Why I'm here

This has been probably the most crazy year of my life. I brought in 2010 strong, I was working out every day, I was tone, eating healthy, and I had quit drinking and smoking. Well all of this ended in March when my boyfriend of 4 years took a new job 5 hours away. I couldn't go because I had obligations to fulfill for myself back at home (school, work, ect.). He was my motivation to go to the gym every day, we went together and did all the same workouts (it was one of those weird couples activities that we did). When he left so did my motivation. I hit a depression and put on 20 lbs in 3 months. (Partly because when I would go and visit him we would only eat out). Also from the stress of everything that was going on I started drinking and smoking again.. Honestly it wasn't until I had to dress up for an event that I realized I had gained so much weight. I was only wearing sweats and baggy shirts so I never really noticed.. Now when I look in the mirror, I don't see me and I know I'm in there somewhere.

This is my 2nd week of diet and exercise. I feel a million times better about myself after every hard workout. I push myself to do more every day. I haven't noticed any changes yet... but I know the weight may have seemed like it went on overnight (although it didn't) so it will not fall off overnight (although I wish it would).

I am now moving to be with my boyfriend (8 lonnngg months later) and I am so excited to carry this healthy lifestyle there with me. I have the amazing support of my family and all of you.

I am still in my height/weight ratio thingy but it tells me I could go down to like 120.. I look so scrawny it 135 (I'm 5'8") So I set my goal not for how much weight I am going to lose.. but by how good I think I look. Thank you all for your encouragement. Everyone on here inspires me.

Sorry for the rambling... lol it must be a fat day :-p