the drink (or if you don't want a drink, you will get a token for the next time you come in). The bartender will give you a token and take the person's money whether or not you want the drink. It's just the social custom in Montana.

    We do that in the ADK too :) Which is why it's never a problem to accept a drink!
  • cheekymcgee
    cheekymcgee Posts: 140
    I accept free drinks if handed to me by the bartender, and I say thanks. I don't flirt or lead anyone on, and I do not see a drink as an implied contract of continued interaction.

    This!
  • lucille_heather
    lucille_heather Posts: 650 Member
    if its a free drink, il take it, polite small talk with the guy. but as soon as he gets too friendly, then il tell him ive got a boyfriend.
  • MrsPaulSmith
    MrsPaulSmith Posts: 401 Member
    I accept all freebies. I will talk to anyone, but I do not intentionally flirt.
  • lraymond14
    lraymond14 Posts: 22 Member
    No! I try to think about it if the shoe was on the other foot. I know I wouldn't like it if my husband accepted a drink from another woman.
  • Ihatecoldsoup
    Ihatecoldsoup Posts: 186
    If the guy was smart, he wouldn't buy a random girl a drink unless they were conversing first.
  • Mele1973
    Mele1973 Posts: 27
    If the guy was smart, he wouldn't buy a random girl a drink unless they were conversing first.

    Yup, this! I live in a small town, too, but this has not happened to me. We would have to be already chatting it up for a guy to even offer to buy. I think it's very situational - depends on the person, the circumstances, what was exchanged already, my relationship (since this assumes a committed relationship), etc, etc. As a rule of thumb, I would likely not accept under the over-simplistic situation laid out here.
  • phuckingbadasscutie
    phuckingbadasscutie Posts: 1,619 Member
    Yes but I always start with "I'm married and I have 4 kids" usually the guys don't care. I've actually had this happen in front of my husband several times also. He thinks it's hilarious.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    No and no.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    no on the drink

    but yea on the talking to them if they seem cool ....which is rare

    its happened many times in front of previous partners not a big deal
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    No.


    Not that that ever happens. :laugh:
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    Depends on creep factor.
    It's my job to talk to people and I travel a LOT so I'll happily bullsh!t with anyone as long as it's kosher.



    I see I'm the minority here. LOL oh well!
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    Yes, but I am a bartender and have been for 18 years. That's how I met my partner of 12 years. I live in a town of about 30,000 so most of the guys who come up to me are customers. I take their drinks and say thank you and keep it friendly but professional. I have to keep a flirty yet distant relationship with my clientele. My partner is aware of the fact that I'm "on stage" when I go out and is okay with it because I don't take it to an inappropriate level.

    Plus, in my experience both observing and being out, you can totally take a free drink and feel no obligation to say anything other than, "Thank you."

    Let the bartender hand you the drink, for heaven's sake. Of course you don't take it from the guy.

    I do want to say that friendly drink buying is super common where I live. People often by rounds for the bar or just any random people sitting nearby. It is considered a social faux pas not to take the drink (or if you don't want a drink, you will get a token for the next time you come in). The bartender will give you a token and take the person's money whether or not you want the drink. It's just the social custom in Montana.

    ^and everything she said here.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Depends on creep factor.
    It's my job to talk to people and I travel a LOT so I'll happily bullsh!t with anyone as long as it's kosher.



    I see I'm the minority here. LOL oh well!

    It can get tricky for military spouses. There's a TON of infidelity and it's a super small community. It makes everything easier if there's not even the appearance of impropriety. In many ways the military community is stuck in the 50s.

    Also I'm antisocial and have no desire to talk to anyone. :laugh:
  • luadams2
    luadams2 Posts: 122
    No. In a committed relationship means my man buys my drinks. If I'm out with the girls, I'm out with the girls, not the girls and some random dude.
  • nikkihk
    nikkihk Posts: 487 Member
    If I'm in a committed relationship... I wouldn't need to ask that question.
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
    Yeah, sure. As long as I see the bartender pour the drink and it goes right into my hand. I'll chat with him too. I'd expect my bf to do the same. Actually, I'm pretty sure he does. He's a bar tender, gets bought drinks all the time and flirts for tips every day! haha...
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    I realize your question was directed at women, but I just wanted to say that this was the best answer by far:
    I'de be honest with the guy before he spends his cash and tell him I'm taken. If after he still wants to, sure! But it won't make a difference as I'm happily commited and will tell him that.
  • SuperWhoLock24601
    SuperWhoLock24601 Posts: 245 Member
    Nope. No sense in having a guy waste his money when I have no intent on giving him attention.
  • salvationsdying
    salvationsdying Posts: 205 Member
    Nope, for one thing I do not drink alcohol. And another I am with someone and offering to buy a drink to me is being hit on so Id pass anyways. Politly of course lol

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