Doing good but stressed out.

Its obviously not about u .. its about the people around u .. did u try to talk about ur goals etc with ur family and friends ? and that u are really serious about achieving them ? ..

I am not interested in "hanging out" with friends and doing nothing, or getting drunk. I would like to spend time with friends if they woukd surf or do something fun, or study with me

SO you don't want to have fun, or do anything that is not your definition of fun.

Most people like to sit and around and chat, get to know each other and such. A lot of people like to go drinking. I understand your aversion to that from your description of your old group, but having a few drinks is normal for many people.

I don't know what you consider "fun" other than surfing. Studying is not a "fun" activity. It can be more enjoyable when with a group, but usually people don't say, "Hey you know what? I want to sit in a group and ignore other people and read my books and take notes. That sounds like fun." No most people would say "Hey would you like to study for a couple hours and then hit the mall?"

My friends and I sit around and chat, make meals together, play board games, go shopping, play video games together, rock climb and many other things. If you don't want to do things that make you sit still, then join some active groups. Hiking clubs are all over the place, but be warned people still might want to "chat" with you.

Honestly it sounds like you don't want friends, because you are too absorbed in yourself. Everything you said was all about you. You gave us a schedule, and its full, I get that. I work, I have night classes. I make time to work out, see my boyfriend and hang out with my friends and my mom. I do this because I make them a priority in my life. Am I as far in my weight loss goal as you? No. But I'm not having panic attacks either.

Everything that has been said here is pretty tame considering her own comments. Let's recap:

It is hard to bring myself to a lower slower level when I'm so used to zooming around.

When I do hangout with my friends I feel angry and impatient with what they say. I am too tired and I can't be bothered having "fun" with chit chat. I hate chit chat.

I feel like I'm doing everything right.

I think we can agree these comments are pretty brutal since she is talking about friends here...which is why I asked why they are her friends.

Continuing on...

It just upsets me that my friends and family are unsupportive and working against my goals, rather than discussing them with me and being supportive.

Defensive. How are they actively working against her goals? Plus, why would they take the time to support her when she has made it clear here that she doesn't like chit chat, doesn't want to hang out and sees time with her friends as a waste of time?

I know not eating is bad, an that is why I want to talk about it before I start an unhealthy habit. I like my health and fitness and dont want to get sick.

So, she wants to talk about her problem with her friends, while at the same time calling them wrong and irritating? People can pick up on frustration all the time...I'm sure her friends are aware there is a problem.

makes me want to starve myself and workout excessively and I am resisting that urge very much because I knkw it is unhealthy. I feel very distressed.

I am fine most of the time. But increasingly lately, I have been having panic attacks and now feel depressed as well. I don't want to lose my health.

She is spiraling here. I would suggest finding a counselor with expertise in ED recovery.

I think my mum is insecure about her own weight and projects that on me when I eat less than her.

Has she had this discussion with her Mom? That's a bold statement. Maybe her Mother is just concerned considering the eating disorder signs she mentioned above.

I'm in the process of trying to build friendships with people who have good qualities. Its just so much effort. (effort I should be putting into study as I'm a little behind) and then afterwards I want to exercise to burn off the stress of not studying and wasting time.

And, again, here she admits that friendships are too much of an effort. Thus, a few of us recommended finding a fitness group that does not require a strong social commitment.

Now, as someone who has recovered from an ED I can tell you that these are all signs of an ED, especially the needing to control and inability to be around other people who are not as preoccupied with food and exercise. This is classic and it's exactly how I started down a really bad path. OP needs to get help from experts, not friends.

The only thing I will defend her on is that she doesn't want to hang out with people doing drugs. That's understandable. Everything else though is highly indicative of a bigger problem that I hope she addresses with a professional.

As someone who has an anti social streak a mile wide, I can empathize with the OP. I do enjoy some interaction with folks, but usually a little dab will do me. And as far as loving to study, for three years when I was caught up in writing historical novels, I didn't read anything published after 1725. It bothers me when I have unexpected company, either at home or at work. And chit chat can drive me crazy. But if someone wants to talk about the tobacco trade in Colonial North Carolina in the early 1700's, I could talk for hours. Everyone is not made the same. Now that I'm in my 50's I don't mind telling people I'm anti social. But when I was a younger man I tried to hangout because it was what everyone does. Age has taught me you have to be true to yourself. At the end of the day, you are the person you need to keep happy.

But I do agree with everyone that she should eat. Fruits, veggies and whole foods are fine, just eat enough of them everyday.

^^ I don't think its a ED .. she just wants her friends and family to be supportive and respect her goals ( she is using working out to clear her mind and she is depressed so she doesn't wana eat .. its just how she acts when she is depressed doesn't mean its a permanent way of coping with stress and that's when u can say she has a ED )

Sorry, but you actually have no idea what an ED is, how they start and how to recover. How do you know what is slight depression v. an eating disorder?

EDs are extremely complex disorders that are much easier to address at the onset, before someone goes down the rabbit hole. The OP admits here that she is worried. She is right to be worried - that's a really good thing. If I could go back in time to where the OP is now and make a change then by finding help, I wouldn't have wasted so many years in angst and trashed so many friendships that I will never get back. Seriously. You have NO idea.